Shards Book One

by Peter W Prellwitz

  I continued for some time, eagerly using my mind and the available facts to settle myself into my new world. Somewhere along the line, about the time I had reduced the number to less than 300 years, I drifted off into normal sleep inside my Healer's Sleep.

  ****

  I woke up twice in the night. The first time, it was because of another presence in the room. My visitor had a much lighter, feminine step, and she seemed to move about with the confidence of someone going about their duties. She picked up my wrist and took my pulse quietly, but didn't try not to wake me. Her hand was a decided improvement on Dr. Barrett's steam shovels. It was nice that science hadn't completely eliminated the human touch. Presently she took it again at my neck. Satisfied, she moved up closer to my head. I heard a soft voice say,? Increase nutrients by six point five percent and restoration fluid by fourteen percent, Doctor Philip Barrett authorization 4699NRF.? I felt a cool tingle in my left arm that spread quickly through my body then faded. I was in the same state, but seemed stronger somehow.

  She moved away to another corner of the room and there came the sound of water running. I heard her walk back, rolling what had to be a table with the water. Warm, soft hands then pulled back the sheets and undid my hospital garb, and I was the recipient of the most glorious sponge bath since the invention of medicine. I was extremely glad my mind and body weren't connected. If I could have physically responded to mental impulses, she probably would have hit me with a bedpan, if they still existed. All too soon, she finished up, clothed me, pulled the covers back up, and left. Like Dr. Barrett, she made no noise when she departed, but I could feel that I was alone again, though much happier. I went back to sleep.

  The second time I woke up, it was due to internal stimuli, rather than external. The increase in nutrients and fluids had had their effect. I still couldn't move, speak or see, but I could definitely go, to put it indelicately. And I went, hoping that the fictional bedpan that the nurse didn't hit me with had been replaced by something more functional and… automatic. The sensation of emptying one's bladder while in Healer's Sleep was another experience, one I won't go into great detail about here. The sensation was entirely internal, rather than the more familiar internal/external feeling I associated it with. But when I was done the sheets weren't any warmer, so I gave it no thought and went back to sleep.

  ****

  "Wake up. Good morning! Time to wake up!? Dr. Barrett's soft gruffness and hand holding were in full force. I was still a little uncomfortable with it, but had decided to accept it and try to like it. During my brainstorming last night, the reason for his physical touch between two men, even in a doctor/patient relationship, became pretty clear. Society had moved to the position of the acceptability of pseudo-intimate touch between men. While still a little uncomfortable with it, I was glad to receive contact from my new world other than just audio. So I tried to appreciate it.

  My thinking must have shown I was awake, for he began speaking directly to me.? Well! Good morning! I hope you had a pleasant night's sleep. I understand that the increase in nutrients and fluids have begun stirring you out of your Healer's Sleep. Would you like to wake up all the way now? Just nod your head."

  I felt myself nodding automatically, but as soon as I realized it, my head stopped. I tried to start nodding again-any voluntary motion was wonderful-but couldn't. It was maddening. He chuckled.

  "Excellent! But don't try anything more. Whatever you have to think about, you probably won't be able to do. But not to worry. Judging by your progress, you should emerge sometime tonight, maybe early tomorrow morning. Very fortunate timing.? I waited for him to expand on that, but he continued.?

  Again, when you do wake up, just speak up. Say something like, 'Please contact Doctor Barrett,' and the computer will notify me immediately. Don't bother to give your name, because I haven't the foggiest idea what it is.? I involuntarily held my breath for a moment with surprise. He must really know his patients because he spotted it, and laughed.

  "Surprised? Don't be. I only know you from your false persona. The way our group works… well, let's pick up from where I left off, okay? I'll conduct a quick physical while talking. Should do something to earn my keep. Don't be upset with the different sensations you'll feel. Healer's Sleep has a way of warping your perceptions, especially in its closing stages."

  I felt the sheets being drawn back, and the doctor begin plying his trade. He talked while he performed the physical, which was a far less pleasant sensation than my sponge bath. I tried to picture the nurse and her attentions instead of Dr. Barrett, but the thought of her was little comfort. Odd.

  "Before you tired last night, I believe I had gotten to the point in my story where the government had released the wipe/re-write process to the business industry. By the way, the idiomatic term for wiping and rewriting process is 'ripe'. It's a blend of the two words, though reversed. I suppose it became popular in its day because of its similarity to 'rape', which this most definitely could be, used against one's will. Which, once the industries got their hands on it, it most certainly was.

  "It was bad enough with the government having a monopoly. But at least they didn't market the thing.

  Once legalized for anyone who became licensed, though, it turned into a nightmare. It began being used as a tease for the high level jobs. If you were willing to submit, you could become a wealthy company executive within the week. I'm shocked that there was any appeal to it at all. But for some reason, there was. The economy at the time was robust enough, but the moral fiber had worn thin. Many 'applicants', mostly single people, submitted to the process. The employer allowed the employee to decide the persona, and added their own needs, usually high level education, loyalty and firm work ethic. It's amazing what people will give up for credits."

