by Andrea Hurtt
“You’re the only one with a car, so please. Wanna meet for breakfast first?”
Blaze, always the smart one.
Not.
“Yeah, I’m sure Hope will want to see Grace one more time, just in case.”
They finalized their plans and said their goodbye’s.
Nick finished his beer and waited for Hope to get out of the bathroom.
After a while, he started getting irritated.
What is taking her so long?
He got another beer.
He’d heard the water turn on, and assumed she was taking a bath.
She really liked baths.
Nick really liked joining her in them.
He tried the door, but as suspected, it was locked.
He’d had enough.
“Hope, what’s going on in there?”
She didn’t reply.
Nick knocked harder. “Babe. can you open the door?”
Nothing.
“God damn it, what the fuck is going on?”
There was no reason for her to ignore him.
He continued his rant at the closed door. “I don’t understand you. We had a great day. Then you break down into tears and storm off. I can’t get to know you better when you block me like this. Talk to me!”
Nothing.
That was it.
Growing up with siblings that did things like this, he’d learned how to pick a lock.
Nick Rushed to the desk, and found his target. A paperclip in the information packet from the hotel.
He twisted the small metal into a mostly straight line. The bathroom door had a tiny hole where he slipped the clip in.
After a little wiggling, he heard the telltale sound of the lock clicking.
“What the fuck is going on, Hope?” he practically screamed at her.
She was lying in the bathtub, the water murky from soap, and hiding most of her body.
Hope didn’t move, despite his yell.
His heart thundered in his ears, and bile was creeping up to choke him. “Hope?” He reached for her; moving at what seemed like slow motion, to touch her.
Her skin was warm.
Okay, she’s alive.
His hand on her shot her straight up; water splashed everywhere.
“Shit!” Hope squealed, pulling white headphones from her ears.
He hadn’t seen them when he’d come in.
She looked around, her eyes finally landing on him. “I guess I fell asleep.”
He didn’t move, as residual shock still swirled in his gut.
“Can you hand me a towel? This water’s freezing,” she said.
She has no clue I was yelling at her.
He grabbed the closest towel and passed it her way.
“Nick? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
He swallowed once, then twice, before he could finally find his voice. “I was calling for you and you weren’t answering. I thought you…” he couldn’t say the words.
His sister’s death dominated his brain. He hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen her, but had visualized, more than once, what it would’ve looked like.
Hope wasn’t suicidal, but the thought of his sister still lingered.
“I’m sorry. I had my earbuds in. I can’t believe I fell asleep. Guess I was more tired than I realized.” She started drying her hair, obviously still having no idea what she’d done to him.
Rather than start a fight, Nick turned on his heels and stepped back into the bedroom. He paced for a few moments, trying to get his thoughts back in line.
Do I just drop it, or push, and find out why she was crying?
He assumed this would be their last night together for a while, and he didn’t want to make it worse. How could he be there for her in the future, if he didn’t know what was up in the present?
I’ll wait and see if she says anything. Otherwise, we can talk about it in the morning.
A yawn escaped his lips.
“See, you’re tired, too,” Hope teased, retreating from the now-dark bathroom. “As much as I’d love to spend tonight with you buried deep in me, I think we both need to sleep. But tomorrow night…” She twirled her finger over the bed.
Nick didn’t respond while he undressed. He sighed. “I’ve got to go back to L.A. tomorrow. With Blaze and Grace. We’ve already missed the first rehearsal and will miss tomorrow, too. Management is demanding we return. Immediately.”
“Oh,” she whispered, climbing in beside him.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“Come with me to L.A.. I’m stuck there for the next six weeks with rehearsals. You can stay with me and help Grace during the day. It would be great!”
“Nick, you know I can’t. I have a job to get back to, and animals that need me. I can’t just pack up and go.”
There was more to it, he could hear it in her voice. The way she’d hesitated at the end. There was something else she wanted to say, but didn’t.
Hope switched the light off on her side of the bed, leaving only the faint glow from the lamp next to him. “How am I getting home?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I’ll get you a ticket in the morning, back to Washington.”
Nick flicked his light off when she rolled away from him.
Chapter 18
“Are you sure you can’t come back to L.A.? Just for a few days?” Grace held her hand across the table at the little diner they were holed up in. Her best friend tried hard to hide the pain she was in, both physically and emotionally. It was there, in the slight crease in her brow, and the way she gently bit at her bottom lip. Two signs she was in distress.
“I wish I could. But you know how hard it was for me to get away for your show. I really do have to get back to my life. My animals need me.”
Her bestie released her hand, and she watched it return to Blaze’s larger one.
The man held onto Grace, like she could float away.
Hope was grateful her friend had someone now. She deserved to be loved. Truly loved.
As much as she hated to admit it, the dark-haired, tattooed, bad-boy of Razor’s Edge was exactly what her bestie needed. Even if they’d only known each other for two weeks.
Did that matter?
