by Starla Kaye
As his shout faded away, Doug’s body went limp and they all dropped down. “Oh. My. God,” he said wearily, trying to look at her, clearly worried about her. “That was better than I read about.”
Rose awkwardly scrambled off Camden and her juices dripped between her legs. A tad embarrassing, but her cowboys were looking as sweaty, as messy, as completely satisfied as she felt. She smiled at both of them, and then gaped at Doug. “You read about? Do you mean you—”
“Studied up. Yeah.” He appeared uncomfortable, couldn’t meet her eyes. “Wasn’t about to do something wrong. Hurt you.”
Didn’t want to hurt her? She struggled not to say, “Ahhh, that’s so sweet.” He would be even more uncomfortable. All of this had surprised her, at least the part about neither of them having been part of a ménage before. They had such “hot” reputations, seemed to have bedded more than their share of women in the area.
While she had a warm and fuzzy moment, Camden grinned cockily. “Maybe bro needed to research how this was done, but not me. I was confident about it.” He winked at her. “Give us a bit and I bet we can do this again. That whole practice makes perfect thing.”
For some reason she felt uncomfortable. He hadn’t actually said anything bad, but something was different now. She shook her head. “I’m thinking you’ve done enough today.” She looked at Doug, whose expression she couldn’t read, and back to Camden. “Twice in the last hour or so. Time to give it a rest.”
He gazed down at his clearly deflated penis. “I bet if you put your sweet mouth to my cock, you could bring him right back to life.”
Her face flamed. That was something else she’d never done, another way she was out of league with these two. Ryan had never asked her to do that, hadn’t even said he liked it. She started to admit her naivety on the matter, but Doug sat up and scowled at Camden.
“Pretty damn crude, don’t you think? You’ve embarrassed her, idiot.” Doug sucked in a breath and let it out. “We didn’t hurt you, right?”
Her voice came out in a shaky near whisper. “No, I’m fine, way more than fine, actually.” She needed distance from them. Suddenly she realized just what a strange thing she’d done, had sex with two men. In a way. Only one of them had entered her body, but it had been close enough. Why had she agreed to this? Was she that desperate for someone to love her?
Whoa! This hadn’t been about love, just sex.
Camden was still focused on what a good time he’d had, thought they all had had. “Pretty spectacular in my book. We should have done this a long time ago.” He grinned at some memory. “I bet Sarah Beth would have—”
Doug shoved him off the bed. “God, you’re such an idiot.”
“What the hell did you do that for?” Camden stood, glared indignantly at his friend.
“Because you’re an idiot, like I said.” Doug slid a glance at Rose.
She’d sucked in a breath when Camden had mentioned another woman. The enjoyment she’d had was completely gone. She’d been curious, stunned and excited by their attentions. She’d wanted to feel loved. Now she just felt used, even if she’d agreed to what they’d proposed.
Mortified, she scrambled off the bed on the other side and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door. She slid to the floor, pulled up her knees and hugged them. She’d made a fool of herself, again. First she’d believed she could one day be a prima ballerina. Now she’d believed that these men actually liked her, maybe were even falling a little in love with her. The idea was ridiculous given how short of a time they’d known one another and how many other women they’d slept with. Still, they’d competed with each other for her attention, brought her gifts. It hadn’t meant anything.
“Rose, sweetheart.” Doug sounded like he was right on the other side of the door, worried.
“Leave me alone.” She gave a quiet sob, tried to keep the actual crying at bay, sobbed again.
“Are you crying?” Camden asked, clearly uneasy.
“Of course she is,” Doug growled. “And it’s your damn fault.” He knocked on the door. “Come on, Rose, open up.”
Irritated with herself, with them, she gushed out, “All you wanted was a warm and willing woman in your bed. Any woman would have done.”
“That’s not true.” Doug didn’t try to open the door, which he could have done. Instead he cursed at Camden, something harsh.
