Rudy saw the men kissing, when they stumbled into the house. The moans Sebastian made were not foreign to his ears. Once there had been a time when those moans were for him. Only for him. Now they were for a street whore. Rudy decided that he had seen enough and switched the light on.
The terrified look on both men's faces was almost comical to Rudy, and he grinned maniacally. His gaze followed Sebastian's hands and when Rudy saw where they were, hate overpowered him. Full of rage and hate, he approached the couple. They had the audacity to still touch each other. In his presence. No man, apart from himself, had the right to touch Sebastian. His Sebastian. He lounged forward and with a threatening growl, he punched Jamie in the face, so that he fell backwards to the floor. Sebastian seemed to want to go after Jamie, but Rudy was determined to keep him from doing so. With the poker still in hand, he took wide swings at Sebastian's leg, the one that was still in a splint. He needed to hinder Sebastian from running away or fighting him.
One. Two. Three. Violent beatings.
Sebastian's painful screams were almost deafening and Rudy finally stepped away. He saw Sebastian's face distorted with pain and started to panic, when he saw and realized, what he had done. The leg looked bad and even through the pants, Rudy could see bones sticking through the flesh. Sebastian held his leg with both hands and yelled in pain. Rudy had never wanted this. He had never wanted to hurt his love. He only wanted to keep him away from that other dirty scumbag.
Rudy turned around, just a second to gather his thoughts, but Sebastian's wailing distracted him too much and when he turned around again to face his ex-husband, Jamie was crouching over him. Jamie was trying to calm Sebastian down and had his phone in one hand and the other had was touching Sebastian's cheek, locking their eyes. Rudy saw it and didn't like it at all. Without thinking, he took the poker again and without any emotions showing, he stabbed Jamie in the back. A round stain of red blood immediately formed on the white shirt when he pulled it out of the wound again.
Jamie was silent. He had not made a sound. Not of surprise. Not of pain. Sebastian's brown eyes were open wide and looked at Rudy in disgusted shock. Jamie sank down to the floor. The phone forgotten. His hand touching his back disbelievingly. Sebastian cried and said Jamie's name over and over again, while Jamie, with his head in Sebastian's lap, still tried to calm him down.
“Shh. It's okay. We are going to be alright. It's only a scratch. Only a scratch.” Jamie closed his eyes briefly and focused on Sebastian. Quelling the pain.
Rudy started to panic furthermore.
“I... Sebbi... I didn't want to hurt you.” Rudy stammered and ran his hands through his hair. On sudden instinct, he heaved Jamie onto a chair and tied him to it with duct tape that lay conveniently on the coffee table.
Jamie was pale and silent, but conscious, while Sebastian was pale too, but he spoke incessantly. His words were only interrupted with screams pf pain.
“Why, Rudy why? We could have talked.”
“Shut up!” Rudy slapped Sebastian in the face. He had heard enough. “You don't want to talk to me. You ignored my calls and on our wedding anniversary, you sent me away. I bet you even forgot which day it is today. I have feelings too. If I had known that this little dirty whore is yours, I would have made sure that he died on that street.”
“What? You... that was you? Jamie? That was him?” Jamie nodded faintly and Sebastian noticed that he started to sweat and to shiver.
“You raped Jamie?” Sebastian asked again, still not believing his ears.
“It's not like it was planned. I drove home from you and there he stood. It was like an invitation and I took him up on it. But he was too teasing, too slow. I wanted fast sex. The rest, I swear, the rest was an accident. I shoved him, he fell and blacked out. I didn't know what to do, so I pushed him out of the car on my way home. I could not have known that he knows his way around here. Do you even know that he is a slut?”
“He isn't. Not anymore.”
“What? Do you seriously think you saved him?” Rudy snarled and fished for a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. “I have to take a leak. Stay there, honey. Or else you will regret it.”
