Unbridled (The Monroe Series Book 2)

by Nicole Dykes

  “Yeah, it was fun.”

  She nods like maybe she doesn’t believe me. I’m starting to think that my “secret” isn’t a secret at all. “Well good, we had fun, too. Hannah is so great, I can see why you guys were friends for so long.”

  I nod and sit at the small table in the kitchen. I know by now to stay out of Brooke’s way when she is cooking. “Yeah, she’s great. What exactly did you guys talk about?”

  She’s making some sort of pasta salad and drains the pasta in the sink, “Oh you know, school, football, just small talk.”

  Yeah, I don’t believe her for a second. I’m sure they talked about irrelevant things for a while so that Brooke could warm her up. After that, she would go in for the kill. “Really?”

  “Well, I did bring up how Dylan told me you guys lost touch for a few years.”

  I sit up, hopeful. Maybe she told her why. “Oh?”

  She waves her hands, “Don’t worry, she didn’t give me any details at all.” I sink back into my chair. Damn.

  Brooke notices my obvious frustration, “What?”

  “She didn’t give me any of the details either.”

  She washes her hands, dries them, and the walks over to sit next to me at the table, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean she just went silent. For three years, nothing from her.”

  “I had just assumed you guys had some sort of fight or something.”

  “Nope, nothing. All she will tell me is something happened to her in Texas, but that’s it.”

  “Oh Luke, that has to be incredibly frustrating. No wonder you never talked about her.”

  Dylan tells this woman everything, because I never mentioned reconnecting with Hannah to Brooke that weekend. “Yeah, well she wasn’t exactly happy to see me again, and it pissed me off.”

  She nods, “Sounds like she has a deep secret. Hopefully, she will let you in sometime, but right now you guys seem to be really happy. Maybe you should just try to keep enjoying it.”

  We are pretty damn happy at the moment, I love spending time with Hannah, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about those three years every single time we are together. Three years of my life. I thought about her more than I like to admit during those three years. Praying she was okay, wondering why she wouldn’t respond to any form of communication.

  I look out the back door and see Hannah playing with Gabby and Toby. It’s amazing how quickly she fit right back into my life. But if she’s harboring some huge secret, how long can the happiness really last?

  We all spend the rest of the evening hanging out and just enjoying our time together. Cam spends most of the day hanging on Shriller, and Hunter and Jax bond over missing Oklahoma.

  Cassie won’t even look at me, and I’m not going to push it this weekend. I’m still pretty pissed off about her comments last night in front of Hannah, and I don’t want another blowup. We are siblings, we are going to fight. At the end of the day, she knows I love her and if she needs me I’ll be there, so we can leave it at that for now.

  After a delicious barbecued dinner and dessert, we all say our goodbyes. They are leaving early tomorrow morning, so I probably won’t see them again until the wedding.

  Brooke gives me a big hug and sends some leftovers with me, “Have fun, Luke. See you in a few weeks.”

  “Thanks, Brooke. I’ll be there.”

  Dylan gives me a quick hug, “You better be. You’re in the damn wedding.”

  I laugh, “I will be, already got permission and everything.”

  He grins, “Good. Take care of yourself.”

  I nod and see Brooke give Hannah a hug, “Okay, it was so wonderful to finally meet you, Hannah. I hope I will see you at the wedding too.”

  Hannah looks slightly uncomfortable, I haven’t asked her to go with me yet, but have thought about it. I assumed she’ll say no though, because saying yes would go against her father and her roommate’s wishes, I’m sure. God knows, Hannah doesn’t do that. “I will try.”

  Brooke smiles, and everyone else gives their goodbyes. I ride with Hannah back to campus, and when we get back it’s only nine o’clock, so she walks with me to my dorm since we have two hours before curfew.

  My dorm room is empty when we get there, Hunter must have gone somewhere with Cam.

