True Faith and Allegiance

by Alberto R. Gonzales

  Although Becky and I really wanted to get our family back to Texas, I spoke with several prestigious DC law firms, but they, too, regarded me as damaged goods. “It’s not the right fit; it’s not the right time,” they said.

  Fickle friends fled but true friends stayed close to Becky and me. Don and Joyce Rumsfeld, for example, stayed in touch with us and continued to encourage us. They had been through two Bush administrations, and knew how quickly people tended to forget their “friends” and move on in their relationships.

  David Leitch and his wife, Ellen, and Tim Flanigan and his wife, Katie, stuck by us and never gave up trying to help. Clay and Anne Johnson and Alphonso and Marcia Jackson continued to encourage us, as did Jim and Sharla Thompson and Larry and Heidi Dreyfuss. Kerry Cammack and Harriet O’Neill as well as Bill and Mary Sweeney, longtime Texas friends, went the extra mile to help Becky and me. Several people (including a prominent Dallas businessman who I didn’t even know) offered us money when Becky and I were struggling to make ends meet financially. Throughout that period, God surrounded us with good people who cared about us for who we were, not for what we could do for them.

  Our pastor at the Falls Church, John Yates, invited me to join a small group of men from our church who met weekly to study the Bible and to simply encourage one another. The group was comprised of a couple of businessmen and a few former government officials. At first, I was reluctant to accept the invitation, but eventually I said yes. The group turned out to be a lifesaver for me, a safe place where I didn’t have to be the former attorney general; I could just be Al, one of the guys trying to grapple with the pressures of life and finding spiritual strength for each new day. We didn’t pretend to be Bible scholars, but each week, John Yates would ask us to identify key passages in the Bible, and then we would talk about how they applied to our situations.

  Our pastor and friends from church remained constant sources of spiritual support, encouraging me to keep trusting God to bring good out of the difficult situations with which I was dealing. I found my faith in God returning even more robustly. Of course, I sometimes wondered, Why, God? Why have these things happened? I was trying to serve You by serving our country. I tried to do the right things. Why, why, why? Some of the opposition I experienced still made no sense to me, but I accepted the truth that God used it all—even the ugly, hurtful things—for good in my life. I realized that in the midst of the rancorous rhetoric hurled at me and about me, the realities of my faith were refined by fire. Though sorely tested, the verities and values I believed still stood strong, despite intense pressures to fold. God had never left me or forsaken me; indeed, He had been there all the time.

  Ever gracious, in late October 2007, the president and Mrs. Bush hosted a small farewell gathering for Becky and me, to which they encouraged us to invite four other couples to join them for a private dinner in the residence. Having lived in Washington since 2001, Becky and I had numerous people we might have invited, but we chose Tim and Katie Flanigan, who had been there from the beginning with us; Kevin and Kathleen O’Connor, because Kevin had played such a key role helping me through the US attorney controversy; my former deputy in the White House counsel’s office, David Leitch and his wife, Ellen; and Jim and Sharla Thompson, from Houston. Jim was a lawyer at Vinson & Elkins.

  It was a memorable evening with the president and Mrs. Bush in their home. The conversation was lighthearted, relaxed, and wide-ranging, covering the gamut from baseball to life in the White House. We talked about anything but government business or politics. There were no speeches, toasts, or tributes offered, although throughout the evening, the president said numerous kind things about me, comments that were even more meaningful in front of the lawyers with whom I had worked. We were grateful for the kindness and love shown to us that night.

  Mrs. Bush led a tour of the private quarters, giving us an intimate feel for their lives within the White House. She had just returned from the Middle East, so she retired earlier than the president, who gathered our group in the Oval Office for more conversation and insight. Although I had met with him countless times in his office, I was nonetheless fascinated as he regaled our friends with details about the décor of the room, everything from the portraits on the wall to why he chose the yellow carpet—for optimism. The entire evening was truly meaningful and memorable.

  For months, I searched for a regular, full-time legal job. We had no steady income, but all the same expenses, so I accepted some corporate mediation work, hired on as a legal mediator in a complicated patent case in Texas. I did some other mediations in cases around the country. I also struck a deal with Greater Talent Network, a first-rate speakers bureau, and accepted some paid speeches—and that’s how we survived financially for nearly two years after leaving the administration. During the down time, I often rode my bike along the Potomac River. Now I rode alone—without a security detail—and I was content with that, just me and my thoughts.

  It was a humbling period, but looking back, I now see it as a time of reflection and growth. Moreover, I needed that time for the wounds to heal.

  Although I rarely spoke with President Bush while we remained in Washington, Becky and I received an invitation to the White House senior staff Christmas party in 2008. The senior staff party had been one of our favorite activities when I had served in the White House. It was an intimate dinner party with a small group that included senior staff members, spouses, and guests, and I was surprised to even receive the invitation, since I was no longer part of the administration. When we walked into the East Room of the White House, I received another surprise to find that I was seated at the president’s table.

