Worth the Risk (St. James Book 3)

by Jamie Beck

  He lost all sense of time until they both found their release together and came crashing back down to earth, bodies sweat soaked and intertwined.

  Gabby smiled and brushed aside his damp bangs. “I feel much happier now.”

  Jackson kissed her temple and tucked her against his chest. “Can you stay?”

  “Not all night.” She lazily traced the lines of his chest with her finger. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize.” He closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet and the heat of her little body.

  His mind aimlessly meandered but too soon recalled the events of the day. Marie’s drunken behavior, Noah’s stern glare, Jon’s concern, Gabby’s devastating disappointment, and Luc’s confusion.

  He hated to ruin the peaceful moment, but knew they had to address what had happened. “Did Luc have a lot of questions about the commotion today?”

  Gabby’s muscles tensed beneath his hands. “A little. I panicked and lied. Told him my mom was a stranger who got lost.”

  “That’s not a complete lie. She is a stranger to him, and a virtual one to you. And she is lost. Sadly, she might be hopelessly lost. Besides, most people believe that lies told to protect someone are probably okay.” Repeating David’s rationale for keeping his secret disturbed Jackson, but he pushed the feeling away. “You’re trying to protect your son, who’s too young to understand the truth anyway. I’m sure, at some point, you’ll be honest with him.”

  He felt a subtle shift in Gabby’s breathing. A heaviness borne of resignation and frustration.

  “I never want to hurt him like my mom’s hurt me. Truth is, I can’t be sure I wouldn’t become addicted to medication if I were in excruciating pain every day for months.” Gabby sighed. “All this time I’ve held on to a sliver of hope that she’d conquer the problem and return. That perhaps we could be friends. It sucks to have almost had that dream come true but then turn into a nightmare.”

  Jackson didn’t know what to say about that, so he squeezed her tighter and kissed her head again. How could he offer advice when he hadn’t sorted out his own family issues? Issues he could now admit ran both directions because, while he needed honesty from them, they needed him to prove that he wouldn’t be reckless. Maybe the best he could offer Gabby was to open up even more about his own situation so she didn’t feel so alone in hers.

  “I’m inviting my family up here to come to a counseling session.” As soon as the words came out, his stomach clenched.

  Gabby popped up onto one elbow and looked at him with a pleased grin. “Will I get to meet them?” Then she grimaced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. This isn’t about me . . . I know that. Are you looking forward to their visit, or dreading it?”

  “Both.” Jackson twirled some of her hair around his finger again and kissed it. “Kind of like lacrosse conditioning. The anticipation sucks and it’s hard work, but when you’re in it and getting stronger, you feel good.”

  “You played lacrosse?” she teased. “I bet all the cheerleaders chased you around.”

  He shrugged and smiled at the memories of his high school and college antics. “Yeah, I can’t lie. I had a good time on and off the field.”

  She slapped his shoulder, and he rolled her onto her back, nipping at her earlobe.

  “When do you have to go home?” he asked while feeling his cock stir back to life.

  “Hmmm.” She stroked his growing erection. “Not just yet.”

  “Good.” He cupped her face and kissed her, giving himself over to her and the lightness she brought to his heart.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Doug Kilpatrick countered your settlement offer.” Oliver fell silent, apparently allowing Jackson a minute to brace himself. “He’s demanding one hundred thou—”

  “Stop!” Jackson repressed the urge to throw his phone against the wall. “The answer is no.”

  “Jackson, we must—” Oliver began.

  “Don’t tell me what I must do. You’re crazy if you think I’ll ever pay that jerk twice his salary after his own shitty behavior got him fired!” The artery at the base of Jackson’s neck nearly burst, it throbbed so hard.

  David broke in. “No one is suggesting you meet his demand. This is a negotiation. We’ve got an eighty-eight-thousand-dollar gap between your offer and his. Now we fire back. The question is how much.”

  “The answer is nothing.” Jackson folded one arm across his chest, tucking his hand under his armpit, while he held the phone with the other. Instead of letting the circumstances take control from him, he took control of them. Felt damn good, too.

