Nicholaus’ breath hitched in his throat. “What are those from?” The times they made love, he’d never noticed them; now he felt like a real asshole.
Chapter 11
“The myriad of times I tried to…” Krystyna looked away.
Jesus fucking Christ. Those words were the last he’d ever expected to hear from his lover. Either of them. “You…” Nicholaus forced himself to sit up even as his body screamed in pain from his lower back. His rib cage burned, causing difficulty in breathing but it didn’t matter. He looked dead on at Krystyna. “You didn’t.”
Krystyna didn’t reply. Instead, she looked down at her arms, then away from Nicholaus.
Reaching for her, he brushed loose strands of hair from her forehead. “Sweetheart, no. Not over me.” He gave her a weak smile.
Krystyna sniffled. "Yes. I did. After you left, I went out running to ease some of the frustration in my head and heart and that's when I ran into Savas. No, we never did shit like he said but he did promise to ease my pain. And spending time with him made my life seem like it had purpose until I found out his real motives. He told me at one point they needed a healer, and that he'd been stalking our pack, watching you. Said he could keep you safe, so…" She sniffled again, louder this time. Tears began streaming down her face.
His heart weighed even heavier in his chest. He had to figure Krystyna would never have gone to Savas willingly, let alone sleep with him. The word games the general played were an annoyance and Nicholaus bought that shit earlier, hook line and sinker. Nicholaus wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb. "You didn't have to worry about me. I kept me safe."
Krystyna's sobs grew louder.
“No, baby no not over someone like me. I’m…”
Katarina touched Nicholaus’ shoulder. “Yes you were and are. Yes, she did. Over you. The truth is that I’ve been the stronger one between the two of us.”
He looked askance at Katarina. “You’ve always been so quiet though.”
“Les remarked on that once, said it was my strength. I didn’t understand until I caught Krys with a knife in her hand, tears in her beautiful eyes and blood pouring down her wrists.” Katarina sniffled and took Krystyna’s hand in hers.
Nicholaus watched tears fall from Krystyna’s eyes. How he hated himself at this very moment for disappearing on them. His heart wrenched over what he’d done to them. “I’ve been the cause of so much pain. I’m so sorry.” His voice became hoarse. Tears stung the backs of his eyes. “I’ve destroyed what I was supposed to protect. I’m so sorry.” Heated tears ran down his cheeks.
A hand brushed matted hair away from his forehead. “It can be okay, szeretõm. We need you to help us, though.”
“To love us the way we love you.” Krystyna blinked back more tears.
“But what if I cannot give you what you want?” Nicholaus wiped away tears from Krystyna’s eyes. “What if I am not enough?”
“Let us show you what we need, Nicholaus. It’s very simple, really. You’ve given it all along.” Katarina shifted, sitting on her feet.
Nicholaus was treated to a view of her smooth sex. Her arousal filled the air, mixed with Krystyna’s. “Krys, come here.”
Sitting straight, Krystyna moved closer. Crossing and uncrossing her legs, she ran a hand down her belly.
Nicholaus grinned. “I’d very much like you to show me what you need right now, Krystyna.” Turning to face Katarina, he saw her stripping off her shirt.
“We’ll show you just what we want.” She wore nothing but a sensual smile. Rosy nipples peaked from round breasts. Katarina crawled on the bed and began to glow. “We’ll heal your body, szeretõm. Just love our hearts the way ours love yours.”
Nodding, Nicholaus felt his cock grow. It would be a long, slow recovery process indeed.
“I can give you that. I can…I will.” He had no other choice, really. Not if he were honest with himself. Which, would be a first.
He’d let himself buy the lies he’d been told by Kiba and all the others beforehand. Even the occasional human disregarded him for some unknown reason, those feelings never disappeared.
But now, with his lovers in his loft, what was he to do?
The one thing that made sense, natur-fucking-ally. “Krystyna, come here. Please.” He shifted more among more grunts and groans from the pain lacerating his body.
Slowly she made her way into the crook of his arm. Katarina followed suit.
