Forbidden Temptation

by Gwynne Forster

  “I was waiting for you, Luther,” Roger Perkins said with a big smile that lit up his face. “It’s sure good to see you moving around like this. Would you like to go down to the game room? We can get some coffee.”

  “Five years haven’t done any damage to you,” Luther told the younger man.

  “Well, no. In fact, my attitude has taken a big leap forward. This place does that to you.” Luther couldn’t see how associating with a group of disabled men could brighten your outlook.

  They took the elevator to the lower level. “I called Pearl Kendrick. We had a good talk, and I’ll meet her at the studio tomorrow. If her singing voice is equal to her speaking voice, it should be warm and lovely. I can’t thank you enough, Luther. A sympathetic accompanist can make her sound even better than she is, and I’m going to do some special arrangements for her.”

  Luther liked what he was hearing. “I couldn’t forget how you play, man,” he said to Roger.

  “What about you? Do you play much these days? We have some real jam sessions here sometimes.”

  They got off the elevator, and he walked slowly to accommodate Roger, who seemed unaware of his slow pace.

  “This is Luther Biggens, everybody, my former commander. He’s retired. Got roughed up like the rest of us.”

  Luther walked around greeting the men, some of whom had served under his command. “I’m glad to see all of you,” he said and stopped in front of a lieutenant who wore a metal prosthetic arm and hand. “Logan! My Lord, man, I’ve been wondering whether you made it out of there. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve awakened calling your name.”

  They embraced each other, and Logan wiped the tears from his face with his left hand. “I was about three feet from you, sir. I kept calling you, but you didn’t answer, and I couldn’t see a thing. I’m so glad you made it.”

  “How’ve you been?” Luther asked him.

  “Couldn’t be better. After I came out of the hospital, I met and married a fantastic woman, and she’s given me twin sons. Like I said, life couldn’t be better.”

  Luther regarded the man carefully. “I thought I was bad off without my right foot and half of my leg, but you’re telling me I’m damned lucky.”

  “Your foot, eh? In here, that hardly counts. And you don’t need your foot in order to make love to your woman, but keeping her happy with one hand and a metal claw takes a hell of a lot of skill on my part and patience on hers. But I didn’t let it stop me.” He winked at Luther. “It works. What matters in this business, man, is love.” He wrote his address on a piece of paper. “Come over sometime. I want you to meet my family.”

  Luther ran his hand over his short kinky hair, hoping that his skepticism didn’t show. Logan hadn’t impressed him as a Pollyanna; indeed, while under his command, the man had exhibited a crusty edge and a toughness that marked him for leadership. He noticed that Logan wrote out his address with his left hand and not with the prosthesis on his right arm.

  “I remember your being right-handed, Logan.”

  “You do what you have to do, man. How about joining that game of rummy? It’s just starting.”

  “Haven’t played since I left the service, but…why not?”

  “Oh, you needn’t worry,” Logan said. “We don’t play for money. It wouldn’t be fair to Christopher. He can’t see.”

  Luther took the seat that faced Christopher and looked at the other four players whom he hadn’t previously met. Two were missing arms, Christopher couldn’t see, and Luther couldn’t detect the other man’s disability, but he knew he had one. Maybe he’d wake up any minute and discover that Logan was not the Angel Gabriel giving him a lesson in thankfulness for what he had. He’d never considered it a blessing to be missing a foot and part of a leg, but in view of what he saw around him, he could damn well rejoice.

  Christopher shuffled his special deck of braille cards and dealt a hand to each of his companions and himself. Luther had what could have been a winning hand, were it not for his having forgotten the game’s fine points.

  “If I’d had your hand,” Christopher told him, “I’d have cleaned up.”

  “You’ve got an awesome memory,” Luther told him.

  “You would too if you had to depend on it as I do. You don’t cultivate your memory capacity. I do, and it allows me to jerk people left and right, especially when they think they can trick me.”

  “I suppose when you lose one ability, you gain one to compensate for it,” Luther said to no one in particular.

