Forgetting Jack Cooper: The Stuntman Edition

by Erin McCarthy

  Forgetting Jack Cooper: The Stuntman Edition.

  Copyright © 2017 Erin McCarthy

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights reserved under copyright above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner and publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Forgetting Jack Cooper:

  The Stuntman Edition

  by Erin McCarthy

  If there’s one thing Toni Salvatore knows how to do, it’s make people laugh. Having embarked on a life of comedy back in college playing pranks with current Hollywood star Jack Cooper, she’s now a YouTuber with her own passionate following. Too bad her newest joke—a fake on-set kiss with Jack—results in an epic case of mistaken identity…and with Toni getting flattened by Jack’s stunt man and body double. What’s a girl to do but make the best of a bad situation?

  Chance Ashton takes everything seriously—he’s had to, because of his past. Then he mistakenly drops the hilarious and hot Toni to the ground in what he thought was an action scene, and he’s so intrigued he lets her kiss him after all. The results? More explosive than anything he’s experienced filming movies. When Toni seems to be interested in more than a fast laugh, he knows better than to believe her…and yet…

  For the first time in her life, Toni’s pratfalled herself into what could just be a real romance. But can she convince the sexy stunt man she’s capable of more than just a joke?

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  Chapter One

  “You’re a jerk, Jack Cooper,” Toni Salvatore said, eyeing her college buddy with affection and irritation. “Everyone knows that.”

  Jack put his hand to his muscular chest, and faked being wounded. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief. “You’re killing me. What can I say? I’m trying to change, and put the past behind me. You’re the first stop on my 12 step make amends tour.”

  “What in the actual hell does that mean?” Toni sipped her coffee, extra whip, and tried to visualize Jack, the Berkley dorm hottie back in the day and well known for charming girls out of their panties, making retribution. It didn’t jibe.

  “So apparently some people think that perhaps I have not always conducted myself selflessly or with dignity.”

  She raised her eyebrows.

  “No, now don’t protest, it’s true.”

  That made her grin. “I wasn’t going to. But go on.”

  “Since I am going to be starring in a role where the character goes out finding people he has wronged in the past and making amends, the powers that be think I should do the same. One, method acting. Two, good PR.”

  Interesting. “And I’m stop one?”

  He shrugged. “You’re in town. It’s convenient. My PR person will be here in a minute with a cameraman and we can film my apology.”

  Jack wasn’t a bad guy. He was just impulsive and good-looking, and everyone wanted to make beautiful people happy. Toni herself had lost her common sense when it came to Jack’s suggestions in college, which usually involved pranks, alcohol, and social media. “I’m overwhelmed by the contrition dripping from your voice.”

  He gave a snort. “Okay, what can I say? I’m a work in progress. Toni, I’m sorry for suggesting you infiltrate the commencement ceremony a year before you were due to graduate and take a degree that belonged to someone else. Then kissing the Dean of Students on stage.”

  Yep. That was the biggest prank she had agreed to. Jack was just so damn charming and he made everything sound so fun and she could never resist the infamous “double-dog dare.” It was a character flaw. One her parents would only be too willing to point out.

  “And?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Is this a rehearsal?”

  “And what?” Jack looked bewildered. “And I’m sorry Dean Stoner got a boner when you kissed him and then he was so humiliated he formally disciplined you and you lost your scholarship and couldn’t graduate? Is that the ‘and what’?”

  Yep. “That about sums it up. My college career, three years of work, reduced to one wet kiss with a man in his fifties.” She shuddered at the memory. “But I do forgive you, you know,” she told Jack. Hell, if it wasn’t for him she wasn’t sure she would be as successful a comedienne as she was. Together the two of them had created a YouTube channel where they did stupid and idiotic things together, attempting to out-prank one another.

  The schtick that had launched her to internet stardom was her kiss and go. Run up to a stranger, lay one on him, run away. It was comedy gold, spawned on that commencement stage.

  Jack coughed into his hand. “Well… there’s something I never told you.”

  Toni paused with her coffee halfway to her mouth. “Okay. What would that be?”

  “Remember when you told me that you had a thing for Brian Rothstein and you asked me to tell him? And I said I did? Well. I never did.”

  Toni was taken aback, she had to admit. “Are you kidding me? I angsted over that for months. I thought Brian was my soul mate. I pictured birthing his children, Cooper.”

  “I’ve always felt bad about that.”

  “You told me he thought I was a best buddy, nothing more. Good for sharing a joke with, not his bed. Your exact words were, and I quote, ‘you’re in the friend zone, Ton, let it go.’ If you didn’t want to tell him you could have just told me.”

  Jack looked a little sheepish. He was sprawled out across the table from her, seemingly oblivious to the stares of young women in the coffeeshop who had been covertly taking selfies with him in the background for the last twenty minutes. His Hollywood star had risen because he was one sexy bastard and because he could genuinely act. “I’m sorry. I just felt like a douche saying something to him, so I just lied. But in my defense, if he wanted you, he would have put the moves on you whether I gave him the encouragement or not.”

