All This Time

by Marie Wathen

  “Decks,” I whisper hoarsely, my voice thick in my throat like I might cry.

  “Don’t say anything,” he says soothing me. “I know you aren’t ready to take our relationship to that level and it’s cool. I just needed you to know before…” He glances at the front door of the probation office, jerking his chin toward the building, but implying our future. I nod weakly. Seeing my distress, he releases my hand and reaches for the inside truck door handle. “Come on.”

  The cold wind blows softly through the large buildings in the heart of downtown Atlanta. The early afternoon streets are busy and bustling with people rushing to get into their vehicles away from their jobs for the weekend. As we approach the glass door of the probation office Decks draws my hand into his and gives me an encouraging squeeze. I glance down at it before peeking up at him. His smile is genuine and his eyes are hopeful. Within the next few hours I will destroy every bit of love he has for me. Part of me feels guilty about using him so callously, but truthfully if I didn’t do this there is no telling how many innocent people would die at his hands or by his orders.

  Pulling open the door he allows me to enter first. I spot the same frail elderly woman I met the first time I came here when Decks left on his trip to the east coast. She nods her head, acknowledging us before picking up a phone and speaking softly into the receiver. We walk up to her large mahogany desk and lean against it waiting for her to finish speaking.

  “Mr. Stevens is ready for you both. Go through the door and take the hallway back to the end. Turn left and there is an interview room on the left. He will join you in a few moments.” She points toward the doorway and then quickly turns back to her work.

  “Mr. Stevens is my probation officer,” I reply to Decks’ lifted eyebrow before he has a chance to ask his question. “I called him earlier.”

  We follow the receptionist instructions walking into the small, eight by eight, room and taking two of the empty seats sitting in front of the small desk. Scanning the room quickly, I notice two small cameras suspending from the ceiling in corners of the wall opposite us. It’s a fact that everything said in this space will be videotaped. I remain silent still debating Decks confession. I don’t believe that he really loves me. Obsession would probably better describe his feelings. Love would have to involve more than what I have ever given him. Unless he is so starved for affection that he actually believes what we have between us is unique. In that case I kind of feel sorry for him. But not really.

  “Hello Ms. Johnson,” a familiar voice addresses me in the doorway behind us. I twist in my chair and see Captain Reebals strolling in the room with a large packet in his hands. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure.” He states coolly to Decks while holding out an outstretched hand. “I’m Captain Reebals with the Atlanta Police Department. I received a message from Mr. Stevens about an hour ago that said you two needed my assistance. Is that correct?” He releases Decks hand before walking around the desk and taking the empty seat. Looking intimidating as all get out, he leans back with his arms crossing over his chest.

  “That depends on what type of help you can offer,” Decks says tucking my hand in between his two large ones.

  “I understand your hesitation, but let me be very blunt with both of you. I want one thing and one thing only. You have the chance to help me get it so I’m not going to play games here. If you give me all of the information to bring down Nelson, I will give you complete immunity and a new life in witness protection.” He glances at me to make sure that I’m handling this bit of information appropriately.

  I admit I’m completely shocked that the district attorney’s office is willing to let him get away with the murder of Juan’s nephew so easily, but I understand that by cutting off the head of the snake the body will die soon after. Meaning there will be no more X’kapz once Decks spills every detail about the gang, including the gory details of Blues’ involvement within the organization. My stomach rolls knowing that soon every member of this faction will be served with arrest warrants and behind bars within the next couple of days. But my heart whispers its sadness over the loss of my one shot at true love. In my musings, Captain Reebals has continued explaining every detail to Decks, and I’m only aware that he is finally speaking to me when Decks grips my hand tightly.

  I glance over at my captain seeing the questions in his focused stare. “I’m sorry, what was it you asked?” The corner of his lips tug upwards into the tiniest smirk after pulling his focus away from my hand, lying precariously in Decks’, meeting my eyes and expressing something more than his words can. He’s proud of me.

  “I asked if you will please wait in the room next door. An assistant will be with you shortly to take your statement as well. Hopefully, we’ll have you both moved into protective custody before midnight.”

