Shattered Grace (Rough Jesters MC Book 9)

by Brook Wilder

  I would eventually have to get over Keith. He wasn’t coming after me, probably glad that I was out of his hair so that he could keep his precious club intact.

  I wanted to hate him. Oh, I would have loved to hate him, but I couldn’t. What he had done, minus the whole computer thing, was because he loved his club and if the tables were turned, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t do the same. The club was his life and journalism was mine

  We were just on opposite sides of the field, unable to find common ground and that was what would keep us apart.

  Shaking my head, I took a sip of my coffee, letting the warm liquid burn my throat. Was I really a journalist now? I wasn’t so sure. In my heart I felt like I was, but my words, my actions, didn’t show anything but a scared woman who was still trying to find her way in the world. After some thought, I realized that going after a woman who had been terrorized by her ex wasn’t the best of ideas. It would be like having the reporters all over me again about my affair with Julian. I didn’t like that they had constantly invaded my privacy and I imagined Leigh Greene was the same way.

  Yeah, not one of my finer moments.

  That, and my conversation with Julian hadn’t been another. He had rattled me, and I had let him know he had done just that instead of acting like I hadn’t thought about him. I should have pretended that he was nothing but a blip in my life and that I had already moved on, but now he knew he still bothered me.

  That he still brought me weakness was something I didn’t like to admit.

  Well, starting today, I was going to turn over a new leaf. I was going to push him into my past and keep him there, just like I should have done from the beginning. Keith had been right. I had been so fixated on trying to prove myself not only to Julian but also to everyone else that had wronged me that I had lost sight of what I was doing in the first place.

  I needed to take back my life, whatever I found that was left of it.

  One thing was for sure; I wasn’t going to be involved with anyone for quite some time. I still felt raw from my fight and subsequent leaving of Keith and I honestly didn’t want to even go to sleep knowing that my dreams would be filled with him and that grin of his.

  Or those hands.

  Or that voice.

  Who was I kidding? I remembered everything about him and even though he had betrayed me in such a way I didn’t know if I could forgive him, I still wanted him in my life.

  My phone buzzed and I reached for it, surprised to see the object of my thoughts sending me a text message. I bit my lip, my finger hovering over the button that would reveal the words he had sent. Did I dare? I really should just delete it and forget that he was ever in my life.

  But my curiosity was rearing its ugly head, making me wonder what he had to say after what he did to me. Did he regret it?

  Did he miss me?

  “Ugh,” I groaned, pressing the button. There was no way I was going to delete it without at least reading his words.

  I’ve got your information. Let me see you.

  My heart started a slow thud in my chest. He had my information. He had backed it up somehow and not all was lost. Relief flooded through my veins as I thought about all the work I had put into that story. Thank God. I didn’t think that Keith would be a complete jerk and try to ruin my life.

  What a very fragile bridge we were standing on. What did he want? What was he going to let me do with that information? Was this just a ploy to get me on their side, to hold something over my head so that I would keep my mouth shut?

  Or were they really willing to give me a shot at my story, with their influence?

  My phone buzzed again. I know you are reading this. Talk to me, Jill.

  Oh, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to Keith. I wanted him to know how badly I was hurt by his actions, how much I had hoped that this could be the bright, shining spot in my life, to erase the shadow of Julian out of my life forever.

  I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

  His next text nearly did me in. Please, Jill.

  Keith was begging. Was that a good sign or a very bad one for me?

  Fine, I fired back, my fingers flying over the keys against my better judgment. I’m sure you already know where to find me.

  I will be there in an hour.

  I set the phone down, a small smile playing on my lips. Of course he had already looked up my address and clearly thought that I would see him if he was that close to my place.

  The thought made me giddy on the inside. As much as I wanted to deny him access, I couldn’t.

  I really wanted to see Keith.

  Looking around my apartment, I jumped out of the chair, grabbing the dirty clothes that were strewn about. Keith was going to be in my domain, my private space. He was going to look at my secondhand furniture, see the plants I couldn’t keep alive dying in the corner.

  I opened my bedroom door, ready to pitch my clothes on the unmade bed. What if things progressed and he did apologize? Would I drag him into this room and get my fill of the man who had stolen my heart?

  Yeah, I might want to plan for that, just in case.

  Opening my closet, I dumped the clothes there instead, hurrying to the bathroom next. If I had an hour, I was going to make the best of it and show Keith what he was potentially going to lose. He wasn’t going to find a woman who was broken from what had happened to her.

  Oh no, he was going to find a woman who was strong, capable of handling the things life was throwing at her, regardless of whether she felt it on the inside.

