This Time for Keeps

by Maureen Child

  "Then why do it?"

  Because there was no future in it. Because he wouldn't dishonor himself, her, or the pledge he had made to her father.

  But all he said was, “Because I can't marry you."

  She jerked her head back and stared at him through eyes wide with surprise. A half laugh shot from her throat before she remembered to be quiet. Keeping her voice low, she leaned in close, glared at him, and demanded, “Who asked you to, cowboy?”

  Now it was his turn to be surprised. She couldn't possibly imagine that he would bed her without benefit of marriage, could she? That was something only stupid boys and faithless men did. She'd known him ten years and that was her opinion of him?

  Stunned at the thought, he blurted out, "If you don't want to get married, why were you kissing me like I held the last breath on earth?"

  She rolled her eyes, turned, took two quick steps, then came right back. Tilting her head, she met his gaze evenly before speaking. "Just because I like kissing you doesn't mean I want to marry you. I'm not interested in marrying anybody."

  The tone of her voice left little doubt that she thought him softheaded. Well, blast it, if she wasn't going to look out for her reputation, then it was up to him to do it for her. "You can't go around kissing folks just because you feel like it."

  "Why the hell not?"

  "Because it's not proper, and you damn well know it."

  "Proper?"

  "Ladies don't kiss men they're not betrothed to and very damn few of 'em kiss like you do even when they are.”

  Her eyebrows lifted and she folded her arms across her chest. "And how would you know that if you haven't been out kissing ladies?”

  He reached up, snatched his hat off, and smacked it against his thigh. "Everybody knows that Nora. It just ain't done."

  "So I'm not allowed to kiss anybody or hold anybody or— unless I'm married?”

  "Especially not 'or,' " he said, wanting to make that clear right from the get go.

  “I am not going to spend the rest of my life living like a vestal virgin, cowboy."

  "What?”

  "Never mind." She shook her head. "Look, I'm twenty-seven years old. I'm not some sweet young thing out trying to land a husband." She threw her arms high in the air. “I’m an old maid. Why would anybody care what I do?”

  Old maid. Well, up until the last couple of weeks, Nora had not only looked the part of a sickly, left on the shelf spinster, she had acted it too. Now, though… well, it would be best not to follow that thought anywhere.

  "People would care. And talk."

  "This is ridiculous," she muttered, then brightened a bit. "We could keep this a secret," she offered with a small smile. "Just between us two. No one has to know."

  Everybody would know. The way sparks flew when the two of them came together, the bonfire would be hard to miss.

  But he didn't get a chance to say so. A rustle of sound carried on the still air. Reacting quickly, Seth grabbed Nora and pulled her behind him. Her hands clutched at his waist as she leaned to one side, trying to see around him.

  "Stand still," he said on a breath.

  Drawing his pistol, he swept his gaze across the tangle of trees and brush stretching out around them. He concentrated, listening for any other sign of movement. With Nora pressed close against his back, Seth tried to make them as small a target as possible. He gently moved to one side, easing them close to the nearest tree, setting his feet down carefully to avoid the slightest sound.

  Nora seemed to sense what he was doing. She moved with him, her fingers digging into the flesh at his waist. He felt her fear and tried to ignore it, though it tore at him, knowing she was in danger. He needed to be able to focus on a possible enemy.

  "What is it?" her voice came softer than a breath.

  "Don't know," he said, his thumb drawing back the hammer on his pistol. The soft, metallic click sounded as loud as church bells on Sunday in the silence. Narrowing his gaze, he searched the area again, mentally cursing the fallen trees, drooping branches, and the beginnings of a low-hanging mist that muddied his vision.

  "Seth?" she whispered again and he knew he had to give her something.

  "It's probably just an animal of some kind, out hunting for food."

  "Are we it?"

  He smiled in spite of the situation. "Don't think so," he said tightly. "Bears or wolves would be making a sight more noise by now."

  She shivered and tightened her grip on him.

  Several long, silent minutes passed before Seth said, "Whatever it was is gone now."