  He finished the examination and pulled the sheets back up. He'd been right; it had felt different. I'd have sworn I had at least six arms and no torso. I had also felt terribly exposed, with the overwhelming urge to curl up into a ball.

  "Anyway, this incredible situation went on for several… er, some time before it was finally discovered by one of the watchdog groups, a more extreme one, that many companies were not giving out just cushy jobs. They were also riping people for the dangerous jobs, the jobs nobody in their right minds would take, pun intended.

  "Further, this same extremist group had been uncovering a very scary trend. As riping became popular, homelessness had plummeted. This was attributed to the fact that a riping could radically change anyone's views, ethics and even mental symptoms of addiction. Remember, it was for the first two reasons that riping first spread into the penal system. No one had asked how, why, or most importantly where these homeless went. Most were just glad they were gone.

  "Then one day, during an… action against a large corporation, this extremist group discovered that the entire security system was being controlled by a homeless person who had been riped. Against his will.

  "Once this story had been told and proven over and over, the whole thing tumbled down. Everyone was willing to give up everything to get ahead, but only on their say-so. Now it was being decided by others.

  That fine line that dictates whether a practice will be tolerated or abolished had been crossed. It had taken years for riping to become commonplace. It took days to eliminate it. In less than a week, the government seized control of the riping process and invalidated every public sector license issued. It then passed very comprehensive laws, enforced by very comprehensive punishments, to utterly abolish riping.

  To its credit, both the public and their servants reacted swiftly and completely.

  "With two glaring exceptions. First was the exemption given to convicted killers and catatonic patients.

  They are still riped today.? Barrett snorted in disgust.? They will never learn. Or maybe they did.

  There's deep suspicion that not all convicted killers and catatonic patients were actually that at the time of riping.

  "The second exception is
the infamous 'grandfather clause'. The government did abolish riping. Totally.

  But it allowed those who had already been riped to continue on in their current state, until death by natural causes. By now, a process had been developed, of which you are a recipient, to restore the original persona, with only moderate risk to the individual. Many people thought this would be the proper thing to do, and there was a considerable movement to pass this law. But successful pressure was brought to bear by those standing to lose, and the government, perhaps aware how much power still resided in the corporate circle, caved in and permitted ripes to remain as they were. Further, they made it illegal to even attempt original persona restorations. And that's the way it remains today."

  Even if I had been able to say something, I doubt I could have. This was an incredible tale, a terrifying tale. Could we have so married ourselves to technology that we would submit to it, rather than it to us?

  Another thought nagged at me; if the government had reverted to Dred Scott logic, where did that put me? And the good doctor, who had virtually confessed to a criminal activity, a criminal career, restoring original personas? My want to get out of this Healer's Sleep took on a desperate tone.

  "If you're wondering why I've told you this, admitting to illegal activity, well, I think you deserve an answer. First, I must tell you that you will not be sought or prosecuted. It was determined very early on that restored personas could in no way be held responsible for actions performed on them before their restoration. You do have another concern I'll have to tell you about, though. Later.

  "The reasons I've told you all this are both selfless and selfish. They are selfish because although I firmly believe in what I do, it is still salve for my soul to have my patient's understanding. They are selfless, because I've now admitted to a crime, voluntarily, to you. And under law, your testimony can have me imprisoned or executed. But you need to know this because the society you will soon be a part of is so different. We've managed to estimate the date of your original riping, and you're one of the first, if it's true. You also need to know because I'm sure you've figured out that this is an illegal facility, and Lieutenant Sanchez, the base commander, has told us we may need to leave very soon. It would help immensely if we had your conscious cooperation when that time comes. There are other reasons, which I'll tell you upon awakening."

  He walked to the top of my bed and spoke to the wall,? Increase nutrients by thirteen percent and restoration fluid by twenty-one percent, Doctor Philip Barrett authorization 4699NRF.? Again I felt the surge and cool tingle in my arm that washed over my whole body then disappeared like a flash flood into the desert sand. And again I was left with a feeling of strength.

  And this time I also saw the ceiling. For a moment, my vision returned. It was very blurry and lasted only briefly. But it was enough to see the lighting directly above me and a instrumentation panel on my left. I saw a blur walk back to my right side, and it took everything I had to not turn my head. But for one second of time, I was certain I could have turned it had I wished to. Then the second was gone and I was blind and helpless again.

  "That should continue easing the Healer's Sleep. Not too fast, though. From my examination just now and the readings from last night, it appears you'll be ready no sooner than tomorrow night. That is a longer time than usual, but still within norms. Sorry if I got your hopes up. In the meantime, please take advantage of this time to heal and adjust to this impossible situation. I can't stress enough how important it is that you trust me, at least until you've oriented yourself to our culture.? I could almost sense his smile.? I am your doctor, after all. Well, get some sleep. We'll talk again this evening."

  As he left-I still couldn't place the door, but his footsteps seemed to indicate it was located on my right-I thought, Yeah, we'll talk again this evening. And never again, if I get my way.