“I never told her that,” Camden protested, now getting mad as well.
She sniffled, dashed at the tears on her face. “Not exactly, but…Sarah Beth…” She sniffled again. “I’m the idiot. You’re
just a man.”
Camden pounded on the door. “Open the damn door.”
“No.” She got to her feet and moved to lean against the bathroom counter. The marble was cold next to her bare bottom, like the floor had been. “Go away.”
“Not happening.” Two snarled responses.
Rose could almost see Doug standing there, all magnificent naked cowboy, pure stubbornness in his expression. He’d touched her heart and it was really going to hurt when they went their separate ways, which had always been inevitable. He’d made it very clear that neither of them were interested in settling down. Neither of them wanted a serious relationship. She’d sworn she didn’t either. But it had been a lie. She wanted someone to love her, someone she could love and who needed her. Doug Grayson with all of his inner wounds did need her. But he’d never admit it and she wouldn’t tell him.
She grabbed a nearby washrag and wiped away the tears. Hiding away in the bathroom was stupid. She needed to gather what little remaining pride she had left and get out of here. Out of this house. And probably even out of this town.
The doorknob rattled, but they still didn’t open the door. A reminder that neither of them had forced themselves on her. They hadn’t forced her into this strange situation. They hadn’t forced her to step outside of her comfortable box. All they’d done was offer enticement, their two endearing personalities… and their fine, studly bodies, of course.
“Darlin’, I’m sorry. My mouth says things before my brain has a chance to think about them.” Camden sounded distressed. “Doug’s right. I was a damn fool.”
Oddly enough she wanted to scoop him into her arms and hug him. This teasing, nearly always smiling cowboy carried emotional wounds, too. He tried to cover them up with attitude, and she suspected with womanizing. But they were there. Maybe she’d over-reacted. Maybe her loneliness had finally pushed her over the edge.
“I’m the foolish one,” she said on a sigh. Having the closed door between them was helping her calm down. “I…I just got scared, I guess.”
Doug cursed again, something really colorful. “I knew it! Damn, I knew doing this would scare you off.”
“Are you really afraid of us?” Camden asked, sounding horrified. “You said we didn’t hurt you, were you lying?”
The door opened and Camden strode straight to her. His face was pinched in misery, his eyes worried. He hesitated and then pulled her into his arms. “Can we start over? Please? Give us—me—another chance.”
Doug was right behind him, clearly unhappy with being left out of the hug. “Us another chance,” he demanded. “I’m not walking away…unless you tell me to.”
It felt good to be snuggled against Camden, and not just because she was aware of how badly he wanted her, again. Surprise of surprises, the cowboy was rock hard and longer than ever! But beyond sex, did he really want to have a relationship with her? And Doug? He sounded just as adamant about the matter. Maybe this wasn’t as bleak as it had seemed.
She needed time and distance from what they’d done and some distance from her cowboys. Time to think. She couldn’t do that if she stayed here. She eased away from Camden and kept Doug at a distance as well. “I need to go home,” she stated simply.
Both men frowned. Camden opened his mouth to speak, but squeezed it shut and his shoulders slumped as he nodded agreement.
Doug, too, looked ready to protest
and then, apparently, thought better of it. He turned to walk stiffly into the bedroom. “I’ll take you.”
When Camden didn’t follow his friend out of the room, she found the courage to gently touch the side of his face. “I need time to think.” Her thumb smoothed over his beard-roughened cheek. “We all do.”
Was there a sheen in his eyes? He glanced away, swallowed hard. A second later he said gruffly, “I’ll bring you your clothes.”
CHAPTER NINE
“Got time for lunch?” Samuel called out, his deep voice booming through the library.
Rose stepped out from the back room to find the older cowboy standing in front of the checkout desk.
“I’ve been hearing about your changes here, wanted to see them for myself.” He looked around the area, spotted the new children’s sitting section with a colorful rug and big floor pillows, and nodded approval. “If I had grandkids, I’d bring them here.”
