Mr. Cartwright and the Final Solution

by Greta C. Wink

  They should listen to their fellow Dissidents who claim that I bear the Mark of the Beast. I am very real.

  NEW YORK HERALD, March 29, 2029. AP release

  MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR: PEACE BY PIECE FELLS NORTH KOREAN REGIME

  In what’s being called the most peaceful revolution of all time, the notorious Kim regime crumbled on Tuesday, when the North Korean armies lay down their arms in a field a few miles from the demilitarized zone. This brings to a close the war that has been unsettled for nearly eighty years.

  Former soldiers report that they were awakened early Saturday morning by the sound of their commanding officers telling them that it was time to reunify the Koreas. Last week, South Korea joined other nations in a peacemaking effort by dissolving their standing military. North Korean officials reportedly saw this as the perfect opportunity to try their much-lauded military might and end the war that had been inactive since a cease fire was signed in 1953. Little did they know, the war was indeed drawing to a close.

  “We were told to hand over our ammunition to our commanders,” one former soldier, who would like to be called Mr. Park, confessed. “They promised that we were going into battle armed with the spirit of our Glorious Leader, and that when we marched into our rightful territory, the capitalists would surrender immediately.”

  The army proceeded to cross the unguarded border and walk the forty miles to Seoul. Their faded uniforms and thin boots began to fall apart in the windy spring weather. Their rations of rice and corn ran out after two days. Tuesday morning they awoke to find that their commanding officers had abandoned them, taking all ammunition and remaining supplies with them.

  “We kept marching,” another soldier, who would like to be known as Mr. Jeong, stated. “Some of us still believed that we would be able to take our southern brothers with unloaded guns and holes in our shoes. But we were too hungry, and a number of us began to develop scurvy.”

  The soldiers slowly gave up, coming to rest in the middle of a field between a few farms. They were discussing the best way to steal from the farmers when they were approached by several families carrying trays of food. “We were astonished,” Mr. Jeong said as tears crept into his eyes again. “We were told for so long that these people were soulless monsters corrupted by greed and money. But they shared their food and their happiness with us. I am convinced now that everything I was told in North Korea was a lie. I will never think of my life there again. As far as I’m concerned, today is my birthday.”

  Similar incidents occurred throughout the nation, many of which were captured by smart phone cameras and posted to news sites. Guards left their posts at borders and stations. Soldiers did their best to contact their families left in North Korea, telling them to leave and head south – that there was nothing stopping them now.

  Mr. Park, whose parents grew up under the Kim regime, has never known life without the rigorous work and self-criticism routines that were everyday occurrences for decades. By Thursday, most of the country had fled to South Korea or into China, where a Peace by Piece mission base was established just a month ago in Shanghai, straining China’s once-friendly relationship with North Korea.

  Rumors of the civil rights violations and strict discipline of the North Korean regime have been circulated since the country first split in the 1950s. With the release of the entire nation, the world will finally have its questions answered. Still to make an appearance or a statement is North Korea’s former dictator, who has no one left to dictate.

  When asked what he thought his former leader would do with no one left to rule, Mr. Jeong answered, “Choke.”

  Peace by Piece first launched in the U.S. over a year ago, when the reclusive author of the Emelius Cartwright franchise pledged an undisclosed amount of money for world peace and hired 46,000 Ambassadors to accomplish it. With the destruction of a dictatorship and the freedom of millions of people reaching the ears of the billions across the globe, it may only be a matter of time.

  21.

  The events in North Korea have tripled our donations. This palpable victory for world peace has ushered in a new wave of devotees. It is truly a triumph for personal vision, though I could not have accomplished it without my 46,000 Ambassadors, who live what they believe every day. It is the selfless, outward-thinking decisions of individuals that have made this great leap for peace possible. I refuse to take credit for it, even though it was my idea.

  We began our expansion last fall with three bases in England, four in Australia, one in the Netherlands, and six in Canada. The digital word-of-mouth was unstoppable, and a short two months later we opened more bases all over Europe, painted bright red, like New World smallpox. The sizeable expatriate population in Asia contacted Peace by Piece about setting up their own bases, and soon they appeared in South Korea, Singapore, Japan, the Philippines, and China. It was when North Korea’s overstuffed dictator declared war on our twenty-one peace-adhering countries, including its former ally China, that Mr. Kim finally bit off more than he could chew.

  We are still expanding. We are building bases in the Ukraine, the Balkans, and Indonesia, sprinkling ambassadors throughout abandoned missionary homes in Africa and South America, and reaching disconnected natives in underdeveloped countries, teaching them about a revolution that is happening without their knowledge. Despite the criticism we are drawing for trying to “Westernize” “perfectly capable” and “functioning” tribes cut off from the world, there is no doubt that the influx of peace will do nothing but aid their lives. If their tradition is to kill their neighbors, then are we really doing them harm by stopping their tradition?

  The Dissidents, however, have different ideas.

  American Speculator

  June 4, 2029

  “A Life of Dissent”

  By G. W. Bushnell

  The Grand Orchestrator of World Peace has painted himself* into a corner. I’ll give him credit, he certainly had a good idea.

