True Faith and Allegiance

by Alberto R. Gonzales

  Later, when he returned to the stands and saw me, he waved and was apologetic for not mentioning me. I didn’t give it a second thought.

  A few days later, the president confided in me that First Lady Laura Bush had expressed concerns that the president had not mentioned me at the T-ball game. “Laura said that the reporters would be buzzing because I failed to mention my friend,” he said with a laugh.

  “Oh no; please tell Laura that it was okay,” I said. “It was just a T-ball game. I didn’t expect you to make a big deal about me.”

  The president said, “I know, but Laura brought it up several times throughout the game.”

  The First Lady’s instincts proved correct. The next day, the Washington Post wrote a story expressing the very questions that had troubled the First Lady—implying that the fact that the president had not mentioned me, even though I had been at the game, indicated trouble in paradise.

  Some members of Congress continued to call for my resignation, but both the president and I had made it clear that I was not going to resign over the US attorney firings. Still determined, the Democrats launched a second front. On July 24, 2007, I sat before the Senate Judiciary Committee again as a witness from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.

  This time the Democrats said that I had committed perjury in my previous testimony regarding Stellar Wind. They said that I had intentionally misled them, contending that I had mischaracterized the scope and source of the opposition from DOJ, specifically that of the deputy attorney general, as well as OLC lawyers Jack Goldsmith and Patrick Philbin.

  In this hearing, I discussed for the first time under oath the events surrounding Andy Card’s and my 2004 visit to John Ashcroft’s hospital room. During the four-hour hearing, the senators continued to probe the reasons for the disagreement over the legal basis for the program. Once again, I was guarded about some of my answers because whether they were doing so intentionally or not, certain senators asked questions about parts of the Stellar Wind program that remained classified. I emphasized that the dispute was not over the Terrorist Surveillance Program, or TSP, itself (Basket I content collection of certain international calls), but about “other intelligence activities.”

  The president called later that afternoon and encouraged me. We had a good discussion and he repeated several times, “Hang in there.”

  “I will, sir,” I said. “You hang in there too.”

  Two days later, the House Judiciary Committee called FBI director Bob Mueller to testify about the same intelligence matters. In response to a rather rambling, convoluted question by Texas Democrat Sheila Jackson Lee, the director’s answer seemed to contradict my testimony.

  “I had an understanding that the discussion was on a[n] NSA program,” Mueller said in answer to the question from Representative Lee.

  Asked whether he was referring to TSP, he replied, “The discussion was on a national NSA program that has been much discussed, yes.”1

  The following day under the headline “FBI Chief Gives Account at Odds with Gonzales’s,” the New York Times reported that Mueller’s testimony was a serious blow to me. The director’s testimony immediately raised questions among my critics that perhaps my testimony had not been accurate. Apparently that was exactly what the Senate Judiciary Committee was hoping to hear. They renewed their efforts to force my resignation, and Democratic senators Russell Feingold, Dianne Feinstein, Charles Schumer, and Sheldon Whitehouse sent a letter to Paul Clement, the solicitor general, asking him to appoint a special counsel to investigate whether I had committed perjury in my testimony about the surveillance programs. At best, it reflected a basic misunderstanding because of their ignorance of classified activities. At worst, it was more political grandstanding and chicanery.

  Because Mueller’s nebulous testimony raised questions anew, DOJ spokesperson Brian Roehrkasse issued a statement that same night stating that I had indeed testified truthfully. He emphasized, “Confusion is inevitable when complicated classified activities are discussed in a public forum where the greatest care must be used not to compromise sensitive intelligence operations.”2

  He further stated, “The disagreement that occurred in March 2004 concerned the legal basis for intelligence activities that have not been publicly disclosed and that remain highly classified.”3

  To counteract the charges by the senators, I attempted to get a letter from Mike Hayden, former NSA director and now director of the CIA, explaining why my statements about the NSA surveillance program were accurate without revealing the still classified details. Mike was out on vacation, so the director of national intelligence, Mike McConnell, confirmed that the president had indeed authorized multiple activities, not simply the content selection under Stellar Wind. Neither McConnell nor I had the authority to disclose that the disagreement that had occurred in March 2004 concerned the collection of certain metadata.

  I also wrote a similar letter to Congress, approved by Steve Bradbury at OLC, and we had the letter cleared by Mueller and his general counsel for accuracy. We didn’t want to be blindsided again by the FBI director. Not surprisingly, those clarifications never gained traction in Congress or in the media.

  On August 4, 2007, the House passed the FISA Modernization Act, making surveillance even more expansive than it had been in 2004 when it had been so disputed. Based on the new act, we could now pursue surveillance of a broad spectrum of terrorist organizations. I had wanted to be actively involved in pushing the legislation to modernize FISA, since that was the key law governing the collection of electronic surveillance, but because of the controversies surrounding me, I was not as effective as I had hoped to be.

