Corrigan Lust (Corrigan Series Book 5)

by Helen Harper

  Mack blinked. ‘You’re right,’ she acceded. ‘Make it ten o’clock tonight instead.’

  Everyone started to leave. There was no denying the renewed optimism encircling everyone. Realising that Mack herself was on her way out, I grabbed her arm.

  ‘We still need to talk.’ I said, trying to convey to her with my eyes how important it was.

  Unfortunately for both of us, the Summer Queen was particularly keen on avoiding the pair of us having any alone time. She caught sight of us together and immediately interrupted. ‘Miss Smith, I have a message to pass on to you.’

  I dropped my hand.

  ‘It’s really rather important, I believe,’ she said, not acknowledging me. ‘Atlanteia wants to talk to you.’

  Mack stiffened. ‘Do you know why?’

  ‘She wouldn’t tell me. Only that she would appreciate you paying her a visit at your earliest convenience.’

  The Queen sauntered off without bothering to note how Mack had reacted to her words. Fear lit her face. Atlanteia was the dryads’ leader – and the pair of us had killed two dryads to prevent Endor from draining the life force of them all. I knew exactly what Mack was thinking. But what had happened wasn’t her fault and she wasn’t as alone in this as she thought she was.

  ‘I did it too,’ I said, scanning her face. ‘I killed one of them too. It wasn’t your fault, Mack.’

  Her expression made it clear that she thought otherwise. ‘I need to go and see her,’ she muttered.

  She’d go and talk to Atlanteia. Then someone else would demand her time. Then she’d venture into Dorchadas. At this rate, she’d be in labour before I managed to speak to her about her pregnancy.

  ‘We have to talk,’ I insisted, determined not to let her go without having this conversation.

  ‘I have to go and see her first,’ she whispered. Her face was so pale and her eyes were suddenly so haunted that I couldn’t stop her.

  I nodded. Alright. ‘Then I’ll come with you.’

  Mack seemed startled. I sighed and looked into her eyes. There was so much that I wanted to say. ‘We really do need to talk, kitten.’

  For once she didn’t argue. ‘Okay then. Let’s go.’

  ***

  Mara drove us. I sat on the back seat next to Mack, inhaling in her scent which was now so very subtly different. I ran through how to approach this with her in my head. I owed her an explanation – and an apology – for how I‘d acted at Loch Ness. And I needed her to know exactly how I felt before I told her about the baby. I wasn’t going to say a word to her, however, until we were completely alone. Mack kept shooting me confused glances, her posture as wary as a cornered cat’s. The silence between us grew and grew until it was almost a relief when we arrived at the familiar gateway to Hampstead Heath.

  We both got out. I gestured to Mara, silently asking her to stay behind and stay silent. Somehow I didn’t think Mack would appreciate having a virtual stranger witness her reaction to what I was about to tell her. Fortunately, Mara was both intelligent and virtually impossible to offend. She simply gave me a crooked grin and nodded, throwing me a brief wave.

  Mack and I silently walked out into the vast park. I had no idea where Atlanteia kept herself but I had a vague idea of the vicinity. It had to be near to where I’d found Mack half drained of blood. Yet another occasion when she’d almost died. The memory still chilled me. The sounds of the night filled the area. I sniffed and listened but, other than typical nocturnal animals going about their business, we were essentially alone. I ran a hand through my hair. I could do this. I had to do this.

  ‘I was so angry at you,’ I said, so suddenly that Mack started.

  ‘I know.’ She closed her eyes and looked pained. She knew exactly what I was referring to. ‘I didn’t want it to happen like that. I wanted to explain it to you first.’ Her voice dropped. ‘I just didn’t get the chance.’

  I resisted the temptation to let it go, and instead continued. I needed her to know it all. ‘All you’ve ever done is fight against authority and be independent,’ I said. ‘You don’t do what other people tell you to. All I could believe was that the idea to drop me had come from you.’ My mouth twisted. It was invidious that others had put her in the position of dumping me like that. ‘So you could put yourself in the position of council head. Leader of every Otherworld group.’

