Girl Alone: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control.

by Cathy Glass

  ‘No, of course not,’ Joss said, spinning round again to face me. ‘That’s not –’ She stopped, realizing the connection.

  ‘Exactly. That wouldn’t have been right, would it? To take money from Kevin. But you felt it was OK to take money from Paula and Lucy. Joss, everyone in this house treats you like family and trusts you. As I hope you do us. Families have to trust each other in order to function. You wouldn’t dream of stealing from Kevin, but it’s equally wrong to steal from Paula, Lucy, Adrian or me. If your mother allowed you to take money without asking her then that was her decision. I don’t agree with it, and you don’t do it here. Adrian, Paula and Lucy always ask me if they need to borrow money and I expect you to do the same. Do you understand?’

  She nodded in a desultory, half-hearted way.

  ‘I hope you do, Joss. Now, we’ll start with the money you’ve taken from me today – six pounds. I’d like it back, please.’ I knew she must still have it, as she hadn’t left the house.

  Joss hesitated and then went to the chest of drawers, opened the middle one, delved under some clothes and pulled out the five-pound note and one-pound coin. She closed the drawer and handed me the money.

  ‘Thank you. Do you have Paula’s and Lucy’s money in there too?’

  ‘No. I spent it.’ Which I thought seemed very likely, as the money had probably been taken during the week.

  ‘So how do you think you can best pay it back?’ I asked.

  ‘Stop it out of my allowance,’ Joss said. ‘That’s what Mum did.’

  I didn’t point out that she’d just told me her mother didn’t mind her taking money from her purse. ‘That’s acceptable,’ I said. ‘I’ll stop one pound a week from your allowance until it’s all paid back. But Joss, why are you stealing? You always have at least half your allowance and you usually earn back the rest through good behaviour. I buy all your clothes, toiletries and everything else you need. And you told me Zach’s very generous and always pays for you when you’re out with him. You don’t need to steal.’

  ‘Zach doesn’t pay when it’s just Chelsea and me out together,’ Joss said as though that justified it. ‘And Chelsea’s dad is always broke, so he doesn’t give her any money.’

  ‘It’s greed then, Joss,’ I said. ‘We all have to budget, so choose an activity that doesn’t cost money. I’ve told you before you can always invite a friend here. That would be a low-cost evening. But alcohol, cigarettes and whatever else you may be smoking cost a lot of money, don’t they? As well as being very bad for your health.’ I wondered how many times I would have to say this before I finally got through to Joss.

  ‘I know,’ she agreed too easily, and I sighed inwardly.

  I thought I would try to shame her to make her see sense. ‘Joss, money has other uses apart from spending it on ourselves. Lucy saves a lot of her allowance. She likes to buy birthday and Christmas presents for friends and family. She’s very generous – too generous, sometimes. She still sees her birth mother a couple of times a year and she always gives her a present, even when it’s not her birthday. That’s why she was saving up – to give her mother a nice present – and you’ve taken that from her.’ I stopped and waited.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

  ‘I hope you are, Joss, because you can’t go on like this.’

  ‘What will you do?’ she asked. ‘Send me away like the others did.’

  ‘No. Absolutely not. But if you continue like this, the decision on where you live will be made for us. And we both know where that will be.’ I paused to let the message sink in. Whether it did or not, I couldn’t tell, but I’d said what I wanted to for now, so it was time to move on.

  ‘OK, Joss, come downstairs when you’re ready. I thought we’d all go out somewhere later and I’m not spoiling it for the others by not going.’

  She didn’t reply, so I left her room and went downstairs. I knew part of Joss’s challenging behaviour was to test my commitment to her – hence her comment about sending her away – but there was more to it than that. Until she addressed the demons from her past that haunted her, there was little more I could do, other than support and guide her in the hope that eventually there would be a breakthrough – but it needed to come soon.

