All I've Never Wanted

by Ana Huang

  I shook my head, hoping to clear it, and wolfed down another mouthful of food.

  Somehow, I’d gotten my appetite back.

  Weird.

  * * *

  When I got home after school the next day, I was shocked to see my parents at the kitchen table, while my grandmother tottered around the kitchen, making her favorite chrysanthemum tea and muttering about how too much coffee caused people to grow wings.

  She was a strange lady, my grandma.

  “Hi, Maya!” my mother chirped, grimacing slightly as she took a sip of tea. She was obviously missing her usual java fix. “How was school?”

  “Fine.” I gripped the straps of my backpack tighter and glared at my dad. “What are you doing here?”

  “I…came back from my trip early, sweetie,” he said, clearing his throat and giving me a strained smile.

  My mom stared at me curiously. Usually, I was always incredibly excited when my dad came home, and I always, always greeted him with a huge hug. I was a total daddy’s girl.

  Or at least, I used to be.

  “Really? And where was the trip to again?” I asked in a sickly sweet voice.

  My dad shot me a look that was half-pained, half-warning, which made me even angrier. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to waltz back in here like nothing was wrong!

  Before he could say anything, my grandmother thrust a cup of tea at me. “Your memory so bad, Maya,” she scolded me. “He said many times before he go to Chicago.” She stared disapprovingly at my skirt. “Why skirt so short? Higher the hem, more brain cells you lose! Maybe that why you no remember. Have some tea. Good for mind.”

  My lips flattened into a thin line as I silently accepted the tea. I’d gotten home late last night, well after everyone else had gone to sleep, and so this was the first time I’d seen my mom since I saw my dad with that…that woman.

  I was still torn about what I should do, but it sure as hell didn’t feel right, standing there and trying to pretend everything was ok when it so, so wasn’t.

  “Actually, Maya, we have some news for you,” my mom chirped, discreetly pouring some of her tea back into the pot when my grandmother wasn’t looking.

  “Yeah, what’s that?” I mumbled, reaching for the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the kitchen counter.

  Chocolate always makes me feel better.

  My grandmother swatted my hand away. “No chocolate for you. You need to lose weight. Your butt too big. No one want to marry girl with big butt.”

  I groaned, wondering what it was about her and my butt. Seriously, this was like the fifteenth reference she’d made to it! “People like big butts nowadays, grandma. It’s in fashion. Just look at Kim Kardashian.”

  She squinted at me. “Kim Katashi? Who that? She Japanese? Why you wanna be like Japanese girl?”

  I give up.

  My mom cleared her throat, gaining my attention again. “So, your dad and I have decided to go on a vacation!” she announced excitedly.

  I nearly spit out my tea. “What?” I choked.

  “Yep, we’re going on a two-week trip to Napa Valley!” My mom’s face was glowing. “We’re long due for a vacation really, and we’ve both got so many days racked up at work that we figured, why not? Especially since they’re having a deal that this adorable inn there, and we love wine, so—“

  As she babbled on, I stared hard at my dad, who was pretending to be engrossed in his newspaper when I knew for a fact he most definitely wasn’t. I didn’t even have to ask who came up with the idea with this “vacation.”

  Probably suggested it so he could get mom away before I choose to spill the beans, I thought with a sneer, even though I wasn’t sure if I would be. Spilling the beans, that is.

  God, that is just so…so underhanded!

  He was turning more and more into a stranger every day.

  “Well, Dad? Don’t you have something to say?” I asked pointedly, interrupting my mom mid-ramble.

  His head jerked up guiltily. “What do you mean?” he asked, visibly gulping.

  I gave him a big, fake smile. “Well, mom’s obviously sooo excited about this trip. Aren’t you?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Of course.” He laughed, a look of relief on his face. “Uh…you’ll be all right here with your grandmother for two weeks, won’t you?”

  “Me?” My grandmother looked at him sharply. “What you mean?”

  “Well…uh, since Shelly and I will be on the trip, it’ll only be you and Maya in the house for a bit,” my dad replied, obviously baffled.

  My grandmother scowled. “What you think I am? Babysitter? Maya my granddaughter but I no live here! I have life back home.” She sniffed. “There’s annual mah-jongg tournament next week. I leave Friday. No way I let that Rose beat me again!” Her scowl deepened. “Rose, what stupid name that is,” she muttered. “More like Loser Weed.”

  “You’re leaving this Friday? But we leave Sunday!” My dad turned to face my mom. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “Oh, right.” My mom looked embarrassed. “I was just so excited it slipped my mind…”

  I didn’t see what the big deal was. “So I’ll just stay here by myself. I’m seventeen, I can handle it.”