  Exactly forty-five minutes later, I fidgeted with the sleeves of my shirt, glancing at the clock in the kitchen. If Keith was telling the truth, he would be here any minute now.

  Why was I so nervous? Well, because I didn’t know how I was going to act around Keith. The last time we were together wasn’t either of our best days. What did you say to the man that had broken your heart?

  I just didn’t know. I had never been in this position before, never felt this way about anyone, not even Julian. Julian had been an infatuation, someone who seemed untouchable, yet I was able to be with him.

  Keith could be a future I had never thought about before I had met him.

  But if he didn’t apologize, I didn’t know if I could be with him and that would be a complete loss for both of us.

  Well, if Keith felt the same, I guess. He hadn’t said anything to tell me that he loved me or not and I guess it was wishful thinking on my part to hope that he did care about me, even if his most recent actions had not shown it.

  And if he didn’t, well then, I would move on with my life very quickly. I might be willing to change the way I had written the article based on our conversation that was about to happen and if he told me goodbye, I wouldn’t hold it against him.

  After all, neither one of us had seen the fire that would be ignited between us. I had never given much thought to hooking up with one of the guys I was investigating, but I had, and it was the best thing that had happened to me in quite some time.

  A knock sliced through the silence of my apartment and I cleared my throat. This was it. This was my future, either with Keith or with my article.

  I forced my feet to move and cross the apartment, throwing the locks nervously. What would be his first move? What would he say?

  What would I say?

  Gripping the knob, I forced myself to calm down. Keith would likely be just as nervous as I was, wondering what my reaction was going to be.

  There was only one way for me to find out.

  Chapter 24

  Wires

  The door opened and I forced myself to stand still, half expecting to be blown away by a shotgun.

  Instead, I was simply blown away by Jill’s appearance, feeling my cock stir in response.

  Hell, I had missed her.

  Her eyes were wary as she took me in with one long gaze before moving to allow me entrance. “Come on in.”

  I did as she asked and Jill shut the door behind us
, throwing the locks. “This isn’t the safest neighborhood,” she explained, sliding the lock in place.

  I moved my vest aside to show her I was packing. “I think I can handle it.”

  Jill laughed, leaning against the door. “You, a computer geek? Carrying a gun? What has the world come to?”

  Grinning, I relaxed my pose. “Hey, someday computer geeks might be the only ones left to provide protection.”

  She returned my grin and I felt some of the tension ease from my shoulders. On the drive over, I had imagined all sorts of reactions from her, but her easygoing demeanor still had me on edge. What was going through that beautiful brain of hers?

  Where was the knife that I deserved to be shoved into my gut?

  Swallowing, I dropped my arms. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jill. I never meant to hurt you.”

  Her grin faded and she stared at me. “Why?”

  “You were getting too close,” I answered, figuring it wasn’t going to hurt to tell her the truth. “We didn’t give you credit for being the damn good journalist you are.”

  She snorted. “You’re just trying to butter me up.”

  “No,” I said, walking toward her. “I read what you wrote. You’re damn good, Jill, and I know how much it hurt for us to do what we did to you.”

  Jill stared at me for a long minute, watching as I got within inches of her, my hands itching to reach out and touch her body. “So, I was on the right track.”

  “Yeah,” I answered. “Had we given you another few days, I think you would have broken our secrets wide open.”

  She tilted her head. “What secrets are you carrying, Keith?”

  I chuckled. “I have no secrets, Jill. I’m just a computer geek that somehow got into a biker club and found a family. My best friend is a girl, my car is ten years old, and I tend to spend more time typing on a computer than I do firing the gun on my hip.” That was all there was to me.

  “That’s it?” she asked softly.

  I reached out, brushing her hair out of her face with my hand. “Well, that, and I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  Jill’s breath caught and I knew I had surprised her. I had fallen in love with her and now I was throwing my hat in the ring, letting her know that I was in it for the long haul. I couldn’t imagine my life without her and nearly had found out just how that would have felt.

  For added leverage, I held up the thumb drive that Sabrina had given me, watching her expression. “This is everything,” I said in a low voice. “Take it.”

  Her hand trembled slightly as she did so, clasping it against her chest. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I answered, stepping back. “Sabrina sends her apologies. She said that she didn’t want to wipe out your life’s work like that and made the flash drive to protect it before she erased your computer and cloud account.”

  Jill let out a small laugh. “Thank God for that. You know I was hurt.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Know that we only did it for the club.”

