When The Right Door Opens

by Catherine Micqu

  “Could you move a bit, I need to use the bathroom.”

  “Did I say something wrong?” Jamie asked, when he let Sebastian sit up and climb out of their comfortable cocoon.

  “No. No, it's just my bladder needs some relieve.” Sebastian grabbed his discarded sweatpants and put them on.

  “I'll be right back.” he limped out of the bedroom and Jamie let himself fall back on the bed, covering his face with his arm.

  “That's truly not the most romantic first date.” Jamie muttered, when he realized that he and Sebastian had never been on a proper date in the months they knew each other and lived together. Not once, they had gone to the movies or had a nice dinner at a restaurant.

  “I'm going to make it up to him.” Jamie sighed and started to plan how and when he would surprise Sebastian with their first real date.

  In the bathroom, Sebastian washed his face with ice-cold water and glared at the reflection in the mirror. How naïve are you? You haven't even been on a date together and you are expecting him to propose? Lunatic. You haven't even told each other the L-word. And you swore to never marry again anyway. Sebastian thought, but then he wistfully whispered “But I'd marry Jamie right away.” Sebastian finished in the bathroom and strolled back to the bedroom.

  Jamie had put on boxers and was looking at the ceiling.

  “Hey, I need to tell you something too.” Sebastian announced with a sigh when he sat on the bed. Jamie sat up and waited. He had no idea what Sebastian would tell him, but he listened thoughtfully.

  “I've been offered a job. At the Angel's Hollow Academy of Dance and Expressive Arts. I'm not sure if I am ready to accept it and I still need to pen that book for the publisher.” Sebastian intently stared at his fingers in his lap.

  “Do you have an idea what you want to do about that job? I mean, I know that dancing is your life and your dream, it can't be easy to see others living that. On the other hand, you are a very respected and successful ballet dancer, you could share some of your knowledge. I don't even know if I am making sense.” Jamie shook his head and Sebastian looked at him weirdly.

  “That's exactly what I've been thinking. And the answer is: I don't know. I know that I am a really strict and demanding teacher, I don't know if they could keep up with it and my working rhythm. And I don't know if I wouldn't turn mean and ask for things they can't do. What if I demand too much and they hurt themselves?”

  “Aren't those questions for later? Isn't the foremost question right now if you can even imagine taking the job?” Jamie sat closer to Sebastian and pulled him down, so that his head was resting in his lap. Jamie knew that Sebastian liked this position and when he started running his finger through Sebastian's hair – just the same way he had done to him earlier, he felt some tension leave Sebastian's body.

  “I think it would be a challenge.” Sebastian murmured and closed his eyes. He enjoyed Jamie's touches and he was grateful that Jamie seemed to understand him without judging him.

  “Do you have a deadline? I mean, did they tell you when you need to accept or decline their offer?” Sebastian shook his head no.

  “I guess they are recruiting now, for the fall semesters.” Jamie continued to stroke Sebastian's hair quietly and occasionally, his fingers would caress Sebastian's face in a sensual manner.

  A knock at the door burst their peaceful bubble.

  “Hey, don't answer if you are naked or... you know...” Sebastian and Jamie could both hear Agnes giggling and they rolled their eyes at the door.

  “We're hungry and are about to order giant pizzas from Marco's. Do you want some?” Jamie couldn't help but tease Kai a bit. He faked a loud moan.

  “Oh yeah... Extra peperoni. Oh just like that... Yes...” Sebastian chocked on his laughter and he started barking loudly.

  “We're down in a minute.” he managed to say.

  “Um take your time guys, but you do know, that there's a child here.”

  Jamie laughed when he heard Agnes scold Kai, telling him that she wasn't a child and also enlightening him that Jamie was making fun of him.

  After getting dressed, Jamie kept Sebastian from leaving the bedroom just yet. He pulled him into a passionate kiss. “I love you.” he said against Sebastian's lips and silently opened the bedroom door to join Agnes and Kai downstairs.