  ‘That’s not how it happened,’ she replied, strained. ‘And that’s not what my job is.’ She stopped and turned, her expression pleading. ‘Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time saying fuck off to anyone who’s tried to tell me what to do.’ She sucked in a breath and shrugged. ‘And look where it’s gotten me. I’ve got no-one. I’m not part of a Pack, or the Ministry, or anything.’

  No-one? Did she really mean that? Daft idiot. ‘You’re kidding, right? You’re best friends with a faerie, a shifter, a mage, a Scottish bookshop owner and a fucking ex-vampire.’ I met her eyes. ‘I’m the Brethren Lord, Mack, I don’t get to have friends.’ Even my relationship with Staines since I’d taken the Alpha’s mantle couldn’t really have been described as friendship.

  ‘I’m not friends with an ex-vampire any more,’ she whispered.

  Mack was so obviously upset by what must have happened to Aubrey that my heart went out her. I kept my arms by my sides, however. We had to have this conversation. I couldn’t get side-tracked.

  ‘Why not?’ she asked.

  I wasn’t sure what she meant. ‘Why not what?’

  ‘Why don’t you get to have friends?’

  ‘Well,’ I said, with a grim smile, ‘I’m hardly going to be best mates with a faerie or a mage, am I? You know things don’t work like that. And I can’t be friends with the shifters because I’m their fucking boss. I can’t tell them all my worries and troubles one minute, then tell them off the next.’ I could feel my frustration almost boiling over.

  Mack’s mouth twitched into a ghost of a smile. ‘So what you’re saying is that in order to be a responsible leader, you need to keep your distance.’ She gestured at me in exasperation. ‘What do you think I’ve been doing?’

  I stared at her. She was right. What she’d been doing was the same. All this time I’d been focused on how her decision to throw our relationship away had affected me. I hadn’t really thought about anyone else. ‘And the three groups are working together in a way that I don’t think has ever happened before,’ I said softly, acknowledging the truth of her words. I reached out, caressing her cheek with the base of my thumb. ‘I’m sorry for what I said to you before about never wanting to see you again. I was hurting.’

  Mack’s eyes flickered with pain and she pulled away. ‘Nothing’s changed, Corrigan.’ She shook her head in dismay. ‘We still can’t be together. I made a promise.’

  There was a way out. There had to be a way out. ‘If we defeat Endor…’

  Mack swallowed, indecision and fear written all across her face. ‘What about the girl?’

  I had no idea what she meant. ‘What girl?’

  ‘You know.’ Her yellow flecks flared. ‘The blonde. The one who called you Corr.’ She almost spat that last part.

  I drew in a breath, shame-faced. Oh. Harriet. That girl. Huh. So that had worked after all. ‘I was hoping that if I was seen publicly with other women, it would get back to you. The one time that being in this position and being photographed constantly seemed like a good thing. It was petty,’ I admitted. ‘But nothing happened, kitten.’

  She gazed at me. She gave her head a minute nod, obviously believing – and forgiving – me. ‘You’re in my head,’ she began. My stomach lurched. ‘And,’ Mack continued, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get you out no matter how hard I try, no matter what stupid shit you pull.’

  I had to say this. It was burning up inside me and I had to get the words out and on the table so that we both knew exactly what we were dealing with. The time for obfuscation was over – not to mention that Mack needed to know this wasn’t just about the baby. Even if it wasn’t mi
ne, I still felt the same. I drew back my shoulders and looked at her steadily. ‘I’m in love with you,’ I said simply. ‘I think a part of me has been from that very first time when I saw you sparring with Tom on the beach in Cornwall. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Because of you and who you are, Mack. Not for any other reason. It’s important you know that.’

  Mack squeezed her hands into fists. Before the thought could form that she was going to hit me, she tilted up her chin. ‘I love you too.’

  My world spun. It had all been worth it. All the anger, the anguish and the worry. She really did feel the same way about me as I felt about her. I could see my own emotion reflected in her. We stood there for a long moment, savouring the mutual knowledge of our shared feelings. For this short time, nothing else mattered.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It was unfortunate that we weren’t here, alone amongst the trees, for a romantic dalliance. Eventually, Mack broke her gaze and heaved a sigh. ‘Come on,’ she said, ‘let’s find out what Atlanteia wants.’

