Worth the Risk (St. James Book 3)

by Jamie Beck

  “Thank you for making her feel safe, then. I’d certainly be the last person to judge you, or her for choosing a friend like you.”

  His insides were turning colder by the minute, but he willed himself to sit on his temper. “I’ll always put Gabby first; you can count on that.”

  Apparently sensing Jackson’s barely leashed outrage, Gabby jumped into the discussion. “Mom, I need to go. I need time to digest everything. Give me time to think, and I’ll call you with whatever decisions I make about the future.”

  Her mom sighed, head bowed. “Okay. Just remember, if you give me a chance—like you’re giving Jackson—I swear I won’t let you down. I’ll do anything to have you back in my life, and to meet my grandson.”

  Jackson shoved his hands in his pockets to keep his fist from driving through the drywall. How dare this woman keep comparing him, a stranger, to her horrible choices and habits? And a little piece of him was not happy that Gabby had let her mom draw such wrong conclusions.

  Gabby, however, seemed in another world, her expression solemn. “It’ll be a very long time before I’d let you into Luc’s life, so please keep realistic expectations.”

  “Whatever you say, honey.” Then she approached Gabby. “Would it be too much to ask for a hug good-bye?”

  Jackson noticed a rush of uncertain surprise fill Gabby’s eyes before she raised her arms. He guessed she feared any kind of rejection would send Marie back to the streets.

  For the first time, Jackson considered that perhaps Jon had been right to discourage this meeting. Now, no matter what happened next, Gabby would be worrying about Marie. By coming today, she’d unwittingly taken on the burden of concern—and maybe even misplaced responsibility—for Marie’s welfare. The thought made him sick, especially because he’d encouraged the meeting.

  When he projected ahead to what might be another round of heartbreak for this brave young woman he’d been so lucky to meet, his stomach tightened. Then his thoughts turned toward his own family. All this time he’d been thinking so much about how he’d trust them again, when in reality, they would probably not trust him any easier.

  “I’ll be in touch in a couple of weeks, Mom. Whatever I decide, I’ll let you know.” Gabby eased out of the awkward embrace.

  “That’s all I can ask.” Marie inhaled slowly. Her tight smile didn’t fool Jackson. He suspected the woman had expected Gabby to be more eager for a reunion.

  Marie waved as Gabby and Jackson strode across the parking lot toward his Jeep, and he couldn’t have been happier to leave.

  Jackson fell silent during the drive to Luc’s preschool. Partly because he figured Gabby needed time to think, and partly because Mrs. Bouchard’s situation forced him to think about a bunch of stuff he didn’t know how to address in his own life.

  He’d been so off in space, he didn’t know Gabby had been crying until he heard her sniffle. He pulled over and put the car in park. “What can I do?” And then, because physical comfort had always worked for him, he kissed her. “I hate seeing you upset.”

  “I should be happy, right? After all these years, I actually saw my mom. She apologized. She’s sober. There’s hope for a future relationship. On the surface, it’s all good, but I feel . . . afraid.”

  For the first time since they’d met, Jackson lied to Gabby. “You’ve got nothing to fear. You’re in control, and anything you choose is okay.”

  Her faint smile told him she knew it’d been a lie, or at least an exaggeration. Some lies were worthwhile, though. He knew firsthand how fear could change a person, and he didn’t want to see Gabby’s heart change one bit.

  Maybe it was too little, too late. In less than one hour, Marie had already stolen Gabby’s peace of mind.

  “Hey, you’ve got lots of time to deal with your mom. Let’s think about something more fun, like the party this weekend.”

  That remark earned him a dimpled smile, and suddenly he knew that, together, they could weather any storm.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jackson smothered a smile when yet another toddler broke down in frustration in the middle of the small maze he and Gabby had constructed from bales of hay. It’d taken him half of yesterday and all morning to help her deck out the yard for this costume party. The maze had been the hardest job, but they’d also carved a bunch of pumpkins, built a spooky scarecrow, and set up a pin-the-heart-on-the-skeleton game she’d found on Pinterest.