  I nod and rise from my chair attempting to pull out of Decks’ possessive hold. He stands too, turning me so that I face him. Both of his warm hands come up and wrap tenderly around my neck, his long fingers thrusting through my hair while his thumbs anchor under my chin, tilting it upward. He drops his mouth against mine and kisses me wildly. Pushing his tongue into my slightly parted lips he devours the gasp I give shocked by his forwardness. Moving his lips vigorously against mine his hands push into the back of my hair where he fists my tangled locks into a vice like hold. He moans deeply in his chest while pushing his body into mine. He is completely turned on at our most intimate exchange and I am utterly embarrassed that it’s happening right in front of my boss. I grip his upper arms and give him a small push, breaking our connection. He drops his forehead onto mine, piercing me with heated dark black eyes.

  “I will do anything for you, Angel,” he reminds me as I step out of the room and walk next door with the biggest smile plastered on my face that is so set in it will no doubt require Ajax to wash it off.

  Chapter Sixty-Five

  “That was interesting,” Russ states joining me in the same unmonitored room we were in a couple of months ago. Stepping through the doorway, he hugs me around the neck much in the same manner that he did before this case started–like a friend. “I actually think the fucker might have real feelings for you, Sam.”

  “Yeah, he can keep them.” I back up a step, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the administrator’s large desk in the private office. “Now are you going to tell me what happened at Holidays? I don’t believe that Juan walked in and pulled the trigger himself so tell me how it went down.”

  “Are you sure now is the best time for that?”

  “I have time. If you think Decks will give up everything easily to the captain you’re delusional,” I demand. Russ grunts, but takes a seat in the large leather chair behind the desk.

  “According to witness reports, Juan sat with Wise for a couple of minutes. The conversation was quiet and quick. After a couple of exchanges that referenced the lost shipment and Juan’s disappointment in the destroyed relationship he asked Wise to relay a message to Decks and Nelson.” Russ glances away from me and stares at the closed wood door before sighing heavily. “Everyone at the table watched him rise from the chair, make his way over to the bar where he ordered a drink then turned and offered a salute to the X’kapz. He downed the drink then made his way toward the entrance where he stopped by the pool tables. Murph and Jerrik, you know the new guy that replaced me?” I nod. I’ve seen the guy, but wasn’t introduced before that fateful night. “Well, they had been playing all night when Juan dropped a stack of quarters on the top of the table and then just as casually, he walked out the front door. The two guys they were playing, one was a white guy –” I interrupt remembering the men.

  “Yeah, I watched them play one game. The white guy was around forty with thin brown hair sprinkled with gray. He was dressed down in jeans, a black Gentleman Jack tee-shirt and a soft black leather coat, which he kept on the whole time.” Russ nods and I continue with my descriptions. “The other guy was black and dressed nice. Well, he was dressed like everyone e
lse unlike his tablemate. He was wearing khaki pants and a white button down shirt with a brown tie and matching loafers. He was in his early thirties. Oh, and on his left hand he had a college ring,” I pause trying to visualize the insignia on top of the stone. “It was Texas A&M.”

  He bobs his head, his eyes fixated on the top of the desk. “They were the shooters. After the silent exchange from Juan, they placed their pool sticks on top of the table and walked over to Wise’s table. While the black guy turned to face the dance floor, leaving his back to Wise and Natalie, the white guy lifted the gun to the side of Wise’s head.”

  “Damn,” I whisper lowering my eyes and feeling the hot tears burning a trail down my cheeks. “The crowd would have suspected more Hispanics, but no one thought twice about those two guys because they basically blended in with everyone else.”

  “And no one reacted initially because they were shocked the fuck out. Naturally, no one witnessed a damn thing except...” Russ scrubs his hands over his face and then leans forward, placing them palm down on the thighs. “Natalie watched the whole exchange and gave her testimony that night. She was a good cop’s wife.”

  “She knew what he was?” I ask incredulously, clearly shocked that Natalie hadn’t spilled Wise’s real job to me. I just can’t believe she didn’t spill it all the day we were out shopping, when she told me about his previous plans of becoming a cop. She really was a good cop’s wife for withholding all of that information.