  I was scheduled to leave at 11:00 p.m. for my third trip to Iraq on August 9 to visit with DOJ personnel working with the Iraqis, helping them solidify their new government. Before leaving, I certified the new FISA authorities so the DOJ could begin using them. Mike McConnell signed them as well. By then, the personnel and hiring issues at DOJ that had fueled the public criticism and prompted congressional hearings contending that I had politicized the department had been addressed. I selected Craig Moreford, a well-respected career prosecutor, as acting deputy attorney general, and life was getting back to normal.

  I went on to Iraq and met with General David Petraeus and other military leaders about the challenges the Iraqi leaders had to overcome as they attempted to set up their fledgling government. We had Department of Justice personnel there, so I went to encourage them to continue working with Iraqi leaders to develop a constitution and establish the rule of law. The last time I traveled to Iraq, I was able to visit briefly with my nephew Anthony, who was serving with our troops outside of Baghdad. Seeing him and his commitment to liberate Iraq and help keep Americans safe touched me deeply. I returned from Iraq tired, but inspired.

  After visiting with our dedicated troops working for the cause of freedom under extremely difficult and dangerous circumstances, I thought, If the president wants me to keep fighting, I can do nothing else. What I didn’t know, however, was that others in the White House had different views.

  CHAPTER 38

  GOD MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

  Shortly before 1:00 p.m on August 24, 2007, one of my security agents received a phone call from Josh Bolten, requesting to speak to me. I knew immediately that something important was up, otherwise the president’s chief of staff would not be calling me during the last few hours of my weeklong family vacation. We were in Austin, Texas, shutting down the rental house where we were staying, packing up, and getting ready to head to the airport to fly back to Washington, DC. Whatever it was that Josh wanted to talk to me about was important enough that it couldn’t wait a couple of hours until we were back in our nation’s capital.

  I was riding alone in the FBI Suburban when I picked up the phone. Josh conveyed the gravity of his call through his tone of voice. “Al, we’ve had serious conversations about you here at the White House; we’re worried about you, and we think this might be the time for you to resi
gn.”

  At first, I couldn’t believe what Josh was saying. I had stayed on the job at the president’s request. I had endured months of demeaning and debilitating attacks, but I had survived. Beyond that, I’d been at DEFCON 1 for so long, thoughts of disarming were foreign to me. The soldier in me instinctively was ready to fight on.

  Josh was still talking, but I only half heard him. “The controversy over the US attorney firings and the allegations from some members of Congress that you intentionally misled them about the NSA surveillance program make it difficult for you to continue to serve the Department of Justice and meet the president’s law enforcement priorities.”

  I could hear the tension in Josh’s voice as he struggled to explain the reason for his call and how difficult the conversations had been with our friends in the White House. Josh was a friend, and shortly after he had become chief of staff, I had told him that because of my friendship with the president, there might come a day when he would need the courage and strength to tell me it was time to go. Apparently that day had come.

  “Is the president aware of this call?” I asked, although I knew the answer to my question before I voiced it.

  Josh responded with little hesitation, “Yes.”

  I knew what that meant.

  I had served in the White House for four years and almost three years at Justice. I knew how things worked at the White House. Josh would not be making this call if the matter had not already been hashed out and if the decision had not already been made; it was a done deal with the president.

  I hung up with Josh and immediately put in a call to the president who was at home on his ranch in Crawford, Texas. I then returned to the rental house to continue packing while I awaited his return call.

  I told Becky that I had received a call from Josh. Seeing the look on her face, I guessed that she instantly comprehended this was no ordinary call. Becky had been urging me for months to step down. She knew that I wanted to finish out the term, if possible, so she held her tongue about leaving sooner. She never said the words, “I want us to leave now.” The congressional allegations of wrongdoing and the continual flood of media stories speculating about my resignation pummeled my reputation and made life in Washington almost unbearable for her. Nevertheless, I had refused to quit when I knew I had done nothing wrong and while the president encouraged me to stay and fight, so she had stood strong with me.

  Along with our FBI security detail, we loaded our suitcases and other belongings into the SUVs and headed toward the airport. I told the lead agent to put the president through to me the moment he called.

  As soon as President Bush came on the phone, I directed the agents to pull over into a parking lot just off Highway 71, a short distance from the airport. I instructed the FBI detail to take our sons Graham and Gabriel out of the vehicle while the president was on the phone.

  President Bush got straight to the point, letting me know that it was time for me to step down, yet he seemed more concerned about me. “This is what I want for you,” he said.

  Just hearing him say those words, I felt the heavy burden lift off my shoulders. In many ways, and for many reasons, I felt relief. Yet with Becky at my side, I also felt sadness as I talked with our friend. From the time I first went to work for George W. Bush, he always had treated me well. Although he did not have to do so, he had watched out for me, and he seemed to be doing so even now. On this call, unlike so many others we had shared previously, there were no words of encouragement about my continued service, no admonitions to “Hang in there, Fredo,” no urging me to stay and fight.

  “The Democrats are after you,” he said. “They want to bring criminal charges against you, trying this perjury charge again. I do not want to see that happen.”

  I didn’t challenge what he was saying. I didn’t ask him to reconsider. I well understood that I, too, served at the pleasure of the president and for the benefit of his presidency and the good of our nation. If he felt it was time for me to go, that was all that mattered. The decision was irrevocable; the die had been cast.