She smiled at his grouchy tone. “Still pestering Maggie and Tyler?” Camden had told her on the drive around the ranch that day about how Samuel kept nagging the couple to ‘get down to business and give him grandbabies.’
He scowled at her. “Not one of my kids has ever listened worth squat to me.”
She knew that was a lie and so did he. He was just pouting. “From what I’ve seen of the men your kids have become, I think you did a good job with them. They must have listened to something you said.”
He shrugged but looked pleased. “I’m tired of talking about my kids. I’m interested in finding out more about you.” He glanced at the clock on the wall behind the desk. “It’s noon. Time for lunch. Let’s go.”
“I brought my lunch.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to go off somewhere with him. She didn’t want him digging into her past, not that she was ashamed of it. But she liked her privacy.
Seeming undaunted by her apparent turn down, he asked in determination, “What did you bring?”
“A tuna sandwich, chips, and a couple of cookies.” It wasn’t impressive, but it’s what she had.
He ambled toward a nearby table and pulled out one of the chairs. He eased down and stretched his long legs out. “What kind of cookies? Homemade?”
Obviously he wasn’t planning on leaving. She sighed and accepted that she would be having a companion for lunch. “Chocolate chip and, yes, I made them.”
He nodded, took off his Stetson and set it crown down on the table. “I’ll take those. You can have the sandwich and chips. I’m not big on tuna fish.”
She went into the back room and grabbed her lunch bag and a couple of bottles of water from the small refrigerator. When she walked back into the main room, he was studying a nearby shelf with some current bestsellers.
“Camden’s dyslexic,” he blurted out, frowning. “That bother you?”
What an odd way to start a conversation, but then this was Samuel Grayson. She doubted there was another man like him. She set everything on the table and shook her head. “No, why should it?” She did feel a wave of sympathy for him, knowing how much frustration he must have faced in life because of it.
“Because you work in a library. Books are your life.” He reached for the paper bag and pulled out a baggie of cookies.
She took the chair opposite him and pushed a bottle of water in his direction. “I work in a library, yes. But books are not my life. I like other things, too.” She looked directly at him. “Are you testing me for some reason?”
“What if I am? I love my boys and I don’t want to see any of them hurt.” He held her gaze.
Had one of them said something to him about her? Why else would he be here basically warning her? She took the lid off of her water bottle. “I don’t go around hurting people.
And I certainly wouldn’t dream of hurting Camden. He’s a good man.”
He smiled at that. “One of the best.” He pulled out a cookie. “What about Doug? What are your intentions toward him?”
“My intentions?” she squeaked. What did he know? What did he suspect?
Before she could answer the front door opened and the bell jangled above it. Victoria walked in and immediately zeroed in on Samuel. Her expression was tight with annoyance. “What are you doing here?”
“I don’t have to explain myself,” he snapped, but he studied the cookie in his hand. “What about you? Don’t you have mayoring business to take care of ?”
She rolled her eyes and marched over to stand and look down at him. “It would be mayoral business. But, no, I don’t have anything pressing at the moment.” She thinned her lips for a second. “Except I need to have a few words with Colt.”
Samuel glanced up, sighing. “What are you and my son arguing about now?”
Rose watched her friend stiffen her shoulders and clutch her shoulder bag tighter. “It’s between him and me.” She went on the attack again. “Are you trying to give my friend grief over something? About Doug or Camden?”
He straightened and jutted out his chin. “Not grief. I’m just on a mission to protect my boys.”
“From me?” Rose asked in shock.
He pinned his gaze on her. “You came to the ranch with one of them and left with the other. That’s not right, no matter what either of them said at the time.”
