cravingpenelope

by Crymsyn Hart

  She giggled and was amazed at his earnest. Her body still sang from having the best sex of her life. First, she needed to catch her breath. Then Razziel was already suggesting they go back into her bedroom to go at it a second time when she still had so many questions. “Wait. Just give me a second to breathe. Please. Remember, I’m human even if you’re not, and I need to process everything.”

  A smile darted across his features, but she saw the trepidation that lingered in his eyes. He was nervous. Her newfound protector had been so brash before, and now it seemed he was lost and did not know what to do. She realized this was all new to him. Penelope might not have been able to read his emotions, but she could read it just from his words and his actions. She unwound her leg from his waist, and he slipped out of her so that the water still splashed over her.

  “Forgive me. Yes, of course. Take your time.” He began to step out of the tub when she touched his arm.

  “Don’t go. Stay here with me.”

  A puzzled expression crinkled his face. “There’s no need for me to be cleansed in this shower. I can easily will it so, and I will be dressed and dry.”

  She tried not to be impressed by his power and focused on what she was going to say. “Please, Razziel. You might enjoy it.”

  “All right.” He turned and faced her.

  Penelope grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the water until it was soaked. Then she rubbed the soap against the cloth. She ran it down her chest and over her breasts, noticing he never took his eyes from her hand, following it as she scrubbed it over her belly. She was about to clean her pussy when Razziel grabbed her wrist lightly and stopped her.

  “Something wrong?” she inquired.

  “Let me do that.” He took the washcloth and ran it over her slit, delving between her legs. He was gentle until he found her clit. She jumped and pressed herself against his hand, feeling the ecstasy of another rising orgasm threatening to take her away if he continued his manipulations of her. But he slowly moved down her legs until he lifted her foot and ran the cloth over the bottom of her foot. She jumped and giggled. Razziel glanced up and smiled. “You’re ticklish.”

  “Yes.”

  “Turn around.”

  Penelope held on to the shower bar. His fingers ran up the other side of her legs and stopped at her ass. From there, he planted a kiss on each mound before scrubbing them gently and probing between them. Razziel washed her back, slowly moving along the curve of her spine. She shivered when he threaded his fingers through hers and placed the cloth on the bar. Her lover moved her hair aside and kissed her neck. She threw her head back at the gentle kisses and wished they were in her bedroom where she could feel more of him and taste her lover without the water.

  “I understand why you enjoy this,” he whispered in her ear. “But I think you’d rather desire me outside of this warm fountain. I can cleanse you completely and make you dry if that’s what you want too, Penny.” Razziel skated his hands down her sides until his palms rested on her hips. The heat of his flesh stirred the passions within her. His prick pushed into her backside, and it enticed her once more.

  All the times they were together in her dreams, he had never really asked her what she wanted. It seemed he had always known. He was more forceful and it was not that she expected him to be the same way, but Penelope rather enjoyed him the way he was. There was an innocence to Razziel as though he was a virgin in most things, but she was not about to come out and ask him. What kind of being had come into her life and saved her from the daemon that tried to abduct her, and who was that thing taking her to? So many questions ran through her mind, she was not sure where to start. Razziel trailed his soft lips over the curve of her shoulder blade, and she felt his tongue flicking over her flesh. His words rang in her ears.

  “Yes. I’d rather be with you in my bed. Warm and dry, but this time you have to let me take the lead.”

  “Anything you wish, dear.”

  A hot blast of air bubbled around her as though she had gone through a blow-dryer, and the world moved. When it stopped and her head cleared, they were back in her room on her bed. Razziel was lying beside her, propped up on one arm, staring at her. Penelope glanced in the direction of the shower, but did not hear it running. “Did you turn the water off too?”

  “Yes. Easy enough. Now what was it you had in mind? I can see the things running through your thoughts.”

  He was correct. There were so many things she wished to ask him. Lying in her bed, she noticed his feet hung off the end of the mattress because it was too short and it could barely hold the two of them. She had a full-sized bed because she never had anyone sleep over and it was enough space for her and Petey, who always snuck under the covers with her. But staring into Razziel’s amazingly blue eyes, she forgot about her cat. Penelope felt her cheeks sear from blushing so hard as her gaze traversed the magnificent expanse of his muscled chest. “What are you?”

  “I’m many things. Protector. Watcher. And I don’t know.” He shook his head.

  “What is it?” She touched his chest.

  “I came here because of you. All the dreams we’ve had, I thought they were just dalliances to pass the time, but you bewitched me, drawing me back to you over and over again until….” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  Penelope did not understand what he was getting at. How could she have bewitched him? He was the man who appeared in her dreams, giving her pleasure beyond her wildest imagination and never letting up until her body slipped back to consciousness. So many times she assumed she was going crazy, but he was real, and now he was right before her. Razziel was accusing her of putting a spell on him. She touched his chest, and he gazed at her.

  “I don’t have the power to put a spell on you.” Penelope thought back to what she had seen in the shower, the outline of his wings. How her attacker said he had gotten blown off track. How he could cleanse the blood away. “You’re an angel.”