As usual, the feeling of home hit him, overriding the pain in his body. Nicholaus realized for the first time in his life, home wasn’t a place; it was a state of mind. Here, or in Hungary, as long as he had Krystyna and Katarina, he’d be good.
Of course Katarina he'd always counted on. Her natural ability toward healing, toward being outgoing had made things easy when he needed someone. Krystyna told him once that never stopped, not after the rape or abuse, could she be shut down. He only needed to guide her, catch her when she fell and pick her up when she asked.
He could do that. But he’d spent so much time focusing on the one thing guaranteed to screw his head up that he’d missed how fragile Krystyna's mental state had become.
Go back to the pack? Sure. Fuck it. Assume a role he was uncertain about? Fine. If it meant he’d be able to be around them, then yeah. He’d do it. Everything else was up for grabs.
Besides, it’d be nice to belong for once.
He looked into Krystyna's eyes, saw her expression change, the twinkle of hope reappeared. “I love you, Krystyna. Please forgive me.”
Katarina snuggled closer, careful not to disturb his wounds.
Krystyna huddled against him, laying her head on his chest. “I love you too. I’ve needed…”
Carefully, he lifted a hand, pressed two fingers against her lips. “I know. Forever now, you both shall have.”
“We can return to Hungary in a few days with Selene and Józsi if you’d like. I could use a vacation.” Nicholaus sat out on the balcony of his loft, overlooking Central Avenue. Big band swing played on the radio that sat on a table with two other chairs, which were presently occupied.
“I’d like that very much.” Katarina sipped her glass of port.
A loud knock caught Nicholaus’s attention, forcing his glance in the direction of his door. “How the hell do they keep getting past the key card reader?”
Krystyna stood. “That sounds like you have company.”
Krystyna’s sense of hearing had certainly improved since she drank from Nicholaus. “Odd she can hear so well from so far out.”
“Indeed.” Katarina reached across the table and took his hand in hers.
A moment later, Krystyna returned with Józsi and Selene in tow.
“Hi!” Nicholaus nodded at Józsi.
Dressed in black jeans and a form fitting t-shirt, Józsi strutted across the loft with a new confidence. Dark hair hung down over massive shoulders, giving the image of largeness. With his jean jacket shirt slung over one shoulder and other hand in his pocket, he stepped out on the balcony and gestured a greeting. “Cigar?”
He nodded. “Sure. You know where they are.”
Józsi smiled and walked back inside.
Selene slipped out of her long black trench coat and hung it over the chair beside the door. Nicholaus looked at her, licking his lips at just how form fitting her clothes truly were. Her red top matched Katarina’s and hugged her breasts almost as nicely. Marco was a young pup, but damn. The women of this pack were beautiful.
Selene picked up an empty glass and poured herself port. “Hi, Nicholaus. How are you feeling?”
He patted his rib cage. “Much better. My wounds are healing, thanks to the blood rite.”
Sipping her port, she set a hand on Nicholaus’ shoulder. “I figured they would. The blood rite strengthens the body of lupines. It’s also a way to make sure we all find our match.”
Warmth flowed through him from her touch. Nicholaus tilted his head. “Wait a minute, we?”
“Yes.
All the wolves.”
“I thought you weren’t a wolf, Selene.” Katarina’s eyes lit up. “You are one of us?”
Selene looked up at the sky then back at Nicholaus and Katarina.
Józsi came out with two more cigars and handed one to Nicholaus. “She is what?”
“I have lupine blood in me. I don’t know how. I don’t know much about it, but I am linked to all of you through blood. As I’ve said before it’s like you’re all my children. That’s why it’s important for us to find the rest of your mates and restore the pack. There is so much mystery surrounding this pack and its magic. I’m just beginning to understand the texts my great grandmother left us describing the pack’s beginnings and this damnable prophecy.”
“I don’t understand.” Nicholaus took a puff on his cigar. “Can you shift and become a wolf, or is it an illusion?”
Selene took a sip of her port. “I’m not sure. Normally I shift into a purple mist. I’ve never tried actually becoming an object or creature.”
“And what is the power of the blood rite?”
Katarina slapped Nicholaus on the hand. “Nicholaus!”
