Spilled Coffee

by J. B. Chicoine

  “Thanks.”

  “You don’t like pink.”

  “Hate it. It’s all my mother used to let me wear.” She opened her closet door. “The stupid bride’s maid dress was the last pink I’ll ever be seen in.”

  My whole bedroom at Safe Haven could fit inside her closet. Clothes hung evenly spaced, not crammed full the way I would have envisioned a rich girl’s wardrobe. She even had her very own bathroom.

  I walked over to the big picture window overlooking the lawn and a full view of our float. The sight of it made me queasy. When she stood beside me, her nearness gave me goose bumps.

  I exhaled. “Nice view.”

  “Yeah. I always know when you’re out on your float.”

  My face heated. Had she sometimes stayed inside if she saw I was outside?

  She glanced at me. “You’re not the only one who knows how to stare.”

  I didn’t want to talk about staring—mine or hers. “So, are you going to the carnival on Saturday?”

  “Maybe. Depends.”

  “On what?”

  She grinned. “On who’s going to be there.”

  “Well, maybe if you end up going, we could go on a couple rides together.”

  “I like the Ferris wheel.”

  “What about the Turkish Twister?”

  “I love that!”

  The excitement that beamed from her face turned to that look again, but I sure as heck wasn’t going to get caught kissing Amelia in her bedroom. And even if I had tried, we would have been interrupted two seconds later, when the front door squeaked open.

  “Hello, hello!” Her mother’s voice echoed around the foyer and up into Amelia’s room.

  Oh, great! That meant Ricky had also returned. Amelia closed her eyes with a huff. “They weren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow. I hate when she does that—just assuming everyone will drop everything for her.”

  “Aaaammeeee …” Karen’s voice echoed again, “Where aaaarrrrre you?”

  “Coming Mother.” She glanced at me. “Come on.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to have Amelia’s mother see me coming out of her daughter’s room, but I obeyed. I stepped out onto the balcony behind her. Karen and Dick stood below.

  Karen gave me a curious look. “Well, hello, Jim.”

  “His name is Benjamin, Mother.”

  “Well, I was close,” she laughed. “Sorry, Ben.”

  Doc came out through the service doorway. “Well, this is a nice surprise.” His voice didn’t carry the same enthusiasm it had the last time they arrived early, but he hugged his daughter anyway and then shook Dick’s hand. “How was Rio?”

  “An absolute blast,” Karen said, glancing up at us. “Well, aren’t you going to come down and hug your mom?”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “Where’s Ricky?” Doc asked as I lagged behind.

  “Oh, he’s parking the car and getting our bags. He’s such a fine young man, Daddy. I can’t wait for you to get to know him.”

  Amelia exhaled a cough and although I couldn’t see her face, I was sure her eyes rolled. At that moment, Ricky stepped through the front door. His gaze landed first on me, then Amelia, and then on Doc as Ricky approached him with an outstretched hand. “It’s nice to see you again, sir.”

  Doc offered a tight-lipped smile. How much did Doc know about the wedding night fiasco?

  With her arms limp at her side, Amelia surrendered to her mother’s embrace.

  “That’s no way to greet your mom,” Karen chided.

  “Sorry. I just finished lugging my bags upstairs.”

  “Oh, never mind. Let’s go have some lunch.” Karen looped her arm through Amelia’s and ushered her toward the great room door.

  Amelia offered a weak smile as she looked back at me. “See ya’, Benjamin. Thanks for helping.”

  Dick and Doc followed the girls. Ricky stalled as I made my way to the exit.

  “Hey, Fixer-man,” Ricky said as I passed by. “Listen, I’m really sorry, guy—I accidently ran over your bike. But you’re so clever, I’m sure you can fix it.”

  I spun to face him. “You what?”

  His smirk turned to a chuckle. “You really shouldn’t leave your junk lying around in the middle of the driveway.”

  I’m sure he enjoyed every shade of red coloring my face. As he walked out of the room, I said nothing, only because I was so mad I couldn’t spit out a word even if I had been able to think of something.