  “Yeah, he was undercover for a long time. What we thought was an investigation for only a year was even longer for him.” Russ eyes flick up at me, sadder now thinking about his friend who lost his life because of this damn case and the fucker in the room down the hall. “He was working for the Marshall’s Office.”

  “So is any good going to come from his death? What do they have? Can Decks provide information that will get Nelson locked up for the deaths too?”

  “I hope,” is all Russ says staring at the door again.

  “Okay,” I turn glancing at the door too.

  Two hours later Captain Reebals pushes open the door with a strange glint in his eyes before nodding once. It’s done. I let out a loud breath and stand. Russ and I follow him back into the small interrogation room where Decks sits slumped forward, elbows on his knees and head resting in his hand.

  “Angel,” he breathes sitting up straight and glancing at me with a weak smile that falls instantly when his eyes shift to the man standing behind me, “Rad?”

  “No Decks, my name is Sergeant Russ Daniels,” Russ corrects walking in behind me and shutting the door. The confused look on Decks face morphs to understanding and he nods before glancing over at me again.

  “What now?” Decks asks heaving a loud sigh.

  With my eyes downcast, I can feel the three men watch me as I prop on the wall across from Decks. Inhaling deeply, I cross my arms over my chest and pierce him with a serious stare. “Now?” Decks watches me closely for a moment then bobs his head slowly, wringing his hands together. “Decks, my name isn’t Angel Johnson.” I pause, letting that sink in before divulging the rest. His eyebrow pinch in, but his eyes stay latched onto mine. “I’m Detective Samantha Walker with the Atlanta Police Department Drug Task Force.”

  Decks continues to watch me his emotions staying solid, completely unmoved by my admission. I turn my head slightly gesturing toward Russ. “We really appreciate your cooperation and I promise that we’ll do everything we can to keep you safe until Nelson’s trial. I’m sure the captain told you that afterward you’ll be placed in witness protection where he won’t be able to reach you.” Emotionless, he bobs his head still staring a hole through me. “Good.”

  Seeing that Decks isn’t going to comment Captain Reebals says, “You can go.”

  “Wait,” Decks says holding a hand up as I move to leave. I glance down at him still sitting in the chair. “It was all just a job?”

  Stepping back slightly, I slide my hands into my front pockets and tilt my head to the side. “Decks, I know it may sound heartless, especially after…” I don’t finish my sentence. He knows that I’m referring to his declaration of love earlier, and I don’t want to embarrass him in front of the other men. I straighten my spine and answer his question honestly. “Yes, it was just a job. And really, thank you for cooperating. You’ll never know how much it means to me that you did this.” I flick my eyes down at the signed confession that Captain Reebals clutches in his hands.

  “Great,” Decks replies moving his gaze toward the file folder. He leans back in his chair, bringing a hand up to his chin and rubs it while watching me with a menacing glare. “How many fucking cops where in on this shit?” he growls. No one answers him and from the distant look in his eyes he isn’t really expecting a response.

  Russ holds the door open as I walk out of the room without another word between us. Captain Reebals follows us into the hallway and grabs my arm before I can turn down the corridor. He pulls me into a strong hug and pats my back before releasing me completely. “Great work, Sam. Go home.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Take some time off. I’d say you definitely earned it.” I bob my head and glance up at Russ who catches my questioning eyes.

  “Go soak in a hot bath. I’ll pick up Kris and bring her home.” He smiles, his eyes sparkling with renewed excitement. “We’ll meet you there in an hour.”

  “Sure, but I need a ride. I left the Jeep he bought me at his place since there was no way in hell I was going to keep it.”

  “I’ll get dispatch to send a uniform over.” Russ says clicking his Southern Linc and connecting instantly with the dispatch center. “Your ride will be here in ten minutes.”

  “Alright,” I stroll to the front door after saying goodbye to the guys. My eyes glaze over as I step outside and see the last of the sun’s rays darken from pink to black almost instantly. Finally, the squad car pulls up to the curb. After a quick hello between us, Officer Serrano and I are off heading toward my house.