“No, Katarina. He has a right to ask. It affects him and the rest of the members of this pack. It strengthens the bond between lovers, strengthens the bodies and is an exchange of energy. I am guessing it brings about other gifts too but I haven’t been able to translate my great grandmother’s text books and diaries fully yet. The language is quite archaic. But ultimately it's a form of checks and balances.”
Nicholaus nodded, stroking Katarina’s palm. “Can Les help?”
“That fool?” She laughed. “He wouldn’t help me. He knows I’ll kill him if he makes a move on me, which is what he believes he wants. But even he plays a part in this damn prophecy, though I’m not sure what part that is yet. Somehow he's linked to higher powers.”
Krystyna sat beside Nicholaus and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. “But doesn’t he have a duty to help you?”
Nicholaus reached for her hand and stroked her palm with his fingers.
“Only a moral one. He’s still not tracking properly, not like he used to. Something happened in the time he’d been gone from us and when he returned. No one knows what happened and he won’t say shit so we're all screwed, wondering what’s up. We now know someone in our pack has a direct connection to the Goddess but no one knows why or if it's Les."
“Humph.” Józsi took a long drag on his cigar before looking back at Nicholaus.
Nicholaus read Józsi’s expression.
Selene glared at both males. “Even you two are afraid of Les. Neither of you understand him though your bravado is proper form amongst this pack currently. I do to an extent, but it bothers him that he cannot figure me out. Wherever he was, he saw something. It terrified him.”
“That makes sense.” Krystyna shuddered.
Selene turned to Nicholaus. “Don’t you have a heater out here? The poor girl is cold and her baby could be lost so quickly right now.”
“Her baby?” Everyone but Selene gasped.
“Oh, like you didn’t know, Nicholaus. I’m surprised she was pregnant first, but I can wait for grandchildren from Katarina.”
“Hmph.” Nicholaus turned to Krystyna. “Is it true? Am I going to be a father?”
Krystyna patted her belly. “Come to think of it.”
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! You’re pregnant?” Katarina practically squealed with glee. Her eyes sparkled like the sun reflecting off Lake Balaton, luminous and abundant. “You’re going to be a mommy, Krys!” She shoved her chair back and hugged Krystyna tightly. “I’m going to watch you have children and it’ll be so wonderful and…” Tears streamed down her face now.
Nicholaus didn’t know what to say. Tears fell down his face. He started to speak but lost his voice. He watched Józsi disappear inside and return a moment later with a heater.
“Here, this’ll help.” Józsi plugged the heater in and turned it toward Krystyna.
Now that everyone had become a sobbing mess, Katarina looked up from Krystyna's shoulder, wiping her own eyes.
"You’re going to be such a good father, Nicholaus.”
He stiffened, considering her feelings. “How do you feel about all of this, Krystyna?”
Krystyna sat in silence for a moment. She leaned forward, chin on her hand. “Do you think I’ll be a good mother?”
“The best.” Nicholaus blew out a cloud of smoke. Krystyna had been such a giving lover last night. She’d been so attentive to his needs and Katarina’s that she almost forgot about her own. It didn’t matter though, he’d made sure to return the love with his entire heart and soul. The memory made him smile. “You’ll be just like I always pictured it. Children from both of you will be so beautiful. And they'll help you remain connected.”
He scooted back from his chair and set his cigar in the large porcelain ashtray. He crossed the distance between him and Krystyna and knelt. Staring deep into the blue and silver pools of her eyes, he realized he could get lost in her. He glanced toward Katarina, whose sea green eyes glowed with life.
Katarina put a hand on his shoulder.
Cautious concern filled him. He gazed at Krystyna, lowered his head and kissed her thigh, then looked at her face. “You’re pregnant with my offspring. Are you okay with this?”
Krystyna sniffled. “Of course I am. Our child will help keep you connected too. But you have to—”
“I’m not going anywhere, szeretőm. I’ll be here beside both of you from now on.”
The silver in Krystyna’s eyes sparkled brighter than normal. Her lips curved upwards in a sensual bow. Nicholaus licked his lips. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers, softly at first, then with more pressure.
