Wishful Thinking
Page 22
Christian could understand the words, but he could not comprehend the emotions. It had to be enough for him that this enormous weight of guilt had now gone from his shoulders; and it had to be enough that Jess would not go through the same torment. More than that, he couldn’t consider. What he’d lost, what he might have had was a pain that must forever dwell in the past.
The person he felt most pity for right now was Adam. He genuinely loved Amber and what this knowledge would do to that love was something he couldn’t guess. But Adam needed to know that Amber’s lost babies – his lost babies might have lived. And he also needed to make sure that if and when the police returned, the records would be set right. What the future had to offer for Amber, he didn’t want to think about.
Jess barely spoke a word on the drive back to Mayfair and he knew she was still in a state of shock. As they entered the house and the door closed behind them, he drew her into his arms and looked into her lovely, trusting face. Her eyes shone as she looked up at him and he could read in them a world of understanding, of sympathy, forgiveness and love as she reached her lips up to be kissed by his.
“I’m so very sorry for your loss,” she whispered, looking deep into his eyes.
He nodded, but said nothing. It was hard to grasp the significance of losing something you’d never considered to be rightfully yours and the enormity of this loss still baffled him.
“We’re both free now,” she told him, snuggling against his shoulder and aiming little kisses at his throat.
And it was that sense of freedom, as Jess called it that had started to fill him with wonder on the drive home. He couldn’t dwell on Amber’s senseless destruction because nothing could change what had happened. It was a pain that belonged in the past. His future looked so much more beautiful and enticing.
“Free to plan our future without any ugly baggage dragging us down,” he acknowledged, leading her towards the sofa before they’d even removed their coats and pulling her down on top of him, so that they could kiss more equally. He loved to feel her weight on top of him. It reminded him that she was real, and his. “I think that calls for champagne, don’t you?”
“I’d rather have a few more of these,” Jess said, pushing him backwards and leaning over him to offer her soft and luscious lips, which he willingly accepted. And he thought: this is perfect contentment, lying here in the middle of the afternoon with the woman he loved and not having a care in the world. Gently, so as not to break physical contact for more than a second, they helped each other to remove their outdoor clothing to allow that closer intimacy their bodies craved and lay in each other’s consoling embrace for a long time.
*
When they surfaced for air, they continued to gaze into each other’s eyes and a sensation of wellbeing flooded through him. Soon Ben would be home from school and they’d behave like the happy family he had come to believe was their role, a role he wanted to make permanent.
“You know, as an only child, I always wanted a large family,” he told her, dropping more kisses into her hair as she lay peacefully against him.
She looked up, slightly surprised and smiled, though a little uncertainly, as if unsure whether he was referring to his past losses or his future possibilities. “Me too.”
“In that case, I think we owe it to ourselves to get married as quickly as possible and put our wishes into practice, don’t you agree?” It wasn’t the most romantic way to propose, he knew but he suddenly felt the need to lighten the mood, drawing the curtains on the gloom of their past.
For a moment she seemed to be suspended in frozen animation, a curious expression on her face. Then slowly she pushed herself up and away from him, but without removing her eyes from his as he watched her intently. “Is that a proposal?” She asked him at last.
He released a mock groan. “Oh I know…I know exactly what you’re thinking.”
“You do?”
“Yes. You’re thinking I’m a lazy sod and need to get off my backside and down on one knee. Well then,” he paused, rolling off the sofa and onto his knees on the floor in front of her. “My lovely, wonderful Jess – will you make me truly complete by agreeing to marry me soon? And by soon, I mean ultra-soon. Only, Ben will be home from school in a minute and I think he’s pretty impatient for a new brother or sister so we really shouldn’t waste a minute.”
He looked into her sparkling blue eyes which were shining with love and knew with complete conviction that this was absolutely right and that he wanted her more than any other woman in the world as he waited for her answer.
“Yes!” she said at last and it sounded like the sweetest word ever uttered to his ears. He was glad she repeated it as he looked into her lovely face. “Yes, oh yes and another yes for good measure! Oh Christian, I love you so much – I’d love to marry you.”
“And I love you too, my little ghost-writer,” he said, releasing the breath he’d been holding without even realising in an explosion of profound joy. He kissed the tip of her irresistible nose before drawing her towards him. “Infinitely more than words can say.”
More books by Lynette Sofras
The Apple Tree – contemporary romance
Escaping from your past is never easy, as young hospital doctor Juliet discovers when she tries to start afresh, leaving both her marriage and her career behind. Love blossoms rapidly when she meets the mysterious and forthright Nicholas, who seems to herald the new beginning she craves.
The past quickly dissolves into insignificance as their all-consuming romance propels them forward but Juliet has to learn the price of happiness in the cruellest way possible. Will she be able face the painful roots of her past in order for her future to grow strong and healthy?
Available from Amazon and all major e-book distributors.