  I let myself out. My bike lay on the lawn beside the driveway, right where I had left it. A tire print flattened the grass leading up to my crushed front rim and spokes. Ricky had bent the whole wheel so bad that I had to carry my bike up the hill. How was I going to explain that to Mom? I dragged the crumpled mess to the overgrown side of the lean-to and tucked it out of sight. I could fix it, but it would never be right. If there were any consolation, I hoped that would be the extent of Ricky’s payback.

  Chapter 26

  The kitchen water faucet gasps and sputters, spewing rusty liquid. I don’t wait long enough for hot water to travel from the basement. With my hands rinsed, I grab for a yellowed paper towel hanging under the cabinet and think twice. Gross. Instead, I blot my hands on my shorts and reach for the Spam. I pop the key off the bottom and insert the tab. As a kid, such a simple mechanism fascinated me—a machine in its most basic form. I loved twisting the metal band as it coiled around until it returned to where it started. Voila, the can opens.

  As I go through the motions, the metaphor, Can of Worms, comes to mind. Best not to think about worms, since I’m about to consume this can’s contents. Here’s a better platitude: What goes around, comes around. On second thought, I’m not sure I like that any better. It’s a little misleading in its simplicity. Over the years, I have learned that resolution, or Karma as Sunshine would say, is never simple and it does not take collateral damage into account.

  It’s true that innocent people end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, but who can claim complete innocence? I have had difficulty sifting through what I was—am—responsible for, and what I’m not. I can claim only my own stupidities and deceits, not anyone else’s—Penny’s, to be specific. Perhaps ‘innocence’ is better defined by lesser degrees of guiltiness. Of course, in some cases, guilt can be unequivocally assigned.

  My stomach still doesn’t feel quite right. Perhaps I’ll change out of my swim trunks before I eat.

  Mom, Penny, Frankie, Skip, and I crossed the field beside Garver’s Market where we had parked the Galaxie. We passed Lenny’s Rambler a few rows over. I hoped that meant Christopher would also be at the carnival. As we walked through the archway entrance on our way to the short line at the ticket booth, Mom doled out three singles to each of us. I pocketed mine and scanned the crowd for Christopher and then surveyed the parking lot again, hoping for Amelia. I didn’t find either of them. Instead, my sights landed on Ricky standing by the Turkish Twister. Our eyes met. His usual smirk morphed with curiosity as his gaze settled on Penny and then back to me.

  Had it just occurred to Ricky that Penny was my sister and more of a hippie groupie, rather than a full-fledged member of their crew? Penny had always shown up and left before or after me—at the lunar landing broadcast and the wedding—and she appeared enough like one of the hippies to be overlooked; clearly hands-off.

  From the shift of Ricky’s eyes, I read his thoughts: She’s your sister? She’s your sister!

  At that moment, I wished I had told Penny about what a lecher Ricky was and how he had molested Amelia, but Penny and I hadn’t been talking as much lately. I glanced at my sister as she tucked stray hairs behind her ear and scanned the grounds. To my relief, she seemed to overlook Ricky in her search for Percy.

  Just then, I heard the Jag. It rolled into the field and parked. Sunshine climbed out first, and then a familiar pair of plaid pedal pushers poked out from the passenger seat. Next came sleeveless shoulders and strawberry curls. Amelia.

 
; Mom grabbed my arm and then Penny’s. “I’m going to stay with Frankie and Skippy, but I want the two of you to stick together, do you understand? And meet us back here at nine o’clock.”

  Penny gasped, “Nine o’clock?”

  “All the lowlife come out after nine,” Mom said, clutching Frankie. “I want my babies back here at nine sharp.”

  “Nine-thirty—please Mom?”

  “Nine. And that’s that.”

  Three hours was better than nothing. I yanked my sister’s arm. “C’mon Penny, let’s not waste time.”

  I wanted to lag behind and wait for Amelia to catch up, but Penny had spotted Percy and was on the move. She ambled right past Ricky. I ignored him, though in my peripheral vision I caught him watching.

  Christopher called out from his wheelchair, drawing my attention to him. He sat beside Lenny who wore his unbuttoned vest, jeans, and army boots. They both watched Percy at the high striker. Penny and I wove through the crowd toward them as Percy hurled the sledgehammer onto the pad. The red weight climbed to the line between Good Girl and 1000. That seemed pretty decent to me. I would have been thrilled with 900.

