Blurred Expectations

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  She could do that.

  Maybe.

  “I made dinner,” Josh whispered after they stood there for who knows how long.

  “Okay,” she said, not that hungry. But she had to eat to stay healthy and to act normal. At least acting it would hide the pain for a little longer.

  They ate in a sad silence, the loss of something they hadn’t had filling the air. They left the dishes in the sink, went to the bedroom, and stripped down. Without words, they got into bed and held each other.

  Hannah lay between both of her men, their mating bond flaring in pain and solidarity.

  It would be okay. They had more important things to worry about in their war with the Centrals. Everything would move on, grow. They would live. They had to.

  Chapter 2

  Reed Jamenson added a touch of green to his palette and blended the colors together. With a few more brush strokes, he added leaves to the background of their house. Well, the painting of their home, at least. Hannah wanted a framed painting of their home to be placed on their mantel. Why, he had no idea, but he’d do whatever he could to make his mate happy.

  He set down his brush and closed his eyes. God, he missed the happiness in her eyes and the brightness of her smile. Though she tried to hide it, he knew she was breaking inside. He and Josh were right along with her. He hated the fact that he couldn’t get his mate pregnant. Kade, Jasper, and Adam had given their mates babies so quickly, some without a second thought. Yet, he and Josh couldn’t do it.

  He cleaned his brushes then closed the door to his studio, not wanting to paint. Odd for him since it was his passion. Lately though, he couldn’t come up with a desire to do it. He could only try to hold onto the threads that were keeping their mating together. No, he didn’t think Hannah would leave them, but he was failing her. He couldn’t give her the option to leave. No, she had to feel needed. She was needed.

  “Reed?” Josh called as he stepped through the front door.

  “Hey,” Reed called back as he took out two beers from the fridge. He used the opener to take off both the tops and walked out to see Josh standing in the middle of the living room, his hands on his hips.

  Reed stopped and raked his gaze over Josh's muscular body. Josh was wider and taller than he was, but it was all muscle. Sexy, firm muscle. Josh's brown hair was a bit longer than it had been when they'd met. The man had finally lost the need to look pure military and had let it grow out. The spiraled tattoos that marred his arms were a symbol of what he'd become. His mate was now part demon because Caym had bitten him, but he was stronger than any of them had known, physically and deep within.

  “What's wrong, Reed? Not that I don't like you checking me out, but you look like you’re depressed. It’s the middle of the day, and you’re not in your studio. What's going on?”

  Reed handed him the beer and wrapped an arm around Josh’s waist. Josh brought him in for a hug and kissed him softly on the mouth. Reed had always been bisexual, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined himself in a mating with two people. He loved it.

  Josh pulled back, and Reed took a swig of his beer, the cold brew sliding down his throat. Reed tugged on Josh's hands, and they went to the couch and sank into the cushions.

  “I'm just out of sorts. I feel like we’re losing Hannah by not being enough for her,” Reed said as he laid his head on Josh's shoulder.

  Josh rested his head on the back of the couch and wrapped his arm around Reed. “We haven’t been trying that long; it'll happen for us.”

  “But, we already lost the baby before,” he whispered, his voice cracking, along with his heart.

  Josh kissed Reed’s forehead then snuggled closer. “I know, my wolf. I don’t know what to say other than we'll be okay. We just need to focus on other things.”

  “I don't think Hannah is going to want to hear that.”

  “I don't think she has a choice, Reed. No matter what happens, we have a bond that's going to last longer than anything else we go through. We’re strong; we have to be. We've had to be. I know she's hurting, but we’re all hurting. We’re going to have think of the good things that we can have. When was the last time you heard her giggle?”

  Reed drank the last of his beer, trying to think of her laugh, then shook his head. “I don't remember. That's the problem.”

  “Okay, let's make her smile.”

  “And how do you plan on doing that?”

  “Well…”

  Reed threw his head back and laughed, a warmth slicing through the cold that had lodged itself in his heart. “Of course that's what you would be thinking.”

  “I’m with Josh on this one,” his wolf said.