****
“Jamie. Jamie! Talk to me. I love you, please. Talk to me! I need to hear your voice. Look at me. Jamie, look at me!” Sebastian pleaded. Jamie started to cough and blood spilt from his mouth. Sebastian looked around himself. He was in so much pain, but he needed to help Jamie. Save them both. Rudy was acting too wayward to trust that his good judgment would come back anytime soon. Sebastian clenched his teeth and then he saw it. Their only way of rescue. Jamie's phone. Sebastian reached out for it, forcing his body to obey him despite the pain. He listened for Rudy, but he didn't hear him. He dialed 911 and without introduction he pleaded for help. He quickly managed to say the address, before he heard the toilette flush and disconnected the call. It was their only chance. Their only hope.
Jamie stared at Sebastian. He wanted to say so many things, but he couldn't. Every time, he started to say something, he ended coughing. He tasted the blood in his mouth and suddenly, he became very calm, almost serene. He held Sebastian's eyes and tried telling him everything he wouldn't be able to tell him anymore. Sebastian's eyes were full of tears and his leg looked really bad, even though the fabric of his slacks, it looked distorted. Jamie would have given everything to hold Sebastian in his arms, to soothe him and be at his side, but he couldn't. He was too weak to fight and he felt tired. His shirt pasted against his skin on his back and he felt his own trousers and even underwear soaked too.
The physical pain was bearable, but admitting that he couldn't help Sebastian was torture.
Rudy entered the living-room and saw the obvious connection between Sebastian and Jamie. Jealously, he grabbed the poker again and stepped in front of Jamie, bending down to his height. With his free hand, he grabbed Jamie's hair, to make him look up and have his undivided attention.
“How dare you steal my man away from me? You are nothing. No one is going to miss you, you filthy scum.” Rudy spat into Jamie's face and took a step back. He aimed meticulously with his poker and finally, calmly pierced Jamie's chest. Pleased with the new bloody stain that soaked the white material of Jamie's shirt, he pulled out and let the poker fall from his hand. With a deafening sound, it landed on the hardwood floor. Sebastian screamed again, in pain and frustration.
“Jamie, look at me.” Sebastian ordered panicked, and this time, Jamie looked at him. Straight in the eyes. He struggled to take a breath. “I love you.” he gasped and then he simply collapsed in the chair. His body was limp and there was no movement anymore. For a moment all was eerily silent. Sebastian, and Rudy too, they both stared at Jamie's lifeless body.
“Jamie... Jamie! Jamie! No. No.” Sebastian cried again. He didn't care about the snot and the tears running down his face and he didn't care about the pain in his leg. It was nothing compared to the pain inside his heart, seeing Jamie helpless and at the mercy from the monster he once had loved. All that mattered at that moment, was to somehow get to Jamie. Save him. Sebastian tried to crawl towards his boyfriend. Rudy seemed to like seeing Sebastian hurt and terrified. It gave him some kind of strange satisfaction, to know that he did this.
Sebastian was almost there, only a few inches separated him from Jamie. Rudy laughed cruelly and stepped in front of Sebastian. He helped his ex-husband to his feet, ignoring the smashed leg and protesting words. He leaned in to Sebastian to kiss him. Now that Jamie was out of the picture, Sebastian was his again, Rudy's twisted mind tried to convince him.
Sebastian felt the bile in his throat when he realized what Rudy was about to do, and without being able to prevent it, he threw up all over Rudy.
Rudy cursed and shoved him away brutally and then everything happened too fast. Sebastian was back on the floor, this time, very close to Jamie. He touched Jamie's leg and rubbed up and down, but Jamie wasn't reacting.
Wailing sirens could be heard all of a sudden and red and blue lig
hts shone into the living-room. Rudy wanted to leave in a haste, but while he was deciding which way to run, the front door was already cracked open and countless men entered the place. Rudy tried to fight two armed police officers at once, but they overpowered him and put the struggling man in handcuffs, before making room for the team of paramedics to look at the victims.
Sebastian was carefully pulled away from Jamie and people hovered over him and his leg. He wanted to be left alone and be with Jamie. He didn't let him out of sight.
“Calm down, sir. We need you to calm down and take a look at your leg.” Sebastian didn't let anyone touch him. He fought everyone away, until he had a clear view of Jamie and then he saw it. The moment that would break him.