  Author of the immensely popular Emelius Cartwright novels and founder of heavyweights Final Solutions and Labor Placements, this individual turned his money and influence towards ending war by hiring over 45,000 people to discuss the importance of kindness and selflessness with every person in the world.

  However, despite remarkable progress in adherents and activists, Peace by Piece has hit a few thousand roadblocks, specifically, individuals who refuse to forfeit their right to be “Unpeaceful.”

  The Omnipresent Architect has a solution for this, of course, by shipping off his Dissidents to “quarantine centers” in Lithuania and Haiti, where they live on Emelius Cartwright’s dime as they complete an extended course about peace.

  All well and good, except no one sent to the quarantine center has returned.

  As for me, I intend to live my life in the most dissenting ways possible. I urge you to do the same. He’ll run out of room eventually.

  *This author uses the traditional gender-neutral pronoun “he” to refer to those whose genders are unknown.

  Pax Vox Pop

  June 5, 20—

  “The Nice Man Cometh”

  By Emily Koebauer

  The vast American right to disagree has finally come crashing down on all those who value it the most, and naturally, they disagree that this is a good thing.

  Inspired by the frivolity and destruction around chim*, the creator of popular figure Emelius Cartwright began Peace by Piece with a vast well of money and tens of thousands of paid Ambassadors. With its domestic and international success, it doesn’t appear to be letting up anytime soon, as it has gained millions of supporters and billions of dollars in donations toward its cause.

  The near-sighted ignorant Unpeaceful who remain to challenge Peace refuse to acknowledge that they are quickly becoming a minority. Years of clutching desperately to antiquated, inhumane ideals of a rising tide lifting all boats, as if acting selfishly really helps anyone, has doomed these Unpeaceful to an end that they would find fitting for their enemies. Now their absurd doctrin
es, and all absurd doctrines, will come to an end.

  Peace by Piece is currently sending its Unpeaceful on an all-expenses paid vacation to the ends of the Earth where they will be educated on the importance of Peace and the effect their lives are really having on the world. And they won’t be released back into society until they are safe.

  As the old saying goes, “Beware the fury of a patient [person.]” Peace by Piece has begun something that is changing the world forever, finding a peaceful solution to remove those factors creating the problem. From this day forward, the precedent set by the handling of the remaining Unpeaceful will lead us straight to Peace.

  *This author uses gender-neutral pronouns che (nominative), chis (possessive), and chim (accusative), as defined by Merriam-Webster guidelines for epicene pronouns.

  22.

  Sometimes one must make a decision that appears to be cruel, in the way nature appears to be cruel when it allows a slow impala to be eaten by a lion. Though the impala can feel pain and has a place in the world, it also has a place in the lion’s stomach. The lion can feel pain too.

  I call a one-on-one meeting with A3 and A9.

  There’s a problem with the Dissidents, I tell them.

  “Nothing’s worked.” A9 is choked with emotion. “But we’ll keep trying. We’ll get them.”

  A3 shakes his head. “I don’t think anything will.”

  I agree with both of them. Maybe if we offer them money?

  “No.” A9 does not believe in money, of course. “Money will not change their minds. It will just make them more adamant in their behavior. It would send a bad message to the rest of the world. It would only hurt our cause. We need people to believe in the change. All people. If it were understood that we were paying people to believe something, then our credibility would fall apart. Not to mention the problems the former Dissidents will cause once they’re accepted.”

  A3 nods. “Ditto.”

  I have a different plan. Since no Ambassador or line of reasoning has been able to convince them, we will offer them an all-expenses-paid vacation to Europe, where they will live in a gated community and learn first-hand about the peace we are trying to make in the world. We have made a remarkable depth and breadth of progress in Eastern Europe, much of which had never quite recovered from the “progress” of the past. If, when the Dissidents return, they still do not align with our cause, we will leave them alone.

  “That’ll work.” A9 rubs the stress from her eyes. “Once they see what you’re doing, there’s no way they can decry and defame you anymore.”

  A3 merely smiles.

  Due to my holdings in Eastern Europe, and my influence on international matters of travel and finance, it takes only two days to make arrangements for the Dissidents to spend a few formative weeks in Lithuania. Lithuania is full of empty space, and years ago I built a large campsite there, a short bus ride from the same spot where the Peace by Piece Base is. There are a relatively small number of Dissidents left in this country, the land of the free and the home of the brave, so it only takes about a hundred Ministers and their accompanying Wardens to do the delivery and pickup: delivery of the news, and pickup of the Dissidents. Any Dissidents with families are encouraged to bring them along. The Dissidents are picked up within the same hour around the country, and are brought by car to airports for their flights overseas. I am using private, unrelated funds to pay for this; there is no time to get Zero-Zero-One’s stamp of approval for this measure. Zero-Zero-One will forgive my rashness.

  Or she won’t. It doesn’t matter.