  Reed laughed with his wolf and rolled his eyes. “I like that idea, so does my wolf, but we’re also going to have to show her that we’ll be okay without having sex every minute of every hour.”

  “That does sound like a fun thing to do.”

  Josh grinned and Reed rolled his eyes.

  “True, but it's not the only thing. With this war with the Centrals, we’ve been so focused on protecting the ones we love that we haven't been cherishing her. Plus the fact that we’re trying to have a baby at the same time makes it feel as if we’re scheduling our love. Sex is going to become a chore if we don't make a plan to stop that.”

  Josh ran a hand over his face then scratched the scar on his neck that still gave Reed nightmares. “I wouldn't have thought that sex could be a chore, but with the emotions running through us every time we try, it hurts. I just don't want to fail her again, Reed. Do you think it's because of the demon? I mean, the reason we can’t have a baby.” Josh turned to Reed, and Reed saw his lover’s eyes filling.

  “No, I don’t. I mean Caym and Bay have both had children. So I don't think it's the demon blood running through your veins.”

  Josh leaned forward and kissed Reed softly. “And it's not because you don't think you’re alpha enough?”

  Reed jerked, surprised. “How the hell did you know I was thinking that?”

  Josh traced a finger down Reed's jaw, sending shivers through both of them. “Because I know you. I know you think you aren’t as tough stuff as your brothers, but you're wrong. You just don't have the same temperament they do. Not everyone can have children right away, some not even at all, but no matter what, we need to stick together. We need to get Hannah to smile again.”

  “Yes, we do. Though I have no idea how we’re going to do that.”

  “Just be yourself. I mean, you make me smile,” Josh said then ducked his head and blushed.

  “Aww, I love it when you're all cute like that.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  Josh had never kissed a man before meeting Reed, and Reed knew that Josh was still uncomfortable at showing some of his feelings.

  “Luckily, you’re good in the sack, or I would take offense at that attitude.”

  “Good?” Josh growled. “Good is all you can come up with?”

  He gripped the back of Reed's head and pulled him close for a bruising kiss. Teeth clashed, tongues melted, and Reed moaned. Josh ran his hand down Reed's chest, and Reed moved toward him. Reed bit Josh's lip and sucked on the wound.

  “I love you,” Josh whispered into his mouth then cupped Reed’s jean-clad cock.

  “Fuck. I love you, too.”

  Reed positioned himself so he was leaning back, and Josh covered Reed's body, rubbing their cocks together as he did it.

  “What time does Hannah come home?” Josh asked as he ran his hands underneath Reed’s shirt. The touch of those calloused fingers against his skin sent shivers through his body.

  “She said she'd be at North’s for another hour or so.”

  “That means I get you all to myself on our favorite couch?” Josh lifted Reed up slightly so he could take off his shirt while Reed did the same to Josh.

  With a moan, Josh kissed a trail down Reed’s throat and chest, paying extra attention to his nipples.

  “God, I take it back. You’r
e better than good,” Reed rasped out as Josh licked the happy trail that ran beneath the edge of his jeans.

  “Well, I better make sure you know that. Just in case.” Josh nipped the skin right where Reed’s jeans met his body, and Reed groaned.

  Fuck, he loved this man.

  His wolf growled softly, nudging its head along Reed’s skin, wanting, needing.

  Apparently, the wolf loved this man, too.

  Good.

  The sound of Josh sliding down Reed’s zipper echoed in the living room, and Reed winced.

  “Fuck, be careful of my dick.”

  Josh gave a rusty laugh and slowly slid Reed’s pants down so they rested right below his ass. He took Reed’s cock and squeezed it tightly, causing Reed to close his eyes.

  “I’m always careful of your dick, wolf boy. But next time you might want to wear fucking boxers or something because I’m pretty sure I can see teeth marks on your cock.”

  “That’s because I’m always hard around you and Hannah. I’d rather see your teeth marks,” Reed teased.

  “Smooth, and that can be arranged.” Josh lowered his body and licked the seam at the head of Reed’s cock. Reed could feel the tip of his lover’s tongue teasing, playing.