Two men with white gloves were next to Jamie. One of them stood only looking down, the other one crouched next to Jamie and held his fingers to Jamie's carotid and then he looked up at his partner again. Everything blurred around him and Sebastian swore that he saw it in slow-motion. The man shook his head 'no' and looked back down to the floor, sad and resigned, while he stripped off his gloves and frustrated, he threw them away.
Sebastian fell apart. He started screaming Jamie's name, but Jamie didn't move. He didn't look up. A hand on his shoulder squeezed tightly and Sebastian looked up.
“He is gone. I'm sorry. It's too late.” the voice said, but Sebastian didn't understand the words. He shook the hand away and started to kick his legs at everyone around.
“You're wrong. You are wrong. He isn't dead. Check again. Jamie? Jamie wake up, honey.” But Jamie didn't wake up.
“Agnes! Think about Agnes. Your daughter needs you. I need you. Jamie, please.” But no pleading and begging made Jamie look up. He was pale and limp, still tied to the chair. His shirt was soaked with blood and his head hang low. His hair hiding his face from Sebastian's view. “But I love you.” Sebastian whispered desperately.
Sebastian felt something prick at his arm and he began calming down. He was suddenly tired, too tired to talk. Too tired to think. Too tired to fight.
“Okay, let's go. The leg looks really bad.” he heard voices through the fog and distantly noticed that he was put on a gurney and moved into an ambulance.
****
Sebastian woke up, feeling weird and hollow. Like something was missing. He was sad, but didn't know why and he felt sore, but couldn't remember why either. The moment, he opened his eyes Karen hovered over him with red-rimmed eyes. Her hair was unkempt and as far as Sebastian could see, she wore a jogging. Karen never wears a jogging. Sebastian thought to himself.
“Honey, how are you feeling?” Sebastian didn't have time to answer the question, because a nurse came in noisily and pushed Karen aside. She took Sebastian's vital signs and smiled at him sadly.
“What happened?” Sebastian asked hoarsely and looked at his mother for some explanations.
“Where's Jam...” The name got stuck in his throat and he saw the tears in his mother's eyes. She shook her head, not daring to look at her son.
And suddenly he remembered. Jamie was gone. Dead. Sebastian nodded to show, that he understood and broke down in tears. His gaze traveled down his leg. Memories of that returning too. It hurt. It hurt a lot, but it wasn't there anymore. They had had to take it off just above the knee. Rudy had damaged too many crucial vessels and a big part of the muscle too. Rudy had ruined his life, cruelly and willingly.
But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Without Jamie at his side, nothing held any importance anymore. Sebastian closed his eyes and tried to zone out. He heard voices, but didn't understand the words. And he didn't care. He saw faces, but none of them mattered. None of them belonged to Jamie.
Only one single visitor almost got him out of his stupor. Agnes. She came to visit Sebastian. At her side was a young boy, not much older than she was and Kai.
Agnes approached Sebastian with a look of pure hate and every hope to keep something of Jamie in his life, died that instant.
“It's your fault! You should have saved him.” And then, she slapped him in the face and pounded his chest with her fists, while she cried desperate tears of loss. Sebastian didn't move. He let her. She was right.
After that, everything changed and nothing would ever be the same again. With Jamie gone, the door to Sebastian's heart was closed shut and it would not easily be opened again.
~~Chapter 14~~
Internal landscapes
Sebastian's POV
Here I am, lying on my bed. Our bed. I'm wearing his t-shirt and keep my nose buried in his pillow. His scent lingers there and if I could preserve it, I would. He's not here anymore and no matter how long I'll wait, he will never come back to me. Knocks at the door, ringing phones – it's never him. It hurts. It hurts so much inside and I wish I could be with him again. I am to blame this time. It was my ex-husband who did this out of jealousy. How could I have ever loved such a monster? I hope he rots in hell. I hate him. As much as I love Jamie, as much do I hate Rudy.