  “You go, man,” Christopher said. “My hearing’s superior, too. Say, Commander, what did you lose and where?”

  Feeling as if he hadn’t earned the right to be among those seriously disabled ex-service men, Luther downplayed what he’d done, the medal he received. “I just lost a foot and a small part of the leg.”

  “No kidding,” one of the vets said. “You don’t walk like it. Let’s see what they gave you.”

  Luther’s eyes widened, and his bottom lip dropped slightly. He ran his fingers over his hair as he always did when surprised. He’d never intentionally shown that leg to anyone other than a doctor or other health personnel.

  “Come on, man. You barely limped when you walked in here. This I got to see,” a soldier remarked.

  Luther pushed away from the table, rolled up his left pant leg and pulled off his lizard-skin shoe.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” the soldier said. “Would you look at that! They even painted it to match your skin color.” Luther hadn’t thought about the advantage of having his prosthesis the color of his skin. He unrolled his pant leg and put on his shoe.

  “They told me the advantages and disadvantages of the different types, and I chose this one,” Luther explained, trying to push aside his feeling of guilt that he was better off than the others there.

  They talked about the differences in types of aids and the recent developments in the field of prosthetics. One of the men yawned, and Luther looked at his watch. “Good grief,” he said. “Do you guys know it’s almost midnight? I was going to stay here for an hour. I’m an early riser. See you again soon.” He walked around to where Roger leaned on his crutches shooting pool. “I’ll call you in a day or so, Roger, and maybe we can get together.”

  As he drove home, he thought of the men there, making the best of what was left of their lives, and especially of Logan. One day, the man had had the world on a string—tall, handsome, young and blessed with brilliance and courage. And then, that land mine had changed his life forever. Changed all of the survivors.

  He parked in his garage, and entered his house through the kitchen. Maggie had noticed that he did that at night, and she left the kitchen lighted. He laughed when he saw the oatmeal and raisin cookies on the table and a note beside them. He knew the milk was in the refrigerator, and he also knew she’d poured a glass and covered it with aluminum foil. She’d told him she wanted him to find a nice girl, as she’d put it, but she made it convenient for him to postpone the task.

  A check of his voice mail revealed calls from Pearl and Amber. It was too late to call either, but he’d get to it early the next morning.

  “Do you know this hotel Paige reserved for her engagement party, Luther?” Amber asked him when he called. “Paul said he’d rather stay some place else if it’s not five-star.”

  “It’s five-star, all right,” Luther said. “If it’s not, you’ll never see one. Lyman Epse is superrich, and he told her to do whatever she likes. That’s why she’s having a three-day party. Imagine! That guy rented the hotel for two nights and three days. That blew my mind.”

  “I can’t wait to see it,” she said. “It’ll be like a family reunion. How’s Ruby?”

  Now, he knew the real reason for her call. Why would she ask him about her sister? Amber had some notion that he and Ruby belonged together. Maybe they did, but if everyone except Ruby thought so, their thoughts didn’t mean a damned thing.

  “I haven’t seen her recently, Amber. You know more
about her than I do.”

  “Gee,” she said. “That’s too bad.”

  After hanging up, he telephoned Pearl but didn’t get an answer. He thought of calling Ruby. If Logan could find happiness with a woman who didn’t know him when he was a whole, vibrant man, why couldn’t Ruby accept him, a man she’d known and cared about most of her life? And a man who had thrilled her, who’d fired every nerve in her body, and who had flung her to the heights of ecstasy? She’d lie if she said he didn’t, and she knew he’d do it again if she gave him the chance. How could she be so shallow?

  Ruby was not in the office when Luther called, but in the Morningside district with a talented woman who made doll clothes as a means of supporting herself and her three children. Ruby hadn’t planned to give free individual counseling in that district, but the woman needed help. By the time Ruby left her, she had convinced the woman to make children’s clothing instead and had worked with her on the design of a catchy flier that would serve as an advertisement. She returned to her office, called the human interest editor of a local paper and asked her to interview the woman.