  "You sure?" she asked, peeking out from behind his shoulder.

  "Yeah." He slipped his gun into its holster, then reached to tuck a stray lock of her hair behind one ear. "What happened to that fearless woman who beaned Richard?"

  She lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "Bullies, I can handle. Wolves and bears, I don't know."

  Damn, she was something. Most women, in the same situation, would have been crying or praying or like Elizabeth, fainting. Admiration for her welled up inside him. If things were different, if he was different, he would grab her up and carry her off.

  But he couldn't.

  He didn't have the right.

  She turned her head to look up at him. Eyes narrowing thoughtfully as she studied him, she said, "Seth, it doesn't have to be this way."

  It was like she could read his mind, which was something he had never considered possible until this Nora had come back from the brink of death. Now, he wasn't so sure.

  "Yeah, it does," he told her. "Before he died, I promised your pa I'd look after you." A sad smile, full of regret for what could never be touched his mouth briefly. “That means protecting you from men like me."

  "Even if I don't want the protection?"

  "Especially then."

  She looked like she wanted to argue the point some more, but he was just too blamed tired to do it justice. Besides, she had to leave soon. The control he'd fought for so desperately couldn't last forever. "Go get some sleep, Nora," he said. "Please."

  "Sure. Sleep." She turned toward camp, muttering. “I’ll probably never get to sleep again, between you and those damned dreams….”

  "What dreams?" he asked.

  She tossed him a quick look over her shoulder and shook her head. "It's nothing. Besides, you wouldn't-"

  "Understand," he finished for her, used to hearing that one particular phrase.

  She smiled all too briefly. "Exactly."

  Seth nodded and didn't say another word as he watched her go. But his mind raced with questions to which there were no answers. Was she experiencing the same sort of dreams that had been haunting him? And if she was, what did that mean?

  He stared after her until she had stepped into camp. For several long moments, he stood quietly in the shadows of the pines, wishing things were different. Then, he turned and went to take up his nightguard position again.

  At least for tonight, he could keep her safe.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  "We'll be riding along Elk Ridge and down into Shale

  Basin today," Seth said, then took a long sip of coffee. "You best get started as soon as you can. We'll be leaving directly."

  "We'll see you at the Basin, then," Red said, his voice rough from too little sleep.

  Nora wanted to groan aloud at the thought of another day spent jouncing around in a saddle. But she thought better of it, since this entire trip had been her idea. Besides, her behind wasn't quite as sore as it had been the day before. Maybe she was starting to get used to sitting on top of a giant rocking horse.

  But whether she was or not, she still planned to be one of the first owners of a Model A or T or whatever the heck the first car was called.

  She glanced around at the faces of the people huddled close to the campfire. Elizabeth and Richard looked as tired as she felt. Hannah, in spite of being twice the age of everyone else, appeared to be in her element. Her round cheeks rosy with the morning chill,
she had bustled around the campsite, humming a lively tune while she made breakfast.

  "You ready?” Seth asked and Nora dragged her gaze from the older woman to look at him.

  His features seemed harder this morning. More closed off. Apparently their little tryst in the forest had done nothing to soften him up toward her. If anything, it had pushed him in the opposite direction. Well, fine. Lack of sleep and hormones whipped into a frenzy and then left to wither away had made her fairly cranky, too. But it wasn't her fault. She had been more than willing to do her part in lessening the tension around here. It was him and those high ideals of his that had brought them to this point.

  "Yeah," she snapped, glaring at him. “I'm ready.”

  "Let's ride, then."

  "A gracious invitation," she muttered. Setting her coffee cup down onto the ground, Nora turned to look at Hannah again. "Sorry I can't stay and help you clean up.”

  "Don't you worry about that," Hannah told her.

  “I’ll help," Elizabeth piped up and both women turned to stare at her. Apparently their expressions mirrored their astonishment. She glanced from one to the other of them. "Well, I will.”

  Nora couldn't have been more surprised if the skillet had offered to go to the riverbank and wash itself. Shaking her head, she stood up and brushed her hands against her thighs.