  “Yes. I’m an angel. Mostly I watch humans. It’s part of my assignment to learn more about them.”

  “So you slipped into my dreams to learn more about me and decided to have sex with me?”

  He ran his fingers over the wrinkles in her sheet. She noticed his nails were perfectly rounded and glistened in the little bit of light in the room. He had no marks or freckles on his skin and no hair on his body. His nipples were rose pink and puckered from the chill in the air. His dick was semi-erect and still waited to be used, but the oddest thing about him was that Razziel had no navel.

  “It wasn’t supposed to be that way. You were like the rest. I observed your daily life, but something else about you intrigued me. At first I watched your dreams. We’re not supposed to interfere. Not supposed to let humans know who we are; that was why I could never show myself to you. But something happened, and I wanted to know how you felt and why you were always so sad. Then we made love and it was wonderful, but I wanted more and more. Now I fear I’m going to be expelled from Heaven because of this.”

  She felt the blood drain from her face. Knowing that an angel who had been watching over her was going to be expelled from paradise because he had chosen to visit her on Earth saddened her. “You can’t stay, then. You need to go back so you won’t get in trouble. I don’t want to be the cause of you being exiled.”

  “I can’t. I was told I had to walk my path so I could understand my destiny. I don’t know if my road is done, and I haven’t figured out the answer to why I really came here.”

  “Why did you come here?”

  “I needed to know why you make me feel.”

  “Make you feel? Don’t angels have emotions?”

  “Can’t you tell? You’re an empath. From all the times I spent watching you, I sensed all your emotions and how you have such an arduous time with people. You erect a wall so you don’t feel their emotions. Feelings are something beyond me. I’ve never undergone the gambit of what I’ve been feeling when I’m with you. They can’t stop. This wanting I have for you. It�
�s a lust that I need to take you right now, to be deep inside of you. I can barely contain myself so that I don’t hurt you. I know it’s wrong to feel this way. If I act upon them, these dark impulses will surely throw me from Heaven. Can’t you tell how I’m feeling now?”

  Penelope shook her head. “No.”

  “How is that possible? You must be able to experience what I am feeling. This is all because of you.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. She let out a small cry from the pain shooting up her arm. She bit her lip and saw the crazed look in his eye. “You have to know it.” Razziel squeezed her wrist.

  “Stop.” Tears came to her eyes from the force of his grip.

  “Why? You were the one who drew me down here. You were the one who lured me from Heaven. Now I have these feelings when I didn’t before.” The tendons stood out in his neck, and his face had turned a dark red from his anger.

  “You’re hurting me.” A tear tumbled down her cheek. “I thought you weren’t like that thing you destroyed.” Penelope tried to slip out of his clutches, but he held her fast. The fear she originally had for him returned, and she did not know what she would do. She had to get away from him. Their union in the shower slipped from her mind and was replaced by terror.

  * * * *

  Razziel stared at Penelope. The rage he felt mixed with confusion and his lust for her. It was a ball of emotions he did not know how to unravel, and she was the only one who could untangle it for him. And now she was telling him she could not feel what he was. It only aggravated him more. The quick encounter they had together made his heart quicken, but seeing her shirking from him, he realized he had gone too far. Razziel looked at his hand and saw it was clasped around her hand, and he was squeezing it hard. All he desired were answers and why he was feeling. Angels did not have emotions, at least not human ones. Love, he was full of it, but desire, lust, rage, these were all foreign to him. And it burned him up. Surely, she was the key.

  Now Penelope was saying she had no idea. As the tear fell down her cheek and fear radiated from her, he understood he had overstepped his bounds. He released her wrist and touched her cheek, brushing the glistening drop away. It transfixed him. Razziel had never witnessed a real human tear before. It appeared to be a diamond about to be crushed, a star gleaming in the light shed to fall from the sky. Either one of those was a travesty. Staring at it, the folly of his actions hit him. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was hurt her.

  “Forgive me!” He wrenched his hand away from her as though he had been struck with a bolt of lightning. Hurting this woman would mark him for the Fallen because he had gone against everything he stood for. He scuttled from the bed and hit the floor. The shadows seemed to be closing in around him. The weight of the world pressed upon him. The room was too small to contain his wings. He had to repent for what he had done. How would Penelope ever look at him the same way again? Razziel hit the wall and slid down. What would Lemiel say if he saw this? What would the other angels say? The weight on his shoulders already confirmed that he was sinking lower. He wondered when his wings would fall off. He slid down and dropped to his knees, curling up into a ball. The sorrow and the depth of his sinking to the lower realms were heaped on his shoulders.

  “Hey.” Penelope’s sweet voice came to him through the ditch he had dug himself into. It was not fair for him to look upon her beauty. He had defiled her, hurting her, as she fell victim to the dark compulsions he had given himself over to. Razziel could not look upon her. Everything he had done. The ecstasy of being inside of her was something he would cherish for an eternity. But she was better off without him. No human could ever get involved with a Fallen; it would only damn her soul, and he could not do that to her.

  “Go away! It was a mistake coming here. I will not damn you any further,” he said through his hands.