  The Dissidents and their families are not allowed time to pack anything, as all their needs will be attended to, and part of the rehabilitation programs is learning to let go of attachment. Most of the Dissidents resist, but we expected that; they have been resisting this whole time, after all. We are taking a hard line. It’s simply foolish to resist Peace. We have to force Peace upon them.

  The program is scheduled to last six weeks. By that time we expect the resistance to be broken, and then, the reformed Dissidents will be returned to their lives, though with some monitoring, to ensure no relapse of Dissident behavior. There is plenty of room at the campsite for them to explore and socialize, and the possibility is always open for them to leave the campsite and mingle with the locals. The locals are mostly employed at a recycling factory that I own, and so they are very friendly and helpful. They are doing everything they can for world peace, and send brief reports whenever Dissidents visit their villages and attempt to create Unpeace there. Those Dissidents reported by the villagers have their visitation privileges revoked until they display the proper progress.

  What better way to deal with Unpeaceful people than to quarantine them until they no longer pose a threat to society? Unpeace is an illness easily, treacherously, and thoughtlessly spread, and it is about time it is recognized as such and countered with Peace. The Dissidents themselves will be happier this way.

  Anyone who disagrees will be labeled a Dissident.

  THE PLAN

  Graduate early.

  Enter school for computer engineering.

  Join low-level firm as IT employee.

  Restructure power from the inside.

  Observe and record results.

  Repeat.

  Leave firm to begin efficiency consulting company.

  Spend sufficient time researching companies for consultation.

  Find a faltering company with the most diverse set of employee skills.

  Consult company.

  Insult CEO.

  Steal the company’s best employees.

  Predict resulting downfall.

  Grow company.

  Train employees until they are ready to work entirely on their own.

  Hire more employees after 12 months, 20 months, 26 months, and 30 months.

  Give oldest employees their own groups to train.

  Make friends in the local police force.

  At 24 months, live entirely under pseudonyms.

  Obtain a gun permit.

  Write best-selling novel.

  Become famous by proxy.

  Turn books into movies, movies into TV shows, TV shows into exclusive content.

  Invest.

  Buy property overseas.

  Eastern Europe

  South America

  Caribbean Islands

  Introduce world peace corporation.

  Hire ambassadors.

  Send dissenting parties to

  23.

  I close the laptop on Zero-Zero-One’s fingers. She looks up at me, startled, but not scared. Not yet.

  “Quite a plan for a seventeen-year-old to make.”

  I was sixteen when I wrote it. I had very clear visions of a Peaceful future from a young age.

  Zero-Zero-One looks around my office. The bookcases are lined with dusty Emelius Cartwright novels, short story collections, and bound scripts, supported by a couple bookends made from Emmys. On the opposite wall is a map with a pin in each city where Peace by Piece has a presence. “Only villains have maps in their offices,” she sighs. She turns to me again. “Where in Lithuania?”

  I shrug. I don’t quite remember the name of the town. I don’t speak Lithuanian very well. Fortunately, A20 is from Lithuania, so she’s handling it.

  “How long is the program?” That information was in all of the articles. I tell her what she dreads to hear, what she wants to hear: that the Dissidents will be reintegrated into society after they display Peacefulness. It would be irresponsible to let them continue otherwise. Does she want the world to revert to its horribly Unpeaceful ways?

  She holds up a hand to stop me. “Stop it,” she says, which is redundant, but then, I’m the efficient one. She still uses a pen and yellow legal pad, for crying out loud. I wonder what she’s thinking about.

  “Every decision I’ve ever made.” She shakes her head. “Every time I’ve ever spoken of you, or to you, or thought about you. Every time I could have stopped you. Every t
ime I could have answered differently. Every time I told 016—“ She stops again. “Every time I told Kimberly and Greg and Taylor and Hallie that they were doing a great job, that they should keep trying, that they were creating lifelong careers working for a genius who would never lead them astray.”

  I’m not. Not going to lead them astray, that is. 016, 023, 024, and 038 are still employed by Final Solutions.

  “Not after tomorrow.” She stands. “I’m shutting down the company.”

  She’s not allowed to do that.

  “I’m CEO. I fired you, remember?”

  But I’m still the majority stockholder. It would be foolish to do anything against my wishes if she wanted to keep her position.

  “I’m not worried about my ‘position’ right now, except the position that I’m placing myself between you and your Peace.”

  Peace is inevitable. It’s happening. I have a plan.

  “But I’m not anywhere in this plan. It makes sense to me now why you’ve been pulling away from me for years. You knew that you didn’t have a place for me in your little plan. For all your planning, you never planned to have a real relationship with another person. But that doesn’t matter. I’ve been perfectly comfortable carving out my own space in your ideal world.”

  If she’s thinking that she can stop me, then she should take a lesson from the others who thought the same.

  “Maybe I can’t stop you.” She looks sad now, standing by the exit, hand defiantly clutching the knob, as if she’s preparing to throw back her hair for dramatic flair. She doesn’t though. She backs out, keeping her eyes on me as the door closes. “But I’m certainly going to try.”

  www.weareaskingyou.org