Southern Lights

by Danielle Steel

  They had dinner at Balthazar in the Village, which Savannah liked, and her grandmother promised to come and visit her at Princeton soon. It was only an hour and a half away. And Tom and Travis had said they’d come up too in October.

  As Alexa lay in bed that night, it was hard to believe that it was all over. All those years of living together, and taking care of her, and being alone with her, and now she was going. Alexa felt devastated, and knew it would never be the same again. Savannah would come home for visits now, but never to live again, except in the summer. That seemed a long time away right now. The best was over, or so it seemed.

  Alexa had rented a van to take her things to Princeton the next day. Savannah was taking a bicycle, her computer, a small stereo, pillows, blankets, a twin bedspread, framed photographs, all the things she needed in college. Savannah had spoken endlessly to the friend who was going to be her roommate. They were already making plans. Savannah was excited and called Turner four times on the ninety-minute drive. He had gotten to Duke the day before and had three roommates in a suite. Savannah having only one roommate in Princeton sounded very civilized to him. He was coming up the following weekend, and Savannah was thrilled.

  Savannah had a map of the campus that she used to tell her mother where to go, once they got to Princeton. They had to leave the van in a parking lot. And Savannah used Nassau Hall, the oldest building on campus, and Cleveland Tower behind it, as their main landmarks to figure out the rest. Her room was in Butler Hall, and they found it after walking around for a few minutes and asking people where it was. Her room was on the second floor. And it took them two hours to get everything into her room and organized. They still had to hook up the stereo and the computer, but all else was in place, and the roommate’s parents were doing the same thing. Her father helped Alexa with the computer. And the girls were going to share a microwave and tiny refrigerator they rented for the room. Each girl had a phone line, a bed, a desk, a chair, and a chest of drawers. The closet space was minimal, and as Alexa struggled with it all, the two girls walked into the hallway to meet other students. In another hour, Savannah had been absorbed into dorm life and told her mother she could go.

  “Don’t you want me to hang your clothes up?” Alexa asked, looking disappointed. She had just made the bed. They had brought some snacks too, and she thought they should buy more groceries. But Savannah was impatient to move on now, and meet the other students in the dorm and on campus. Her new life had just begun.

  “No, Mom, I’ll be fine,” she said as the other girl did the same with her parents. “Honest. You can go.” It was a polite way of telling her to leave. Alexa hugged her close for a minute, and forced back tears.

  “Take care of yourself…call me …”

  “I will, I promise,” Savannah said as she kissed her, and Alexa smiled bravely as she left, but there were tears rolling down her cheeks when she reached the parking lot, and she wasn’t the only mother crying. It was wrenching, leaving her there. It was like setting a bird free after loving it and nurturing it for eighteen years. Were her wings strong enough? Would she remember how to fly? How would she feed herself? Savannah was ready for it, but Alexa wasn’t. She got into the van and started it, and cried all the way home. It was the final severing of the umbilical cord and felt like the worst day of her life.

  Chapter 22

  Alexa felt as though someone had died when she dressed for work the next day. Her cell phone rang just before she left the apartment, and she thought it was Savannah. She had forced herself not to call her the night before. The number that showed up on her cell phone was blocked, and when she answered it was Sam Lawrence, not Savannah. She hadn’t talked to him since July and was pleased he was calling.

  “That’s a surprise,” she said pleasantly. “How are you?”

  “Pretty good.” He sounded busy and in good spirits. “Will you have lunch with me today?” he asked her. She really wasn’t in the mood.

  “To be honest, I feel like shit. My kid left for college yesterday. I feel like my life is over. I suddenly became obsolete. I hate this. How about lunch next week? I’ll be in a better mood.” She didn’t want to see anyone right now. She was mourning Savannah’s childhood, a huge loss for her.