  “Damn, you’re good at that.”

  Josh let go of Reed’s cock and smiled. “I had a good teacher.”

  Then Josh sucked Reed whole, the head of his cock touching the back of Josh’s throat. Reed buckled and tangled his fingers in Josh’s hair. The other man groaned when Reed pulled slightly and sucked harder.

  It was the middle of the afternoon, and his mate and lover was sucking him off in the living room. Damn, he had a good life.

  Josh licked, sucked, and squeezed until the warm sensation in the center of Reed’s stomach wrapped around his back and climbed down his spine, and he came. He thrust in and out of Josh’s mouth as Josh licked every ounce of his seed.

  “You still taste as good as anything I’ve had, baby,” Josh said as he smiled like a cat with a bowlful of cream.

  “Okay, fine, you’re fantastic. Good isn’t even close for you; you’re fucking amazing.”

  Josh leaned over and kissed him. “Damn straight.”

  Reed ran a hand against Josh’s straining erection and grinned. “Can I help with that?”

  Josh smiled and shook his head. “Hannah will be home soon. Let’s make her help.”

  Reed groaned and kissed his mate. “And make her smile?”

  “And make her believe we can do anything.”

  ****

  Josh Jamenson groaned and shifted his cock in his jeans, closing his eyes. Fuck, he should have let Reed touch him so he could have come, but he’d wanted Hannah to be there. Damn him and his weakness for that curly-haired woman. Now, because he wanted it to be the three of them, his balls were fucking blue, and his cock was about to peak over his waistband.

  All he needed was to grind against Reed’s sweet ass for a second or two and he’d come on the spot. But then the sweet agony of waiting for his little witch might be worth it. Okay, fine, it was always worth it, but that was beside the point. He wanted her to be there, naked, ready, his. Yeah, he’d wait for her. He wanted to. He had to.

  The front door opened, and their mating bond flared, full of life, connection, peace, and a little doubt. It was that doubt they had to rip away tonight. It had started as a seedling when the first test had come back negative and had grown with each month of restless energy. He and Reed had to show Hannah that they loved her and that they could survive, even if they couldn’t get pregnant right away. Because, right now, the lack of child was just a festering wound that threatened to take hold and swallow them all. He loved his two mates with every breath he had in him, and he would show Hannah that tonight. Though it might seem crass to some to use sex as a way to connect, they were of nature. Reed was a werewolf, a shifter who was an animal at the most heightened of times. His Hannah was a witch, in tune with the earth and its energy. And he was a demon, or at least a partial one, and had the energy to match. Even though the little things he’d done to show her had been enough for him, tonight he’d use their bodies to show what they meant to each other.

  They loved each other. They needed each other. They would get past this. They were the triad of the Redwood Pack, the strongest of the strong, and held the trinity bond. They would be okay. They had defeated a demon in battle and had taken a step toward victory in war; they could handle this.

  “Hey, boys,” Hannah said as she came in the house. Her ample hips swayed as she took off her jacket. Her beyond sexy walk was an effortless movement, one she didn’t even have to think about. Josh loved the fact that she radiated sex toward him and Reed without even trying. Reed immediately wrapped his arms around her, and she sank into him.

  Josh came around the other side of them and welcomed her. Her sweet honey and bitter-apple scent invaded his nostrils, and he shuddered in anticipation.

  “Hello, my witch,” he whispered as she wiggled against his cock. He pulled back so he didn’t bend her over the table and fuck her right there. He had plans that included time, teasing, and kissing. Not hardcore fucking.

  Okay, maybe a little of that, but it would have to wait. At least like five minutes.

  Reed captured their mate’s lips and groaned. “I love welcoming you home.”

  Hannah giggled—yes, they made her do that—and turned her head to kiss Josh. “I love it, too.”

  She sighed, and Josh picked up on a little sadness with it. They’d been so busy with the war and their own lives, he was afraid they’d neglected their Hannah. He had to fix that. He had to fix a lot of things.