  Hannah is still grinning and happy from the day, and I don’t want to fuck that up with the thoughts swirling around in my head.

  She gives me a warm smile and then kisses me softly, nipping at my lower lip, guiding me back to my room.

  Damn her body feels good pressed against mine. Maybe Brooke is right, maybe I just need to stop thinking like a fucking chick and enjoy myself right now. Hannah doesn’t seem to have any trouble with that.

  She strips off her purple K-State shirt that was fitted to show her feminine curves. She slips out of her jean shorts, leaving her in matching dark purple panties and bra. “I am totally in the K-State spirit today.”

  I swallow hard. God she’s cute. She wore that purposefully for me, and I’m worrying about something that probably has nothing to do with me, anyway.

  Fuck this. I pull her to me hungrily, kissing her, removing my clothes and what was left of hers, leaving us naked and on my bed.

  I take my time with her. We may not have all of the time in the world, but there is something about tonight that makes me need to go slow.

  Chapter 26

  Luke

  Even after spending the last hour lost in Hannah’s body, there’s a part of me that still needs answers. I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed that even Brooke couldn’t get her to open up.

  Now, we’re lying in my bed while I draw lazy circles on her soft skin. It didn’t take long for my mind to snap back to the secrets she’s hiding from me. As close as we’ve become over the last months, it shouldn’t be that difficult to share. She has to know that whatever it is won’t matter to me. What I think bothers me the most is that I may have had something to do with it. I’ve been thinking more and more of us moving forward from this arrangement of ours into something more real, but I know that can’t happen until there is full honesty between us both.

  It’s something that is usually in the back of my mind but was brought forth by Brooke today. I just want to know. And I think I’ve been pretty good about giving Hannah time and not pushing her, but the plan was always to eventually get her to open up to me.

  Hannah rolls to her side and faces me happily, “I had so much fun today. I’m so glad I went.”

  I continue to lie on my back looking up at the ceiling, “I’m glad too.”

  I can feel her inspecting my face, “What’s wrong?”

  I turn my head to her, “I had fun today too, but Brooke mentioned that she asked you about us being apart.”

  Now she looks cautious, she pulls back slightly, I’m not sure if it was even on purpose, “Oh, yeah she did, but we didn’t talk much about it.”

  “Yeah, she said that too.”

  “Luke…”

  I turn to her and just blurt out, “What happened Hannah? I mean it’s almost been four years now. I just want to know.”

  She shakes her head, she looks beyond freaked out, “Lucas, you know I don’t want to talk about that.”

  I sit up angrily, “I know you don’t, but I do. Doesn’t that matter?”

  She sits up and pulls her t-shirt on over her head, leaving her bra off, “Of course it does, but I just can’t.”

  “Why not?” I grab her hand, gently, “Look, whatever it is, I promise you I won’t judge you, but it was three fucking years, Hannah. Not just of your life, but mine too.”

  “You can’t promise that, please let this go, Luke. Trust me, you don’t want to know and then when you do, you can’t un-know it. Please.”

  She’s begging me now, and it terrifies me. I don’t know what the fuck happened to her, but I know it’s something really bad. Please don’t let anyone have hurt her. “Whatever it is, it will be okay. You can’t just
lock it away.”

  She pulls her hand from mine and puts her panties and shorts on. “Actually, I can. I promised myself that I would. I’ve left it in the past, and I don’t ever want to dredge it back up.”

  “That’s bullshit, whatever happened made you ignore me for over three years. Just write me off like I was nothing. And then you were terrified to become friends with me again. It’s already dredged up, you’re just trying to avoid it.”

  I stand up, slipping shorts on, staring into her eyes, begging her to reconsider and just tell me already. She sits on the edge of my bed, and I see a tear fall down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away, “Can we please just drop this.”

  I sit next to her on the bed, leaving a little bit of space between us, “I just can’t do that Hannah. Seeing you with my family today, and how happy we have become together again, I can’t just wait around for the bomb to drop. I need to know.”

