When The Right Door Opens

by Catherine Micqu

  “No. Please, stay. You need some time to heal and maybe some supervision because of your concussion.” Jamie's gaze shot up, a little too fast and he felt the throbbing pain in his head again.

  “I can't. I have a child to take care of and she needs to go to school. I can't.”

  “I understand, but you need to. You are no help to your child when you are sick. Maybe her mother-”

  “No. Lauren doesn't want her and it's none of your business anyway.” Before Jamie could say anything else, the doorbell rang and he followed Sebastian down the stairs. Jamie noticed for the first time how careful Sebastian took each step and that he limped.

  Kai had already opened the door and Lauren was already rambling away noisily. Agnes stood close to her and curiously looked into the house.

  “Agnes!” Jamie exclaimed under his breath and broke into a wide watery smile, when he saw his daughter. She pushed past her nagging mother and ran into her father's arms.

  “Daddy. What happened to your face? You didn't call. Lauren wanted to bring me to our apartment, but Marty refused to let her in. He gave us a few bags and boxes and said to never come back again, unless we bring the money you owe.” Jamie blinked hard at all the information his teenage daughter was giving him. When disaster strikes, it strikes bad.

  “Dad, are we really homeless now? Where are we supposed to go at this hour?” Agnes looked forlorn while she waited for her father to answer her questions. He always knew how to reassure her. But this time he stayed silent. His eyes betrayed him, and Agnes knew that nothing would be okay any time soon. Nothing would change. Her father would not change and he would not give up his job. Maybe it was not his choice, but maybe he also didn't try hard enough. She fought hard to keep her thoughts from spilling from her mouth and fighting with her dad in front of these people. She also had a hard time keeping her tears of relief and frustration at bay.

  “No, you aren't homeless, because, you are staying here, with me. I am Sebastian.” he extended his hand to Agnes and waited for her to take it. She didn't take it, instead she looked at him suspiciously and then at her father, who looked at Sebastian too, his face was full of awe, but he also looked like he didn't understand, what Sebastian was saying.

  “That's Kai over there with... Lauren? He is my twin brother, but we don't look a lot like each other.” Sebastian joked and pointed at Kai, who stood with Lauren watching the scene. In fact, the brothers had the same facial structures and the same build, but where Sebastian's hair was blonde, Kai's was brown and while Sebastian's eyes were brown, Kai's were blue. People often mistook them for one another.

  “Look, Jamie, I don't care what you do and who you are with, but I need to go and I won't take her for a while. I had enough of all of this. Get your life back together and then we will talk, until then... I am young, I have a right to live too.” Lauren said coldly.

  “Your bags are in the trunk. Get them out, or I'll take them with me. Either way, I'm leaving. Now!”

  Jamie felt the dizziness come back. Sebastian saw him sway and how his eyes lost focus. He moved behind Jamie, to hold him steady, careful not to let on that something wasn't entirely right with Jamie in front of his daughter and Lauren.

  “Kai, could you” Sebastian needn't say more and Kai went to get Jamie's bags and what was left of his material life.

  “How about a late night bowl of ice cream?” Sebastian suggested cheerfully and led the way to the kitchen. His cane was still resting under the coat rack, but this time, he took it for support. The day had been long, his leg and knee was hurting and he had to admit that he needed the cane. Defeated, he looked to the floor, careful not to face Jamie or Agnes. Very attractive, he thought sarcastically. I'm a cripple at thirty-three.

  Jamie sat down on one of the stools that stood around a counter in the kitchen. Although he was careful, he had to suppress a hiss at the pain he felt. Agnes yawned tiredly, but her eyes lit up, the moment a bowl with chocolate ice cream appeared in front of her. Ice cream was a luxury they didn't indulge in very often, so, when Agnes had it for once, one could see that she was still a child and far from the grown-up she pretended to be.

  “Thank you.” she said politely, before attacking the ice cream like she hadn't eaten all day. Jamie saw it and he had to ask “Didn't you eat tonight, honey?”