It was the same time she’d known Nick.
Hope pushed those thoughts away. She didn’t want to deal with any of the answers.
“What time is your flight?” Blaze asked, sounding like he was trying to help lighten the rather somber mood that seemed to surround them all.
“I got her a flight with Delta that leaves about thirty minutes before us. The agent said it was in the same terminal as our private flight. So we can stay together a little longer,” Nick said.
The sadness in his voice broke her heart.
The popstar lived a life she could never be a part of.
She’d learned that last night.
It wasn’t just the cameras in her face, or the paparazzi calling her a trollop. The complete invasion of privacy.
Hope was a very private person. That wasn’t something she wanted to deal with.
When Nick had made her the center of attention on national television, it’d been bad enough. The games they’d played on the show were fun, and helped distract her, but the thought of being seen by millions of people had made her ill.
Was he worth it?
Unlike her best friend, who’d found instant love, that wasn’t what she and Nick were experiencing…was it?
Professing one’s love on TV didn’t make it any more real than professing it in private.
Actually, she felt like it’d been pushed.
Was it real?
She contemplated those words over and over as they sped to the airport.
Nick was abnormally quiet; Blaze and Grace were making nauseating happy couple noises from the back seat.
She glanced down at her phone every so often, the ping of notifications drawing her back to the screen.
/> “You should put it on silent or turn off notifications until you get home. It’ll just drive you nuts if you focus on it,” Nick said, touching her hand.
“I know,” she whispered.
“I promise, you really do get used to it. It’s nothing but background noise. It’s something Grace will learn all about in just a few hours, I’m sure.” He glanced over his shoulder, trying to get his buddy’s attention, yet kept his eyes on the road. “Dude. Have you given Grace the 4-1-1 on learning to be in the spotlight?”
Blaze chuckled. “Seriously, bro? She’s a star in her own right. I’m sure she’s been in the spotlight many times. But yeah, we had the ‘talk’.”
“Think we’ll be okay at the airport?” Grace asked.
“Yeah, according to Twitter, they’re all still hovering around the hospital. Guess someone told them Blaze’s new toy was still there,” Hope teased, trying to lighten her own melancholy mood.
“Is that why your phone’s going crazy?” her bestie inquired.
“I made the mistake of going on twitter this morning, while Nick was in the shower. I wanted to see what horrible things they’d said about me last night. It’s a rabbit hole I should’ve stayed away from.”
“I told you!” he scolded. “They’re full of shit.”
“But they’re right. Why would a guy as hot as you want a fat cow like me?” Hope’s voice dropped so low; maybe they hadn’t heard. Did she want them to?
“Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” Grace retorted, laughter in her tone.
“Damn it, Gracie! Now’s not the time for your stupid movie quotes!” Tears burned the corners of her eyes.
“Now’s the perfect time for stupid movie quotes,” Blaze said. “Never listen to the media. They want to get a rise outta you. That’s how they make their money. And you’re handing it to them in spades! Hakuna Your Tatas!”
Hope giggled, despite her dark thoughts. “I’m not sure what that means, but thanks.”
“I’m not ready to say goodbye,” Nick crooned as they stood at her gate.
The boarding had already started, but he wanted her to be one of the last on, even after she’d told him of her anxiety and desire to be one of the first people on.
“I don’t even know when I’ll get to see you again. It might be awhile.”
She smiled. Should she comfort him or hurry away? What did Hope want?
He was an amazing man, a good brother, and a friend. Definitely the best lover she'd ever had. No one could compare to him. Not that she’d ever hold someone to that high of a standard.
It was good while it lasted.
Epic, even.
Like anything too good in life, it had to end.
He pulled her into his arms, not saying a word, and kissed her.
It was a last goodbye kiss. Deep, passionate, and final.
So, he feels the same.
This really is goodbye.
Nick released her from his tight grip, sliding his hands down her arm to grab her hands. He gave a gentle squeeze and kissed her on the top of her head. “Text me when you land. I want to know you made it safe.”
Hope couldn’t form words, so she nodded. She slipped away from his touch and faced her best friend.
Grace gave her a hug to rival Nick’s, tears streaming down her cheeks unchecked. “I’m gonna miss you! Promise you’ll come to see me. Maybe Thanksgiving?” There was desperation in her long-time friend’s voice.
“You know I can’t make any promises, Elvis. But I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all I ask. Now go, before I never let you leave!”
She gave her best friend one more tight hug and turned on her heels to rush for the door.
Hope couldn’t look back at Nick, couldn’t see his blue eyes one more time.
She was a ball of nerves her entire flight home. That wasn’t abnormal. This time, she was so upset over the way things had ended; she got motion sick and had to jump up from her seat, so as not to puke on the man sitting beside her. Once again grateful she always asked for the dreaded aisle seat.
Hope wiped at the sweat on her brow, rinsed out her mouth, and returned to her seat.