She’d felt that way as well, but they’d each insisted on what had happened. What would he think if he knew she was seeing both of them at the same time? Surely he wouldn’t know about their time together at Camden’s last Saturday. But he might have heard about Doug dropping by to see her a few days ago when he came to town for supplies. He might have heard that they’d gone to lunch at the diner. And then Camden had shown up yesterday before she left the library to ask her to dinner at the steak house in the next town. She chose not to answer.
“They’re grown men, Samuel Grayson,” Victoria defended. “They can make decisions of their own. As far as I know, they’re both friends with Rose. And there is nothing wrong with that.”
“That’s right. We’re all friends.” Much more than that, but he did not need to know. “Are you here to ask me to stop being friends with them?”
Now he looked uneasy. “Well, no. Fact is, I like you, too.” He broke apart the cookie but before he put a piece in his mouth, he added, “I just worry about them two. Probably more than any of the others. Especially Doug.”
He glanced at Victoria and then back to his cookie. “Doug suffered more as a young boy than anyone should ever have to, even worse as a teenager. What he went through haunts him to this day. I doubt he’ll ever get over it.”
Her heart pinched at being reminded of something extremely tragic in Doug’s background. As thinking about it always did to her, she wanted to hug him, to protect him, to heal him however she could. She blinked back tears, hoping Samuel didn’t see them.
He studied her, slowly nodding approval. “You really do care for my boy, don’t you?” He heaved a sigh and once more looked up at Victoria. “Now I’m worried about you, Rose. I don’t want to see you get hurt, either. And Doug just might do it without meaning to.”
She wanted to ask about Camden, was curious about some tiny piece of his former life. But she couldn’t ask. Just as she couldn’t question Doug about his past. They would have to share with her, when they could, what they could.
Suddenly Samuel stood, popped the cookie piece into his mouth, and snagged his hat. “Best be getting back to the ranch. Can’t be away too long or all hell breaks out.”
Victoria shook her head in amusement and Rose nodded in understanding. “I’ll walk out with you.” Victoria waited until he planted his hat on his head before taking his arm and tugging him with her. She looked toward Rose. “Call me later.”
Watching them leave, Rose sat back and felt a wave of loneliness sweep over her. As complicated as the situation was between them, she missed Doug and Camden.
* * * *
One busy day blended into another and before Rose knew it almost a week had gone by since Samuel had stopped in to see h
er at the library. She hadn’t seen or heard from the Grayson brothers either. She didn’t feel comfortable with calling them so she spent her nights becoming friends with her vibrator again. It was a very pitiful replacement for the men in her life. She was considering going to the local honky tonk on Saturday night with Victoria, but had mixed feelings about that. She didn’t want any other men asking her to dance. She was finally in the mood to try her legs out, see if she could handle some form of dancing again. If only Doug or Camden or both of them would take her…
She pushed the thought aside and concentrated on locking up the library. It was Friday night and the week had been a busy one with the new children’s activities and with her making plans to teach ballet to a Girl Scout troop whose leader had asked her about it. She was tired, ready to head home. She was also bummed because neither Doug nor Camden had called. Maybe they had used her after all. Maybe they weren’t as attracted as they’d acted. Maybe she’d been just another woman to tumble in their bed.
As she turned the Closed sign around, she spotted Victoria zipping up in front in her flashy Mustang. She groaned inwardly, certain her new friend was on another need-to-cheerRose-up mission. She’d been trying all week to get her to open up about what was troubling her. But this was something she couldn’t share with anyone, especially not a woman who had once been part of the Grayson family.
She planted a smile she didn’t feel on her face and walked over to the car before Victoria could get out. “No. Whatever it is, no.”
Victoria wasn’t an easily swayed woman. “You don’t even know what I came to say.” She looked with purpose at her. “You need furniture, and I have a friend who has a great furniture store in Denver.”
Rose shook her head. Just the idea of going to Denver, where her family lived, was uncomfortable. They had been trying to get her to come see them. She wasn’t ready to do that. Her life was still in transition, maybe more so now with trying to figure out what was going between her, Doug and Camden. “Some other time.”