  I told Lucy and Paula that the matter of the missing money had been sorted and left it at that. There was then a discussion on where we should go and everyone agreed on ice skating. Joss had been a few times before with her mother and brother, but that had been some years ago. However, she quickly proved a proficient and fearless skater. While the rest of us went round at a steady, slightly tentative pace – me especially – Joss whizzed round, overtaking other skaters with the same reckless determination with which she approached life in general. When she fell, which she did a couple of times, she picked herself up, brushed herself down and continued undaunted. It was a fun afternoon, and I was pleased Joss had been able to enjoy it with us. All the bad feeling about the missing money had gone, and of course the outing hadn’t cost Joss a penny, as I always paid for everyone when we were out together as a family.

  On Monday Joss stopped by her home on the way back from school – to see her mum and Kevin, and also check that her mother was coming to the review on Wednesday and wouldn’t be bringing Eric. Her mother told her Eric would be looking after Kevin while she attended the review, so that was all right. That evening and Tuesday evening Joss was only ten minutes late back after going out, but came in sucking a mint. I again expressed my concern that she’d been drinking and smoking.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘Zach and Carl were with us the whole evening and brought me home in the car.’ How that made it all right I didn’t know!

  On Tuesday, during the day, Jill and Amelia had both telephoned for updates on how Joss was doing in preparation for the review the following day. We were on the phone for quite a long time and although I always tried to be positive in what I said about Joss, it was proving more and more difficult. ‘We had a nice day on Sunday,’ I said. ‘And she’s doing homework most days.’

  To her credit, though, Joss came straight home from school on Wednesday, as I’d told her to, so we were able to start her review on time – at 4.30 p.m. Amelia, Jill, Linda, Miss Pryce, Joss, the independent reviewing officer – Mark – and I were all in the living room, while Adrian, Lucy, Paula and Toscha amused themselves elsewhere in the house. My family were used to meetings connected with fostering taking place in the house and knew they weren’t to disturb us unless there was an emergency.

  Mark, the IRO who was also chairing and minuting the review, thanked us all for coming and then officially opened the meeting by asking us to introduce ourselves, which is usual practice. We went round one at a time, stating our names and our role in Joss’s life, while Mark made a note of who was present. When it was Joss’s turn she was only a little self-conscious, having attended previous reviews, and said clearly, ‘Joss, foster child.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Mark said with a reassuring smile. Then he asked Amelia if we were expecting anyone else at the review and she confirmed we were not. Mark, who would be an experienced social worker, was in his late forties, smartly but casually dressed and had a quietly confident manner. Having met Joss at her previous reviews, he said he was pleased to see her and her mother again. Linda and Joss were sitting next to each other on the sofa and Linda returned a polite smile.

  ‘So, Joss,’ Mark now said, looking at her, ‘perhaps you’d like to start by telling us how you’re settling in here.’

  ‘It’s OK,’ Joss said, with a small shrug.

  ‘Cathy’s children are a similar age to you. How is that working out?’ Mark asked her.

  ‘OK.’ Joss said.

  ‘So you are all getting along and talking to each other?’

  ‘Yes,’ Joss said.

  I’ve found before at reviews that children who usually have plenty to say can become self-conscious and lost for words in the formality of a review, when all eyes are on them.

&
nbsp; ‘And what do you like to do in your spare time?’ Mark now asked Joss.

  ‘Go out,’ Joss said.

  ‘And when you’re not out, what do you do when you’re in – with Cathy and her family, in the evening, for example?’

  ‘My homework,’ Joss said.

  ‘Anything else?’

  ‘Listen to music, watch television and talk to Lucy and Paula.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Mark said and made a note. ‘So you are all getting on?’

  Joss nodded.

  ‘And are you receiving your allowance?’ As the IRO, Mark would have a checklist of points he needed to cover in the review.

  ‘Sometimes,’ Joss said.

  ‘Why only sometimes?’ Mark queried.

  ‘Cathy stops my money if I’m very late home or I swear,’ Joss said.

  ‘Quite right,’ Linda put in.

  ‘Joss usually earns back the money,’ I clarified. ‘The little she doesn’t earn back I save for her. I’ve kept a record.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Mark said, making another note. Then to Joss: ‘And how is school going? Miss Pryce will give us a report later, but how do you feel you’re doing at school? You were having some problems before.’ He would know this from Joss’s last review.