  “Let’s have lunch today anyway. I can cheer you up.” She hoped this wasn’t a date of some kind, because she was even less in the mood for that, and they were work buddies, and that was all she wanted with him. She tried to weasel out of lunch some more, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Okay. I’ll meet you at the deli across the street. Maybe the food will kill me and I won’t have to worry about being depressed anymore.”

  “You’ll feel better in a couple of weeks. You were fine when she was in Charleston during the trial,” he reminded her.

  “No, I wasn’t. I missed her like crazy. But I was busy. I don’t have a hell of a lot going on right now.” He didn’t comment, but they agreed to meet at twelve-thirty.

  He was there when she arrived, and he could see that she was miserable. Her hair was pulled back in a barely combed ponytail, and she hadn’t worn makeup, and had put on jeans for work. She looked like she was convalescing from an illness. She was pining for her child.

  Sam made small talk with her for a few minutes, as they talked about how bad the food was, and then he smiled at her. “Maybe I have something to cheer you up,” he said hopefully. He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake meeting with her when she was in such low spirits. “I have a proposition for you,” he said mysteriously, as she looked at him with both curiosity and suspicion.

  “What kind of proposition?”

  He took a breath and said it. “A job.”

  “What kind of job?” She frowned at him. “Like a case?” And then she laughed. “You guys have a case you want my help on? Now, that is a compliment!” She was very flattered that the FBI wanted her help, but they had worked well on the Quentin case together.

  “Not a case, Alexa.” He smiled at her. “A job. We want to offer you a job with the OCG, the Office of the General Counsel of the FBI. It’s a desk job, not a field job, so you’re not going to be shooting bad guys. You know what the OCG does. They were all over our asses on the Quentin case. Only now you’d get to be the one bugging everyone else, watching everything, or taking the cases on yourself and kicking ass. They’re going to make you an official offer, but I wanted to talk to you about it first. I’ve been wanting this to happen since we worked together on the Quentin case. I think you’ve done it in the DA’s office. This could be a really exciting career move for you. The benefits are great, it’s interesting, and hell, it’s the FBI.” She’d never even thought of that before. Not once. She assumed she’d be in the DA’s office till she retired.

  “Here? In New York?” she asked, still looking amazed. It was definitely a prestigious job, and a huge compliment to be asked.

  “No,” Sam said awkwardly, “in Washington, D.C. But your kid is gone, Alexa. As far as I know, you don’t have a guy in your life. Why not Washington, D.C.?”

  “My mother is here,” she said, looking distracted and confused. It was a lot to absorb all at once. New job, new city, new life.

  “New York is three hours away by train. It’s not a big deal. It’s not Venezuela, for chrissake.”

  “No, it isn’t. What’s the money like? Better than what I make now?”

  “Yes.” He smiled at her. “You can’t lose on this one. And if you hate it, you can always come back here. But you won’t want to. You’ve done this. It’s over for you. You’re burned out, and you know it.” She had been feeling that way before the Quentin case, and that had spiced things up for a while. Now she was back to robberies and shoplifters, drug busts, and the occasional murder. She missed having something more important to do. “Will you think about it?”

  “Yes.” She nodded, smiling, and feeling a lot less depressed than she had an hour before. She was scared but excited. “I thought you were asking me out on a date.” She laughed then.r />
  “I can do that too.” He grinned at her. “I didn’t think you’d go out with me if I asked, or I would have.”

  “I wouldn’t. I don’t go out with guys I work with. I did that once. It was stupid and a mess, so I don’t.”

  “I figured.” He had guessed correctly from the vibes she put out that she was only interested in being buddies while they worked together. And he saw her treat Jack that way too. “Just take the job. They want you, and you’ll love it. You need something new in your life. Maybe a guy too.”

  She shrugged. “You sound like my mother. And my daughter.”

  “Maybe you should listen to them.” She laughed again, and they spent the rest of lunch talking about the OCG.

