Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (Nashville Nights #2-3)

by Stacey Mosteller

  Livvie starts to answer when we hear a throat clear and a female voice says, "Um, hey." We didn't even notice the door to Emmett's room open but the girl Wyatt's been chasing is standing there, looking about as uncomfortable as I feel.

  "Hey..." Livvie draws the word out questioningly, "Can we help you?" I can tell by her tone that we are both wondering the same thing. How much of our conversation did she hear?

  Peyton looks apologetic, an emotion I would have never thought I'd see in her based on the few times I've seen her. She's always been kinda bitchy and unfriendly. I have no idea what Wyatt sees in her. "Uh, yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to find Kat. Have you guys seen her or Scarlett?"

  Neither of us answers right away. I'm still studying Peyton; trying to figure out what it is about her that Wyatt is so interested in. When I realize that I sound like a jealous girlfriend, I force myself to think about what she said. Shaking my head, I tell her, "I haven't seen them for awhile, but the last time I saw them, they were heading out the front door with Max." I smile at her apologetically, because I saw them leaving just as we were coming in, so if they aren't back, they've been gone for a while.

  "They left? Great. Well...thanks. I'll leave y'all alone now." She darts out of the room like she's terrified to be alone with us, and when the door shuts; Livvie and I just look at each other before falling back on the bed laughing.

  "O. M. G. SB! Did you see her face? It was like she thought you were going to ask what her intentions were with Wy!" Livvie's holding her hands against her stomach trying to hold the laughter in, but it doesn't work. She's laughing so hard soon that tears are falling down into her dark hair.

  I cover my eyes with my hand, my whole body shaking. "Oh man, he really needs to explain to her that we are just friends. That girl kinda scares me!" I make a mental note to text Wyatt later and let him know that he probably should explain our relationship just as Livvie sits back up. She stands, grabbing my hands and pulling me up with her.

  "Come on girlie, let's go back out and dance!" She pulls me out of Emmett's room and into the group of people where she starts dancing to the fast song that's playing. I don't see Wyatt or Peyton anywhere, and after dancing with Livvie, and caving to her just have one drink request - which was stupid because I don't think she drank hers at all and I think she was just trying to see if alcohol would make me spill my guts - and dancing some more, I'm ready to go home. I would rather spend the rest of the night with Jeremy, especially since the text I got from my brother this afternoon said he was spending the night at Lyric's and wouldn't be back until late tomorrow night.

  I'm so caught up in thoughts of spending the night with Jeremy that I barely notice the fight between Wyatt and Clay. I feel like a jerk for not checking on him, but he went straight into his room when Clay walked away and I was afraid it would cause more problems with Peyton if I went running after him.

  Whatever went on has Emmett pissed too, because without saying a word he grabs Livvie and pulls her into his room - probably not for a chat. That leaves me standing alone in the living room, and I take the chance to send Jeremy a text asking him to come pick me up. After he tells me he's on his way, I head for the bathroom to check my makeup and make sure I look okay. I don't want Jeremy seeing me looking like a raccoon after the laughing session earlier and all the dancing. I'm sure my makeup is melting off my face.

  The text saying he's here comes about thirty minutes later and Livvie still hasn't come out of Emmett's room so I type out a quick message letting her know that Jeremy picked me up as I head down the stairs to his waiting car.

  "Hey Little Bit," he says when I shut the door, leaning over to brush a kiss across my cheek. After my whispered, "Hi," he heads back to the house. "Why didn't Olivia bring you home?"

  I sigh, "Because she was in Emmett's room and there was no way I was going in after her." I shudder at the thought of seeing my friend and her boyfriend doing the deed.

  "You're adorable," Jeremy says with a laugh, picking up my hand and twining our fingers together. "Have you eaten? Or should I stop and get you something?"

  I shake my head, "No, I'm good. Just ready to go home." Even if I were hungry, I wouldn't tell him. The closer we get to the house, the more nervous I become. I'm ready to move things forward, but I'm so freaking inexperienced that I have no idea how to make it happen.