  I sat next to Fran Townsend, the president’s Homeland Security advisor, a woman of grace and strength. At some point during the evening, Fran and I were talking about the past and my future plans when she said something that revealed a great deal to me about President Bush. She said, “You know, Al, during those times when you were getting killed in the press, when we’d meet at Camp David, the president would agonize over you.” I appreciated Fran telling me that, and it raised my appreciation and affection for the president even higher. He cared for all his friends and for his staff.

  In another gesture of kindness, President Bush invited me to join him and Mrs. Bush along with his father and mother, and several other Texas Bushies, including Karl Rove, Dan Bartlett, Margaret Spellings, Clay Johnson, Don Evans, Karen Hughes, and Alphonso Jackson, for their return home to Texas. On January 20, 2009, after an emotional farewell ceremony at Andrews Air Force Base, the former president and Mrs. Bush boarded Air Force One, designated for the trip as “Special Air Mission 28000,” and we flew together across the country. Along the way, I thought about my first flight to DC, during the presidential transition in 2000. We had traveled so far since then. There were a few tears, but most people on board celebrated a job well done.

  Late that afternoon, we landed at Midland and attended an emotional and boisterous rally at Centennial Plaza. Repeatedly, former president Bush expressed his heartfelt thanks to his supporters: “I could not have done this without you.”

  Afterward, we visited the president’s boyhood home, and later had one last intimate dinner with staff members and spouses. It was a bittersweet farewell, and the following morning, I flew back to Washington.

  A short time later, I was at Texas Tech University in Lubbock to speak at a Hispanic event. The chancellor’s chief of staff was Jodey Arrington, who had worked with Bush in the governor’s office in Austin and also in Washington. While in Lubbock, I talked with Jodey and said, “I’d really like to get back to Texas. Do you think Tech would be interested in having me to teach?”

  Jodey talked with Chancellor Kent Hance, the only person who had ever defeated George W. Bush in an election, for a seat in Congress. Kent not only wanted me to come, I was given an opportunity to work with the Office of Institutional Diversity to help recruit and retain Hispanic students, and to teach a political science class. Kent p
rivately expressed high hopes that I could become dean of the law school at Tech.

  I appreciated Kent being willing to take a chance on me. I had been an adjunct professor earlier in my career, and I loved teaching. He hired me to begin on August 1, 2009, but I didn’t exactly receive a hero’s welcome. In late July, more than forty of Tech’s current and former faculty members signed a petition opposing my being hired at Tech, some for political reasons, others because they felt it was inappropriate for the chancellor to be hiring faculty. Regardless, it was an awkward first day on the job, but things soon calmed down.

  To accept the job at Texas Tech, of course, required a move to Lubbock, a small city of about 300,000 residents in West Texas. To some people, Lubbock may not seem like their dream destination in which to relocate. For our family, however, Lubbock was the Lord’s ideal place for us to decompress after Washington; it was a great place to raise our younger boys, a small, safe city where we could catch our breath and regroup.

  Nevertheless, it was a bit of a shock to our systems after living in the Washington, DC, area for more than seven years. At first, Graham and Gabriel were not happy about moving from Langley High School in McLean, Virginia, one of the wealthiest public schools in the nation, to a blue-collar, diverse, and relatively poor school in Texas. Graham especially hated it at first since it was his junior year. Gabriel was a freshman. Speaking of our time in DC, I told our boys, “Don’t be sad that it is over; be glad that it happened.” The next adventure was ready to start.

  Worse, since we hadn’t yet sold our home outside DC, Becky remained behind in Virginia with our dog, Sasha, while Graham, Gabriel, and I relocated to Texas so the boys and I could begin school on time. We lived initially in an apartment, and I spent a lot of time with my sons during those first six months, fully appreciating what wonderful young men they were becoming. Jared, Graham, and Gabriel all give us such great joy. The Texas transition was difficult and for the first few weeks, Graham and Gabriel were unhappy, but they grew to love Lubbock. When we moved from Lubbock to Nashville a few years later, the boys didn’t want to leave.

  On the first day of school at Texas Tech, I received a phone call from former president Bush. “Hey, professor, how are you doing?” he asked. It was good to hear his voice. I had not talked with him regularly after leaving Washington, so I was surprised that he even knew that I had taken the teaching job.

  I didn’t really know if the president was aware of my activities until a few years later. On November 16, 2012, Becky and I attended the ground breaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Center on the campus of Southern Methodist University near Dallas. While there, I spent some time with Tobi Evans, President Bush’s general counsel at the Bush Foundation. Tobi is married to Evan Young, a lawyer who served as one of my special assistants at the DOJ. Speaking to Becky and me, Tobi said, “The president reads everything he sees about you, Judge. Anything that is reported about you, he reads. He knows what you’re doing.” How typical that he would keep up with those who had served with him.

  Because of the controversies surrounding my government service, the law faculty at Tech were opposed to my becoming the dean of the law school. So I continued working with Kent Hance and Juan Muñoz, a talented educator, and taught a few political science courses.

  The hearty people of Lubbock, however, embraced our family and made us feel welcome and respected, a nice change after the final years in Washington. One day, the boys and I were having dinner in a local Lubbock restaurant when I noticed a stout man staring at us. After a few moments, the man got up and came over to our table.

  “Are you Alberto Gonzales?” he asked.