  “No counter?” Oliver asked.

  “No. Nothing, Oliver . . . as in, pull the original offer, too. See how happy that fucker is to have walked away from three months’ salary because he thought he had me over a barrel.”

  “Jackson, I don’t advise you to take that action,” Oliver said slowly.

  “Understood.” Jackson grinned to himself. “Do it anyway.”

  “Jackson,” David began.

  “No, David. I’d rather go to court. If a judge or jury thinks he deserves anything, then I’ll accept that. I’m not willing to be fleeced by him like some coward. My reputation and the quality of my work speak for themselves. If I suffer six months of a downturn, so be it. I know who I am and what I can do. No one, especially not him, can take that away from me.”

  Jackson heard them conferring on the other end of the line again. Finally, Oliver spoke. “I’ll call his lawyer and pull the original offer. I hope you’re prepared for what could be an ugly, protracted fight.”

  “I’m ready.” And oddly, Jackson believed it.

  “Jackson, hang on the line a second. Oliver is going back to his office to make the call,” David said.

  “Sure.” Jackson waited until Oliver left the office.

  “Jackson,” David began. “I’m concerned about your decision.”

  “Don’t be. I heard your advice and I take full responsibility for any negative blowback. But it’s my business, my reputation, and my call to make.”

  “Fair enough.” David paused. “You sound good, actually. Not angry, just decided.”

  “I am.” Jackson smiled, letting the truth of it flow through him. Not only was Jackson decided about this matter, but he’d also put to bed his doubts about getting involved with Gabby. Since their heart-to-heart a couple of nights ago, he’d allowed himself to embrace his good fate.

  “Your doctor must be great. I look forward to meeting him next week.”

  “He’s a good guy. I’m not sure I’d say I look forward to the family session, but I hope it’s a step in the right direction.”

  “As do Vivi and I.”

  Jackson smiled, as he always did when thinking of Vivi. “How’s the pregnancy going?”

  “Good. We had another ultrasound last week. I’ll send you a copy, if you’d like. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father in five months.”

  David, a father. Jackson knew his brother would be protective, strict, yet gentle, too. Unlike Jackson, who’d been a little rowdy and reckless, David had always been an observer and a peacemaker. He’d prized structure and order, and needed to understand the hows and whys of everything. David couldn’t have chosen a more opposite partner than Vivi, but somehow they provided each other a sense of balance.

  “It must be an amazing feeling.” Jackson meant it, too. Of course, he thought about the baby he might have had. He then thought about Luc, and about his soon-to-be niece or nephew. There were many ways to love a child and be a role model. Alison had stolen something important from him, but now he could see that she hadn’t robbed him of every chance for happiness. He’d been doing that to himself.

  “So, have you spoken with Dad about the counseling session?” Unease laced David’s tone.

  “Yes. Why?”

  David hesitated before answering. “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit, David. Whatever he’s said to you can’t be worse than what he said to me.” />
  “What did he say to you?” David’s anger edged his voice as he went into big-brother mode.

  “Pretty much what you’d expect. He didn’t hide his disappointment, but he’s coming, which is enough.”

  “He can be a son of a bitch.”

  Jackson’s brows rose because David rarely used harsh language or raised his voice. “Given your recent history, I’m shocked you’re surprised.”

  After a pronounced pause, David said, “I suppose part of growing older is learning to accept our parents’ flaws—some of which are appalling. Sometimes, though, I wish we could go back to being ignorant and utterly trusting.”

  Jackson sensed David’s musings loomed larger than he cared to discuss. Before he could say anything, David muttered, “Mom always acted happily married, but she sure deserved more love than she got.”

  David’s voice had taken on a gruff quality, as if his throat had tightened. Jackson almost pushed the conversation, sensing suddenly that his mom might have something to do with the big secret. But his hesitation cost him a chance to press his brother.