  I’ve got her life on track, Ruby thought. Now, if I could only do the same for mine.

  Her intercom light flashed, and she pressed the button. “Yes?”

  “Mr. Biggens called,” her secretary said, “but he didn’t leave a message. Shall I dial him for you?”

  “Thanks, but I’ll get to him later.”

  She pondered the wisdom of calling him, but decided that his call must have been important, because he hadn’t called her since that night. She closed her office door and dialed his number.

  “Hello, Luther, this is Ruby. You called me?”

  “Hello, Ruby. It was a moment of impulsiveness. You weren’t there, and the moment’s gone. How are you?”

  “Right now, I’m confused. You called me, but you didn’t have anything to say to me. That it?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Luther, I’m losing patience with you.”

  “Did you ever have any? Since I came back from the Middle East, I mean?”

  “Exactly what does that mean? I had enough patience with you to let you…Oh, what’s the use? Have a good day. Goodbye.” She hung up, and for the first time since her mother had died, she sobbed uncontrollably. After a few minutes, she went to her private bathroom, washed her face and looked at herself in the mirror.

  He finds a dozen ways to let me know he doesn’t want me. Damn him! I deserve better. She turned away from the window and walked with lead feet back to her desk. I wish I could get interested in another man. Really interested, so much so that Luther Biggens wouldn’t exist for me.

  The light flashed again on her intercom, and she pushed the button. “Yes?”

  “Mr. Biggens on two, Miss Lockhart.”

  Now what? “Hello, Luther.”

  “Hi. I have to go over to Penwood, near Royal Oak, and I was wondering if you would ride over with me and drive my car back.” They’d done that any number of times, and it seemed natural that he’d ask her. She knew he’d bring someone’s car back and that he didn’t trust anyone else to do it. “I can’t leave the shop unattended, and I have only one man there today.”

  “When do you want to go, Luther?”

  “As soon as you can get away.”

  “I’m the boss now, so I do as I like. I’ll drive home, leave my car in the garage and wait there for you. Give me about forty-five minutes.”

  “That’s great. I appreciate it. See you soon.”

  Little Ruby running behind you as usual. All I need is my damned yellow and brown blanket, and you wouldn’t know I was a day older than three years. She was annoyed with herself. Would she never get over that man? She’d go with him and drive his car back, but would he ignore her the next time he saw her?

  She hurried home and changed into warm clothes. When she saw Luther’s car drive up she headed out to meet him. He wouldn’t be able to say she got him into her house in order to try seducing him. She remembered how carefully he’d avoided getting near her the last time they were alone in her house.

  “Aren’t you taking the highway?” she asked him as he headed for one of the back roads.

  “The woods are still pristine white from that last snow we had. It’s my favorite drive, winter or summer. You know, when I was in the service, I thought about my family, you, your sisters and the way this drive looks in spring and after a fresh snow. I’ve loved it since I was a boy, and I’d ride my bicycle out here some Sundays. It’s idyllic anytime of year.”

  She noticed that he drove slowly, allowing himself to enjoy the tall pines that peeked out from the snow. The narrow road curved along like a slowly winding river, and a sprinkling of snowflakes dusted the windshield.

  It is so beautiful, she thought, unaware that she’d said the words aloud, until he said, “I thought you’d like it. If I had my way, you’d like everything I like.”

  A peculiar pinching in her stomach was the only evidence of her sudden nervousness. “What do you mean?” she asked when she settled herself.

  “If you need an explanation, I don’t think you’d understand. You know, I went to the officers’ club last night for the first time since I was…you know…since I came home from the service. All the men that I saw there were disabled, and I was amazed at the way they handled it. I couldn’t get over some of them.”

  “Are you going back?” she asked him.

  “Yeah. I told them I would. They have a string quartet and a jazz combo. I think I’ll take my guitar and sit in with some of them. One of the men may become Pearl’s accompanist. At least, I’m hoping it’ll work out for them. He’s a fine man, a terrific pianist, and he needs the work. A lot of people can’t stand being around disabled people, and that kind of stupidity is the reason why that gifted man needs a job.”