  Way to make a girl feel better. “It’s a good thing I’m your first stop on this amends tour because you suck at it.”

  He rubbed his jaw. “You’re right, geez. Okay, how can I make it up to you?”

  Jack appeared to be profoundly sincere but Toni knew him well enough to question if he was just acting or if he actually felt bad. “Don’t worry about it. You’re right. If Brian and I were meant to be, he would have hit on me. It’s not like a guy told you he was into me and you discouraged him.”

  He pulled a face. “Well… I might have done that too. I was looking out for you. That guy was a loser. Total loser.”

  “What?” Toni was shocked. “Who was it?” What was he going to confess next, that she had really won that stand-up comedy contest freshman year? That she was actually adopted and Jack knew it? Which she wouldn’t believe for a second, by the way. She was far too much like her four older brothers—it was how she’d wound up the funny girl. She couldn’t physically keep up with them, so jokes had been her go-to revenge for their brotherly beatdowns.

  “It was that kid with the big nose who carried a briefcase and always wanted to talk to you about software programming.”

  Understanding dawned. “That guy is now a billionaire, you do know that? He’s CEO of a software company. But aside from that, it was mean. How did
you know I didn’t like Roger?” She hadn’t but that wasn’t the point. “What if you shattered poor Roger?”

  “You didn’t like Roger. Stop.”

  “You don’t know that.” She was not going to let him off the hook that easily. “And so what does this little amends tour involve?” She sucked up whip cream and smacked in satisfaction. Being in the driver’s seat felt good. “Is this where you make it up to me?”

  “Yes. As long as you agree to film it.”

  That made Toni laugh. “That goes without saying.” She settled back into her chair, crossing her feet. She was wearing ripped jeans, a Metallica T-shirt that was off the shoulder, and hot pink Converse, her work uniform these days. She was known for her girly grunge style, her head of unruly dark curls, and for doing literally anything to get a laugh. She was making an unholy amount of money being an idiot online and she trusted Jack to up her game. “What do you have in mind, Pretty Boy?”

  Jack leaned in closer, resting his arms on the table. He gave her a charming smile. “Since I’m turning over a new leaf, I think it should be something that puts me in my place, you know? Shows I can be humble.”

  Toni was skeptical. “Like what, you want to do Dirty Jobs or something? Jack Cooper the coffee barista for a day? That’s boring.”

  “You’re the one with the twisted mind. You can think of something.”

  She was envisioning a quick two-minute video where she embarrassed the hell out of Jack. “Can I dress you in a bikini?”

  “No. Forget it. That has nothing to do with me making amends.”

  “Pants you?” That would get views all damn day long. Women would love to see the famous actor sans jeans. Full frontal was hot these days.

  He gave her a look. “Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got?”

  Toni felt the old thrill of a challenge. Jack always knew how to push her buttons. “How about we recreate the Dean Stoner kiss, only you’re me and I’m Dean Stoner?” Now that she could get on board with. Her comedic wheels started turning. “It’s straight forward, fits with my brand, doesn’t humiliate you.”

  “Done. I’m not sure it’s much of a mea culpa on my part but if that’s what you want, I have no problem with it.”

  “Are you kidding? You are a hot commodity these days. You’ll up my stature, without question.” She batted her eyelashes at him because she knew it would look ridiculous. Her flirtation skills were notoriously nonexistent. “Kiss me, Jack Cooper, kiss me.”

  He shook his head but he looked amused. “You’re a nut. But thank you for not being pissed at me over the whole Brian and Roger thing.”

  Toni waved her hand. She wasn’t one to hold a grudge. “No worries. And I won’t even exact revenge because I’m nice like that.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Fabulous. So what’s new in your life, by the way? You dating anyone?”

  Toni snorted. That was the biggest laugh riot of all. “No. Dudes do not want the funny girl. They want the Hottie McHot Hot. Sexy blondes with fake boobs. I am both blondless and fake boobless.”

  “Blondeless in Los Angeles is a sob story. You’re better than that. Don’t make excuses. Besides, nature didn’t skimp you, so since when are you jealous of fake ones?” He gestured to her chest.

  Toni was mildly offended. She was also aware that Jack was right but she refused to admit that out loud. She didn’t envy beautiful blondes. She envied the ease with which some women dated. It was much easier for Toni to pretend she couldn’t find a guy than it would be to admit she was a workaholic afraid of dating. The last time she had slept with a guy was pre-Instagram-sleepy-Sunday-couples-in-bed posts. Which was both a great thing and a horrible, sexually frustrating thing. “So who are you dating, Oh Wise One?”

  Jack grew sheepish. “Well, no one, but we’re not talking about me.”

  “Then mind your own gravy.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Mind your own gravy and life will be biscuits.” Toni had grown up in South Carolina, a New Jersey Italian transplant, which was partly why she had relied on being the funny girl. It was hard to be a brunette with curls and a flat accent in the land of blonde Southern belles. She thought it was a pretty standard expression, but apparently not universally. “I take it you didn’t say that in Arizona where you grew up?”

  “Nope. And seriously, you should get out there, Ton. You’re a cute girl with lots to offer.”