  She tried to free his hands from his face. “Razziel, look at me. Please!” Penelope pulled one hand from his face and brought it to her lips, kissing his palm. Those supple lips and touch made him look up. Penelope’s eyes were filled with concern and longing.

  “All I can do is bring you pain. I hurt you. Forgive me.”

  She slid her fingers through his hair. He sucked in a breath, hardly believing that she was showing him kindness. The dark pit was filling with light, and she was that salvation. Penelope was his angel to rescue him, but he never thought he would need rescuing. All his existence he had been the one watching out for humans and the first time he had gotten involved with one, he had screwed it up. He realized that. Razziel had to pay for the insolence he had shown. But it was difficult to resist her subtle caress. He gazed into her eyes and saw such forgiveness it seemed he was staring into the face of the holy one, and he forgot everything.

  “I’m fine. It’s fine.” She took his other hand and held it over her heart. With her free hand, she placed it over his heart and closed her eyes.

  “What are you doing?” he whispered.

  “Shh…let me in.”

  “How? Why?”

  Penelope opened her eyes and stared at him. “You asked me to trust you. Now trust me.”

  “How can you trust me when I’ve hurt you?” Razziel asked.

  “Because I know you would never truly hurt me. What just happened doesn’t matter. Razziel, let me in.” Penelope kissed his lips lightly.

  A sense of peace washed over him when he gave in to the kiss. She had forgiven him. She wanted to know him more. Penelope was not pushing him away. She was not damning him. “Angels are never supposed to feel carnal love. All of these emotions are ravaging my heart. I don’t understand them.” His wings pressed against the wall. One thing he was never supposed to do was reveal himself to a human. She had already given him consent to lay with her and share physical space. He did not have to hide his nature anymore. With that knowledge, he opened himself up, letting all the powers of his station and who he was manifest.

  Penelope sucked in a breath. When his gaze went to her face instead of the horror he expected to find, all he saw was acceptance. Her grip tightened on his fingers, and tears rimmed her eyes. Razziel felt her heart racing and the blood warming in her body. His power raged through her, and it had to run its course. The golden glow touched her flesh and bathed her in warm light. Time froze around them. He waited to see if her heart would stop beating or explode from the radiance of being exposed to his mighty power. Those tears trailed down her cheeks and shimmered in the light. The storm raged outside, yet he wondered if it would break out in the house as well.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “You see me now, yes?”

  Still Penelope remained silent. Razziel was not sure how to take her silence. So far she had not been struck down by Heaven, and her heart had not died in her chest. That gave him some hope.

  “You asked me to let you in. Now you know.” When he moved, he stretched his wings and curled the ends of them around her. She released his hand and touched his wing.

  “Amazing.” Her fingers trailed over the edges of his feathers. The caress radiated along his wings and down his spine, going straight to his prick and hardening it.

  “My wings?”

  “No,” Penelope answered softly.

  “Then what?”

  “So much love. I can feel what you feel. Your emotions are bright and warm. You care about me. Your love is pure, nothing like human emotions. I can’t describe it.”

  “Even the bad.”

  She sniffled. “The darkness is mostly confusion. It doesn’t matter. You’re not evil. You’re too good to be evil.”

  “But I lusted after you. I came here only to covet you and figure out why you made me feel this way.”

  “You saved me. That’s all that mattered.”

  “But….”

  She shook her head. “There is no but. You already know the answer to why you really came here.”

  “Why is that?”

  Penelope didn’t answer him except to lean in a
nd place her lips upon his. Razziel returned the kiss and it was slow, full of wanting, but he realized it was not his wanting. Penelope was the one who needed to be sated. Now that all of his walls had come down, he could read her in a way he could not before. She thought she would never find anyone to be with and die alone.

  When he entered her dreams, he brought her the joy he thought she needed, but it was so much more than that. Razziel saw now that Penelope was more complex and needed someone with her to feel whole. She had been hiding from the world because she felt its horrors. Her empathy hindered her.

  At this moment in time, he understood that this was not about him. It was all about Penelope and what she deserved. And she deserved to be pleasured and given more satisfaction than any other human being because she had opened his eyes to the way things really were. She was all that mattered. If something or someone else was going to come after her, he would make sure that nothing would get past him. Penelope pulled away, and he sensed the sadness that had fallen across her soul. Now that she was open to him, he was also open to all of her emotions.

  “What is it?”

  “You don’t want me now.”

  He saw the tiny shivers running through her skin. Penelope began to cover her beautiful body. He caught her wrist, lightly this time, and pulled her up against him when he stood up. Razziel wrapped her in his wings to keep her warm and pressed her hand to his chest. “Of course I want you. You’ve opened my eyes to things I didn’t see before. I swear to you I won’t let anything hurt you. And now I can truly show you the passion and the depths of your soul that we both know you’re hiding from.”

  Razziel claimed her lips, and this time he knew he was not going to let her go until she was completely and utterly his. He might have put his mark upon her in Penelope’s dreams, but he was going to brand her so that no one else would ever try and take her again. She was his, and he was just beginning to realize what that truly meant.