  “Hi, Penny,” Christopher said with a smile. “Hey, Ben.”

  Penny offered a barely audible, “Hello.”

  As I greeted everyone, Lenny took his place, lifted the hammer with ease, and let it drop. The bell rung instantly. Both Lenny and Percy grinned, slapping each other on the back, as if neither cared who was stronger. It was all in good fun.

  Christopher nudged me. “Are you going for it?”

  I was curious to see how close I could come to grown men. As I thought about it, Penny came up behind Percy, but Candace, who suddenly showed up, beat her to it and grabbed Percy’s arm, planting a huge kiss right on his mouth. Her chest flattened against his—well, nothing could entirely flatten her chest. Penny stopped in her tracks. When Percy spotted her, his expression wilted. Penny turned away and began to wander off. Percy said something to Candace and then caught up with Penny. As Percy led her away, Christopher’s gaze remained upon them.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said to Christopher.

  I followed them to where they slipped in between two nearby game booths, and I stood between them and the moving crowd. Percy stroked her arm, exuding sincerity as he said a few quiet words, trying to catch her gaze. I turned away to give them more privacy. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I studied my feet and the trampled grass and cigarette butts. I glanced over at Christopher. He still had his eye on Penny.

  To my side, T-shirts and gauze skirts hung from a rack beside baubles and cigarette lighters. I poked at a troll hanging from a key chain, trying to look as if I wasn’t straining to listen in. Even if I couldn’t make out every word or see gestures, I picked up on the tone of the conversation. Since Percy was doing most of the talking, I speculated on what he might be saying, though Penny gave it away with her high-pitched voice. “I’m not too young!”

  “I’m sorry, Penny—” he said as she rushed past, tears streaming down her face. Percy looked at me and shrugged, wagging his head contritely. I turned to catch up with my sister and strode beside her as she disappeared between another couple of booths, out of the way of foot traffic. I followed.

  She muttered, “Jailbait—what is jailbait anyway?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “He just thinks I’m some little kid.”

  “I think he does like you, Penny, it’s just you’re not as old as Candace. He probably likes older women, is all.”

  “Don’t tell me ‘I told you so.’”

  “I wasn’t going to.” Even though I wanted to.

  She wiped her eyes. “I’m not too young.”

  “Penny—”

  “Shut up Ben—you don’t know how it feels.”

  I folded my arms across my chest, angry and sympathetic at the same time.

  She fanned her face. “Do my eyes look puffy?”

  “A little. But not bad. Let’s go on a ride and then you’ll be all better. Well, you’ll look better anyway. Pale and green will camouflage your red nose.”

  As we stepped out from between the booths, Christopher wheeled up on his own. I looked for Lenny; he offered a nod.

  Christopher grinned. “Let’s go on some rides.”

  Just then, Amelia approached the three of us.

  “Hi guys.” She looked my sister in the eye. “You okay, Penny?”

  Penny snarled, “Yes!”

  Amelia backed off, directing her attention to Christopher and me. “You guys wanna go on the roller coaster?”

  As I said, “Yeah,” Penny said, “My stomach doesn’t feel like the roller coaster right now.”

  It didn’t occur to me that Christopher might not be able to get on—or even handle the roller coaster.

  “How about the Ferris wheel?” Amelia stepped closer to me.

  Penny shrugged. “Okay.”

  Christopher nodded.

  I started off with Amelia on one side, Christopher on the other, and Penny trailing close behind, but it wasn’t long before the wheelchair lagged and ended up beside my sister. Smooth.

  The four of us made our way through the wafting aroma of hot dogs, cigarettes, and buttery popcorn.

  “You want some cotton candy or anything?” Christopher asked, directing his question to all of us.

  “No,” Penny said. I didn’t want any either. We continued onward, bumping people, weaving our way through the crowd. By the time we arrived at the Ferris wheel, three buckets remained empty. When it came our turn to board, the scrawny carnie cut in front of Christopher’s chair, a cigarette drooping from his mouth.

