Unbridled (The Monroe Series Book 2)

by Nicole Dykes

  Small talk. Safe. This I can handle.

  “I do. The time usually goes pretty fast. If it’s quiet, I can work on homework. When it’s busy, I’m usually running around helping someone. Time seems to fly.”

  “That’s good.”

  I smile, this is kind of awkward and it seems so crazy that it’s like this between us. He’s the boy I used to tell everything, and I do mean everything. Even after I moved, I would write him long letters and send him texts telling him all that was happening in my new life away from him and Kansas. I told him about all the craziness and trouble I got into, how I rebelled after being taken away from my home and losing my best friend. He listened but never judged.

  All of that changed three years ago. I cut him completely out of my life with no explanation. Now he’s sitting right across from me, I’m sure wanting answers. But I can’t give him those. One thing is for sure, I can no longer pretend like he doesn’t exist.

  “So how do you like K-State?”

  He shrugs and deadpans his answer, “It’s fine.”

  I study him carefully, not understanding his answer at all. Fine? I would think he loves it here. College life has to be a breeze for him, right? He seems to have it made—scholarship, fame, fans, football, and, of course, the girls. “Just fine?”

  “Yeah, it’s okay.” He doesn’t elaborate which only makes me more curious.

  I decide to leave those answers for later and change the subject. “How is your family doing?”

  I loved the Monroes. His older brother, Dylan was a lot older than us, but he was always fun to be around. His sister, Cassie cracked me up. She always tried to tag along with us, which Luke hated. I didn’t mind so much because she was just as adventurous as me, always looking for trouble. His younger brother, Michael, was a sweetheart all around. When he was just a baby, you knew he would be a genius. And I could never forget his baby sister, Gabby. She was the cutest baby I’d ever seen. I remember his dad being a quiet man who obviously loved his wife and tried to grant her every wish, so different than my parents’ relationship. And his mom was the most amazing woman I had ever met.

  I wonder if they will visit him on campus sometime. I would really love to see them all again.

  “They’re all fine.”

  There’s that word again, fine. I thought he wanted to talk. I should probably just go back to work, but I’m not. “Now I can’t believe that. There was always something going on at your house. How are your parents? How is your mom? Oh my, God, I used to dream about her cookies.”

  His suddenly looks sad and drops his gaze to the finger he’s using to trace the outline of a motorcycle on the cover of one of his books. He sighs heavily before speaking, “My parents died in a car wreck two years ago.”

  It takes a moment for his words to sink in while I search his eyes to determine if this is some twisted joke, “What?” I choke out quietly.

  His eyes remain focused on the movement of his finger, but I don’t miss how his jaw clenches and releases a few times before he answers, “Yeah, it’s alright though, I’m over it.”

  My heart sinks for him, for his brothers and sisters. “Lucas, please. They were your parents.”

  He sits up and leans forward against the table like he doesn’t want anyone to hear our conversation, “Look. I don’t talk about it, okay? Most people around here don’t even know about it. Of course, I’m not over it. It fucked me up, but I don’t talk about it.”

  I can’t believe my parents didn’t hear about it. I still have an aunt in Overland Park, surely she heard the news. It’s hard to hold back tears. I ask very quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  His eyes grow dark. “Really? You shut me out, Hannah. Your phone was shut off. You never answered any of the letters I sent you for the last three years. Would you have answered me if I could have called you?”

  I drop my gaze, unable to look at the hurt and anger on his face any longer. We both know I wouldn’t have. Even if he would have sent an email, I wouldn’t have read them. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I don’t need your pity, Hannah. It all turned out okay.” His voice is low and gritty, and I wonder if he’s angry or fighting back tears.

  “Who is taking care of the kids? Who took care of you?”

  “Dylan.”

  “Dylan?” He grins at my obvious surprise.

  Dylan was wild, and that’s really an understatement. He loved his freedom, and I can’t even imagine what it was like for him to step up and have to take care of four young kids. “Wow. I mean, that’s incredible?”

  “I know, shocker huh. But he’s changed, a lot in fact since the last time you saw him. He’s actually getting married.”

  My eyes widen and Lucas laughs. “You’re kidding?”

  “Nope, he’s marrying our social worker.”

  “What?”

  “Yep. She’s cool, though. Perfect, really, for him.”

  I have no words for that information. Wow, I’ve missed so much in three years. I shake my head in disbelief, “Well that’s great news. How are the others handling everything?”

  “Slow process. A lot of ups and downs trying to find a new normal for all of us. They love Brooke, my brother’s fiancé. She actually reminds me a little of my mom.”

  Sylvia. I can’t believe she is gone. “I’m so sorry, Lucas. I loved your mom,” I say quietly.

  He tries to shrug it off again, “It’s cool. Don’t worry about it.”

  He starts to gather the books we pulled. “I think I’ll check these out and take them back to my dorm. It’s too fucking quiet in here to study.”

  I can’t begin to understand what he means by that, but I’m assuming he’s trying to bow out of the conversation gracefully, and I can understand. I stand with him, “Okay, I’ll check them out for you.”

  We go up to the desk, and I check the books out to him for two weeks. “Okay, they are yours for two weeks, so if you need them for longer don’t forget to re-check them.”

