Broken Rules

by Olivia Jake

  “Practice?”

  “Acting, Alexandra. Memorizing lines. Each interviewer asks the same questions, so I already know my responses.”

  “Have you had any time to yourself? Any time to explore or relax?” Alex was genuinely concerned. She could hear the exhaustion and indifference in his voice. The man she was talking to was very different than the happy-go-lucky man she had met only a few weeks prior.

  He chuckled. “Any downtime, they want Kimberly and me together. So it’s not exactly relaxing.”

  “I’ve seen some of the pictures.” Alex admitted.

  “Alexandra, I’ve told you, it’s all fake. You have to know that.”

  “I know, Marco. It’s still hard to see you with another woman.” Alex paused, embarrassed that she revealed that, that she sounded clingy or presumptuous. “I mean, not that we’re exclusive or anything. I mean, if you want to see other people, you know, it’s not like we’ve talked about that. But if you do, and I totally get that you probably do, then maybe we shouldn’t —“

  Marco cut her off from continuing to ramble, “Alexandra, stop it. I don’t want anyone else. I didn’t think I had to say that, I thought you’d just know that. Have I not proven to you that I’m not like other men? That I’m not like other actors?”

  “Marco, we hardly know each other. We’ve only spent a few days together. You can’t expect me to—“

  Again, he cut her off, “I can’t expect you to what? To trust me? Yes, Alexandra, I can. And I do.” The edge and anger in his voice reminded her that he was so much more than a pretty face. They were reminders that he was sensitive and caring and emotional, all qualities that were great for bringing out emotion on screen, but were not match for the rest of the machine that was the industry.

  Regardless, the time apart already had Alex feeling like perhaps whatever they shared was a fleeting, temporary fling. It was hard for her to hold onto the feeling that she had on the island. “Marco, we were together for a few days, and now you’re gone for two weeks. There’s no way you can know someone in such a short amount of time. There just isn’t.”

  “Are you saying you don’t trust me, Alexandra?” Alex hated that they were having this conversation over the phone. Well, she hated that they were having it at all.

  “Marco, I do trust you.” and she did. She felt like a chump for admitting it, because in the back of her mind she knew it was more likely than not that she’d be proved wrong. But she did trust him. “I just don’t like the circumstances.” She paused. “If you saw pictures of me out with another man, how would you feel?”

  “That’s different, Alexandra.”

  And she knew it was, but she still asked, “how?”

  “Because, the pictures of me with Kimberly are all to help publicize our movie. If I saw pictures of you with another man, it wouldn’t be publicity.”

  “I know, Marco. We just… I don’t know. So much happened so quickly, and now, it feels like it stopped just as quickly.”

  “I know, amor. We should have talked before I left.”

  “What would you have said?” her voice suddenly smaller than usual, afraid to hear what his answer would be.

  “Can you wait until I’m back? I want to tell you in person. I don’t like having these types of conversations over the phone.” He sounded so sincere, yet Alex’s mind couldn’t help but go to a bad place.

  “Of course, Marco. Let’s talk when you get back.” Alex couldn’t keep herself from sounding deflated, defeated.

  “Don’t be sad, Corazon. I’ll be back soon.”

  “Ok, I have to go.” Alex said, which was the truth, but she couldn’t bear continuing this conversation.

  “Ciao, mi amor.”

  “Bye, Marco.” And as she hung up, Alex couldn’t help but think that saying goodbye to him then might be saying goodbye to him forever.

  Alex was the first to arrive at the restaurant. She was 20 minutes early, not because she was so eager for the date, she just had to get out of her house. The longer she stayed there, the more depressed she got about Marco. She was surprised at just how much she was feeling for this man, a man she barely knew and someone who was exactly what she wasn’t looking for: An actor; younger; someone who admitted he was losing control and wanted to exert it on her; and someone who was so much in the public eye that there were cover stories about him. If someone had told Alex that’s who she would be falling for, she would have told them they were crazy. Of course, that wasn’t the whole story or the whole Marco. She had seen a side to him, or many sides really, that proved he was so much more than those things. But she couldn’t ignore what she didn’t want. And after such an intense beginning, having so much time apart was 180 degrees from what they’d had.

  So, Alex found herself at the bar with a margarita on the rocks. The bartender was cute, flashing her his million-dollar smile, and Alex couldn’t help but smile back. It was so rare that she went out, that when men paid attention to her, she was always surprised. But she had put some effort into her outfit, which too was surprising. She realized that she couldn’t go out on a Friday night in her usual jeans, tank top and tennis shoes. And after looking in her closet, she realized that was pretty much all she had. So she actually went shopping. She didn’t want to look too eager, but it was a Friday night, so she put on a sleeveless jersey knit black dress with heels. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she wore her hair down. She actually looked like a woman rather than her typical tomboy self.