  “If he’s good, I’m sure Pearl will hire him.”

  He glanced at her and spoke softly. “Would you?”

  “If I sang well with him, of course I would. Why are you asking me that?”

  “Perhaps because I…I don’t know you anymore, Ruby.”

  She folded her arms and prepared to give him what for. “You know me as well as I know you. Maybe much better. Sometimes I think I don’t know you at all.”

  “I’m not sure the time for us to air this is when I’m driving in what looks like sleet. If you want to talk about us, let’s do it when neither of us is behind the wheel of an automobile.”

  She pushed out her bottom lip and hated herself for being childish. He had no idea how she felt about him, and at the moment, he didn’t seem interested in finding out. “If you find yourself in the same room with me, you’ll probably run,” she said, not caring what his reaction to that would be.

  He slowed down, and she feared that he’d park and give her what for, but when she looked at him, the sadness of his facial expression shocked her. “What…what’s wrong?” she asked him.

  He shook his head slowly and, she thought, sadly. “I can’t count the times that you and I made this trip together, and for the same purpose. It seemed such a natural thing to do, so I called you and, as you’ve always done, you agreed. I didn’t want us to battle during the trip. Oh, hell, Ruby. I don’t know what I wanted.”

  She put her hand on his right one, and he flinched, thought it was barely perceptible. “Let’s not fight anymore. When we get there, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake,” she said.

  He turned his palm up to join with hers, though he didn’t look at her. “Thanks. You would remember that I love cheesecake.”

  “That isn’t all that I remember about you, Luther.”

  “I’m afraid to ask what else.” He released his hand from hers, reached over and flipped on the radio to a station that offered easy listening music. “Let’s not ruin this good moment. We don’t have many of them these days.”

  She wanted to ask him to clarify that, but she couldn’t risk his thinking that she was being provo
cative. She told herself to focus on the fact that he hadn’t moved his hand from hers, but had turned it over, giving her a rare moment of sweet intimacy with him. She knew she couldn’t count on more than that, for the man she thought she knew like the back of her hand had become an enigma.

  “You always loved cheesecake,” she said softly. “That’s why I learned to make it. I think I was about fifteen the first time I tried it.”

  “Yeah. I remember you came over with it one Sunday afternoon, and I’d never seen anybody look so proud. I didn’t have the heart to tell you you’d screwed it up.”

  “I know. You actually ate it with all those nuts ground up in it.”

  “I expect I’d have eaten it if you’d put a cup of salt in it instead of sugar. That was really touching.”

  “I got it right the next time, though. Didn’t I?”

  “Yeah.” He sounded so wistful that she turned to see if she could read his facial expression. “And for the rest of the summer, till I went to the academy, you brought me a cheesecake every Sunday. To this day, nobody’s cheesecake tastes as good as yours.”

  She noticed that the grains of snow had become flakes, drifting down lackadaisically as if they had all the time in the world. She said as much to Luther and added, “Gosh, wouldn’t it be wonderful if life was as tranquil as this picturesque environment. I’d love to stroll through those woods right now.”

  “It seems idyllic, but that’s because we’re in this warm car. It’s freezing cold out there and windy, too. But if you want me to stop, I’ll—”

  “Thanks, but I think I’ll enjoy it from here.” Maybe she shouldn’t say it, but she felt it so deeply that she didn’t want to keep it to herself. “You’ve always been willing to help me do whatever I wanted to do, even when you thought I was a little off the wall, and you haven’t changed in that respect. I wish—”

  He interrupted her. “Let’s not reminisce anymore, Ruby. If we do, we’re going to ruin the most pleasant time I’ve had with you since the day after Christmas.”

  Hot blood stung her face. She didn’t know what he was referring to, and she didn’t plan to ask him. He obviously hadn’t found her a good lover, or he would have wanted them to make love again. Furthermore, she’d made up her mind to forget about him, hadn’t she?