  They made her an official offer two days later. The job sounded interesting, the benefits were great, and the money was terrific. It was hard to beat. But she felt guilty leaving the DA’s office. She had been there since she’d graduated from law school seven years before, and they’d been good to her. And she liked Joe McCarthy. She hated to leave them, but they didn’t really need her.

  As she always did, when she had a difficult decision to make, she turned up in her mother’s chambers at the end of the day, looking troubled.

  “Everything okay?” her mother asked. “Savannah okay?”

  “Disgustingly happy,” Alexa answered. “It’s my job.”

  “You got fired?” Her mother looked shocked. She had done such a great job on the Quentin case. How could they fire her? But Alexa shook her head.

  “I’ve had an offer. From the FBI.” Her mother’s eyes opened wide.

  “That’s impressive. Are you going to take it?”

  “I don’t know. The money is good, and I like the job. The FBI would be more fun than the DA’s office at this point.” And then she sighed. “But it’s in Washington. How do you feel about that?” she asked her mother honestly, and Muriel thought about it.

  “That’s an interesting question. Thank you for asking.” She appreciated the relationship she had with her daughter and Alexa’s thoughtfulness toward her. “I don’t want you turning a job down for me.” Her mother smiled at her. “I’m not that old. I’m still working and busy. It’s like Savannah leaving for college. You have to let go and let your kids move on to where they’re supposed to be. I had to face that when you married Tom and moved to Charleston. And Washington’s not that far away. I would miss you,” she added, “but I can visit, and so can you. How do you feel about Washington? That’s more important. You don’t have a lot going on here. These haven’t been happy years for you. And I think you’ll get bored with the job you have now eventually.”

  “I already am,” Alexa admitted. “It’s been dead since the Quentin case, and before that really.”

  “Maybe you need a change, and with Savannah leaving, this is a good time.” And then she smiled at her. “Maybe you’ll meet a guy in D.C.”

  “I’m not worried about that. I’m thinking about you and Savannah.”

  “She’s gone, and I’m fine. And she can just as easily visit you in D.C., from Princeton. And if she wants to come to New York, she can stay with me. I think you should do it.” She was being selfless and honest because she would miss her.

  “Me too. I think I should do it. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

  “Yes.” And then her mother sighed too. “Stanley’s been bugging me about living together. We don’t want to get married, but he thinks getting older, neither of us should live alone, and he wants to live together, in his place or mine.” It had taken seventeen years to ask her, and Muriel had been happy the way things were till now.

  “What do you want, Mom? Never mind what he wants.”

  “I think I like the idea. I was afraid you wouldn’t approve.” She smiled at her daughter, looking a little embarrassed.

  “I think he’s right. And I approve. I worry about you too. So is that settled?” Alexa grinned at her mother.

  “Maybe. I want to think about it some more. I don’t want to rush into anything.”

  Alexa laughed out loud. “How long have you two been dating?”

  “I think it’s seventeen years. Stanley says it’s eighteen.”

  “Either way, I don’t think you’re rushing.”

  “I’ll probably do it. I’d rather he move in with me. I don’t want to give up my apartment, and I don’t like his. He says he’s fine with it. Maybe after Christmas. I’ve got a lot to do before that. What about you. Think you’ll do it?” Alexa nodded.

  “Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Mom.” She leaned over and kissed her, and they walked out of the courthouse together.

  Alexa thought about it that night, and called Savannah. She was doing homework, and Alexa told her about the offer. She was surprised and impressed. She thought the move to Washington would be fun and good for her mother, and she agreed with her grandmother, she could stay with her in New York, if she wanted to see her friends there. It was a time of transition for all of them.

  “Change is a good thing, Mom. Have you heard from the senator, by the way?” Savannah liked him. So did Alexa.

  “I think he was staying in Europe till mid- or late August. He’s probably busy.” But in any case, Savannah had given her full approval for the move, and she thanked her mother for asking her too.