The attendant had seen her distress and brought her a small glass of ginger ale to help ease her stomach.
The landing was smooth, and the moment she could turn her cell back on she sent out texts.
HOPE: Gracie, I landed. Should be home in less than an hour. How did things go for you?
HOPE: Thank you for everything, Nick. You changed my life so much in such a short time. I’ll forever be grateful. I’ll be home soon. Gonna crash hard.
She didn’t expect an answer for a while. They were flying a further distance.
Hope was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Wiped out in every way possible.
When she got home, her excited dogs greeted her. They were bouncing around. When she got inside and spotted a destroyed couch cushion, it shouted how unhappy they were with her.
The housesitter had fed all the animals that morning before leaving, but it was late in the evening, so Hope’s first order of business was to feed everyone, again.
The familiar routine relaxed her. She was home. Back to normal, back to reality.
The week she’d spend in L.A. had been a dream.
Beautiful, unreal. Perfect.
The few days she’d spent in Denver had been a bucket of ice water.
Her best friend was broken, but had an amazing man to put her back together. Grace had spent the last three years in the spotlight, so the paparazzi wouldn’t be that big of a deal for her.
Just another way they were so very different.
She would miss Nick.
But it was for the better.
Hope was just crawling into bed when her phone rang.
“Hey! We landed at LAX. Blaze is gonna take me to his place tonight. We’re both beat. Then tomorrow we’ll go check out my new townhome. I’ll call you after six, in case you go to work,” Grace said.
“Thanks. I miss you all ready. But…” Tears stung her eyes. “I’m glad you have Blaze to take care of you.”
How could she admit she was jealous?
Not only of the intense passion the two of them shared, but Hope was being replaced in her friend’s life.
No! I can’t think like that!
“You sound tired, too. Get some sleep. Love ya, sis.”
“Love ya, too.”
After letting her bestie go, she waited.
And waited.
An hour passed, Nick never replied.
Hope set her phone to silent, then placed it on her nightstand.
So I am right. We’re done.
A single tear slipped down her cheek to get lost in her pillow.
If this is for the best, why does it hurt so bad?
Chapter 19
Nick read the text for what must’ve been the hundredth time. The words Hope sent didn’t change.
Neither did the way he interpreted them.
“Thank you for everything, Nick. You changed my life in such a short time. I will forever be grateful.”
Those were words of goodbye.
He’d dated enough women to know when they were breaking things off. It sounded just like all those times.
But hurt so much more.
He was sick to his stomach.
“Hello, Earth to Nick,” Blaze said, shoulder bumping him to get his attention. “Have you listened to a word I said?”
“Uh, no. Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Are you all right? You’re not looking so good,” Grace said. She reached to check his forehead.
Her touch was kind, but it wasn’t her hands he wanted on him.
“Fine. Just tired.”
His best friend grabbed his upper arm and yanked to force him his way. “Grace is right. You look like shit. Maybe you should crash at my place tonight.”
Nick’s cheeks flush with heat. “Nah, you two need your alone time.”
&nbs
p; Blaze chuckled and pulled his keys out of his bag. “There won’t be sweet butter lovin ' tonight. She’s not in any shape for that kind of activity. Sorry, babe,” he turned to Grace.
Her face was molted red.
“Just leave your car here, we’ll come back for it later. You need to crash,” his friend finished.
“Oh, Nick. Did you call Hope?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I heard you talk to her. I know she’s good. I’ll try tomorrow.”
Or not. Why push if she doesn’t want me?
He sat on the edge of the bed in the guest room of Blaze’s Burbank home. He could hear his buddy getting Grace settled in for the night.
In the morning, they’d drop him back off at the airport to get his car, before going to check out her new townhome.
Nick had to remind his buddy they still had to show up for rehearsals. Even if it was just to let everyone see they were still alive.
He also needed to get the keys to the temp apartment Sarah had secured for him. Most likely, it was in the same complex as the other guys who didn’t live in L.A.. Everyone but Blaze.
Sleep eluded him.
Nick’s thoughts kept returning to Hope. He turned over every thought of why she’d pushed him away.
It was subtle. But there nonetheless.
Was it something I did, or said?
Was it the paparazzi?
He’d told her he loved her, for God’s sake. Did she not believe him?
Sure, living in the spotlight wasn’t always easy. When a guy found someone that could be his everything, it was worth it.
Wasn’t it?
Nick glanced at the clock again. 1:42 a.m.
He just wanted to sleep!
Somewhere after two a.m., he bolted awake, after finally drifting off.
Grace was screaming.
Pure panic filled the house.
He jumped from his bed to run to the sound.
In Blaze’s bedroom, his buddy was wrapped tight around Grace, holding her while she sobbed uncontrollably.
The man he called brother looked at him, and without a sound, mouthed the words, “It’s okay. Go back to bed.”
Nick walked like a zombie back to the guest room. A tear slipped down his cheek, leaving a hot trail.