All This Time

by Marie Wathen

  “What?” he asks seriously, looking almost offended. I burst out laughing, clutching one hand around my stomach and covering my mouth with the other. “Oh, shut up and let’s go eat,” he insists guffawing with me too.

  Once inside, I discover the place is actually pretty fabulous and definitely more my style than some fine dining establishment. We stuff ourselves on noodles, rice and samplings of every chicken version they offer. Even after repeatedly telling him what I like, he still stubbornly makes me try a bite of each until I tell him my new favorites. We’re offered a fortune cookie on our way out to the car, but he stops me from cracking it open until we’re sitting inside.

  “So the rule is you have to take a bite before you read the fortune,” Blues explains popping opening the plastic wrapper and crunching on the end all while flashing a sexy smirk.

  I follow suit while staring back at him amusingly, holding his hypnotic stare. We remain silent listening to each other crunching, and before I can read my fortune he snatches it away, exchanging mine with his.

  “You read mine and I’ll read yours.” He holds mine out of reach, like I’m going to fight him to get it back. Laughing at his silliness, I just shrug and read his first.

  “86400 seconds in a day to speak the truth,” I recite quirking an expectant eyebrow up while studying him. His face suddenly pales and then a flood of red creeps up his neck. Slowly he turns and looks at me. “Well?” I ask smiling and waiting for him to read mine.

  “Angel,” he starts in a shaky whisper with a very serious look that sends a shiver down my back. Oh god, don’t tell me again that you’re falling for me.

  “Blues, are you going to read mine now?” I ask hoping to detour whatever weird revelation he is planning.

  He blinks and glances down at the little scrap of paper while bobbing his head. “Until you break you don’t know your strength, it all lies in the rebuild.”

  “In bed…” I add while laughing.

  He snaps up his head with a curious smirk. “What?” he chuckles.

  I laugh and reply, “It’s just a stupid thing my girlfriend from college always says after reading her fortune.” I shrug when he continues to stare at me with that sexy as hell smile frozen of his face. “What?”

  “Kiss me,” he demands in a deep growl as he leans across the console of the car and I do. Slowly and methodically, I kiss him with everything in me. In just the span of twenty-four hours Blues has made me feel more than any guy before him and my heart is overflowing. It’s forbidden and something I shouldn’t allow anyway, but I know that when this trip ends ours will be a sweet and fleeting affair.

  “Doll?” he says starting the SUV and backing out of the parking lot.

  “Hmm,” I murmur resting the tips of my fingers on my swollen lips, wanting to sear this moment in my mind forever.

  “I didn’t know that you went to college.”

  Instantly my heart skitters to a halt. Fuuuuuccccckkkk. My cover!

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  Thankfully, I recover with a plausible lie about attending one semester of a junior college which he accepted easily. I can’t believe that I dropped my guard nearly screwing up my whole investigation. I must be more careful.

  Around six o’clock, we pull up to a residence on the coast of Chesapeake Bay. It’s a small two story blue dwelling that resembles a dollhouse. Wordlessly he assists me out of the vehicle and with our hands linked together again, he ushers me up the front steps. He pushes open the door and I realize quickly that we are at a bed and breakfast. A sweet woman in her fifties shows us the Blue room and we laugh at the coincidence.

  “How long are we staying here?” I ask peeking into the bathroom, spotting a large claw-foot tub.

  Blues walks up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and puts his chin on my head. “We’re only staying tonight.” I nod and turn around in his arms. Rising up on my toes I place a kiss on his cheek and then move over to the love seat positioned in the middle of the sitting area facing the television. “Don’t get too comfortable,” he says with a chuckle in his voice, watching me slip off my shoes before tilting my head back to rest a moment. “We’re going out.”

  “I don’t really have anything appropriate to wear to some place fancy,” I counter looking over and seeing him unzip his bag.

  “I’m sure what you have will be fine.”