  He leans against my desk, “Look, I know that you’re really busy, but do you think you can find some time to hang out? Maybe we can go get something to eat, get coffee or some shit?”

  I smile. I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, but I say, “Yes, I think I can find some time.”

  He grins a cocky grin and writes something on a piece of paper that he hands to me, “My number which hasn’t changed, but just in case you lost it, here it is again.”

  I take it. I had actually deleted his number from my old phone so that I wouldn’t be able to enter it on my new one when I changed my number. I knew as long as it was there I would be tempted to doing something reckless, something I know my father and Rachel wouldn’t approve of at all.

  I write my number down on a piece of paper and hand it to him, “This is my new number.”

  He grins and winks at me. “I’m going to use this, and you better answer from now on, Hannah. You know how I am, and I won’t let you rest now that you’ve actually talked to me again.” He knocks his bruised knuckles a couple of times on the counter and leaves.

  The girl next to me is losing her mind. Finally, she whispers loudly, “Do you know who that is?” But she answers before I can open my mouth, “That’s Luke Monroe!”

  I roll my eyes and can’t help but laugh, “Yes, I know who he is.”

  “Did he just ask you out?”

  I shake my head, “No, not like you’re thinking. We were friends, or we are friends, again.”

  She’s freaking out, “Holy shit, I would love to be “friends” with Luke Monroe.”

  I shake my head at her again. I can’t believe he has my number again, and I absolutely cannot believe I agreed to hang out with him again.

  How can I even think this is a good idea?

  Chapter 7

  Luke

  Wednesday I walk into Calvin Hall with Cameron and Hunter for Econ. I make quick work of checking-in with Anthony so I can get a good look around, and then I grin when I see the back of
Hannah’s head. Exactly who I’m looking for.

  She’s already taken her place in the front row with everything out, just waiting on the professor. There are a few people around her, but the one thing I notice is the empty seat beside her. I’m fixing to make it mine. After having an actual conversation with me Monday evening, I’m feeling confident she won’t turn me away if I ask to sit beside her during class.

  When she approached me in the library, I did everything to brush her off. I didn’t feel like listening to any more of her judgment of me or treating me like I’m evil incarnate. I tried to dodge her questions, but she seemed to actually want to know the answers for whatever reason, and that’s how we turned the corner of whatever is happening now.

  She initiated it, and even though it was strange it was also familiar. When she brought up my parents, I tried like hell to make it seem like it was nothing, but she could always see right through me. There were other moments in our conversation when I actually felt like there was still some of my old friend in there somewhere.

  But those moments were very few, and I know I’m going to have to go slow. For some reason she’s still reluctant, almost frightened to get to know me again. I’m more curious than ever to find out what happened three years ago, though. They had only come back to Overland Park for a couple of days, and we only spent a few hours together. But those few hours were great, as far as I can remember.

  We had reconnected after two years of only letters, calls, texts, and emails, and I thought we had solidified our friendship even more. Then nothing, and that nothing was accompanied by absolutely no explanation. And because of the three years of abrupt and total silence, I assume it has something to do with me, but damn I hope not.

  Whatever happened has turned her into a sad shell of the girl she was, that I knew better than anyone. And for that reason, I know I have to take it easy with her or she will go right back to her cold attitude and try to push me away. I can’t deny that there is still some anger and resentment, and that also makes me more determined to get answers.

  Hunter and Cameron head to our usual seats, but I nudge Hunter, "I'm going to sit closer today."

  He raises and eyebrow and then laughs, "Yeah right."

  I grin and start down the stairs, "No really, I'll catch up with you after class."

  I casually approach where she’s sitting reading something in her textbook. When she looks up and recognizes who is standing beside her, she looks unsure for a moment. “Lucas?"

  "Hey." I point to the empty seat next to her, "Anyone sitting there?"

  She shakes her head, "No, it's usually a really quiet guy, but he isn't here yet."

  I smile, this isn't high school. The seats aren't assigned, especially in a large lecture hall like this one, so naturally I’m going to sit. Quiet boy can pick another seat. She rearranges everything on her desk then begins nervously chewing on the tip of her pen. I smile at the memory of her doing that when we did homework together so many years ago.

  She turns to me, "Are you sure you want to sit in the front, the professor will call you out for not paying attention in this row."

  Ouch.

  I shrug off the backhanded insult, "Might be nice to pay attention, for once."

  She shakes her head, but she's smiling. This girl seems closer to the one I used to know, no matter how guarded she still seems. I just wish I could come out and ask her what happened. But I know if I do she will shut down, so we make small talk, initiated by me, until the professor walks in and starts the lecture.

  I try my best to pay attention, I really do make an effort, but why the fuck do I care about this? I'm not an idiot. I get the basic principle of supply and demand, but really I'm not interested in breaking it down any further.

  I watch Hannah, and she seems like she is actually interested. She was always really smart and wanted to learn about anything she could. Hannah has three brothers who were always encouraged to get good grades. She and her two sisters could bring home perfect grades and it would hardly be recognized. My dad was a hardass and really hard to please, but Hannah’s dad made mine look like a saint.