  Fortunately, the weather cooperated by giving them a sunny, if chilly, day. As he soaked up the simple pleasure of the shindig, he marveled at the shrieks and mess that a dozen young kids could make.

  A little boy dressed as Superman darted in front of him, chased by an older girl in a princess costume. Jackson chuckled to himself thinking about how, in a few years, that chase would reverse.

  As for his own costume, he’d slicked back his hair and dressed up as Dracula, donning a cheap, black satin cape, fake teeth, and ruby-red lips. The choice had been particularly effective earlier when caving to Luc’s pleas to play “monstore” with the kids, all of whom he’d won over pretty easily.

  A month ago he would never have envisioned spending his time this way, let alone enjoying it. Satisfaction flooded him, warming the distant, fragile pieces of his heart he’d guarded these past couple of years.

  Gabby had parked her dad at the picnic table with one of the other kid’s grandmothers, and then proceeded to set out large covered tins of fruit and potato salad. She’d dressed as a Dalmatian and, damn, she looked cute as hell with her little blackened nose and floppy ears.

  Her big smile indicated she enjoyed being the hostess. Thankfully the festivities had given her something more pleasant than her mom to think about these past few days. Only twice had she mentioned Marie—both times at night, after they’d made love. He let her talk, offering only support now instead of advice.

  Wishing to be near her now, Jackson made his way across the lawn. “Want me to start flipping burgers?”

  “Sure.” She smiled as she lumbered toward the back door in her costume. “Everyone’s having a good time, huh?”

  He followed her into the kitchen. Once inside, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest, right where she should be. He bared his false vampire teeth and said, “I vant to suck your blood.”

  She craned her neck, teasing, “Please do!”

  Jackson removed his fangs, tugged her costume aside, and then planted a quick kiss near her collarbone before shoving the vampire teeth back into his mouth. “Later.”

  “I’ll hold you to it.” She flashed a saucy look when she turned around.

  That look always knocked his knees out from under him. “Give me the burgers before I change my mind about waiting.”

  “Thanks for helping today.” She went to the refrigerator and handed him a tray of premade patties and a large spatula. “This is so much easier with an extra set of hands.”

  “No place I’d rather be, although I can think of a few better uses for my hands.” He winked, then wandered out of the kitchen carrying everything and nearly ran into Noah, who must’ve just arrived. “Sorry!”

  Seemed that Noah decided his uniform could pull double duty as a costume. He eyed Jackson’s outfit. “Looks like things are already in full swing.”

  “Don’t worry, these little tykes won’t lose steam anytime soon.” Jackson smiled, hoping to keep Noah’s nose from feeling knocked out of joint by his presence. “Has Luc seen you yet?”

  Gabby breezed through the door then. “Oh! I didn’t know you came. Maybe you can corral the kids while Jackson cooks and I set up the plates and stuff?”

  “Sure.” Noah’s eyes homed in on the red smudge at the base of Gabby’s neck, then his gaze darted to Jackson’s ruby lips. A streak of resentment exploded in his eyes, but he quickly snuffed it out. “Anything for our boy.”

  Our boy. Noah hadn’t emphasized the words, but Jackson knew them to have been deliberate. Like a lion, Noah had just marked his terr
itory. Jackson, however, had no plans to stand down. Hell, he might feel sorry for Noah if the man had ever tried to be part of his son’s life. The fact that Noah walked away from Luc and Gabby proved him unworthy and stupid, which diminished Jackson’s pity and guilt.

  “By the way, you might want to wipe that red smudge off your neck, Gabby. Wouldn’t want folks to get the wrong idea now, would you?” He stared at her as if he enjoyed making her uncomfortable.

  Using the back of her hand, she swiped at her neck without showing any sign of remorse or discomfort.

  “Jackson, can you get those burgers started, please?” She smiled sweetly, but Jackson guessed she wanted to say something to Noah in private.

  “Sure.” Jackson walked to the grill, wishing he could hear their conversation over the din of children’s laughter and the Halloween music blaring from the speaker.

  “Need a hand?” Jon asked, having sneaked up on him from behind.