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “No,” he smirks devilishly, while putting his clothes in the dresser and closet. I let out a long frustrated grunt and he chuckles satisfied with his ability to irritate me. “I will tell you that I’m taking you to a place where I can finally do something that I have wanted to do for a long time.”

  “Evasive much?” I joke tossing one of my shoes at him hitting him right on his dimpled ass.

  “You’re a very bad girl, Angel,” he says, retrieving my shoe and returning it. “I’ll need you to get up now.” He holds a hand expectantly with a suspicious shine in his eyes.

  “Why? Are you going to spank me?” I joke and then see intense heat flare in his eyes as he tugs me up from my seat.

  “You want that, don’t you Doll?” he growls touching his forehead to mine after seeing the hopefulness in my eyes. Stroking both warm hands down my sides and over my hips, his fingers dig into my backside painfully, but delectably. “We’ll save that for another time. Right now I just want to be inside you.”

  He kisses me deeply, placing both hands on the sides of my face and tilting my head for better access. Continuing to nibble on my lips, he wraps me up in his arms and carries me to the bed where he spends the next hour doing exactly what he wants to my body.

  Another hour later, we drive into Richmond where we eat dinner at a small steakhouse before he escorts me down the block toward a packed jazz bar on the corner. Seeing the place reminds me of the night Wise died, and the memories assault me as if they’re happening all over again, but I try to keep my distress hidden.

  “I’m such a jackass. This may not have been the best idea,” Blues says holding my chair out and then sliding it under me as I sit. “I’m sorry, Doll. We don’t have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” He sits, drapes an arm over my shoulder and slips a hand under my chin. “That’s the last thing I want.”

  “It’s fine,” I say honestly staring into his hopeful eyes. Simultaneously we relax into each other.

  Blues orders our drinks and after downing them he asks, “Will you dance with me?” I nod and he takes my hand in his. He spins me around once before drawing me against his chest. “God I’ve been fantasizing about dancing with you for months.” He kisses my cheek while swaying us along with the deep slow sounds of a sad trumpet solo. His hands glide over the swell of my backside, rubbing and squeezing while he pulls me closer. I dig my fingers into his hair while he places soft kisses against my ear. “Having you in my arms is the best damn feeling Doll.”

  We grind our hips against each other, urging the desires of our body’s along with the sexy rhythm of the song. When the first song ends he refuses to let me go. Keeping me locked in his sweet embrace, he smiles while humming along with the music and moving us around the dance floor all night.

  “I could keep you like this forever.” His smile is brighter and sexier than I’ve ever seen before.

  Through every song he keeps his eyes locked on me and I know this because I can’t take mine off of him either. At the end of the evening he takes me back to the bed and breakfast. Once inside our room he finds a similar playlist on his phone to continue our sexy dancing. He keeps the music low so not to disturb the other guests, which totally adds to our building desires. Soft music, others possibly hearing us having sex and just being in each other’s arms is simply magical.

  With his lips brushing against my forehead, he whispers, “I want to make love to you,” he moves his lips down the side of my face, “until the sun comes up,” he kisses my cheek sweetly, “and then,” his mouth moves to my ear and his words vibrate
straight through to my core, “I want to hold you in my arms,” he presses hot lips against my neck, “and watch over you while you sleep.”

  My knees buckle making me sway into him. He sweeps me up into his strong arms and gently lays me on the bed. Blues begins loving me and before I know it the sun is piercing through the blinds as he pulls me against his chest, thoroughly sated and utterly boneless. With the remaining strength I have left over, I snuggle into the crook of his neck, breathing in deeply and offering him an exhausted kiss against his hot flesh. He groans happily low in his throat, turns and then presses a kiss to my forehead. A feeling of tranquility settles over me and before sleep drags me under I sigh with one final thought of the day, this is where I belong.

  Later in the afternoon we check out of the adorable bed and breakfast continuing on our journey south again for several hours. I know that soon enough we will be returning home, back to the way things were before the shooting, but something inside me wants to hold onto this time for just a little longer. Just after dark we arrive at a beach house on Seabrook Island. I notice as we approach that the entire house is pitch black, but luckily the moon is bright enough for us to see as we climb the stairs.