  Other than the random and usual radio chatter the ride home is silent. We pull up to the double garage and I hop out, giving him a small wave before walking up to the front door. Once inside the house I walk casually through the entry way, glancing around the house and smiling at the comfort the familiarity brings. I’m home, I sigh happily before racing up the stairs to my room.

  Chapter Sixty-Six

  Wiping the fog off the bathroom mirror, I stare into dark gray eyes and all the memories from the past year play like a movie through my mind.

  Going in as Russ’ girlfriend

  Momma

  Decks, Wise, Shane

  Russ getting busted and leaving me alone

  Natalie, Dean and Princess Simone

  Moving in with Decks

  Mad Hatter

  Saving Chelsea

  Ryske

  Lourdes trying to kill me

  Retaliation from the Hijos and Wise dying because of Lourdes

  Decks giving up states evidence

  Baltimore… and fortune cookies

  Chesapeake Bay… and jazz music

  Seaside Island… and falling in love

  My Blues

  I lower my eyes and sigh out loud as I trail back into my bedroom. Glancing over at the clock I note that it’s been over an hour since I left Russ downtown. He and Kris should be home by now. I dress quickly before picking up my phone and sending him a text. Once downstairs I make my way into the kitchen in search of a warm drink. Reaching into the cabinet beside the refrigerator for a tumbler, I notice a stack of notes pinned to the cork-board hanging on the side. Reading the top one I notice my name. I unpin the stack and realize it’s a note from Kris written today.

  Hey Sam,

  I’m working overtime at the ER. If you come home tonight I’ll be there in the morning. Miss you like crazy!

  Loves ~ K

  Underneath it is another note written last Friday. I skim over the stack and realize that they are all notes written from Kris every Fri
day night since I left a year ago telling me where she is and when she’ll be home. Smiling, I drop into a chair at the kitchen table and read through each of them. Except for a couple of times when she was having dinner with or sleeping over at Tate’s, or spending a holiday with her parents, all of the messages are informing me of her being at work. She seriously works too damn much. Ugh! Thank goodness that will change when she gets engaged. There is no way in hell that Tate will let her work all of the time. Remembering that I planned on taking care of her parent’s mortgage before my accident I jog upstairs with her notes in hand and enter my bedroom in search of my phone. I grab up my cell and begin typing an email to my attorney while strolling into my office. A text message pops up flashing in the middle of my screen. My feet stall, irritation boiling in my blood as I read it and Kris’ notes flutter to the floor landing at my feet.

  DECKS: SORRY DET. CANT DO IT UR WAY. IM WITH BLUES

  A loud tone screeches for three seconds from my police radio indicating a high priority incident is about to be dispatched on the main channel. The obtrusive tone repeats and my heart flips knowing that a double tone means a call for S.W.A.T.

  …Dispatch to all units, be advised hostage situation in progress at 210 Main Ave. Suspect is a white male in his mid-thirties wearing purple thermal pants and red hooded sweatshirt. Witness states that subject cornered several patients, nurses and a doctor in the emergency room after producing a large knife demanding drugs. Hospital security is standing by at the entrance to the Canton Children’s ER.

  Oh god Kris!

  Disregarding Decks message, my fingers tremble while I tap out another text to Russ again after noticing that he never responded to mine from earlier. Taking several deep breaths I grab up my gun and badge before rushing down to my Camaro. I jam my foot on the gas pedal so hard that I probably busted through the floorboard, but I don’t give a damn. Snaking my way through the subdivision at accelerated speeds, I blast through the gate, thanking the sweet lord above that it is partially open. But really I was preparing to rip it down with the front end if it was closed. Trying to get my breathing and heartbeat under control, I hit the call button on my steering wheel and dial Russ’ cell. It goes straight to voice-mail and I scream a ton of curse words after canceling the call. The air inside the car becomes stagnant so I drop the windows before passing two cars in a stretch of highway that is marked with double-yellow lines and then gun the gas rolling the speedometer over one hundred miles per hour.