  “Sorry, man—no cripples allowed.”

  “I’m not a cripple. I just want a ride.”

  “Sorry, buddy.” He took a long drag off his cigarette and slowly blew it down at Christopher. “No can do.”

  Before the smoke had a chance to dissipate, Lenny stepped out of the crowd and landed his big mitt on the carnie’s pointy shoulder. Lenny’s chest expanded and his biceps strained. “He’s going on the ride.”

  The carnie coughed out a puff as Lenny lifted the bar. Without thinking, I reacted, helping Christopher out of his chair and into the bucket. Lenny climbed in beside him and winked at me. “It’s the boots, man. No one messes with the boots!”

  I need to get me some boots like that!

  Penny hung back. “You guys go ahead—I don’t mind sitting by myself.”

  “You sure?” I asked, still stunned at what had just taken place with Christopher.

  She nudged me forward. “Yeah, you two go ahead.”

  I tore off a couple tickets. The carnie avoided eye contact as I handed them over. As Amelia and I took our seat, the attendant pulled the bar down in front of us. He hit the lever. Our bucket rocked and rose forward, then paused for Penny to board in the seat after us. At the last second, Ricky showed up.

  Without a word, he slipped into the seat beside Penny, and then asked, “Do you mind if I share the ride?”

  Penny smiled bashfully. “I guess not.”

  I couldn’t believe how brazen he was, especially with Lenny so close by. Amelia and I glanced down behind us at Ricky’s wide grin.

  Amelia’s fingertips dug into my bare knee as we exchanged concerned looks.

  “Did you tell her?” Amelia said under her breath.

  “You mean about Ricky?”

  She nodded.

  “No. I haven’t told anyone.”

  She leaned into me. “You have to talk to her.”

  I let out a long sigh. “Yeah.”

  Her hand, still on my knee, relaxed. I let go of the bar and took her palm, lacing her fingers through mine. She squeezed back.

  As our bucket elevated, with Penny and Ricky down behind us, I sensed his staring eyes. The gradual ascent put them below, and when they came into view beneath and in front of us, the two of them faced each other. A serious expression fixed Penny’s brow as Ricky spoke. She shook her head and
rolled her eyes, but not with annoyance. Instead of focusing on each other, both Amelia and I leaned forward as if we might catch the drift of their conversation, but as the ride peaked, we lost sight of them. I shrugged. Amelia snuggled closer to me, looking all around the fair grounds as the cycle repeated itself.

  I glanced up behind at Christopher, whose smile tensed. Every time Ricky and Penny came into view, my insides withered with disappointment for Christopher. My sister’s smile curled with increasing ease, although Ricky hadn’t inched any closer.

  On our last ascent, as we overlooked the park, I would have sprung a kiss on Amelia, but I didn’t want to make Christopher feel any worse. Besides that, I caught sight of Dora below, waiting her turn in line with Mrs. Garver. As Dora stared up at Amelia and me, her usual smile twisted to a frown. I hoped she wasn’t going to start bawling.

  Lenny and Christopher came off the ride first. It took a minute to wrangle Christopher into his chair and move aside so others could take their bucket seat. Amelia and I were next. As I waited for Penny—hoping to pull her aside—Dora came up to me.

  “Hi, Isadora,” I said, hoping that might bring back her smile.

  “Do you want to go on the ride with me?”

  I just couldn’t make her cry again and chose my words carefully. “I wish I could, I mean, I’d really like to, but—”

  With a sympathetic glance, Mrs. Garver intervened, “Dora, it would be rude for Ben to leave his date,” and moved her ahead, into the seat vacated by Penny and Ricky.

  As soon as the Garver’s rail lowered, I grabbed my sister’s arm. “Penny—”

  “I’m fine, Ben. Ricky and I are just going to hang out together.”

  Amelia cut in. “Then we’ll come with.”

  Penny rolled her eyes. “It’s a free country.”

  As soon as Lenny had Christopher repositioned in his chair, Lenny put it in motion. Christopher waved. “Catch you guys later.”

  It seemed as if everyone I wanted to keep track of was scattering.