  “Hey, Jackson, I’ve got to run to another meeting.” David’s abrupt shift of focus gave Jackson whiplash. “See you next week.”

  “Bye.” Slightly dissatisfied, Jackson set the phone on the counter and refilled his travel coffee mug with an extra-strong Starbucks blend. When he headed out the door, a brisk November day greeted him.

  He trotted down the rickety stairs and went to his car. Garbage day in the ’hood. Hoping to set aside the unease the end of his conversation with David had instilled, he unfolded the map of homes Jon managed and mentally retraced the efficient path he’d figured out last week.

  Of course, today’s duties didn’t require much thought, which gave him too much time to dwell on the past. Each of the vacation homes he serviced made him think about his family’s second home on Block Island—the years they’d spent taking friends and family there.

  When he reflected on his mother’s time on the island, he mostly remembered her in the kitchen, or reading a magazine on a deck chair, or, when they got older, mixing a pitcher of sangria and breaking out a deck of cards. His father had only ever come for two or three days at a time, and even then, had usually been preoccupied. He’d never mistreated his wife, but now that Jackson thought of it, he hadn’t been affectionate.

  His mom probably had craved more than she’d received. Had she suffered in silence for her kids’ sake? Did his parents’ marriage have something to do with the big secret? A sickening feeling took root in Jackson’s gut as he neared the dump.

  Fortunately, his phone rang before the unease overwhelmed him.

  “Yello,” he said.

  “Jackson, it’s me,” Hank said. “You got a minute?”

  “Sure. I may lose you because I’m driving on some rural roads, but I’ll call you back if you drop out.”

  “Okay. It’s about Ray. Well, really the whole crew, but Ray spoke with me. Did you pull your settlement offer?”

  Jackson straightened in his seat, knuckles whitening around the steering wheel. In an even tone, he said, “Yep.”

  “Ray just heard from Doug, who apparently went ballistic today after getting that call. He’s gunning for you big time now. It’s got the crew nervous. Given your lengthy absence, morale isn’t good. I’m concerned they may start looking for other jobs.”

  Blindsided, Jackson pulled off the road. Each passing hour and conversation transformed his mood to something darker than the gray November clouds overhead.

  “Jackson? You still there?”

  “I’m here,” he snapped. “I need a second to process the fact that my own crew is afraid of that dickwad and doesn’t think I have the stones to see this through. That no one trusts me.”

  He heard Hank’s frustrated sigh.

  “Everything’s not about you, Jackson. They’ve got families to support. They’re concerned about the future in the face of a lawsuit. Secondly, I’m worried, too. I don’t want to see you put through the wringer when you’re working so hard to find balance. I know you feel like settling is rolling over, but I agree with your lawyers. The smart decision—personally and professionally—is to negotiate an end to this as soon as possible.”

  Jackson fell silent. A couple of hours ago he’d been certain of his decision to pull the offer, but he hadn’t considered the possibility of his crew seeking other employment. If they walked out on him now, he’d be up a creek.

  For almost five weeks he’d been focusing almost exclusively on his own peace of mind. He’d left Hank in charge, assuming that everything would be in place when he returned. Now he saw he’d been naïve to think he could compartmentalize his life so neatly. That he could ignore the day-to-day demands of his business without creating questions.

  “Hank, gather the crew at the office tomorrow morning for an early conference call.”

  “A little pep talk from you won’t resolve the problem.”

  “I hear you. I need the day to think about my options. First, I need you to tell me where things stand with each house and what the worst-case scenario would be if Ray and Jim left, for example. Call me with that update as soon as you can, then I’ll make some decisions and talk to everyone tomorrow.”

  He heard Hank’s sigh of relief through the phone. “Absolutely.”

  “Thanks for calling, Hank.” Jackson hung up, frowning.

  Dammit. Hiring Doug had been a misstep from start to finish. He could blame Doug for a majority of the bullshit, but Jackson couldn’t escape one cold truth. If he hadn’t been burning both ends of the candle, he probably wouldn’t have made the mistake of hiring Doug in the first place.