  Sebastian was perplexed. Paralyzed. Had Jamie just said those three words for the first time to him? The butterflies in his stomach and the fast heartbeat told him yes. Sebastian raised his fingers to his lips, as if he could feel the words against them and started to laugh. I love you too. He whispered to no one in particular, before he took his cane and joined his family.

  ~~Chapter 12~~

  Jamie cuddled closer to Sebastian, seeking the comfort of the sleeping man's warm body. He tried to stir as little as possible, but couldn't sleep and was restless. Not so much his body, more his mind and his ever thinking brain.

  Most of his thoughts turned around today's event and the fears and hopes coming with it. Jamie had no idea how he would react upon seeing the grave of his mother and now he had dragged Sebastian into a new drama of his own. Although it was incredibly comforting for him to know that Sebastian was there and at his side, it also made him wonder if he was weak, which he knew he wasn't after all he had lived through. He had been through a lot, but he had never been defeated and never been broken. It made him a proud man.

  Agnes had reacted a little indifferently when Jamie asked her to join him at the grave, but she also said that she didn't want to go, since she hadn't known know her grand-mother. Jamie accepted, if only reluctantly, that Agnes didn't want to go to the cemetery, she had not known the woman and all she had heard was how she had never wanted to meet her. Jamie decided that he wouldn't insist and that, if she would ever change her mind, he'd be at her side. Maybe it was even better this way, since his own emotions would be unpredictable for himself too.

  Kai had suggested to take Agnes and Karen on a weekend trip instead to divert her, and also to leave Jamie and Sebastian alone for three days and two nights in a row. It would be their first time all alone and while Jamie dreaded the first part of the day, he already nervously anticipated the rest of the weekend. He had even booked a table at a nice restaurant. But it would be a long day until they would be there. And after dinner, his plans involved little to no clothes at all and a lot of naked flesh and raw desire.

  Jamie grinned at the deviation his thoughts had taken and started waking his boyfriend up in a very adult manner. Sebastian didn't protest, he only hummed and moaned until he was in total ecstasy and felt the subsequent post-orgasmic bliss. The roles were changed and it was Sebastian's turn to suck every bad thought out of Jamie.

  When they both were sweaty and sated, Sebastian grinned lazily. “Good morning.” he pulled Jamie closer and kissed him tenderly. Jamie kissed him back more insisting. It would be a good morning indeed.

  ****

  Down the hall, Agnes was excited to leave for the weekend. It was her first time to go on a trip and sharing that with Kai and Karen meant a lot to her. She would have loved it even more to share the experience with her father and Sebastian too, but she assumed that they would know exactly what to do with their alone time and she smirked while pushing some clothes into a bag. The sounds coming from their room down the hall were not subtle at all, but instead of blushing or being disgusted, she smiled knowingly, put her headphones on and turned the volume of her music up. She wasn't bothered hearing the men being intimate. She was happy that her father had finally someone in his life who he was sure about and crazy about and who he wasn't hiding.

  Agnes took out a pen and paper and lay down on her bed before taking a deep breath and starting to write her first love letter ever. It was for a young boy named Jordan and the day before, he had asked her if she wanted to date him.

  Agnes had almost imploded with emotions since she had had a crush on Jordan for the last six weeks at least. So many words came to her mind, but she had only managed
a shy blushing nod in acceptance. During their lunch break, they had walked to the cafeteria hand in hand for everyone to see. And everyone did see. Many eyes had stayed glued on them. And after lunch, Jordan had walked her to her classroom and in front of everybody, he had kissed her. Her first real kiss. She didn't know what to do with her hands, when he pulled her near and she was so nervous that he would pull away and laugh at her inexperience, but he didn't. He simply put a gentle peck on her lips, as if to make sure that their first kiss would stay there forever. Jordan Redmane. Her first kiss. Agnes needed to tell Jamie all about it, but it had to wait, either until that night, when she was sure, that he would call to say goodnight, or until when she got back from her trip. Life couldn't be much better. Everything was finally falling into place and on top of that, she had butterflies in her stomach and dared to hope that this was love. She squealed and signed her letter with a smiley and a heart, before she resumed packing her bag for the weekend.