  “Nah, I’m all set. You go relax. I think Gabby had a plan in mind when she sat you beside Carrie’s grandmother.” Jackson smiled, hoping to dispel some of the awkwardness he’d been feeling with Jon since he’d started seeing Gabby.

  “That girl’s always been a dreamer.” Jon glanced past Jackson toward Gabby and Noah. “Romantic notions are fun for the young, but you and I are old enough to know better.”

  The unsubtle remark struck several chords. Jackson and Gabby’s age gap and the temporary nature of his visit in Vermont might make Jon view this new relationship as a foolish lark. Yet, when Jackson spent time with Gabby, foolish didn’t describe his state of mind at all. And the age gap seemed less and less important the more he’d come to know her. In some ways, she even seemed more mature than him. She certainly recovered from disappointments a helluva lot faster.

  “Dreamers move mountains, Jon.” Jackson flipped a row of burgers and avoided making eye contact. “Without dreams, there’s no hope. Without hope, there’s not much to look forward to, is there?”

  “But dreamers also suffer more than realists, because most dreams don’t come true.” Jon raised one brow.

  Jackson couldn’t help but admire Jon—a man who loved and protected his family without being demanding or rude. However, Jackson didn’t happen to agree with his opinion about dreamers.

  “But when the dream does come true, it’s magic.” Jackson grinned. Magic aptly defined the gift of meeting Gabby.

  A frustrated grin crept across Jon’s face as he shook his head. “So you’re a dreamer, too.”

  Used to be. Not so much anymore. But lately that dormant side of him had sprung back to life.

  “I try to avoid labels these days.” He managed as honest an answer as possible at that point in his life.

  Jon’s constipated expression suggested he’d stifled an overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. Then he grew pensive. “Has Gabby spoken with her mother since their meeting?”

  Jackson went still, debating how to answer. “Did you ask her?”

  “No. Given my disapproval, she’s not likely to share anything with me for a while.”

  “It’s not my place to say.” Jackson realized Jon wouldn’t back off when the man continued to stare at him, silently demanding information. “If it’ll ease your mind, as far as I know, they haven’t spoken again. Gabby asked for time to think it all through. I haven’t pushed her to talk it out because she needs to come to this decision on her own.”

  Jon tipped his head to study Jackson, but said nothing. Then Luc’s calling out “Dada” attuned them to the commotion in the yard.

  “Noah’s usually been a no-show at these little parties.” Jon glanced back at Jackson. “Must sense the competition.”

  “Too bad it took my presence to make him appreciate his son and Gabby.” Jackson piled the cooked burgers onto a clean platter. “Excuse me while I take these to the table.”

  Jon followed Jackson across the yard to the two picnic tables. Luc broke away from Noah and dashed toward them. “Jackson, come play with me.”

  “I’m busy helping your mom, buddy.” Sensing Noah’s gaze burning a hole through his head, he added, “But I bet your daddy would like to play.”

  Jon acknowledged Noah then held his hand out to Luc. “Luc, come sit with me and eat some dinner.”

  Noah relinquished Luc to Jon and, with a curt nod at Jackson, wandered away. Chaos took a backseat to hunger, and the other parents helped gather the kids and fix their plates.

  Jackson searched for Gabby. By the time he picked her out in the crowd, Noah had already caught up to her. Jackson resisted the impulse to interrupt them. If Noah planned some campaign to win back Gabby, Jackson couldn’t afford to get sucked in to each small battle for her attention.

  Noah had time on his side—time to prove he’d changed, time to offer help or compliments or whatever else he thought would further his cause.

  Jackson’s time was running out. His only option was to give Gabby the respect she wanted—to allow her the room she needed to make her own decisions. The only advantage he had over Noah was that, to date, he’d never let her down. She could count on him without question.

  The thought of leaving Gabby before they had time to figure out if what they shared was more than a burning infatuation ate at him. Turning away to regain control of his faltering mood, he decided to fix himself a plate. He was heaping potato salad on his plate when the crunching sound of gravel caught his attention.

  A small, beat-up Toyota pulled into the driveway and parked askew. Seconds later, Gabby’s mom got out of the car.