  Certainly, had he given me a choice, I would have chosen to remain at the helm of the Justice Department until the president completed his term of office. Even after all the abuse, I could leave the office with my head held high, knowing that I had served our country to the best of my ability. Besides, I had been so beaten up for so long, there was little more the opposition could do to me. I would have gladly stayed on and served.

  But he didn’t offer me that choice, and I knew better than to ask for special favors or reconsideration of his decision. Once President Bush reached a decision point, his mind was made up.

  “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve,” I said sincerely. “I’ll call Josh back and work out the details.” It was one of the most emotional calls of my entire life—a candid conversation between two friends who had endured so much together.

  The president then talked with Becky for a few minutes, offering her comfort and assurance through her tears that all would be well. We said good-bye to my boss and looked at each other, a bit shell-shocked. After thirteen years of riding the George W. Bush roller coaster, we had come to an abrupt, screeching halt. The ride was over.

  We gathered our children to us. The guys in the security detail may have suspected what was happening, because rather than teasing with the boys, as they were sometimes prone to do, they continued in somber silence the rest of the way to the airport.

  As we pulled up to the Signature Terminal, Becky and I looked at each other and smiled. This was where it had all begun for us that night so long ago, back before the 2000 presidential election, when we had stood at this same terminal and welcomed home then governor George W. Bush as he returned from his last campaign stop before the election. Surrounded by thousands of friends and supporters that night, we basked in the joy and optimism of anticipating a remarkable journey ahead. And it had been that—an incredible trip, more amazing than a boy from Humble could have ever dreamed.

  Now we were back at the airport, relatively alone. Firmly believing that God had directed my steps from childhood to the US attorney general’s office, I had witnessed and been part of American history. Like many who participated in such monumental moments, I had endured public persecution while attempting to maintain high standards of integrity within government. With my faith sorely tried, my reputation smeared in the media, my family under stress, and controversy swirling all around me, my wife and I realized we had come full circle figuratively and geographically. Becky saw the irony clearly. She mused aloud, “God must have a sense of humor.”

  We arrived back in Washington late that afternoon and attempted to pretend that everything was normal. In follow-up conversations with Josh, I decided to announce my resignation on Monday, August 27, but not actually leave office until September 17, so we could have an orderly transition.

  The president indicated that he wanted to see me before I announced my resignation, so on August 26, Becky and I flew to Crawford to have a private lunch and spend some time alone with the president and Mrs. Bush. It felt bittersweet as we boarded the government jet; this would be my last trip to Crawford, Texas, as a member of the Bush administration.

  It was a perfect, blue-sky day when we landed back in Texas. The president and Mrs. Bush greeted us with smiles and hugs when we arrived at their ranch. They were both dressed casually, the president wearing blue jeans and cowboy boots.

  “Is this going to be a funeral or a celebration?” Bush asked as he hugged Becky and me. We all laughed.

  “A celebration,” I responded.

  But even as I said the words, a profound sadness enveloped me. I felt like I had failed. I had been fighting for so long, at war with critics and fending off their attacks, that it was hard to put down my shield, hard to accept that this dream was over.

  Mrs. Bush and Becky went inside, and the president and I sat on the front porch to talk alone for a few minutes.

  “I always believed we
could ride out the controversy,” he began. “I really thought we could survive this. But two things hurt you. One was Comey’s testimony about the surveillance program, and his version of you and Andy visiting Ashcroft in the hospital, and the other was Mueller’s testimony.” Comey had convinced certain senators that Andy and I had tried to take advantage of General Ashcroft when he was sick, all for a nefarious purpose. Mueller’s answer convinced my critics in Congress that I had intentionally misled them about the disagreement between the White House and the leaders in the Department of Justice over Stellar Wind. People respected Mueller, so when word got out that Mueller’s testimony seemed to contradict mine, it was a mountain too high to climb.

  As we talked through the ridiculous set of events, the president shook his head as though irritated or frustrated, or perhaps in disbelief. But none of that mattered at that point. It was over.

  He and I joined our wives inside. The president and Laura were so gracious and encouraging to Becky and me; he offered several times to help us, and repeatedly reassured us about the future. Then Laura, Becky, the president, and I climbed into the president’s pickup truck and he drove us around the sprawling property, giving us a tour of the ranch. The Bush ranch at Crawford has both areas of rugged landscape and untamed brush, as well as beautiful patches of wildflowers and serene streams. The natural scenes reminded me in many ways of our hosts. The president enjoyed pointing out various trees and wildflowers as he drove, and we enjoyed listening to him.

  After the tour, we sat down to lunch in their beautiful ranch home, followed by one of the Bush family’s favorite activities—working on a complex wooden jigsaw puzzle. We sat in the large, open living room, talking casually about a range of issues—everything from baseball to immigration to Iraq. Occasionally, the president punctuated a sentence with a statement about my loyalty. “I know you stayed on and fought because of my spoken and unspoken encouragement,” he said. “Like friends who communicate without talking.”