I can remember the exact moment life left Jamie's body. His eyes were full of tears, and he looked at me and then I saw his gaze go blank. His green eyes became unfocused. I think he knew that his injury was lethal, because he was so calm. Not struggling against the restraints of the duct tape, keeping him bound to that chair. And Rudy just sneered when he saw how Jamie simply collapsed. The blood. I remember the blood too. I still can't believe it was his own blood. It was on my hands too. His white elegant shirt and the stain that grew larger and larger.
I can never kiss him again, feel his lips or the warmth of his body. I loved him and now he is gone. I want to be with him, leave this dreadful place, only to be with him again. Why? I don't understand, why. I couldn't even fight for him. That damned leg. Rudy knew exactly how to hit me to immobilize me.
It's gone now too. My leg. They took it off just above the knee. There was nothing they could have done to save it. It doesn't hurt as much as the loss of Jamie. I would give my other leg too, if I only could have him back.
Why? Why him? I love him so much...
Agnes's POV
I am an orphan. My father is gone. My mother doesn't want me and the only family left is a stranger. Brady. How can I live without my dad? How? It's Sebastian's fault. He let that maniac into his house and he was too weak to fight for my dad.
He must have been in so much pain. I didn't even have a chance to say good-bye to him. I can't live like this. What is going to happen to me? Who will love me, if not my daddy? I can't... I feel like suffocating and at the same time, I want to yell and scream at everyone.
I slapped Sebastian, when I saw him at the hospital. Multiple times. I know he loved my dad and I know he is hurting too. He locked himself inside his room. Kai said that he lies curled in a ball, hugging a pillow. I assume it's my dad’s. I'm wearing his shirt too. I can't believe we said good bye like this. But he said that he loved me and I told him that I love him. That helps. To know and that to know that he knew too.
For Sebastian, it doesn't help that his leg was so damaged that they needed to take it off. Maybe it's karma. Because of him, my dad was stabbed to death and now he will never be the same again either.
I don't mean it like that.
I like Sebastian. He saved us. He opened that door and let my dad in, with all his baggage and me and never once did he ask questions, he simply loved my dad and me.
I am so glad that I have Jordan and Kai and Karen. They talk to me, a lot. We went for a walk today and the sun warmed my face. It was almost as if he was there too. Kai and Karen insist that I go to school and eat properly, and Jordan, he is the best boyfriend. He helps me at school and interrupts me when I am zoning out in class. And he lets me cry or talk about my dad.
Kai is sad too.
Sebastian doesn't talk. Not a word since that day at the hospital. The only sounds he makes are when he cries and sometimes at night, I wake up because he screams. He must have nightmares. I don't know.
I don't hate him. I know that. But he can't
undo that my dad died when he was alone with him. I can't understand how this could happen.
I cry a lot, but Kai is there to console me. He doesn't ask questions, he simply is there. I overheard him talking to Brady the other day. I think, Kai will apply to get custody over me. I don't want to go to Brady. He is a stranger and I don't like him. I want my dad. He would know exactly what to do. He would hug me and kiss my hair. He would whisper words I wouldn't understand or sing a song just for me to hear and it would all be good again. I can't understand why he had to die. Why? Why him? I love him so much...
Rudy's POV
I'm sitting in this shabby cell because I killed that cunt. He was a hooker. Dumb bitch. Trying to steal my husband away from me. My Sebastian. Yeah, yeah. I know. Technically he is only my ex-husband, but if that bitch had not interfered, Sebbi would be mine again. That's what he gets, when he ignores my calls. I show up at his door. And when he is not home, I simply go in. I don't care about changed locks, I can work around that. I have my tricks. It used to be my house too, it's my right to enter.
They kissed in front of me, in their fancy suits and I couldn't stop myself. I smashed Seb's knee with the poker first. He is going to be dependent on me for the rest of his life. He has to love me. He screamed in pain. I guess that's why the police came. That idiot cowered over Seb and I stabbed him. First in the back, but what was I to do? He touched my man. I tied him to the chair. When he looked at my Seb for too long and spoke to him, I stabbed him again. Seb is mine. I don't understand how he can love an ordinary street whore and not me. Why? Why him? I love him so much...
When The Right Door Opens Page 14