  Jackson watched Gabby’s expression shift from shock to panic. Noah’s brows shot up, but then he immediately wrapped his arm around Gabby for support. Jackson might’ve been jealous, but he figured Gabby barely registered Noah’s presence, because her gaze remained utterly locked on her mother.

  “What’s she doing here?” Jon’s angry voice drifted across Jackson’s shoulder before the man himself appeared at his side.

  “I have no idea. Noah’s got Gabby. You stay here and keep Luc occupied, and I’ll go deal with your ex.” Jackson didn’t wait for Jon’s consent. His stride ate up the ground between him and Marie. Her gaze darted across the yard, probably searching for her grandson.

  Marie clutched the frame of the open car door, her gaze zooming from the crowd to Jackson to Gabby and back to Jackson. Her befuddled demeanor differed greatly from the calm, remorseful woman she’d presented to Gabby earlier this week. When Jackson drew near, Marie stepped back.

  “Marie, if you want a relationship with Gabby, the best thing you can do right now is get back in your car and wait to hear from her like you promised.”

  “I only want to see my grandson.” She craned her neck, steadying herself against the car. Was she that nervous?

  “Now isn’t the time. Trust me, you haven’t done yourself any favors by barging in here uninvited.” Jackson gestured toward her car. “You need to go, please.”

  Jackson stepped toward the front door but she raised her voice. “Stop!”

  Suddenly Noah and Gabby were at his side.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?” Gabby asked.

  “I want to see Luc.” Mrs. Bouchard wobbled and Jackson realized that she might be high, or drunk. “Please, Gabby, please let me look at him.”

  “No, Mom,” Gabby said. “You promised to let me decide.”

  Noah’s confusion about what was happening didn’t stop him from going into cop mode and taking over.

  “Come on, Mrs. Bouchard, let’s not cause a scene in front of all these kids.” Noah flashed her the phony smile Jackson remembered from the diner.

  Mrs. Bouchard’s eyes narrowed. “Noah Jefferson, don’t try to sweet-talk me.”

  “Trust me, this ain’t sweet talk.” Noah’s smile tightened. “I’m trying real hard not to draw any more attention to this situation than need be. Doesn’t seem like you’re welcome here.”

  “Don’t you judge me, either.” Marie shook her finger at him. “I know al
l about the way you walked out on your son and my daughter. You’re no better than me.”

  “Mom!” Gabby stepped closer, then her nose wrinkled. Jackson had caught the scent of gin, too. Gabby’s voice turned sharp with disgust. “You’re not sober!”

  “I’m not high. I only had a drink.” Mrs. Bouchard’s mood deflated and she pulled a puss. “It’s your father’s fault. I know he’s trying to keep you and my grandson from me, so I took a drink to relax.”

  Jackson winced, recognizing the same justification he’d often used when drinking.

  “Please leave, Mom.” Gabby glanced around at the guests, whose attention had turned from their meals to the scene unfolding in the driveway.

  “Please, baby, let me see Luc for a minute.” Marie attempted to step past Gabby, but Jackson blocked her.

  “Dad was right.” Gabby’s voice cracked. “I can’t trust you. You couldn’t even keep the promise you made me the other day!”

  Noah cast a sharp glance at Gabby. “Why did you see her recently?”

  Before Gabby answered, Marie’s eyes hardened as she pointed at Jackson and croaked, “Why won’t you let me around my grandson, but you let him?”

  Gabby’s cheeks burned red beneath angry eyes. “It’s none of your business who I allow in my son’s life.”

  Marie wobbled again, then looked at Noah, gesturing toward Jackson with her thumb. “Do you know he’s got a drinking problem?”

  Jackson absorbed the blow without faltering, but his skin crawled under the weight of a dozen eyes or more ogling him. His mind riffled through a series of replies, but Gabby jumped in before he got one out. “Noah, if my mom doesn’t leave this minute, arrest her for trespassing.”

  Noah shot Jackson a hard look before turning his attention to Marie. “I can’t let you drive drunk. Get yourself into my squad car now and I’ll drive you to your motel so you can sober up. Hand your keys to Jackson and he can follow us.”