  Only two hours later, her bag was in Kai's trunk and she was in her father's arms. She had trouble letting him go and nerves wanted to meddle, telling her that Kai and his mother were only strangers and that she'd better stay with her beloved father. Jamie reassured her that he trusted Kai and Karen and with all they had planned, she wouldn't even have the time to miss her old father. Jamie pulled her close and planted kiss upon kiss in her hair and whispered soft encouraging words that were only meant for her. She took in her father's lean and muscly frame and sucked in his scent, for good measure before leaving.

  “I smuggled something inside your bag. You'll know it when you see it.” Jamie winked and for the first time ever, Agnes realized how beautiful her father was. Maybe his handsomeness was increased through the love and serenity he was emanating himself, but it suited him and Agnes felt overwhelmed with love for her father. She had lots of his features, but her eyes were gray, just like Lauren's. Agnes envied her father's green eyes. His eyes were never cold, instead, they glinted mischievously and suddenly Agnes knew what her father had packed for her. She bet that it was one of his worn t-shirts.

  When she was little and he needed to go to work at night, she always kept one of his shirts close to her nose when she couldn't sleep. The comforting scent of her father gave her the security of the known, to calm down and find sleep. It gave her her daddy. If only artificially.

  “Thank you.” She kissed him and was almost in the car, when she ran back up the steps and fell around Jamie's neck.

  “I love you, dad.” she whispered to his ear and she felt his cheeks rise smilingly.

  “I love you more, princess.” She turned away and ran to the car, waving enthusiastically, when it drove away.

  Jamie was grateful for Sebastian, who was pulling him against his side and kissed his temple.

  “She will be okay. And you will be too.” Jamie nodded, brushing a tear away that was threateningly close to his eyelashes and on its way down his cheek. They stayed at the doorstep until the taillights of Kai's car where out of sight.

  ****

  Jamie stood at the entrance gate of the cemetery and watched many cars driving by. Not one of them slowed down and not one of them had his father as driver. Sebastian leaned against his car and was silently watching Jamie, who had started pacing the parking lot. Jamie looked almost like a model with his dark fitted suit and white shirt. His black hair was neatly put in place, but his green eyes were restless and busy. When he wasn't watching the cars, he was looking at his watch and shook his head desperately.

  “He's not going to come. I am a complete failure as a son.” Jamie started to work himself up and Sebastian finally intervened.

  “Stop it! You are not. You did and always do, what is best for yourself and your daughter. Yes, you took a rocky road, but you ran out of options and let's be honest, your daughter and you yourself, you are pretty fine right now. Just look at how well she turned out to be. That is all you’re doing and that – she is certainly no failure, far from it actually. The man I love – you – is no failure. Now brush those tears away and square your shoulders, so that we can do what we came here to do.” Sebastian said gently, while touching his forehead to Jamie's. Jamie nodded hesitantly, but let his hand slip into Sebastian's before stealing a gentle but strengthening and lingering kiss.

  “He is right, son. I failed you as a father, not the other way around. I should have been there for you and supported you, instead, I was too stubborn and proud to seek contact and be the father you needed and deserved. I am so sorry. If only I had known...”

  Brady McCarrick cast his eyes on the ground and started to walk ahead to the grave of his late wife, with Jamie and Sebastian following him wordlessly. Jamie was speechless and didn't know what to say or do. It was all too emotional, to process it right away.

  Like on autopilot, Jamie watched the headstones and the colorful flowers decorating them, until finally, his father stopped.

  Sebastian squeezed Jamie's hand encouragingly and he took a deep breath, before turning to see where his mother would spend her eternity.

  Jamie looked at a simple black headstone, with a white dove engraved above his mother's name and her dates of birth and death. It was a headstone like so many others, but it was different too. This was his mother's grave, not a faceless stranger's. Jamie fought the urge to break into tears, but upon seeing his mother's headstone, he became aware of the reality of the situation and of its irreversibility.

  Sebastian stood very close to Jamie. He could feel his lover's body heat radiating through the suit, but his hands were cold and clammy. On the other side, Brady moved closer to Jamie too and put an arm around his son's shoulder.