Her hand snaked around his head, fingers tangled in his long hair.
Nicholaus tasted her sweetness and then pulled back from her, keeping his focus on the roundness of her face, of her beautiful ruby red lips. Her eyes filled with so much emotion, both of his lovers, so emotional for when he was unable to be. The thought made his heart smile, warming him.
Katarina leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.
Nicholaus tilted his head. “You don’t desire me too right now, Katarina?”
Katarina giggled. “Like Krys, I always desire you. But if we start, company will have to leave.”
“I’m just not in the mood for an orgy.” Selene smirked.
Nicholaus shot Selene a dirty look.
Coughing, Krystyna patted Nicholaus on the cheek, sliding a tender hand over his skin. “When did this happen, Selene? When did I get Krystyna pregnant?”
She put her hand to her chin, caressing it slowly. “Probably a few days ago when you three first reunited.” She paused, looked down and then back up before taking a sip of port. “You can stay in Albuquerque for another month or so, Nicholaus. But after that, they’ll both have to come back to Hungary. The babies will need nutrients from their homeland and only near the lake can you find the things she and Katarina will need.”
Katarina looked at Selene. “You mentioned me, Selene. What are you hiding?”
“Silly child.” Selene stuck out her tongue. “You know I can’t give out secrets.”
“Right.” Katarina hugged Krystyna tighter.
Staring up at Krystyna and Katarina, Nicholaus sat on his haunches. “Never again will I leave you, either of you. This I promise.”
Both women smiled. Krystyna stretched out her arms.
Nicholaus went into her embrace and felt the warmth of his lovers for the first time in so long. He let it actually blanket him, shield him from the cold emotionless human world. “This is family,” he muttered, and let himself smile. Truly, smile so large it threatened to reach his ears.
Selene put a hand on Józsi’s shoulder. “By the way, Józsi. You’re next.”
Józsi cocked his head. “Ilona or Lukina?”
“They’ll have to tell you. I promised I wouldn’t say a word.”<
br />
He snapped his fingers in mock anguish. “Francba!” Shit!
Selene laughed. “He has two more days before they come back to the States to meet up with him.”
Katarina looked at him. “Truly though, he is a blessed Alpha.”
“I feel it.” Józsi sipped his port.
Nicholaus shrugged his shoulders. “And you’ll have me as a member of this pack?”
“Of course. I need someone to smoke and drink with.”
“Ahem,” Selene coughed.
“Oh, right.” Józsi frowned. “There’s a bit of pack business we need to attend to. I'm actually helping Lukina go around and find our missing mates and taking an active role in leadership of this mess.”
Nicholaus groaned. His jaw ticked.
“Calm.” Katarina stroked his hand with her fingertips.
Warmth flowed slowly from her to him, rising up his arms and spreading throughout his body, settling the rapidly increasing heartbeat until it slowed to a normal rhythm.
“She’s so amazing,” he smiled, relaxing his shoulders against the chair.
Krystyna shifted her weight and smiled too. “I felt it as well.”
“Your healer is especially powerful, Nicholaus. At least for you two, that much we know. She did incredible work in the villages to the North of Tihany, healing many of the sick and training the newer, younger pack healers.” Selene rocked back against Józsi, the comfort of a pack mate obvious on her face.
Nicholaus wondered just where Selene fit into the hierarchy of the pack in terms of blood. “How is it that you’re a human witch and maintain such a bond with us through blood?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know yet. I’m hoping to find that answer soon.”
“I’m sure it’ll be revealed in time, like everything else.” Józsi sighed. “Nicholaus, I cannot ask you to act as a berserker since we don’t really need a ravenous murderer amongst a pack that’s destined for Heaven,” he scoffed.
“Still don’t believe in it?” Nicholaus settled in his chair, tension flowing from his body into nothingness as he took another drag off his cigar.
“Nope. Not sure any of that crap Kiba told us was real. And obviously we have no elders to ask, either. But after talking with Selene, she thinks it’s a good idea that we show solidarity not just with our mates, but with each other.”
Raining Kisses (The Opeth Pack Saga Book 2) Page 19