  “Are you hungry?” Blues asks turning on lights as we walk through the door making our way toward the bedroom.

  “Not particularly. Are you?”

  He shrugs, “I’m a guy. I can always eat.”

  “I’m still full from earlier, but don’t let me stop you,” I chuckle.

  “Nah, I wouldn’t, but first I have something else in mind.”

  He deposits our bags onto the bed and then laces his fingers through mine tugging toward the other side of the room. Opening the sliding glass door that leads out to the balcony overlooking the ocean, he steps out and pulls me into his arms. We watch the last of the people brave enough to walk in the cool temperatures scurry up the sand back into their condos.

  “Stay here,” he whispers against my neck, causing me to shudder, before disappearing inside the house. A minute later he emerges with two thick sweaters in hand. “Here,” he offers me one while he drags the other over his head. I copy him and laugh when the hem hits just above my knees. “Let’s go down,” he suggests before pulling me by the hand behind him and stepping onto the beach.

  Walking arm and arm along the edge of the waves, we talk about everything and nothing while watching the moon rise and move across the sky. Blues shares with me about his parents and the tragedy of their death. The way he speaks about his mother, in a tone that is the sweetest I’ve ever heard before, makes me feel so sorry that he lost her. He was only seventeen when she and his father were killed in a horrific plane crash. When speaking about his father his attitude shifts to loathing. He doesn’t explain the mood change, but I can tell that the relationship was acidic on both sides.

  “My brother is a member of a unique branch of the military. He is literally a ghost and a very skilled Mantracker. He stays on deployments sometimes for as long as a year, but it’s usually quick trips to gather intel or remove a threat.” He pauses looking down at me, drawing me closer against him. The cool air blustering off the frigid ocean is beginning to numb my extremities. “Your cold. Let’s start back.” Pivoting us around toward the beach house, he bends down and kisses the top of my head, connecting my face with his chest and I breathe in deeply completely intoxicated by his scent. “Anyway Attacus returned home after my decision and blew a fuse. He showed up at my house and began beating the shit out of me.” He chuckles softly, remembering the confrontation. “And I let him.”

  “I don’t blame him,” I mumble too softly for him to hear over the wind and waves.

  He continues talking about his siblings, joyfully at times, but he also admits how he knows he let them down with his decision to join forces with Nelson and the X’kapz. Disappointment or embarrassment flashes in his midnight blue eyes and he quickly diverts the conversation back to his childhood and growing up in North Georgia. I find myself smiling, laughing and even feeling ashamed for him through his disclosure.

  “So, a tattoo artist?” He arches an eyebrow while glancing down at me and stoking his thumb over the diamond etched on the inside of my wrist. From the way he asks I can tell that he isn’t judging, he honestly wants to know more about me.

  How can a man capable of so much bad be so attentive, good and loving? From what I can tell he is exposing himself raw and isn’t holding anything back while sharing stories of his life prior to turning bad. His honesty makes me feel guilty because I can’t share anything real with him and a part of me really wants this man to know everything about the real me, Samantha Walker. But, all I can offer him are my cover story lies.

  Finally around midnight we walk back up the steps of the beach house and admit that we are both famished. Unfortunately, we didn’t stop by a grocery store before arriving.

  “Breakfast at midnight?” he asks waggling his eyebrows trying to encourage me. I look down at my sand covered clothes and grimace while thinking about going out.

  “I would have to shower first,” I whine pitifully hoping that he will get the hint, but he only smiles while nodding his head agreeably.

  “Move that sexy ass.” He twirls me around on my heels, pointing me in the direction of the bedroom and disregarding my pouty lip.

  I give in and drag my nearly dead ass to the bathroom. There is so much sand caked on me that I have to wash my hair twice. Once I’m finished I put on a pale blue, short sleeve, tee-shirt and black cargo pants before stepping back into the bedroom. Taking a deep breath I think for a moment that my mind may be playing tricks on me. Bacon?