  I nodded and, following her lead, walked slowly down the well-trodden and meandering path. I wanted to tell her about the baby but with the confrontation with Atlanteia approaching and the content feeling that had settled deep within my chest, I didn’t want to spoil things. There would be time later. It didn’t take long before I could already scent the dryad waiting for us. When we curved round a large oak tree, she was right there, long green hair and a regal stance.

  ‘You brought company,’ she said to Mack, who was fidgeting and obviously nervous.

  ‘He was there too, Atlanteia. At Haughmond Hill.’ She licked her lips. ‘You can trust him.’

  Despite the somber atmosphere, it was next to impossible to smile broadly at Mack’s words. Atlanteia fixed me with an appraising look. Oddly, it felt as if she could see right into my soul. I had no idea how old she was but I felt wisdom rolling off her. This was someone who immediately commanded my respect.

  ‘You should have visited before,’ the dryad murmuring.

  Mack swallowed. ‘I … I was afraid,’ she said. ‘I killed one of your own.’

  There was no way I was going to make her stand alone in this. ‘As did I,’ I interjected.

  ‘I know,’ Atlanteia responded, sadness tingeing her words. ‘I also know there was no choice. Your actions, as terrible as they were, saved us all.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Mack dropped her head, all the weight and pain of that horrifying night pressing down on her slim shoulders.

  Atlanteia glided over, empathy and understanding in her every move. She reached out, touching Mack gently under her chin and encouraging her to look back up. ‘You did well, Mackenzie Smith,’ she said softly. ‘There is no censure, only gratitude.’ She glanced at me with a tiny smile. ‘We would like to repay your kindness in helping us.’

  ‘No,’ Mack said, alarmed. ‘There’s no need, really. I don’t want anything.’

  Atlanteia’s gentle smile grew. ‘You’ll want this. Remember, the trees see everything. They know what happens and they don’t forget. They know where your mother is.’

  ‘She’s dead,’ Mack whispered.

  Was she? I glanced at her, worried for the grief Mack was experiencing which I wouldn’t be able to salve. Atlanteia nodded.

  ‘She is. Her final resting place is in Penzance. There is a small cemetery on a hill. You will find her there.’

  ‘She’s in Cornwall?’ Mack asked, her eyes round.

  ‘She did not get far after she left you there.’

  ‘They caught her.’

  The dryad nodded. ‘They did.’

  They? Who the hell were they? The idea that there was some new threat to consider caused me to ball up my fists.

  ‘She wasn’t a Draco Wyr,’ Mack muttered. ‘There was no reason to do that.’

  ‘By sacrificing herself, she kept you safe.’ Atlanteia blinked slowly. ‘You and your brother.’

  Mack froze in shock. I’d admit that my reaction wasn’t any different. There were two of them?

  ‘He was with your father,’ Atlanteia explained.

  ‘My father?’ Mack flung the words out, hope drenching every single one. ‘Is he…?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. He died years ago in a bar fight.’ Pain for Mack and the childhood lost to her ripped through me. ‘Your brother was placed with a foster family. Humans. We do not believe he knows what he is.’

  Mack exhaled. ‘Where is he now?’

  ‘He lives in Windsor.’

  ‘That’s so close.’

  Atlanteia watched Mack carefully. ‘Would you like the address?’

  She looked at me. It wasn’t permission that Mack wanted. It was reassurance. I smiled warmly at her. Mack’s own eyes softened. She turned back to the dryad. ‘Yes.’

  Atlanteia inclined her head in acknowledgment. ‘There is also one other thing.’

  I wondered how many more revelations Mack would be forced to endure. Was this really a good idea? Then, however, Atlanteia turned to me.

  ‘The Voice,’ she murmured. ‘It can be turned off.’

  The truth was written all over face. She knew. She knew that I didn’t want to be Lord Alpha. That there were others who would do a better job. That if I could abdicate then Mack and I had a chance. A smile spread across my face, joy lighting through me.

  Mack frowned. ‘Er, hello? What does that mean?’

  ‘He knows,’ Atlanteia replied smoothly.

  ‘He knows what?’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘Corrigan…’

  ‘It’s okay,’ I said. This wasn’t time to get into longwinded explanations. Mack had enough to deal with. ‘I’ll tell you later.’

  Mack’s hackles rose and she pulled her shoulders back, instantly ready to argue.