  Richard scrambled to his feet and walked around the campfire to stand beside her. "Would you like me to ride with you today?" he asked quietly, capturing her gaze with his.

  She winced slightly. It wasn't that she hated the man or anything, but if he was along, she'd have to spend the entire day listening to he and Seth bristle and snarl at each other. Now she knew she’d have a sore butt when the day was finished. But if she could help it, she wouldn't have a headache to top it off.

  "Thanks Richard, but I don't think so."

  He reached for her hand and stroked her knuckles with the pad of his thumb. "It's difficult for me, Nora, watching you spending so much time with Murdoch.”

  She pulled her hand free. A quick movement behind him caught Nora's eye and she looked in time to see a brief flash of emotion cross Elizabeth's features before the woman ducked her head. Shifting her gaze back to the man in front of her, Nora said, “I’m sorry, Richard." She took a step back from him. “This is just the way things are going to be.”

  Reaching down, she snatched up the hat she was already used to wearing, plopped it onto her head, then slipped her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

  Richard nodded, and succeeded at masking whatever he was thinking. "I’ll escort you to your horse."

  "You don't have to," she said, already turning.

  "I insist, my dear."

  She stiffened and wished he would stop calling her dear. Hadn't she already told him that she wasn't interested in marrying him? Nora glanced at Elizabeth again in time to see her shoot Richard a look shimmering with an emotion that she was quick to hide.

  Well, what did she have to be angry about?

  "Nora!” Seth shouted, "You comin'?"

  "Keep your shirt on, cowboy,” she muttered and lifted one hand to indicate that she'd heard him.

  Richard walked alongside her until they reached the two saddled horses. "Be careful, love," he said quietly.

  "Oh," she assured him, “I'm always careful." She took a quick look at Seth and noticed the man's eyes narrow as he watched Richard and her together.

  Oh, yeah. She didn't need to have the two of them too close together for any extended length of time. Nora hurried around to Sadie's left side. Richard was right behind her. As she grabbed hold of the saddle horn, preparing to swing aboard, Richard stepped up close to her. She stuffed her left foot into the stirrup and hopped. A moment later, she felt Richard's hands on her backside, giving her a push into the saddle.

  Once she had her seat, she looked down at Richard, whose self-satisfied smile told her he'd done that deliberately. Then she shot Seth a quick glance and almost shivered from the chill in his eyes. He looked at her for a long moment, then tugged at his horse's reins, jabbed his bootheels into its sides, and started off, leaving Nora to follow.

  She jerked the horse's reins, turning the animal and paused only long enough to say, "Thanks a lot," to Richard before she urged Sadie into a trot.

  #

  Two hours later, Nora stared daggers at Seth's broad back before determinedly shifting her gaze. He hadn't said more than "Hurry up" to her all morning, making his feelings perfectly clear. He wanted her, he just didn't want her.

  She kept seeing the look on his face as he watched Richard lay his hands on her behind. Boy, if looks really could kill. Richard would have been six feet under with a lovely wreath and a tasteful, commemorative ribbon atop his grave.

  Seth Murdoch was really starting to annoy her. He was determined to keep his distance from her, yet at the same time, he didn't want anybody else to get near her either.

  "Watch yourself up ahead," he called out suddenly.

  The sound of his voice startled Nora out of her thoughts. "What do you know?" she commented sarcastically. "He speaks.”

  Bracing one hand on the back of the saddle, Seth half-turned to look back at her. His blue eyes narrowed, commanding her attention. “Listen to me, Nora.”

  She frowned at the serious tone in his voice.

  "There's a real narrow patch coming up. Steep incline on the left, a drop off on the right.”

  "Drop off?" she repeated, not liking the sound of that. "How deep a drop off?"

  He shrugged. "About a hundred feet. Maybe more."

  "Jesus! A cliff." She never had been crazy about heights. Not in any lifetime.

  "It's not that bad," he told her. "Just pay attention to what you're doing."