  Agnes shook her head no and continued shoveling bite after bite into her mouth. Jamie was raging inside. Hadn't he arranged dinner for Lauren and Agnes? He tried to remember, but most of his day was a blur. But the question remained: how could Lauren not feed their child? He wanted to say something, but Sebastian brushed his hand slightly to get his attention and shook his head. How does he know? With every other person, Jamie would have taken his hand away immediately, strangely Sebastian touching him casually like this didn't bother him at all, it was soothing.

  “Can I have yours too?” Agnes asked with a bright smile, pointing at her father's untouched bowl. She didn't even acknowledge the hands of both men resting on each other.

  “Yeah, yes. Of course.” Jamie answered and smiled faintly, pushing his ice cream over.

  “Thanks” the girl mumbled again, already diving into her treat.

  “Can I bring you anything else?” Sebastian asked softly and Jamie shook his head. He didn't feel like eating at all. He wanted a bed and a pillow and he wanted to sleep. “Listen, thank you for everything you are doing for me – us, but I can never repay you and we are going to dive your world into chaos.” Now it was the time to finally withdraw his hand. Only seconds later, he already regretted it and missed the tingly feeling against his skin. Sebastian's hands were large and soft, but still very manly.

  “Stop it, please. I need a bit of diversion and chaos in my life right now and it was my idea that you'd stay here. I am sure we can figure something out. I am not very complicated to live with and if we establish some ground rules in the morning, I think we can be perfectly fine. Don't worry. I am sure we can work it out. It's not the first time that I live with roommates.” Jamie nodded already sunken in his own thoughts again. He didn't even realize when Kai stood next to him and hugged his brother tightly. When Kai touched his shoulder, he jumped, startled, and blushed, embarrassed. Kai held out his hand to shake and Jamie took it.

  “Thank you Kai. I mean it. For everything you did and said.”

  “I told you already, not a problem at all.” He smiled again and waved at Agnes, before he left through the backdoor. Sebastian locked it immediately.

  Agnes yawned again and Jamie wanted to rush her to the bathroom to get ready for bed, but he had no idea where she was supposed to sleep or where he was supposed to sleep. Sebastian sensed his uncertainty and stood up, clearing the bowls into the dishwasher.

  “Kai put your bags upstairs in the guestroom. There is a second guestroom, but it's cramped with boxes. I'll clean it out later today, so that you – Agnes – can have your own room. Is that okay?”

  “That would be really nice. It's nice to let us stay, Mister...?”

  “Martin, but please call me Sebastian. It's less awkward that way.”

  “You really don't have to turn your life upside down for us...”

  “Yes, I already told your dad, that I want to... now, let me show you your room for the night. Is it okay for you to sleep in the same room? It's only for one night. If it isn't, one of you can have my bedroom and I'll take the couch.” Sebastian talked fast and his nervousness was clearly audible.

  Sebastian took his cane and walked in front of Agnes and Jamie up the stairs. It was arduous, but it was the only way his tired body was walking anywhere. He took his time to show Agnes exactly where to find everything and he didn't tire to reassure Jamie that he was welcome to be there and that they weren't a burden to him.

  Once Jamie and Agnes were settled, they cuddled close together under the covers. It was out of the question for Jamie and for Agnes too, to be separated again, if only for the night. Jamie needed his daughter close by and Agnes needed her father. She
didn't care how childish it would appear to their handsome host, she simply needed to feel her father by her side.

  Jamie was almost asleep, when Agnes spoke again “Dad? You still didn't tell me what happened to you and who is that Sebastian?” Jamie wanted to tell her to go to sleep and they would speak about it another time, but he knew he owed her the truth, at least bits of it.

  “I had an accident, that's why I didn't call and I couldn't take a cab, because my wallet and phone were lost. Sebastian and his brother helped me. Kai is a paramedic.”

  “Was it one of your clients?” she asked concerned, she wasn't dumb, she had seen the imprints on her father's jaw.

  “It doesn't matter what really happened. I am alright. We will be fine.”

  “I don't want you to go back to work and I don't want to spend any more time with Lauren.”