  ‘School’s OK,’ Joss said with a shrug.

  ‘Joss is in detention a lot,’ Linda said.

  ‘What for?’ Mark asked.

  ‘Lateness,’ Linda said.

  ‘So you arrive late for school in the morning?’ Mark asked Joss.

  Joss nodded but looked away.

  ‘She leaves home in plenty of time,’ I said. ‘But doesn’t always go straight to school. I’ve offered to take her in my car, but she doesn’t want that. I also understand that she’s late back after lunch, although she doesn’t come home.’ I needed to state the reasons for Joss’s lateness, otherwise it would reflect badly on me – as if I were allowing her to regularly leave the house late.

  ‘It’s worse than you told me,’ Linda said, turning to her daughter.

  Joss shrugged and kept her gaze down.

  ‘I’m assuming you’ll cover this later?’ Mark said to Miss Pryce.

  ‘Yes, I can do,’ she confirmed.

  ‘So tell us what is going right for you at school,’ Mark now asked Joss.

  Joss was silent and then shrugged. ‘Dunno.’

  ‘She’s doing her homework regularly,’ I said. ‘An hour most evenings, so she’s catching up.’

  ‘Well, that’s a great improvement,’ Mark said to Joss. ‘Well done. Whose idea was that?’

  ‘Cathy’s,’ Joss said a little moodily and finally looking up. ‘I have to do it before I’m allowed out.’

  Mark threw me an approving look. ‘It sounds a good routine to me, and Miss Pryce will no doubt tell us more later. Have you given any more thought to the offer of counselling?’ Mark now asked Joss, moving on.

  ‘I don’t want it,’ Joss said.

  ‘All right. You know you can tell your social worker if you change your mind.’

  Joss nodded and Mark wrote. Jill and Amelia also had notepads open on their laps and were taking notes.

  ‘Is there anything else you want to tell this review before we move on and hear from your mother?’ Mark asked Joss.

  ‘No,’ Joss said.

  ‘Well, if you think of anything or have any questions, tell me as we go. This is your review, so your opinion is very important. All right?’

  Joss nodded.

  Mark now looked at Linda. ‘After Joss, you are the next most important person in this meeting,’ he said. ‘Joss is in care under a Section 20 – or accommodated, as we sometimes call it – so you maintain parental responsibility for Joss and have a big say in planning your daughter’s future. Do you have an up-to-date copy of the care plan?’

  ‘Yes,’ Linda said.

  ‘So how do you think things are going for Joss now?’

  With all eyes now on Linda, she was clearly nervous and she flushed. ‘I know Cathy is doing her best, but we feel so guilty that Joss isn’t with us. Eric, her stepfather, and I have been talking about it and we feel that maybe we should try again and have Joss home. Perhaps it would be different this time?’

  There was silence. This wasn’t what anyone was expecting, but Mark handled it well. ‘Linda, as Joss is in care under a Section 20 you have the right to remove her from care and take her home. This should be a planned move, though, after discussion with Joss’s social workers. However, if Joss did go home and the social services felt there were safeguarding issues that meant Joss could come to harm, they could then apply to court for a Care Order. This would mean that Joss would have to return into care, although not necessarily to Cathy’s.’

  Linda gave a deep sigh and looked worried. ‘I know, but Eric and I feel we should try. She is my daughter, after all.’

  ‘But I’m not his daughter!’ Joss snapped, turning angrily to her mother and suddenly finding her tongue. ‘So don’t include him in this. I’m not interested in what that creep wants! And I’ve told you hundreds of times already: I’m not coming home while he’s there. No way! I’d rather be sent to lock-up than live with him. He’s not my father and won’t ever be. Why don’t you listen to what I’m saying?’

  Chapter Thirteen

  End It All

  It was obvious from Joss’s outburst that going home wasn’t an option. After some discussion Linda said she accepted this and would tell Eric. Whereas with a younger child he or she could be moved against their will, if necessary, with someone Joss’s age she would simply ‘vote with her feet’ and walk out. Mark said that if the situation changed and Joss decided she’d like to go home then she and Linda could discuss this with Amelia at any time – they didn’t have to wait for the next review, which wouldn’t be for another six months.