  Driving along a sunlit carpet of red and gold leaves lining the mountain road, Jackson considered how life away from the pressure cooker of Fairfield County had shifted his perspective on success and happiness. Gabby helped, too, he amended with a smile.

  Soon he’d be thrust back into his old world to face all the problems he’d temporarily left behind, some of which he’d created. Today he could turn to Gabby for comfort, but who would he turn to back home?

  Gabby was putting away the wheelbarrow after a long day of preparing her gardens for winter when she heard someone pull into the driveway. A grin curled her mouth. Jackson must’ve finished the dump runs a bit ahead of schedule.

  He’d called her earlier to see if her dad could babysit Luc tonight so they could go out to dinner. He wanted to take her to the Chop House at the Equinox Hotel in Manchester Center. She’d never eaten at anyplace that fancy before. Although she wasn’t sure she had an appropriate outfit for the occasion, she doubted Jackson would care.

  She exited the garage smiling, only to be disappointed to see Noah get out of his car.

  “Gabby.” He strode toward her, the late-afternoon sun casting shadows over the sharp features of his face.

  They hadn’t been alone together since he’d asked her for a second chance, nor had they discussed the situation with her mom. She had neither the interest nor time to revisit either of those topics, which required her to think fast and deflect.

  “Luc’s still at nursery school.” She forced herself to keep smiling.

  “I know, that’s why I’ve come now.” He glanced around. “Jackson’s not here, right?”

  Although Gabby didn’t believe Noah would ever physically hurt her, something about his demeanor opened a pit in her stomach. “Jackson’s out taking care of my dad’s garbage runs today.”

  “Good.” Noah drew a deep breath. “I want to know what’s going on with you and him, and, more importantly, if what your mom said about him is true.”

  Gabby refused to be bullied by Noah. “A. None of your business. B. Also none of your business.”

  “I beg to differ. If Jackson’s an addict and you’re letting him babysit our son, it sure as shit is my business.” A determined glint shone in Noah’s blue eyes.

  The subtle threat burned like lemon juice in a paper cut. “Since whe
n did you ever believe a thing my mom said, Noah?”

  “I don’t know what to believe, which is why I’m asking you. I’ve checked around. He’s not been to any AA meetings, but he’s been seen coming out of Doc Millard’s.”

  “How dare you spy on him! He’s done nothing but be kind and generous. Good grief, you barely paid attention to us for three years, now all of a sudden we’re your top priority? Please, let’s go back to the way things were before you gave a fig about me or Luc.”

  “Just answer my questions.” His flinty eyes locked on hers. “How involved with him are you now?”

  How dare he? How dare he make her answer to him after he’d paraded around town with a string of women since dumping her? In the heat of the moment, she lashed out. “Jackson is the best thing that’s ever come my way.”

  “Oh, Gabs.” Noah laughed before he sneered. “Let me tell you, sweetheart, you’re just a piece of small-town ass to him. He’s on vacation, or in rehab. Either way, you’ll be dropped the minute he goes home.”

  “Think whatever you like, Noah. The truth is that you know nothing about him.”

  “Frankly, Gabs, how much can you really know about him and his life? Have you met his family or friends? How do you know he doesn’t have some other girl waiting for him back home?”

  “Not every one’s faithless like you. In any case, Jackson and I are none of your concern.”

  Noah had the audacity to shake his head in a pitying manner. “Your mom made you so desperate for love that you’re willing to put our son in harm’s way for a guy you barely know.”

  She stepped back, his blow having struck her deep inside. When she found her voice, she said, “Maybe, but she didn’t make me desperate enough to want you back.”

  Noah’s expression turned menacing. “Two months from now, when Mr. Wonderful hasn’t called or visited, we’ll see how you feel.” His voice had climbed a few decibels at that point. “In the meantime, I don’t want him—or your mom—near Luc.”

  Gabby rolled her eyes. “Honestly, if you weren’t so damn annoying right now, you’d be comical.”