  The rest of the ride, I stare out the window, chewing on my thumbnail in thought and trying to figure out how to bring up what I want. I have no clue how to be sexy and just undressing in front of him seems a little too slutty to me...at least for our first time. I don't know why I'm so afraid, it's not like this hasn't been coming for a while.

  Over the past month, we've made out countless times, and I've dry humped Jeremy to more orgasms than I want to think about. He's been extremely patient, in fact, he's been too patient in some ways, always stopping before we get to the point where clothes are going to either come off or be pulled to the side the way they are in books. Anytime I've made a move towards the button on his jeans, he always intercepts me, kissing me witless or rubbing me outside my panties until I'm mindless with pleasure. Tonight, I want to take it further, I want to give him me.

  Unfortunately, Jeremy doesn't seem to have the same idea because when we get home, he says he's going to bed and sends me upstairs to do the same. When I shut my door, I go over the ride home in my head, wondering what the hell just happened. Then I realize that I pretty much checked out on the way here. I didn't talk to him, I didn't acknowledge anything he might have said to me, I was too caught up in my own thoughts about what I wanted to do with him that I ignored him.

  Resolving myself for what I have to do, I hurry over to my dresser and pull out the single pair of kinda sexy pajamas I have - a pale pink satin camisole that has three buttons down the front that hold it together and a pair of matching bottoms that are short even on me, barely covering the essential bits. I change quickly, avoiding the mirror because if I see myself like this, I'm sure to lose my nerve. I run downstairs and knock on Jeremy's bedroom door before I can have any second thoughts.

  Jeremy

  There's a knock on my door that can't be anyone but SarahBeth since we're the only two in the house and I hesitate before answering it. Earlier this afternoon, things were fine, but after I picked her up from the party, she was quiet. She didn't really talk to me on the ride home and it made me concerned that I'm pushing her too far, too fast.

  When I finally do open the door, I stand there in shock. SarahBeth's just outside the door, her hands clasped in front of her and her head down. She's wearing a tiny little pair of pink pajamas, pajamas that make me want to do nothing but rip them off her. I have to clear my throat and attempt to calm down before I can say anything to her.

  "Hey. I thought you were going to bed?"

  She shakes her head. "No, I'm not ready for sleep yet." She looks up at me, and the only thing I can think is that she looks fucking beautiful standing here in front of me. Her cheeks are flushed with embarrassment and what seem to be nerves, and she's twisting her fingers as she speaks. "I'm sorry. I know I kind of ignored you on the way home, but I didn't mean to." Her eyes are watery, full of unshed tears and I can't be upset with her.

  "C'mere Little Bit," I mutter, crushing her to my chest and holding her close.

  Her tiny fists are trapped between us and I know she'd be gripping my shirt if I was wearing one, but I wasn't lying when I said I was going to bed. "Can I stay in here with you?" she asks, her voice muffled against me.

  I stiffen, because if she stays in here, with me, wearing that, there's no way she's leaving here in the morning without having been well and truly fucked. I only have so much control. With the way her voice shook from asking me, there's also no way I can tell her no, so I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to think of anything but the feel of her warm skin under my hands and against my chest. It's a losing battle, because it's fucking SarahBeth. Pulling away from her, I look down and see that her eyes are clear and she'
s staring up at me steadily. I know she wasn't drunk when I picked her up, she wasn't even tipsy, so it's not alcohol making this decision for her. I nod, taking her hand and leading her over to my bed, gesturing for her to pick a side.

  SarahBeth gets into my bed, sliding her toned legs under the covers and laying almost dead in the middle of my bed. Groaning inwardly, I slip in beside her wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants, praying that the feel of her body next to me doesn't drive me fucking crazy by morning. I've got to keep it together because I don't know that she's really ready for that particular step. It's the reason I've never touched her bare skin or let her touch mine. I know that when we cross that boundary, all bets are off.

  As soon as I lay down beside her, she moves closer, wrapping an arm around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder. I can feel her breath on my neck when she speaks, "Jeremy?"