  ‘I won’t change my mind,’ Joss said.

  ‘But it’s nice to know you have the option of going home,’ Jill said. ‘Not many children in care can go home when they want to.’

  Joss didn’t reply but stared moodily straight ahead. Mark moved the meeting on by asking Linda if she was happy with the contact arrangements or if she wanted them formalized.

  ‘I’d like the contact left as it is,’ Linda said. ‘Then Joss can come and visit whenever she wants. She chooses a time when Eric isn’t there,’ she added as Mark wrote. Again, I felt sorry that the integrated, happy family life Linda had hoped for had gone so disastrously wrong, with her daughter and husband unable to be in the house together at the same time and with little hope of that changing in the future.

  Mark then asked Linda if she was satisfied with the improvements Joss was making at school, and Linda said she was pleased Joss was doing more school work but concerned that her behaviour wasn’t improving.

  ‘I’ve made a note of your concerns,’ Mark said. ‘And Miss Pryce will say more about Joss’s behaviour and school work presently. Is there anything else you’d like to raise at this review?’

  ‘Only that I wish Joss wasn’t allowed out so much. That’s when she gets into trouble. And with the summer holidays coming up I’m worried she will get into even more trouble if she’s allowed out all day and evening.’

  ‘Cathy would like to keep Joss in more too,’ Jill added. ‘But it’s difficult with the contract of behaviour as it is. She’s obliged to follow it.’

  ‘Do I have a copy of this contract?’ Mark asked Amelia, glancing at the folder he had on his lap.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Amelia said. ‘It was drawn up after the last time I met with Joss. It isn’t signed yet. I may have to make some changes.’

  ‘Can you give me an outline of the issues we’re talking about, then?’ Mark said.

  Amelia looked at Joss. ‘You have to be in at nine-thirty during the week and ten-thirty at weekends, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but I’m not allowed out on Wednesdays,’ Joss complained. ‘And Cathy makes me stay in all day Sunday as well as in the evening. It’s not fair.
’

  ‘I think I mentioned the issue of Sunday to you when we spoke,’ Jill said to Amelia, and she nodded.

  ‘I don’t make Joss stay “in”,’ I clarified. ‘We have been going out together as a family most Sundays, and Joss has enjoyed it.’

  Mark looked at Linda. ‘So you feel Joss should stay in more than one evening and all day Sunday?’

  ‘Yes,’ Linda said. ‘And what about the summer holidays? What is she going to do for six weeks?’

  ‘I have concerns too,’ I said. ‘I was hoping to go away for a week to the coast, but Joss said she doesn’t want to come because she’d miss Kevin and her friends.’

  ‘That’s a pity,’ Mark said. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like to go on holiday? You’d have a lovely time.’

  Joss shook her head adamantly.

  ‘Perhaps you’d prefer to go to a summer camp?’ Mark suggested.

  ‘No way!’ Joss said, pulling a face.

  ‘If we’re not going away then I think it would be a good idea if Joss enrolled in some short leisure courses,’ I said. ‘For example, tennis, swimming, horse riding, orienteering or ice skating. There’s a lot going on over the summer and my children will be doing some activities.’

  ‘I’ll go ice skating, then,’ Joss agreed, as if it were a penance. ‘But not for too long. I have to see my friends.’

  ‘Perhaps you could find a suitable course?’ Mark asked me.

  ‘Yes.’ I made a note.

  ‘Thank you,’ Mark said. ‘That sounds positive.’ He smiled at Joss, who looked away.

  ‘That will help a bit,’ Linda said. ‘But what about all the other days Joss is allowed out? She won’t be ice skating all the time.’

  ‘What would you like to see happen?’ Mark asked Linda.

  ‘For Joss to just go out maybe twice a week, and not with that man she’s been seen with.’

  ‘He’s my boyfriend!’ Joss snapped. ‘You can’t stop me seeing him. We love each other.’

  Everyone present was aware of the concerns surrounding Joss seeing Zach, but it wasn’t really within the scope of the review to discuss that in depth.