  Alexa gave Joe McCarthy notice the next day. She felt terrible about it, but he said he understood. He said he figured it would happen sooner or later. He had always assumed she would go into private practice with a big law firm. He had never thought of anything like the FBI.

  “They’re smart to hire you.” He gave her a hug. “So when are you leaving us?”

  “Does a month’s notice sound reasonable?”

  “Very. That gives me time to reassign your cases.”

  She thought of something then that she wanted to thank him for again. “Thank you for fighting to let me keep the Quentin case, and not just giving it to the feds.”

  “Maybe I should have,” he teased her. “Then they wouldn’t be offering you a job.” And then he hugged her again. “I’m happy for you. I think this is a good career move for you. I hate like hell to lose you, but I approve.”

  “Thank you.”

  Word of her leaving spread like wildfire in the office. Jack was glaring at her from across her desk by four-thirty that afternoon.

  “What the fuck is that about?” he said unhappily.

  “I’m sorry, Jack,” she said apologetically. “They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

  “It’s going to suck around here without you,” he said miserably, and walked out of her office again, too depressed to talk about it any further.

  She was thinking about all she had to do, find an apartment, break her lease on this one, move, start a new job, get her cases reassigned here, when Edward Baldwin called her just before she left the office.

  “Can I talk you into a last-minute hamburger? I’m in town for the night. Sorry I haven’t called you since I got back. I’ve been dealing with about four hundred headaches, and I had to spend a week in Charleston. How’s Savannah doing at Princeton, by the way?”

  “She loves it.” Alexa smiled. He sounded full of life and busy and like he was running in two hundred directions. And now, so was she. “And the hamburger sounds great. Where should I meet you?”

  “I’m about two blocks from your office. Why don’t I pick you up, and we’ll figure it out together?”

  “Sounds good.”

  She was downstairs five minutes later, and so was he in his town car. He opened the door and she got in, and they sped uptown to his hotel for a drink, and a hamburger later.

  “How was the rest of your trip?” he asked her.

  “Wonderful. How was yours?”

  “Perfect.” He smiled as he said it. “I thought about you a lot. I kept meaning to call you, but I didn’t. I saw your husband in Charleston last week, by the way. I have to admit, he looks miserable. I can see why, his wife was with him, and she looks like
she sucks lemons for breakfast and beats him up every night. I’d say the fates got even with him.”

  “Maybe so.” She smiled at Edward. It wasn’t her problem anymore.

  She told him over their hamburgers that she was moving to Washington and going to work for the FBI, and he looked stunned.

  “You are? Now, there’s a huge change. How brave of you.”

  “I figured it was a good time to do it with Savannah leaving for college. I probably wouldn’t have before.” But she had made a lot of brave moves recently. She had let Savannah go to Charleston, had visited there herself, she had buried the hatchet with Tom, and now she was changing jobs and cities. It was a time of growth for her too. “I have to start looking for an apartment pretty soon.”

  “I’ll help you,” he volunteered with a broad grin. “When do you start with the OCG?” He liked that a lot. He was in Washington most of the time. He had wanted to see her, even if she was living in New York, but this would make it a lot easier for him, and give them more time together to get to know each other.

  “I start on November first. And I have a lot to do before then.”

  “Why don’t you come down this weekend and start looking?” She thought about it. She had nothing else to do. She looked across the table and smiled at him.

  “Okay.”

  “We can look for apartments all weekend,” he suggested. It sounded like a plan to her.

  Chapter 23

  Alexa left the DA’s office as planned on November 1st. It was a bittersweet day for her, and Joe McCarthy hosted a dinner for her before she left. They gave her a plaque and a lot of silly joke gifts.

  She was leaving for Washington the next day, via Princeton. She had put off starting at the OCG by a week, to give herself time to move into her new house. Her furniture was due in Washington two days later. She had been staying at her mother’s for the past week, which was kind of fun. And Edward was calling her several times a day with plans and invitations. He had invited her to dinner at the White House with him in two weeks.