  “I know honey, I know.” Jamie shuffled closer to Agnes and kissed her hair.

  “I like Sebastian. How long can we stay here until we have to move again?” tears burned in Jamie's eyes. It was his fault his daughter lived like this and asked questions like a grown-up. He had robbed her of her childhood and it didn't matter that he hadn't done it on purpose, but Agnes simply knew things she shouldn't know and worry about.

  “I wished I could answer that, but I can't. We have to talk about it in the morning. With Sebastian.”

  “Does that mean I don't have to go to school in the morning?” she asked with the hopeful voice only a teenager can muster.

  “It's an exception because it is already 2 am. But yes, you can stay ho... with me the whole day.” Agnes was satisfied enough with that answer, turned to her side and stared into the darkness. Agnes was worried. For her father, for herself and for the future. There were many more questions on her mind, but she didn't dare asking them, partly out of fear of the answers and partly, because she knew that her father wouldn't answer them anyway. She started concentrating on her breathing, a technique they had learned in school and that was supposed to help with test anxiety, and sure enough, she soon breathed evenly and softly and fell asleep.

  For the first time that night, Jamie let himself think about what had happened and how it would affect his future. Jamie turned to his side and watched Agnes. He didn't want to lose her and he didn't want to hurt her. When Agnes had asked him not to go back to work, his heart had almost broken, but she was right. He was twenty-nine years old and the care giver of a child – a teenager and he needed to act like it. Jamie knew that the rape had only happened because of his job and somehow, it was okay, if only very embarrassing. It was terrible, yes, but he also knew that he had been playing with fire for a very long time and he was lucky that nothing had ever happened before. Jamie already felt much better and he had to thank Kai and his brother for that. He couldn't describe it really, but somehow, he felt safe with Sebastian. Still, Jamie's ever working brain came up with question after question. Why is Sebastian so kind and why is he offering me and Agnes a place to stay, even though he has no idea who we are? And what happened to his leg?

  Jamie drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours and finally got up at eight thirty. Agnes was still sleeping and Jamie decided to let her be. She had had a rough day and night too. Jamie took a moment to look at his little girl. She seemed to sleep so peacefully. Jamie was still amazed that some of his genes had helped to make such an amazing human being and he was the reason she was there and he was also a huge factor why she was the way she was. There was no doubt that he was very proud of his girl, the only thing that started to give him headaches was, that he knew soon the boys would be all over her. She would turn many heads.

  Jamie sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, before he turned and groggily went to the bathroom. Time to face reality again!

  ~~Chapter 4~~

  Jamie felt sore and his back hurt from the unusual feeling of sleeping on a comfortable mattress, but apart from that, he felt okay. His head didn't hurt and he didn't feel nauseous or dizzy, like he had expected to feel. One last look into the bathroom mirror confirmed what he had feared and known – although he felt way better, he looked worse than last night. He rubbed his eyes and yawning, he made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen. He was startled when he saw Sebastian sitting at a table, only clad in pajama bottoms. He was reading the newspaper and had a steaming hot beverage in front of him. His naked muscly back made Jamie look twice and gasp. Wow! The kitchen smelled deliciously of fresh coffee, but that wasn't the only reason why Jamie feared he might drool.

  “Hi.” Jamie said rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, once he had overcome the paralysis and was able move – and think again.

  Sebastian turned around and eyed Jamie up and down none too subtly, then he smiled in a friendly way. Jamie didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't a beautiful man, who was half naked and smiled at him, like he was happy to see him. He is in his own home. He can sit around whichever way he likes! It wasn't that it bothered him, it was more that his stomach felt like it was in knots and his whole body felt warm and – home.

  “I made coffee.” Sebastian said awkwardly when he looked away, folding the newspaper and putting it aside. Jamie poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the opposite side of the table. His hand grabbed at his mug, like it was his anchor he didn't know what else to do with them.

  “Is Agnes still asleep?” Sebastian asked, to find something to talk about.