  Chapter Two

  The morning and afternoon passed at a snail's pace. There was nothing I could do but continue to work out an escape plan. But first, I had to rouse myself out of this Healer's Sleep. Dr. Barrett had made an allusion to the dangers of being brought out too soon, but I was nearing the final stages, and in any event, I wasn't fond of the thought of staying in this helpless state any longer. If they had to suddenly bug out, I didn't particularly relish the idea of being hauled around like so much inert cargo, nor being left behind.

  He'd told me there would be no legal repercussions, but it wouldn't look good, getting caught during treatment at an illegal medical facility.

  Since it would be pointless to make plans if I couldn't carry them out, the first order of business was to see if I could wake myself. I stared into the darkness and visualized the ceiling. I pictured burning through the black to the light fixture above me. At the same time, I tightened my muscles to raise my right arm to that light. I didn't fool with my left arm because it was attached somehow to the nutrient machine and I didn't want to set off an alarm.

  I failed miserably. If anything, the darkness became pitch, and my arm seemed completely detached. I felt like crying with frustration. Brute force wasn't going to do it. I fought back the sense of failure rising in me and calmed myself.

  I had tried to force myself awake, but that seemed to deepen the effect. Logically, the reverse action would give the reverse effect. That would seem to fit with earlier experience, when I had nodded without thinking. Perhaps that was the key. Relaxing, I tried to drift into a state of idle interest in what the ceiling looked like. I knew what I expected to see, so I just glanced at it, expecting to see it again.

  And there it was. The light looked like it had a heavy screen over it, and not much light was coming from it to begin with, but I still saw it. I reached up to brush away the screen and I felt my right hand twitch and raise slightly. I was so excited by this sudden success that I eagerly reached my hand to my face. It fell limp again. This was going to take some time.

  And I had plenty of it. I worked for about two hours. By the end of that time, the light looked semi-bright, I had flexed my toes, lifted my right hand about six inches, and even turned my head a fraction of an inch. The whole thing left me weak but satisfied. And I didn't want to accomplish too much, too soon. It was pretty certain that illegal though they may be, this outfit still had equipment good enough to determine a conscious and unconscious state in Healer's Sleep. I'd have bet a week's pay it could tell if the Sleep had worn off entirely. It suited me that it didn't wear off until after Dr. Barrett's evening visit. So I eased off on my attempts and began to work out the logistics of my upcoming escape.

  I must have tired myself out a little more than I thought, for I suddenly woke up. The nurse had returned and was performing her duties. No sponge bath this time, but I didn't mind. Though I didn't seem excited about her touching me anymore, I didn't want to put it to the test. Instead, I lay quietly, hoping she'd finish and leave, which she did. I was hoping she'd increase my nutrients, but no, I was apparently at the point they wanted me at. I was disappointed. I'd have to hope the good doctor would increase them.

  Unfortunately, since I'd fallen asleep, I had no idea what time it was. I worked out the final details of my actions-there weren't many-and decided to sleep again. With luck, I'd be awake all night tonight, making my way to someplace else.

  Dr. Barrett showed up, but he was all business this time. His visit was brisk, his examination perfunctory, both fine with me. He talked little, except to assure me that I was right on schedule and could expect to be awake late the following morning. He pulled the sheets up, wished me good night, and left. He seemed to have a lot on his mind. Again, that was fine with me. If he was busy with other things, he'd take his mind off his helpless patient.

  I wanted to wait about twenty minutes to be sure he hadn't forgotten anything and return unexpectedly, but I cut that off after ten. I had no idea when the nurse would return for her nocturnal visit, but I knew I couldn't risk even a pulse taking if I wanted to be fully awake. I had to act now. The doctor had not inc
reased my nutrients, so I would have to try. I relaxed again and absently thought about the ceiling light.

  I caught my breath as it turned from a broad white haze into a soft glob then into a blurry object with half seen edges. I then spent the next hour reciting over and over exactly what I wanted to say. It was critically important that I could say it without thinking.

  I reached the point where I could say it in my sleep, then casually mentioned out loud, more as an afterthought,? Increase nutrients by nineteen point five percent and restoration fluid by twenty-eight percent, Doctor Philip Barrett authorization 4699NRF.? I'd made a mental note of the increases and authorization number and hoped it was the right dosage and was not voice coded.

  I felt a wonderful chill in my left arm that felt like icicles in my muscles. It poured into my whole body and made me shiver involuntary. That shiver was like a magic key. Suddenly, even as the chill faded, I felt the real me come to life. It was incredible. Until now, I could feel when touched, but now I could just plain feel. The light above my head came sharply into focus, though it stayed dim. Night lighting, I assumed. I stretched my legs slightly and they felt just the way they should. I brought up my right hand and looked at it. Relief washed over me as I recognized it as my hand. I'd half expected a withered claw, but no, it was just as I'd left it a couple of centuries ago, give or take a hundred years. I quietly thanked the inventor of suspended animation.