  This was actually not a bad development. I needed the two weeks to figure out what I was going to do about the whole my-dad-is-cheating thing.

  “What? No good!” my grandmother shrieked, waving a spatula frantically in the air. When did she get that out, anyway? “You girl! You cannot stay in house all by yourself for two weeks! Very, very dangerous!”

  “Grandma, it’s Valesca,” I explained patiently. “The most dangerous things here are those birds that come out of nowhere and poop on you.”

  But my grandmother wasn’t having it. “No.” She pointed the spatula at me. “You dating Parker now! I no want you and him in house by yourself when you having sex.”

  My dad spewed his tea all over the table.

  “Kids these days, they get up to kinky stuff when parents no around,” my grandmother continued. “I want grandchildren, but I no like kinky!”

  “Parker? Who’s Parker? And why would you be getting kinky with him?” my dad sputtered.

  “Parker’s her boyfriend, dear,” my mom informed him serenely.

  Yeah, and you’d know that, if you weren’t so busy getting “kinky” with some slut yourself, I thought nastily, a bit appalled by my meanness. He deserved it though!

  “I’m not going to be getting…’kinky’ with him!” I protested. “I can handle two weeks by myself! There’s no other option!”

  “No!” My grandma stared at my parents. “Why you no postpone your trip till later?”

  “Mom, I trust Maya. I’m sure she’ll be fine,” my mom assured her.

  “No! Absolutely not! She can’t have the house to herself when she has a boyfriend,” my dad said vehemently. “We can just…hire someone to look after her.”

  Like a babysitter?

  My jaw dropped as fury rose up in me. “Are you kidding me?” I yelled, startling everyone in the kitchen. “I’m seventeen! I don’t need a babysitter for two weeks!” I clenched my fists. “God, you’re such a hypocrite!”

  Unable to take it anymore, I stormed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door, leaving my stunned family in the kitchen.

  * * *

  Later that night, I was on my computer, half-heartedly Facebook stalking people I didn’t even care about in an attempt to forget how shitty my life was when someone knocked on the door.

  “I’m sleeping,” I called out crankily, clicking on a random photo album.

  My face screwed up in disgust. Eeew! PDA overload! I shuddered and quickly exited the page. Some people seriously needed to keep their personal lives…personal.

  “Maya, can I come in please?”

  I stiffened. “I'm busy."

  “Please. I just need to talk to you for five minutes.”

  I gripped my computer mouse so tight I was surprised it didn’t break.
Finally, I pushed back my chair, stormed over to the door, and yanked it open.

  “Make it quick,” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

  My dad stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He looked nervous. “Look, I think we should talk about…” He cleared his throat. “About what happened yesterday.”

  “You think?” My voice was sarcastic.

  “Watch your tone, young lady,” he automatically said.

  I rolled my eyes. Like he had the authority to tell me to do anything anymore.

  “Ok, I just wanted to say…” My father took a deep breath. “I was on a date with someone else.”

  Even though I already knew, I couldn’t help but flinch when he finally admitted it.

  My dad’s eyes were pained. “I swear, I didn’t mean to lie to you or your mom. I just…” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “It gets hard sometimes, you know? I’m always traveling for work, and as wonderful as your mother is, sometimes she doesn’t necessarily get how much stress I’m under…Lexi, though, she does. She works for the same company I do—“

  “Are you in love with her?” I interrupted, my voice rather shaky.

  “What? No!” My father’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “No! Of course not. Maya, your mother’s the one I love, but it gets so damn lonely on the road—“

  And you just couldn’t keep it in your pants. God, men were such jerks. Even the ones whom I thought were one of the few good ones left.

  “—especially since we always end up on the same projects together. Honestly, though, yesterday was our first date.” My dad looked at me. “All the other times I’ve said I’ve been on business, I really was!”

  “With her.”

  He flushed slightly. “Sometimes. But it never went beyond flirting until…until recently. I know it was wrong of me. I swear, it’ll never happen again. Just…just don’t tell your mom, ok?”

  I couldn’t believe it. “You want me to keep this from her?” I hissed.

  I mean, I had thought about it, but it just seems so slimy for him to be the one to ask me to do it.

  “Maya! Just look at it from another perspective,” my dad pleaded. “Look, I promise, I won’t ever see or talk to Lexi again unless it’s for professional purposes. Your mom doesn’t need to know, it’ll destroy the entire family. It was just a mistake.”

  I swallowed. Maybe he had a point. I didn’t want my parents to divorce, even though my dad had made a major dick move. Most of all, though, I don’t think I could stand to see my mom in the pain I knew she’d be in if she found out.

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  “No,” my dad immediately said. “No, it never got that far. And it won’t. I promise.”

  I sighed, feeling exhausted. My brain hurt. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was just a mistake, and everything didn’t have to change.