  “Yes. I need to call her in sick.” Sebastian pointed to the phone hanging on the wall near the backdoor and Jamie wordlessly stood up and called the school to let them know that Agnes wouldn't come in. Again he was relieved that he knew every important phone number by heart. The phone call took only a few minutes and Jamie sat back down again. He took a sip of his coffee and was thinking about something to say.

  “So, um no work today?” he asked and Sebastian looked up. The tension in the kitchen was awkward.

  “No, um, no. I am in between jobs. So to speak.” Sebastian shrugged and waited for the inevitable question and sure enough, Jamie asked it: “What do you do?” Sebastian grinned faintly and told Jamie, that he was a writer.

  “A writer who is blessed with writer's block and isn't able to write anything a publisher wants to buy.” Sebastian was waiting for the usual tilt of the head followed by a pitying smile, but Jamie didn't smile and he didn't tilt his head.

  “Have you written anything I know?” he asked instead. Sebastian shook his head: “I don't think you've read my book.” He was not judging Jamie or his intellect, it was more, that he couldn't imagine anyone being interested in reading his book. It wasn't all that interesting anyway; had he included more personal details, it may have been a bestseller, but right now it was a non-seller.

  “Uh hum, because I am a dumb whore. I understand.” Jamie answered defensively and got up too quickly. His head spun, but he did his best to not let it on. He rinsed his cup in the sink and put it in the dishwasher. Jamie was almost at the door, before he turned and looked at Sebastian again. He too now stood near his chair, looking at his naked feet shyly.

  “Thank you for your hospitality, but we'll be out of your hair as soon as Agnes is up. You don't need someone like me in your life.”

  “That's not what I said. I wrote a memoir... about myself... and not everyone likes to read books about disillusioned former male dancers. Though technically, when I wrote the book I was still dancing, now – not so much. You didn't strike me as someone interested in the life of others anyway. I never said that you are dumb or anything. I have no idea who you are, why should I assume things? It doesn't make the book any better though.” Sebastian deflated and sat back down on his chair staring out of the window, his head supported by his hand.

  “I can't keep you here against your will and you already wanted to leave yesterday...” his voice sounded sad.

  “It's not that I am not grateful, because I am, I really am. Maybe I'm simply not used to people being nice to me. It's been really tough the
se last few years.” Jamie came back into the kitchen. He was momentarily undecided what to do and stood awkwardly near the table, looking down at Sebastian who was back at reading his paper. Sebastian nodded understandingly and wanted to say something, but his words were stuck in his throat when he looked up and right into Jamie's green eyes. His jaw was set and Jamie didn't want to look, but he couldn't keep his eyes from roaming the almost perfect man in front of him. Muscles everywhere. Not bulging, but perfectly defined and definitely there. It was obvious that this man exercised a lot.

  Jamie felt so many emotions at once. He wanted to hug and kiss this man and somewhere deep inside of him sprouted a desire that had been buried long ago, a desire to do more, but he also felt weird having these thoughts. Was he feeling this way only out of gratitude, or where genuine feelings finding a way into his rotten heart? Jamie sat back opposite of Sebastian. They didn't talk, but Sebastian pushed parts of his newspaper over to Jamie. He smiled and took it. Fight over! They read quietly for some time when Sebastian looked up.

  “I should give you a tour of the house, once Agnes is awake.” Sebastian mumbled and Jamie wasn't sure, if the words were addressed to him or not.

  Jamie took the time and looked at his surroundings. The kitchen was nice, spotless, but homey. You could see that someone lived and cooked here. Sebastian's cane was leaning against the counter farthest away from him, and again Jamie wondered why he needed it and what had happened to him. Disillusioned former male dancer! What is that supposed to mean? He pointed at the cane “Can I ask why you need the cane?” Jamie asked carefully. Sebastian's gaze traveled to the hated item: “Accident” was all he said through clenched teeth. Jamie waited for him to explain, but he didn't explain anything else, instead he smoothly changed the subject.

  “Do you want another cup of coffee?” Sebastian asked and Jamie nodded, letting go of the question, but it didn't do anything to ease his curiosity. Sebastian got off his chair and before he even stood on both feet lost his balance. Jamie was immediately at his side to steady him.