  Josh wrapped Hannah’s hair around his fist and tugged. The slight gasp she let out went straight to his already aching balls as her eyes widened. He gripped harder, tighter, and her breaths came in shallow pants. Her pupils dilated so he could barely see the dove gray he loved. The three of them weren’t in a dominant and submissive relationship. Though he knew others in the Pack lived that lifestyle, theirs was of equal measure, though he tended to be the roughest. That his Hannah would let herself go in his hold just made him want to fuck her right then.

  “Fuck, Josh, look at her,” Reed rasped as he ran a finger up and down her jaw, soothing.

  Oh, he was looking at her. He was always looking at her. This was the little witch who’d taken him in, loved him when he’d wanted to run, who’d held him when he’d broken. She was his mate. His hurting mate that needed to feel wanted, needed. A job he and Reed could do.

  “I’m looking, but I think she has on too many clothes.” He rolled his hips, his erection rubbing against her ass, and she groaned.

  “You two are crazy,” she rasped out as he scored his teeth down the side of her neck. “I just got home, and I thought we were going to eat.”

  “Oh, my witch, we’re going to eat,” Josh said as he sucked the place he’d bit her after the demon fire that had threatened them all. It was a mating mark that only wolves gave, but he’d had to do the same. She was his and through the mark on his neck that ached in remembrance of her touch he knew he was hers, as well.

  She buckled against him and let out a sigh. “You’re not thinking of dinner, are you?”

  “Only if you’re my dinner, baby,” Reed said then groaned. “God, that’s like the cheesiest thing I’ve ever said.”

  Josh smiled and kissed his lover softly on the lips over Hannah’s head. “Yes, but we love you anyway.” It felt so right to have his mates in his arms, loving on them. He’d been the new one in the relationship, the one who hadn’t been involved in the supernatural world, who had never felt attracted to another man, yet here he was, in love with both Reed and Hannah and at peace. Or, at least he would be once he was inside them.

  Yes, that was good. He needed them. Now.

  He rotated his hips so his cock lay in the crease between Hannah’s cheeks and moved so he could feel her through his jeans. Hannah sighed and leaned back, her plump ass turning
him on more than anything could.

  “Let’s take this to the bedroom,” Josh said. “Because I’m going to bend you over that bed, and I want to lick every sweet inch of your skin so I can make sure I remember what you taste like.” And he wanted to make sure his Hannah knew how much he wanted her, but he wasn’t going to let her in on that. No, he had to approach that more subtlety. Well, as subtle as he could get thrusting into her tight pussy.

  His cock twitched at the thought, and he led both of them to the bedroom, the tattoos on his arms pulsating with each beat of his heart. They’d made love in every room of the house and most of the places surrounding it outside, but he wanted this time to be in the place they slept and let go of their protective walls. They needed to relax, love, and sweat.

  Hannah turned toward him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him softly.

  “Get naked,” she ordered then bit her lip in that cute way she always did.

  He smiled, stripped off his shirt, and then unbuttoned his pants. His already too-hard cock bounced against his body as he released it from the confines of his jeans and boxer briefs. He grinned as Reed licked his lips, his lover’s eyes glowing gold with arousal. Josh loved when the wolf came out to play. It was such an integral part of Reed that they needed it there at the surface, adding to the energy of their mating.

  Hannah and Reed stood naked in front of him, their bodies flushed with arousal. Without saying anything, Josh knelt in front of Hannah and buried his face in her curls. She let out a sharp gasp as he feasted on her juices. He gripped her ass with his hands and kneaded, and he felt her hand tangle in his hair as she steadied herself. He lifted his gaze slightly to watch Reed lick and nibble her breasts.

  Oh, yes, he’d taste those later. He licked and sucked around her clit, her body pulsating beneath his touch. Her taste burst on his tongue, and he growled. He felt the demon within him stir, ready to increase his strength. Though it was still new to him, he had the control to stop it. He increased his speed then plunged two fingers into her pussy. She bucked against him, and he felt her walls tighten around him as she came.