  Sneaking down the hallway following the heavenly scents, I find Blues busying himself in the kitchen. He cooked breakfast for me? He moves around the small space like a master, completely comfortable and familiar with the small space. Maybe he has been here before. Since I didn’t ask questions when we arrived, I suppose he could have. The smile on his face is pure happiness. Is it because of me? Could I really make a man like Blues this happy? It’s completely crazy, but, in all honesty, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. I grin as I tiptoe quietly entering the dining area, but he turns around like he could feel me approaching.

  “Hey Love, come dig in.” Proudly he points at a platter filled with an array of breakfast foods.

  “Where did all of this food come from?”

  “I have my ways,” he winks before opening the refrigerator.

  “You’re sneaky,” I accuse as I pluck a piece of bacon off of the tray in front of me. “I thought you were going to make me go out again.”

  Smiling proudly, he shakes his head while filling two glasses with milk. “Nah, tonight I want you all to myself.”

  “Um, Blues?” He glances over after sitting our drinks on the table and taking the seat beside me. “You’ve had me all to yourself for three days.” Leaning over he kisses my lips right before he steals the bacon right out of my hand. “Thief!” I growl while pinching his side. I reach for a new piece and gobble it down quickly, like the little bacon whore that I am, before he can take it too. “Mmm.”

  “Angel?”

  “Hmm?” I smile while devouring a second piece of lip-smacking goodness.

  “Three days are not enough,” he confesses quietly staring longingly at me with hooded eyes that reveal the depths of truth and yearning in deep dark blue. I wrap my arms around his neck, allowing him to bury his face into my hair. He is offering me all of him and it scares the shit out of me. Blues is everything I want, but absolutely nothing that I can ever have.

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  After another two days of staying at the beach house, Blues finally confesses that he owns it. He also admits that he had an assistance stock up the food supplies while we strolled along the beach our first night here, hoping to surprise me with his culinary skills.

  Yesterday he took me to a local, afterhours, clinic and kindly asked the onsite doctor to remove my cast. My arm is st
ill very tender, but the competent physician reassured me after a quick x-ray that the bone is healing nicely, but to continue using the sling for another week.

  When he isn’t being an absolute gentleman, he is rocking my fucking world in the bedroom. Taking extra and unnecessary precautions, he allows me to choose the most comfortable positions during sex. It works out great for my need to look away from him while he loves me. He is bold and excitable while also maintaining charm and affection. Last night, I cuddled against his warm body while he tenderly stroked my hair and grazed his fingers over the swell of my hips. He regards me like I actually matter to him.

  It really surprises me that Blues hasn’t tried to impress me with all of the things his money can buy or gain us access to, like Decks does. But I must admit that I’m happy he doesn’t feel the need to do it. I’m not that girl and apparently he is well aware. For me it’s the little things that count. Keeping everything from food to lodging normal and uncomplicated, he appreciates the simpler things too.

  It’s late in the afternoon exactly one week since Wise was shot and killed and we are sitting on the back deck wrapped in each other’s arms when the guilt of what I am doing begins to consume me. I have skipped out on my life, leaving behind responsibilities while allowing myself to believe that I could actually have all of this with Blues. Feeling like a professional boxer suffering from punch-drunk syndrome, I’ve allowed him to help me forget the heartache along with the role I’ve been playing for the past year. My body, mind and soul no longer feel like my own. It’s not all his fault. I’ve been fooling myself into believing the lie that I keep telling myself about how I just needed a little time away from all the bullshit. It’s nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors. The reality is Blues is part of the bullshit and I’m an idiot for buying into the illusion, even if it is for a short time. This charade must end now.

  “I’ll be back,” I say pulling out of his embrace.

  He smiles up at me before slipping his eyes closed and tipping his face up to the warm sun. “Hurry back, Love.” My god he is the most beautiful man.