  "Mmhmm," I murmur, closing my eyes and trying to will away the erection that will be against her leg any minute. She doesn't say anything, but I can feel her move against me, prompting me to open them back up to find her kneeling next to me on the bed, looking down at me with her brow wrinkled in confusion. "What is it Sarah?"

  She leans over to brush her mouth against mine and I go rigid. What the fuck is she doing right now? Putting her hands on my chest, she leans into me further and I put the arm that was underneath her around her waist to pull her closer to me. It's almost a reflex because I can't have her be this close to me and not touch her somehow. In this position, the back of her tank top has ridden up and my fingers are touching bare skin. I trace circles along her exposed skin as she deepens our kiss. This kiss is different than the ones we normally have. Instead of the normal consuming, can't get enough of each other kisses, this one is slow and seems to say everything we haven't said out loud.

  SarahBeth

  I really have no idea what I'm doing. I'm trying to make him touch me and he's letting me take the lead. He very rarely gives up control of anything, so the fact that he's letting me do this says that he's not sure where the hell I'm going with it.

  The circles he's making at the base of my spine are driving me crazy and making me want to squirm. I love feeling his hands on me, even just those teasing circles. Taking a deep breath, I break the kiss; trailing kisses down his jaw, then down his throat, feeling his fingers tighten on my back in response.

  "Baby," Jeremy groans, "What are you doing?" His voice is rough, gravelly the way it gets whenever we're together this way and my tummy clenches.

  I whisper, "I'm trying to seduce you," in his ear. I'm proud of myself for just putting it out there. Saying the words has me wanting to hide my face and I know it's bright red, but he groans again, low in his throat this time. It's the only warning I get before he flips me over so that I'm on my back and he's leaning over me, his eyes so dark they're almost black.

  "Stop," he commands, his eyes narrow and the hand now holding my hip is gripping me so tight I'm going to have a mark there tomorrow. He rests his forehead against mine; closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he's trying to get his composure back and I know that if he does, I'm going to end up back in my bedroom...by myself.

  I can feel his erection against my belly, hot and heavy and it makes me want to writhe against him. I move my hips just enough that he rubs against me in a really fantastic way and we both moan at the contact. I can feel the strain in his body as he goes completely still above me, breathing hard and still clutching my hip in one hand. His other hand trails up my stomach and just underneath my top, further up my bare skin than he's been before and I hold my breath, hoping he continues upwards. "Please," I beg Jeremy, brushing his lips with mine and that's when his control snaps.

  He crushes his mouth to mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth, taking complete ownership of it. The hand at my hip starts kneading my skin as the other moves up to first cover my breast before tugging the tip between his thumb and forefinger. Feeling his skin against mine is a heady feeling and I'm desperate to feel his entire naked body against me. Jeremy starts moving his hips against me as he kisses a trail down my neck, sucking lightly at the base of my throat.

  His lips continue to move south until he gets to the top of my camisole where he pauses, then lifts his head to look into my eyes. He searches them before asking, "Are you sure Little Bit?" I melt at the nickname and nod, unable to speak the words out loud. He continues to watch me, and then he says, "I need the words baby. I need to know that this is what you want."

  "Please Jeremy, I need you to make love to me." My face colors, I can't believe I just said that to him. He grins wolfishly at me before turning his attention to the three buttons on my satin camisole, flicking each button with his fingers but leaving the top covering me.

  I hold my breath, waiting for him to make a move, and when he finally does, he only moves the camisole halves so that my breasts are bare to him. Staring up at him wide-eyed, my breath gets faster than I would have thought possible and the nerves start to set in. Am I pretty enough? Am I enough for him? Jeremy's been with girls before me and I'm suddenly self-conscious thinking about him comparing me to any of them. He's quick to dispel the notion though.

  "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispers reverently, trailing the back of his fingers between my breasts, causing me to gasp.