  “How could you have even afforded that date anyway?” I muttered.

  “I got a new credit card your mom doesn’t know about,” my dad answered somewhat sheepishly.

  I snorted. How clever. Using a new card so my mom couldn’t see the charges. For someone who insisted it was a one-time thing, he certainly knew how to go about it.

  “And I guess that’s why I suggested the two week trip,” my dad added. “To help us… rekindle that spark, I guess. Actually spend some time together.”

  I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t even want to know what “rekindle that spark” meant.

  “And you promise it’ll never happen again?” I demanded.

  He nodded eagerly. “I promise.” He stared at me hopefully. “So, can we just keep this to ourselves? Please?”

  After some hesitation, I finally, reluctantly nodded. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  Not for him, or me, but for my mom and my family’s future.

  CHAPTER 13

  At school the next day, I was practically a zombie. I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night, and as a result, had slept through all of my morning classes. I was so distracted by my family drama that I wasn’t even freaking out about the fact that I was probably screwed for next week’s tests.

  “Maybe you should go home early today,” Venice suggested as we walked slowly to our next class. “You look like you’re about to collapse.”

  “I concur.”

  I whipped my heard around, and saw Adriana leaning against the wall outside the Scions’ private classroom. I hadn’t even noticed we were in this part of the school.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled. “I can’t just skip school.”

  “Don’t be silly,” the leggy blonde said, sounding exasperated. “You obviously need some serious R&R after yesterday. And if I’m right—which I usually am—you couldn’t sleep last night, hence why you’re walking around like a card-carrying member of the undead.”

  “Thanks. Do I look that horrible?” I asked dryly.

  “You’re getting there.”

  Adriana pushed herself off the wall and tossed her shining golden hair over her shoulder. As usual, she looked impeccable in a fitted suede jacket over a beaded tank and a pair of low-slung, perfectly faded Seven jeans that made her legs look miles long.

  “Anyway, I’ve already secured permission from the school to take you two out for a girls’ day. Or afternoon, really.”

  “Wait. You mean, I get to come too?”Venice asked excitedly, her green eyes even bigger than usual.

  “Why not? You’re Maya’s best friend, and she needs as many friends around her as possible.” Adriana gazed at me with a hint of sympathy in her aqua eyes.

  I shook my head. “Thanks for the offer but—“ Yawn. “I’ll be—“ Another yawn. “Fine.”

  “Do I need to kidnap you?”

  My face fell. If this kept up, I was going to break a world record for most kidnappings in a month. And I had no doubt Adriana would do it too.

  “When you put it that way,” I groused, looking longingly down the hall, though I didn’t know why. My next class was AP Calculus BC, and I hated math.

  Adriana looked pleased. “Good. Come on.” She began to walk down the hall towards the double glass doors that led outside.

  Venice, at least, didn’t seem to have any hesitation in ditching school as she practically ran after the blonde, obviously thrilled at the idea of being able to miss calculus.

  Sighing, I followed them into the backseat of a waiting chauffeured Rolls-Royce.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, settling comfortably into the plush leather seat.

  “La Maison de la Sérénité,” Adriana answered, putting on a pair of oversize Chanel sunglasses as she named the most expensive and exclusive spa in town.

  “Really? My mom loves that place,” Venice exclaimed. Leaning over, she whispered into my ear, “It’ll be good for you, Maya. I heard the masseuses there are amazing.”

  I shrugged. “Ok,” I said. My voice was lackluster, but I felt a spark of excitement.

  I’ve always wanted to go a spa.

  “So what are you going to do about the whole babysitter thing?” Venice asked. I had filled her in on everything during lunch, which I’d taken in the library because I was too tired to deal with the Scions today.

  Adriana’s head snapped up. “What babysitting thing?”

  I glumly explained my father’s threat to her, and I saw anger flash across her face.

  “Seriously? No offense, but that is so hypocritical of him,” she said, sounding annoyed.

  “That’s what I said. What can I do?” I slumped down in my seat.

  Adriana smirked. “Blackmail him?”

  “I’ve thought about it, but I just don’t think I can go through with it,” I said honestly. “It’s not in my personality.”

  She laughed. “That’s what I figured. You’re too nice sometimes, Maya.” She paused. “So you need someone to look after you for two weeks, huh?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “Interesting.”

>   Right. Personally, I don’t see anything interesting about my situation at all.

  When we arrived, I couldn’t help but gaze at the sleek, Japanese-style building in awe. It was surrounded by leafy trees and reflecting pools, and exuded an aura of utter serenity, just like its name implied.

  In the breezy lobby, which was open on three sides, a slender dark-haired woman clad in all white greeted us with a warm smile.