  “Yes, sir, I am,” I responded a bit cautiously.

  “I thought so,” the man said. He extended his hand in my direction. “I just want to thank you for your service to our country.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I replied as I shook his hand. “We did our best.”

  I’ve never been much for self-promotion. I didn’t expect pats on the back; nor did I expect everyone to agree with the many tough decisions we had to make during the Bush administration. But if someone can appreciate the sacrifices we made and accept the truth that we were honestly trying to do our best, that’s good enough for me.

  When our son Graham began looking at colleges, one of the schools on his list was Belmont University, a small, Christian-oriented university in Nashville. I made a trip with Graham to Nashville and visited the campus, a beautiful, stately academic environment just off Nashville’s famous Music Row. We were impressed with the school and the city.

  Shortly after our visit, Jeff Kinsler, the founding dean of the new Belmont University College of Law contacted me and asked if I’d be interested in teaching. At the time, I was content in Texas, but Belmont connected me with some law firms that might be interested in hiring me. One of those was Waller Lansden Dortch & Davis, one of the most established and prestigious law firms in the Southeast. Being able to educate Graham and Gabriel at Belmont, while teaching at the law school and working at Waller, made the decision to move to Nashville quite easy.

  My arrival on the Belmont campus, however, produced much the same response as when I first showed up at Texas Tech, with a number of faculty members writing to the president of the university voicing concerns. Others more overtly protested my hiring due to my past associations with the Bush administration. I also had a few protesters show up in my classroom early in the semester, yelling about torture and Gitmo. Many of the protestors were not enrolled at Belmont, so one of my older students stood up and railed at them, “We paid for this education; you need to leave!”

  After the police ushered the protesters out of the building, I whimsically told my class, “These guys are amateurs. I’ve been protested by the best, and these guys are slouches. This is nothing. If you want to pursue a career in government, get used to it.”

  My students laughed and appreciated my keeping a sense of humor about it. The protests died down quickly, and I enjoyed being at Belmont, eventually teaching classes in constitutional law, separation of powers, First Amendment law, and national security law. One of the benefits of teaching has been the opportunity for my students to discover the dichotomy between the narrative of “Al Gonzales as portrayed by the media” and who I am as a person. One of my students summed it up succinctly at the end of the first semester: “You’re nothing like what I thought you would be.” I think that was supposed to be a compliment.

  In June 2014, I was named dean of the school. Because the American Bar Association requires law school deans to be full-time, I had to sever my ties with Waller, but the decision proved worthwhile for me and the law school.

  Becky decided to return to college and finish her degree, which she did. She graduated from Belmont in the spring of 2015, and then graduated from the University of Tennessee with her master’s degree in the spring of 2016. Graham graduated from Belmont in December 2015, and Gabriel is on track to graduate from Belmont in 2017.

  Our fledgling law program quickly caught up with its competitors. In 2015, our law school graduates earned the highest bar passage rate (94 percent) in Tennessee for first-time test takers at ABA accredited schools. Our job placement rate for our first two graduating classes has been equally impressive, given our relatively small alumni base. On the strength of our strong record, the law school received full ABA approval in 2016. We are off to a good start, but much work remains.

  While fully committed to the work of the law school, I give speeches across the country and often write columns and do media interviews about current events. Today, I am often asked about my views on America and whether my time in Texas and Washington was worth it. I am quick to say yes, but the total story has yet to be told.

  History, I believe, will reveal the great accomplishments of our efforts, not the least of which was keeping the American people safe by preventing terrorist attacks. Will there be more attacks on American soil? I believe the correct question is not if there will be
future attacks, but when. But I am thankful to say they did not happen on our watch, and I am hopeful future presidents will discover, as President Obama did, that the Bush policies were necessary to retain and effective in helping to safeguard our nation.

  Beyond the threat of terrorism, I have serious concerns regarding the direction of our country. First, I believe in the significance, both from a biblical and a national security perspective, of our relationship with Israel. It pains me to see the deterioration of the friendship with our ally, and our cozying up to Iran, who has sworn to destroy Israel and considers the United States “the great Satan.”

  Second, I am dismayed at the assault on the Christian church and our religious liberties. The rhetoric today may be for neutrality, but in reality, the goal appears to be something more sinister, such as the elimination of religion from our national discourse. Opponents of religion expect unequivocal tolerance from Christians on virtually all matters, yet many are intolerant of our religious beliefs. While I understand our government’s position regarding the separation of church and state, and I am willing to be persecuted for my belief in Jesus, I fear we are witnessing the systematic elimination of religion in America, specifically Christianity.

  Third, I believe in the importance of families, and I worry about the deterioration of the family unit. I believe it is critical for a mom and a dad to be a loving and consistent presence in the lives of their children. I wish it were within my power to make all parents love and provide for their children, and teach them values regarding right and wrong, and personal responsibility.

  Fourth, I believe in education; it represented freedom for me. I know that not everyone is able to afford college, nor is it a good fit for everyone. Certainly we need skilled individuals who can build, invent, and manufacture products. The key is for each person to find work in which he or she can be productive. Historically, that has been the American way, and the American Dream can still be achieved with education.