  “I know.” She said in a small voice, tucking the drive into her jeans pocket. “I wanted to hate you.”

  “You had every right to do so.”

  “But I couldn’t,” she interjected, reaching out to take my hand in hers. “I just couldn’t.”

  I wasn’t sure who moved first, but our lips crashed together in a frenzied motion, my hand sliding up to cup her neck and pull her closer to me. I was hoping this was the sign of her forgiveness and if it was, I was a damn lucky man.

  When her arms slid around my neck, I knew she had forgiven me. Someone was looking out for us, making this work despite the shit that was around us.

  “Keith,” she whispered against my lips as her hands slid down to my jeans. “I need you.”

  I broke our kiss, my hands grabbing hers. “No, not this time,” I said roughly. “I want to worship you, Jill.”

  Her breath hitched as I released her hands and slid my own up her body, grasping the hem of her shirt. She helped me pull it off and together we made quick work of her bra and jeans, until she was standing in front of me in a pair of lacy black panties, her eyes warm.

  I didn’t touch her just yet, dropping to my knees before her. I could smell her arousal, my cock straining against my jeans painfully.

  I wanted to take my time to have her scream my name.

  Reaching out, I traced the wetness that had gathered on her panties from her front to her center, feeling her body tremble from my simple touch. She wanted me just as much.

  But I was going to make her suffer.

  When my thumb hooked her panties and pulled them aside to expose her mound to me, Jill’s hands fisted at her sides.

  When I tasted her for the first time, she cried out my name, her hands fisting in my hair. I wanted her to fall apart for me, to give me everything she had.

  So I gave her everything I had with my tongue, listening to her cries as her orgasm started to build. When I slid two fingers inside her wet entrance, she convulsed around them, her throaty cries like music to my ears. I caught Jill as she slid to her own knees, wasting no time opening my fly and burying myself in her warmth. “You are mine,” I growled, poised over her, my hands sliding up to cup her breasts.

  Her eyes met mine. “I’m yours.”

  The alpha male in me grinned ferociously and I leaned down, brushing my lips over hers as I pushed my way home.

  After a while, Jill leaned up on one elbow, her hand on my chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex on the floor before.”

  I chuckled as I captured her hand and brought it up to my lips, kissing her fingers. “There’s always a first time for everything.”

  She smiled. “I mean I’m not complaining, trust me, I just don’t know when’s the last time I’ve mopped this floor.”

  “That’s what you are worried about?”

  “Of course not,” she responded, pulling herself into a seated position. “I hope we have sex on every part of my floor tonight. You owe me, Keith.”

  I sat up, thrusting my hand through my hair. “We need to talk about the article.”

  “Buzz killer,” Jill said, punching me in the shoulder lightly.

  I pulled her close, my hand sliding down her spine. “I got you a one-on-one interview with Voodoo.”

  Jill pushed at my chest, arching a brow at me. “Please tell me that’s not a witch doctor.”

  “It’s not,” I answered. “It’s the ex-CIA agent that’s been hiding out in Mexico. Chains has some conditions for this interview, but you can pretty much ask what you want.”

  Her eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

  “If we read everything before you post it,” I replied. Chains had been very specific about how we were going to bring Jill into the fold and trust her with our secrets, adding that if she double-crossed us, she would find herself in a ditch.

  I didn’t think she would, especially not after what we had just done on this floor.

  “Wow,” she said. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I do,” I started, choosing my words carefully. “This story is not going on your conspiracy site. We are shooting for the Times.”

  The light in her eyes died a little as Jill stood, picking up my shirt and pulling it over her head. That primal satisfaction filled me as I watched her, far too happy that she had done so. “I can’t do that.”

  I stood too, not bothering to cover my nakedness. “Why the hell not?”

  She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Because. I’m not respected by anyone in the journalism world, Keith! They would laugh me out of the building if I even tried to submit something for the Times, not to mention that Julian would shoot it down. It’s not going to work.”

  I reached for her, pulling her against my body. “Leave that to me. I’ve got a plan.”

  Jill lifted her head. “What? Are you going to intimidate them into publishing the article?”

  I grinned. “You think it won’t work?”

  She shook her
head, though there was a grin on her face. “From a computer geek? I doubt it.”

  I pinched her side, causing her to squeal in laughter. I never wanted to see those shadows in her eyes, never wanted to hear his fucking name cross her lips again. He didn’t deserve the time of day. “Do you trust me?” I asked her, searching her eyes.

  Her expression softened. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, I do.”

  That was all I needed to know. “Where do you want to fuck me next then?”