  “I love you, son.” Brady said with tears in his eyes and turned Jamie in his arms. Jamie found himself hugged by his father and it was so much warmer and so much more honest, than the one time when they had met again, weeks ago. Sebastian let go of Jamie's hand, took a respectful step back and watched the men, while finding it hard to swallow past the big lump that had formed in his throat. This time, these men stood a chance for a real reconciliation, Sebastian was sure of it.

  ****

  Jamie felt relaxed and smiled at Sebastian when they were back in the car. A weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and it felt good.

  “Thank you so much, for keeping up with me. It means a lot to me.” Instead of answering, Sebastian pulled Jamie closer and kissed him gently on the lips. “I love you.” he said, looking deep into Jamie's eyes.

  From the cemetery, they drove straight across the town, to have dinner.

  They stepped into a fancy restaurant and a waiter dressed in black guided them to a table close to a large window, overlooking the garden and a lovely pond with white swans. The sun was setting and the men watched the orange orb vanishing behind a line of green trees. Flickering candle light illuminated the whole restaurant. The setting was romantic through and through.

  Jamie looked at Sebastian, asking himself how and why he had deserved a man like him. Not only did he look like a model in his suit, he was also funny and witty, intelligent and creative, passionate and patient and above all, he genuinely loved him and wasn't afraid to show it, even in public. Sebastian's hand slipped over Jamie's as if on cue and they began talking about their pasts and their futures, about dreams and hopes, fears and worries. In between gentle banter and deep discussions, they shared a delicious meal and drank too much wine.

  The mood shifted from casual to sensual.

  Their looks became more desiring and their body language became more straightforward, until they both decided that it was time to skip dinner and go home. Sebastian licked his lips seductively, a mannerism Jamie still couldn't place as deliberate or tick. He only knew that it always went straight to his groin and that he needed to get this man home as soon as possible and feel him inside of himself. Jamie was sure that a night to remember lay ahead of them.

  ****

  Jamie and Sebastian couldn't get out of the car fast enough. They kissed passionately a
gainst their front door, with Sebastian pinning Jamie against it. When they finally managed to stumble into the house, they continued kissing passionately and bumping into furniture, knocking down a vase. There was no time to be wasted and they were both grateful for the empty house. No restrictions required. They could christen every room in the house, if they desired to do so. Jamie and Sebastian giggled, drunk on lust and wine, and wrestled out of their jackets, before joining their lips again for more sensual kisses.

  Suddenly, the light came on and both men stared into the same face, like deer in a headlight. They froze with their hands on the belt of the other and both were horrified to see the man in front of them, but for entirely different reasons.

  “Rudy?” Sebastian asked, knowing full well, that the man in front of him was his ex-husband. And while he was still racking his brain on how Rudy had managed to enter his home, when Sebastian had changed every lock in the house to keep this from happening, he heard Jamie's confused voice.

  “You?” asked Jamie, recognizing the john that had raped him months ago. The one who had indirectly driven him into Sebastian's arms. The one who had changed his life for the better.

  ~~Chapter 13~~

  Rudy had been watching the men since their car drove up the driveway. He saw Sebastian getting out of the car with ease, and it filled him with happiness to see his ex-husband being better, but he also saw the splint he was still wearing over his clothes and the cane he needed for support. Sebastian and his guest were laughing and couldn't keep their hands and mouths off each other. How could Sebastian ignore which day it was? It was the anniversary of their first date and Rudy had wanted to spend it with him. Furious and jealous, he stood in the living room, with a poker in his hand. He needed to get rid of the competition and then, Sebastian would be his again. Rudy couldn't believe that he had been replaced. And then he saw the face of Sebastian's new man. At first, Rudy didn't know where he had seen that face before, but then it came back. “Son of a bitch.” he growled and grabbed the poker tighter. His knuckles whitened and his mouth was nothing more than a thin line. He was determined to get rid of that man, now even more than before he had seen the whore's face. It hurt, that Sebastian had ignored his calls and had changed the locks, but Rudy always found a way back into his husband's life. Always. And the other man needed to go. Now.