  She shakes her head, “I can’t tell you. I just can’t.”

  I feel my anger rising again, and I stand up, “Fuck.”

  She closes her eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, then opens her eyes again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Trust me on this one, you don’t want to know.”

  “Trust me, Hannah, I do. I don’t give a fuck what it is, I just need to know. I need to know why my best friend since I was five years old abandoned me, why she wasn’t there through the hardest fucking years of my life. I. Need. To. Know.”

  She just sits there looking so fucking lost and scared, a shell of my former best friend and the girl that’s been emerging these last few months. “No.”

  “Dammit, Hannah, tell me.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  I’m screaming now, so angry and frustrated by the entire situation. “Because I ca—”

  “Can’t. Right, I got that, but why can’t you?”

  “Because.”

  “Because, why?”

  “Because, I got pregnant!”

  She finally loses her cool and screams that last sentence at me, before tears start pouring down her face.

  I feel like I can’t fucking breathe, there is no way she just said what I think I heard. I stumble backwards in slow motion and sit in my desk chair, “You what?”

  She wipes her face, and sighs, looking in my direction, but not directly at me, “A couple of weeks after we slept together, I missed my period. I never missed my period, I could tell you the exact day it would start. But I ignored it, praying I was wrong.”

  There is nothing that could have prepared me for this. Hannah was pregnant? What the fuck?

  She continues, trying to keep her sobbing under control, “After another week, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Logic finally took over briefly, and I took a few home pregnancy tests. All three of them were positive.”

  I look straight into those pale blue eyes, eyes of a stranger, how the hell could she keep this from me? “I have a child?”

  Another tear falls as she shakes her head no.

  No? But she was pregnant. I look at her horrified. Please tell me she didn’t have an abortion. “You didn’t…”

  She must know what I was trying to ask because she shakes her head emphatically, “No of course not. I could never do that.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief, but then go back to confusion and she says, “I didn’t tell a soul that I was pregnant. I guess I was just living in denial, praying I was wrong. And then a few weeks later, when I was a little over six weeks along, I had a miscarriage. I went to a small clinic that helped me without calling my parents.”

  She starts to sob softly and my heart breaks for her, I walk over to her and sit down, pulling her into a slight hug. She looks up at me, “No one ever knew, I didn’t tell anyone. I felt so many things, mostly shame. I felt like maybe I prayed for that to happen or I was being punished for having sex before marriage and so young. I’m so sorry.”

  I hug her again, not sure what to say. I’m pissed—beyond fucking pissed—that she didn’t tell me, but also pissed at myself because I thought there was no way her shutting me out for so long was my fault, but here it is. I’m the one that hurt Hannah, I caused all of this because my teenage hormones got away from me.

  I pull back, I have so many questions, so many things to say, but I don’t think right now is the time to say them. I know I need time to clear my head, or I could say something horrible that could never be forgiven.

  “Hannah, I need some time to think about this.”

  She nods her head, sadly, “Okay. Of course.”

  I wipe a tear from her cheek with my thumb, “I will call you in a couple of days, I promise.”

  She swallows hard and sniffles. I don’t think she believes me, but I mean it. She stands up, broken, “I bet you wish you didn’t know.”

  I don’t know what to say to that because I don’t know how I feel yet, but I do ask the question that is at the forefront of my mind at the moment, “What if you hadn’t lost the baby and carried to term. If we would have had a child together, would you have told me about it then?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I have no idea what I would have done.”

  I stay quiet, and she kisses my cheek softly before exiting my room.

  I lay down on my bed fucking stunned. How could she not tell me she had been pregnant with my child? How could she sleep with me again after all she went through? Am I glad she told me or would it have been better if I would have just left it alone?

  How could I know so little about Hannah? I feel like she is a total stranger and that everything has been a fucking lie.