  "Let's go another way," she suggested. “There must be more than one way into this basin you were talking about."

  He turned his head and looked out at the heavily forested land stretching out for miles. "There is, but it would take most of the day to get there.”

  "So?" What the heck did a small delay matter? They were talking about cliffs here.

  "So, if we go back, we'll never get to the basin before sunset. And traveling through the woods after dark isn't a good idea if you can avoid it."

  "Oh." Well, hell. They either rode along a cliff's edge or they wandered through the forest at night. Neither choice sounded like a picnic.

  "You'll be fine," he said, his features softening briefly. "Just ride where I ride and let Sadie go at her own pace."

  "Hear that?" Nora asked her horse and leaned forward to pat the mare's neck. "You're in charge."

  "Sit straight in the saddle," he added. “Try not to lean to one side.”

  She considered asking him to tie her into the saddle, but managed to restrain herself. "Couldn't I just walk across on my own two feet?”

  "Nope." He turned back around and nudged his horse into a walk. "Sadie's footing's better than yours. Just trust her and sit still."

  There was no more time for arguments. The mare started walking and Nora tried not to think about where they were headed. As they came out of the tree line though, her breath caught and she heard herself gasp aloud.

  "Trust Sadie," he said again.

  “Is prayer allowed?” she said, her voice breaking. She looked down into a deep canyon littered with brush, boulders, and scraggly pines that looked as though they didn't have enough soil or water to grow into real trees.

  "Sure," he said and she thought she heard a buried chuckle in his voice. "Quiet ones."

  "Quiet," she mumbled to herself as Sadie started onto the narrow path. Nora tilted her head to the left, staring up at the sheer rock face of the mountain. Anything was better than looking out at all that space that lay below her.

  Her fingers tightened reflexively on the reins. She really hoped Sadie knew what she was doing. The trail beneath the mare's hooves couldn't have been more than two feet wide.

  Nora's left stirrup brushed against the rocky w
all on her left and she forced herself to look straight ahead. Her feet dug hard into the stirrups, pulling tightly down on the worn leather.

  A scattering of pebbles rattled and rolled down the incline, across the path, and down into the canyon. She stiffened, her mouth dry, as she waited for an avalanche to come raining down on her.

  Ahead of her, Seth looked as relaxed as if he was seated in front of a fire back home in the kitchen. How did he do that? She gasped as a swift, sharp breeze sailed past her, whipping her hair into her eyes. Cautiously, she lifted one hand and dragged the loose strands free, clearing her vision.

  Maybe, she told herself, it wasn't so much that Seth was calm as that she was terrified. What if she simply didn't belong here? What if she couldn't cope with the everyday things that everyone else dealt with so matter-of-factly?

  Blast it, this was not the kind of life she had imagined when she had struck her deal with the Resettlement Committee. One of her hands flew to the ring beneath her shirt and touched it briefly. The image of Tom, Dick, and Harry rose up in her brain and she muttered, "You guys have a lot to answer for."

  "What is it, Nora?" Harry's voice rang out clearly in her mind.

  She blinked wildly, then glanced at Seth, as if to assure herself he couldn't hear what was going on. She hadn't really expected to reach one of her cosmic Three Stooges. Hearing from Harry so quickly had thrown her for a loop. She couldn't very well talk to him without Seth hearing, could she?

  "Just think whatever you want to say, my dear," Harry suggested. "I'll hear you."

  They might have told her that earlier in the game.

  "So, what about all of this down here?” she said mentally. "Are you guys paying attention to what's happening?"

  "Certainly. What seems to be the matter?"

  "Well, for starters, I'm in the wrong century.”

  "Now, now, let's not go over that again. I believe that particular complaint has already been addressed.”

  "Fine. We'll leave that for a minute. What about the rest of it?”

  Sadie's foot slipped and the mare scrambled inelegantly for balance. Nora gasped and pushed her feet even more firmly into the stirrups. Perfect. Wouldn't you know that the one time her little trio answered her promptly would be the one instance where she needed to concentrate on praying?