  It's not enough for me though, now that we're here and actually doing this, the nerves have set in. While I'm not having second thoughts, I am feeling a little trepidation because I have no idea how to do any of this. Jeremy must see the worry in my eyes because he asks, "What's wrong SarahBeth? If you're not ready for this, we don't have to do anything. I don't ever want you to feel pressured with me." He leans down, almost touching his lips to mine to whisper, "I'd wait forever for you, baby."

  I melt at his words, and put my arms around his neck, pulling him down further so that our lips have no choice but to touch. "I'm ready, I'm just nervous. What if I don't do it right, Jeremy? I don't know what I'm doing or how to make you feel good."

  Jeremy gives me a sweet kiss. "Baby," he murmurs, "I'm going to love anything you do to me. I'm so glad to be teaching you this. Knowing that you belong to me and no one else? That's an awesome feeling and an honor I wouldn't give it up for anything."

  His words reassure me and I smile up at him as he smirks down at me before covering my breast with his hand again. Pulling back slightly, he looks down at the contrast of his darker skin against my pale, never seen the sun skin. "You're so fucking beautiful Little Bit." His words are soft, uttered just before he leans down to take the tip of my breast into the heat of his mouth. I arch up against him, lost in the sensations and wondering how it could ever get better than this. Kissing a trail over to my other breast, he repeats the suction on the tip of that one too and I toss my head back, reveling in the feelings he's evoking in me.

  Jeremy pulls me up into a sitting position, sliding the thin straps of my camisole down my arms and then tossing it on the floor beside the bed. He lays me back so that I'm underneath him, looking up at me under hooded lashes as he grips the sides of my sleep shorts in his hands, silently asking if this is okay. In answer, I lift my hips to make it easier for him to pull off my underwear, leaving me completely exposed to his hungry gaze. Each pass of his eyes along my body is like a caress, setting me on fire and making me wish he was pressed up against me again, without clothes this time.

  He runs a hand up each thigh, coming dangerously close to the part of my body that is pulsing for his touch, only he avoids it, moving further up to my stomach before inching them back down to my ankles. I can do nothing but watch him, waiting to see what he's going to do next. Jeremy keeps his eyes on me as he bends down, placing a soft kiss on each calf, pressing kisses up my thighs until he's right back at the spot I need him most. He finally takes his eyes off me for only long enough to take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my arousal. I wait for the feeling I've heard about in books, but it doesn't come, He just continues to stare at me, a small smi
rk on his face. He knows exactly what he's doing to me right now.

  Just when I think he's going to move away again, he trails the tip of one finger from the bottom of my cleft up and around the button at the top that makes me lose my flipping mind. I moan loudly at the contact, brief though it is before he runs that single finger back down, through my wetness to press lightly inside me. Even just the feeling of his finger is almost too much. If the tip of his finger feels like this, what is it going to feel like when he's fully inside me? I can't think about it long because he begins moving the tip of his finger in and out, his eyes locked on the space between my legs where his finger is pushing inside me deeper on each slide in.

  "Damn you're tight," he mutters, almost to himself. He looks up, our gazes meeting and he tells me, "I can feel your pussy pulsing around my finger." Then, closing his eyes, he continues, "Mmmm, I can't wait to feel you convulse around my cock Little Bit."

  Oh God. I could almost orgasm from his words alone. He chuckles at the way I spasm around his finger before he pulls it out of me completely. I whimper in complaint, but he shushes me, entering me once more, but this time with two fingers instead of one. As he starts to glide his fingers in and out of me, he pushes the pad of his thumb against my clit and I cry out loudly, my hips beginning to move against him, helping to push and pull his fingers inside me.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, barely able to concentrate on what he's doing to me. Just when I think I'm going to explode, he removes his thumb, replacing it with his mouth and sucking hard on my clit. I fly apart at the seams, spiraling off into bliss as he continues to move his fingers in and out, gentler now, but still movement nonetheless, which prolongs my orgasm.

  When I'm finally coherent again, he moves so that his lips are next to my ear. "You taste so sweet baby and I want to eat that pussy until you're fucking screaming my name. I can't wait though, not this time. I've been waiting for this with you for a long damn time. I need to be inside you. Are you sure this is what you want?"