  ‘Relax, kitten,’ I murmured. ‘It’ll keep for now. Let’s go and find your long-lost brother.’

  Her body immediately drooped. She was terrified. ‘Okay,’ she squeaked.

  ***

  It was almost day by the time we arrived in Windsor. The magnificent castle watched over us as we made our way through the streets. There was the odd cat, prowling around for early prey, but other than that we didn’t see a soul. Mara pulled up in a quiet street of terraced houses. I looked around. It didn’t seem like it was the kind of place to find a man who occasionally transformed into a dragon.

  Mack’s body was stiff. She didn’t seem to be in any hurry to exit the car.

  ‘It’s six o’clock in the morning,’ I said gently. ‘Do you want to knock on the door?’

  She shook her head, twisting her fingers in her lap. ‘It’s too early. I don’t want to wake him up.’

  I thought of Leah and how I’d feel if I’d never known her. Would I be able to waltz up and introduce myself as her long lost sibling? ‘You don’t have to do this, you know,’ I told her. ‘We can drive straight back to London.’

  I could tell Mack was trying to make up her mind. This wasn’t a decision that had to be taken right this minute. Now she knew he existed, she could come here at any time. I wondered what he’d be like. Would he have the same blazing red hair and fiery temper that she did?

  ‘No,’ Mack finally replied, still as nervous as a kitten. ‘Let’s just sit here for a while.’

  We watched the house. It remained as still as every other house on the street. It was early though.

  Mack sighed with obvious dissatisfaction. ‘How could he not know what he is? He must have some inkling that he’s different.’

  I considered her question. ‘You grew up in a Pack. You know what kind of creatures are out there in the world. If he’s grown up thinking he’s human, then why would it occur to him to wonder otherwise? Maybe there’s a reason why no Draco Wyr have been heard of for centuries. Maybe even they don’t know what they are themselves.’

  ‘Someone knew,’ she half yelled. ‘My mother knew.’

  I understood her frustration. ‘She didn’t tell you though,’ I pointed. Perhaps ther
e was good reason for that. ‘Your old alpha knew, didn’t he? He didn’t tell you.’ I paused. ‘Would things be better for you if you didn’t know? Would you be happier?’

  She muttered under breath. ‘You can’t undo what’s already been done. You can’t un-know what you already know,’ she said. ‘I have no clue.’

  Mack looked back at the house. Tension ran down every line of her spine. She was right. You can’t un-know what you already did. Sooner or later, she’d find out the truth about herself. I had to tell her myself before she found out I’d kept it from her.

  ‘Mack,’ I said, my own nervousness coming to the fore. ‘There’s something you need to know.’

  Alarm forced her to turn back towards me. ‘What?’

  How was she going to react? Was this good news? It was for me. It would change everything though. I swallowed. Come on, I urged myself. ‘It was what I actually wanted to talk to you about before,’ I said, delaying the revelation.

  Her expression tightened. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I realised you didn’t know when you communicated with me from Loch Ness.’

  ‘Corrigan, tell me what’s wrong.’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong.’ I sighed. Or nothing was wrong as long as she was happy about this new development at least. ‘I hope you’ll think that, anyway,’ I quickly added.

  Her eyes were starting to glow. Whether it was because of the poor way I was approaching this or fear out of what I might say, I wasn’t sure.

  ‘Look,’ I said. ‘You remember at Haughmond Hill when we … when we made love?’

  Mack nodded slowly. Well, she remembered. That was something.

  ‘We didn’t use anything.’ I realised how vague I was being and amended myself. ‘Any protection. It was dumb, I know.’ I smiled slightly, remembering. ‘I guess we got carried away in the moment.’

  Recognising the apparent serious of the situation, Mack kept quiet. Her gaze flitted across my face though and she remained tense.

  ‘I’ve always been careful in the past,’ I said, trying to make her understand I didn’t make a habit out of this kind of thing. ‘You make me lose all reason, kitten.’ She stared at me. I had the feeling she was about to explode if I didn’t get to the point. I sighed. ‘You used the Brethren address to have some materials sent. From the NHS. We have a secretary who opens all post as a matter of course unless specifically requested to do otherwise. She opened a letter that was addressed to you and then passed it over to me.’