  Sunday was a really shitty day. I spent the day hiding in my room like a coward. Hannah was respectful and didn’t call or text.

  The next morning, I wake up and walk out into the living room where Hunter is dressed for class and eating a bowl of cereal. He’s been a little out of it for a couple of days too, so he hasn’t questioned me. I think he’s pissed Miranda didn’t come up for the game.

  He looks up from the news he’s watching on TV, “Hey, after my last class today I’m driving down to Norman.”

  I yawn and stretch, “What?”

  “Yeah, we don’t have football obligations until summer session starts, so I’m heading after my last class ends at two.”

  Maybe I’m still asleep, because this sounds like a crazy plan, “Why?”

  He gets up and rinses out his bowl, “Because I want to see my fucking girlfriend.”

  I study him, he’s not the normal, happy-go-lucky Choir Boy. Something is going on. “Okay, it’s a four-hour drive. So you are going to go down there and what, turn right back around so you make curfew?”

  “No, I don’t know. It’s Monday. They aren’t going to check tonight. They just did curfew checks on Friday.”

  This is really fucking weird, and normally I would dig deeper, but honestly I don’t have it in me at the moment. “Okay, man, be careful on your trip.”

  He nods, “I will. Just do me a favor when I get back, come let me in.”

  “You have a card, just swipe it.”

  “I don’t want them seeing I scanned my card to get in late.”

  “Ah, there’s the paranoia.”

  “Just do it, dickhead. Please.”

  I nod my head, “Okay, just call me when you get back.”

  He pats my back, “Thanks, man. Now go get ready so we aren’t late for Econ.”

  Fuck. Econ. I just can’t sit with Hannah today.

  I shower and get ready for class and then send Hannah a text.

  Me: I’m not going to sit in the front today, but do you think you could come over tonight?

  Hannah: I understand. Yes, maybe around seven?

  Me: See you then.

  Gotta face her someday.

  Chapter 27

  Hannah

  I walk slowly toward Luke’s dorm after work. My heart is going to pound out of my chest. I’m not looking forward to seeing him after I told him everything. The loo
k on his face when I screamed that I ended up pregnant after our night together is something that will remain in my memory for the rest of my life. He is the one person in this world I would never want to hurt, and yet he’s the one I’ve hurt the most.

  When I reach the front steps of his dorm, I take a deep breath. There’s no way he doesn’t hate me right now.

  I hate me.

  But I have to face him. I deserve to have him scream and yell at me. I also owe him answers to all the questions I know he’s going to have. And I will answer them, no matter how painful they are.

  I slow my steps and take deep breaths to calm myself. But it’s no use. As I stand before his door, my body is trembling, my stomach is in knots, and I want nothing more than to turn and run. At this moment, I want to pretend that I never let Luke back into my life or that I let myself fall in love with him. I draw in a steadying breath and knock.

  Luke opens the door, a solemn look on his face that is a far cry from the cocky smirk that is usually on his beautiful face. “Come on in.”

  I walk in, avoiding eye contact. I can’t bring myself to see the disappointment I know is there.

  He points to the couch, “Is it cool if we just talk in here? Hunter is gone ‘til who knows when. He drove down to Oklahoma this afternoon.”

  That’s strange. “He did? Why?”

  He walks to the couch and sits down, and I follow his lead sitting on the couch, him on one far end and me on the other, leaving plenty of space. “I have no idea, to see Miranda, I guess.”

  I nod, although I don’t understand why he would go to Oklahoma on a school day. But it’s really none of my business. We sit in total awkward silence for what seems like hours, but just a couple of minutes. Before I break apart, I say, “I’m sure you hate me and never really want to see me again, and I don’t blame you at all, Lucas.”

  “I could never hate you. I was so angry and confused, but then I thought about you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah you, because you were fifteen years old, and you did all of that alone because you thought you couldn’t tell me.”

  “I wanted to tell you so badly, but I knew that you would have wanted to be there for me.”