  "Alright class our first exam will be next Friday. We have covered a lot of information so far, so I highly recommend you start studying now." I hear the professor say right before dismissing class.

  Hannah starts packing up her stuff, and I silently thank the professor for giving me an "in.” I stand and focus on Hannah, "So, this exam sounds tough. You think you could find time to study with me? I could really use the help." I add that last part playing on Hannah’s good nature that I know is still in there, even for me.

  She packs her bag up and shakes her head smiling, probably seeing through my plan. "I really am busy, Lucas."

  "Right, but you have to study for this exam, so why not study with me? So all it would be is me joining in on something you are already going to be doing."

  She tilts her head to the side, trying to figure me out, "I don't know."

  "Do you already have a study group for this class?"

  She shakes her head, "No. I have one for Algebra and my Sociology class."

  "Well, see you need a study buddy and so do I." I slightly bump into her with my side, nudging her to think about it.

  She looks so conflicted, and I almost want to let her off the hook. But I know I can’t give her an out, not if I really want to gain back even a little of us. She's definitely at war with herself, and I can practically see the angel and the devil sitting on each of her shoulders. I don't know how I ended up being the villain in her story, but I intend to find out.

  She starts up the stairs with me following behind her. When we reach the exit before I head over to Anthony, I turn to Hannah, "So what do you say?"

  "Okay, we can study together, but it has to be at the library."

  Great. More fucking rules.

  She’s setting boundaries and I want to smash the hell out of them. I intend to—later. So I don’t argue because at least she’s giving in a little. "Okay, that works. You free tonight?"

  "I have class until three o’clock today, and then I work from four o’clock to eight, followed by a study group from eight o’clock to nine. After that, I’ll need to get home.”

  Damn, I have to wonder if all her days are like this. "Okay, is tomorrow better then? I'm free after 5."

  "Is five thirty at the library okay?"

  "That sounds good. I'll see you then." I can’t help but smile. I’m feeling pretty happy with myself as I watch her walk out.

  Hunter and Cameron are waiting on me outside the double doors. It’s hard to miss their amused faces, and I know our walk across campus to lunch is going to be an inquisition.

  "What are you two assholes looking at?"

  Hunter laughs as we start walking, "So, who’s the girl?"

  "Hannah. I told you about her, my old friend from back home."

  Cameron speaks up, "What happened to the “‘Fuck her, who needs her’ attitude you had the last time?”

  "Yeah well, things changed, I guess.”

  Choir boy chimes in again, “So what, you want to date her?”

  “No, it’s not like that with Hannah. She was my best friend for ten years. I know it’s fucking weird and probably seems insane to you guys, but I just need to figure some stuff out.”

  They both look at me like I’m full of shit. I guess it is kind of weird because I don’t hang out with girls without sex being the end game. I just don’t have the patience for their expectations or games. But, this is Hannah, and I want more than just sex with her. I mean, not the se….. Oh. Shit.

  Maybe I’m in trouble here.

  Chapter 8

  Hannah

  The day is dragging, and my nerves are nearly shot. I know it has everything to do with seeing Lucas again. There’s no way that I can deny that simple fact. I’m filled with anticipation as much as I’m filled with dread. Agreeing to study with him has the potential to bite me in the ass, and I don’t know what I’m thinki
ng. For someone who wants to keep her life on the right track, I’m veering way left in a hurry. We’ve only been face to face a handful of times, and each time, no matter how hard a try, I lose common sense.

  At least, I was thinking enough to keep our meeting at the library where it’s public and I can keep my wits about me. Maybe with enough people around, I won’t be tempted to lean in and smell him, like I did in class yesterday. It was intoxicating, more so than when I knew him before. I’m also hoping he won’t be able to push talking about anything too deep.

  The plan is to keep it light and to study for our exam.

  Perfectly innocent.

  I leave my Algebra class and hurry to my dorm. Thankfully today isn’t too terrible, and the near 60-degree weather has melted the snow leaving nothing but puddles. For the beginning of February in Kansas, that’s pretty phenomenal. Now I can’t wait to shed the heavy sweater I left my room in this morning which leaves me mentally checking my closet for something to wear to meet Lucas. Every thought today seems to come back around to him, and that’s dangerous in so many ways I can’t even name them all.

  When I unlock the door to my room, I walk in to see Rachel with books spread out all over our living room. She’s sitting on the couch looking deep in thought, and rather than interrupt her I mutter a quick greeting and slip into my room. I drop my backpack on my bed and take a quick look in the mirror. This morning I didn’t do much in the way of getting ready other than slide my glasses on and put my hair in a ponytail. Perusing my reflection, all I see is frumpy.

  Lucas is so gorgeous.

  Why do I care so much?

  I’ve never been ugly. I was well aware at a young age that I am attractive, and I used to love to play it up by wearing make-up and cute clothes. Then everything changed for me, and now I downplay my looks. I still get the occasional frat boy trying to get me to go out with him, but I politely decline and get out of the situation as fast as I can.

  No distractions. No sin.

  I do feel a little gross though, since I didn’t have time for a shower this morning. So I suppose one now wouldn’t hurt.