  Gross. Toni rolled her eyes. “Should I make that my Tinder tagline? Hollywood movie star Jack Cooper says I’m a cute girl with lots to offer. They’ll be dropping at my feet.”

  He grinned. “You’re a jerk, Toni Salvatore. Everyone knows that.”

  Touché. A funny, booty-free jerk. That was her. “There is a woman waving to you. Do you know her or is that a fan?” Toni gestured to the left.

  Jack turned and waved back. “That’s Ruth. We need to do my apology all over again on film.”

  “That will seem so real,” Toni said, rolling her eyes. “Not.”

  “It’s Hollywood, Ton. There’s always a take two.”

  Now those were actual words to live by.

  Chapter Two

  Toni had been working with her cameraman Ned for three years. He was about a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet, wore hipster glasses and skinny jeans, and could move like lightning, even with the massive camera he wielded. Their working relationship was fantastic because Jake could instantly react to her often impulsive maneuvers, even if it involved scaling a wall or stealing a bike temporarily for a gag. So he didn’t even flinch now when she warned him she was going to go off script.

  “Just cue me left or right at least,” he said as they stood on the studio lot where Jack was filming an action sequence.

  It was a film that had been put to bed, for the most part, but needed a few scenes reshot, which meant they did not have full crew. It hadn’t been difficult to get approval for their little sketch from the studio and Jack’s PR team. Toni had the clout with millennials and teens and Hollywood was mystified by it, but was smart enough to know this was an easy way to take advantage. Free publicity. Always a good thing.

  Jack was expecting her and she was supposed to be ambushed by him kissing her. What Jack did not know was that she was going rogue and instead of sticking to him kissing her, she was going to surprise him with a kiss first, and with one of her famous douchelord awards. The recurring gag had started out as a joke—no shocker there—after a particularly lousy first date where the guy had been thirty minutes late, then announced the reason why was because he had been having sex in his car with his ex. So after ranting about it on camera, she had created the award, a gilded dildo reserved only for the biggest dicks.

  She knew she wasn’t precisely being fair to Jack, because he wasn’t a dick. But, he was famous. And it would be funny. Plus he would forgive her. So she was going for it. “Ned, I have a lot of bad ideas, don’t I?”

  It was hotter than hell in Burbank and she was wearing a sundress with her Converse. It was the only way to beat the heat.

  “Bad, as in, they don’t go according to plan, or bad as in stupid?” Ned wasn’t looking at her. He was fiddling with his camera, down in a squat.

  “Stupid as in I both piss people off and create problems for myself. This might be one of those.” She bit her fingernail and wondered if a sex accouterment was a bit over the top for a SAG actor on a traditional studio set. Probably. She had it tucked into the belt of her sundress like the world’s most useless sword, ironically. “Maybe I should rein it in just slightly.”

  Ned glanced up at her. “Are you going straight and narrow? Mainstream? That’s not your demographic.”

  He was right. But talking to Jack, being reminded of the past, had contributed to the nagging feeling that it was difficult to mature and be taken serious when she was still doing pranks involving fake poo. It was a little juvenile, she had to admit.

  Then she shook it off. If she grew up she would be out of a job and broke. Broke
as a joke. How ironic was that?

  “True that,” she told Ned. “Okay, Jack is expecting me in an hour. So let’s pop in now.”

  “Got it.” Ned hoisted his camera up onto his shoulder and said, “Lead the way.”

  After dodging a few golf carts and asking a woman with a clipboard where she had gotten her shoes, Toni came around the corner of the set and saw that fortunately they were not filming. There was a lot of standing around going on in front of a couple of vintage cars. Jack was dressed in a black suit, fitted, very James Bond. “Damn,” she murmured out loud. “Jack’s been hitting the gym.” As a leading man he had to keep up his physique but she hadn’t realized quite how buff he had gotten.

  The key was to get out there before anyone drew attention to her. So gesturing for Ned to follow, she spoke to the camera. “Jack Cooper on set. He has no idea I’m here. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do, because you know, I change my mind every three seconds, but I’m just going to roll with it.”

  That wasn’t true, obviously. Sometimes she felt guilty lying when her pranks were staged, but no one expected reality entertainment to actually be real anymore.

  She fast-walked up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder, and went up on her toes, laying one on him like she had Dean Stoner.

  Only it wasn’t Dean Stoner.

  Hell, it wasn’t even Jack.

  It was a man with darker eyes than Jack. A more chiseled face. A seriously intense expression that registered somewhere in the back of her brain one second before her mouth covered his. She expected him to jerk away. It was the usual reaction. Only two or three times had men just dropped right into the unexpected kiss and made love to her mouth like they’d known each other for years.

  This was one of those.

  Tall, Dark, and Sexy didn’t step back or set her away from him. He didn’t even miss a beat. He just kissed her back, their lips meeting in perfect harmony while she strained to stay up on her tiptoes. Her entire body was straining, straining to understand what was happening because this kiss, unlike every other ambush kiss before, was driving her crazy. It was sweet, arousing perfection.