  “Oh my god, I almost didn’t recognize you! You look amazing, Alex!” Sam said as she walked up and gave Alex a hug. “Wait, that came out all wrong. You know you always look amazing…” they both laughed.

  Alex finished Sam’s sentence, “but tonight I actually look like a girl?”

  Sam shrugged, “Sorry. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than jeans. And I’ve definitely never seen your hair down. And, wow, where have you been to get a tan like that?”

  “There’s a story to the tan…” Alex said with a shit-eating grin that she just couldn’t stifle. The tequila was starting to hit her already.

  “Oh, this sounds good!” Sam sat down and ordered herself a martini.

  Alex giggled, “But I don’t think I can tell you about it just yet, not with our dates on their way.”

  “Is this a guy-story, Alex? Are you seeing someone?”

  “Yes, and I think, I’m not sure. God, it’s so complicated.”

  “Well, I know a thing or two about complicated relationships.” They shared a laugh. Sam and Laurent’s relationship had seen more than its fair share of drama. It took Sam a long time to accept Laurent into her life, and even when she did, it took her even longer to be comfortable with the fact that he was her client. In fact, if anyone could understand Alex’s concerns about Marco, at least as far as they related to her career, it would be Sam.

  “So, um don’t take this the wrong way, but then why are you here? I mean, out on a date?”

  Alex shook her head, took a deep breath and let out an even deeper exhale and then shrugged her shoulders before she could string her thoughts together. Even then, she didn’t really know.

  “Because, I don’t even know what’s going on with us, and he’s out of town and we shouldn’t even be together, and, I don’t know, I think part of me needs a distraction. I need to see if what I feel for Marco is different than what I feel around someone like James.”

  Sam’s voice hushed, “Marco? As in Marco Flores?”

  Alex’s face flushed bright red, another huge grin spread across her face and she just nodded.

  “Oh my.” Sam said and took a healthy sip of her martini. “Alex, he’s gorgeous. And so young! And what about your rule?”

  “Exactly!” Alex said indignantly, like it was someone else’s fault.

  Alex threw her hands up in the air, feigning drama, “Down the drain.” They both laughed. Then Alex got serious. “Please don’t say anything, Sam. I don’t even know w
hat we have. We were on a shoot, together 24/7 and, oh, I don’t know, it was all just so intense. And now he’s on a publicity tour for two weeks, so I’ve been trying to figure it out… and here I am, out on a date. God, what a mess.”

  “Damn, I wish it were just us girls tonight, I have so many questions!”

  “Cheri, you’re lucky I love you so much. Otherwise, I’d be offended.” Laurent said, having walked up at that exact moment, standing right behind Sam, this time making Sam blush. He leaned down to kiss her and then whispered so that only Sam could hear, “I cannot wait to punish you for that, Samantha.” Sam’s blush simply burned hotter as she grinned up at him.

  “You must be Alex.” Laurent said as he held out his hand. Alex could see why Sam was so head over heels in love with him. It wasn’t just that he was handsome, it was the confidence he exuded. And his French accent didn’t hurt either.

  “It’s so good to meet you, Laurent. Sam’s told me a lot about you.” Alex said as she shook his hand. His eyebrow went up upon hearing that.

  “And she hasn’t told me much about you, Alex. So I too have many questions.” They all shared a laugh, at which point, James arrived.

  “Well this is a good sign, everyone’s laughing already.” James said as he shook Laurent’s hand, clapping him on the back. Then he leaned in to give Sam a kiss on the cheek, “Good to see you, Sam.” And then leaned to give Alex a kiss on the cheek as well, “And I’m really glad to see you, Alex.”

  Alex couldn’t help but smile and blush, all eyes on her. “It’s good to see you too, James.” She said a little breathier than usual. Suddenly, she was nervous. James was a good looking man. Confident. Strong. He was a director after all, and Alex knew that to execute that type of creative vision, to stick to your guns and tell everyone from actors to studio heads what to do, well, she knew a weak person couldn’t do that job.

  The hostess came over and led them to their table. As Alex slipped off the bar stool, James put his hand on the small of her back, sending shivers throughout her body. She wasn’t sure if those shivers were nerves or excitement, but that simple touch said a lot to her. He was confident enough to think it ok to lead her with his hand. He kept it there until they got to the table, and then pulled out her chair for her. When he removed his hand, Alex found that she missed it. Oh, God, what was happening to her? How could she enjoy the touch of another man after what she had just experienced with Marco?

  “Alex?” James asked. Alex was obviously having one of her little conversations with herself.

  Flushing again, “oh, yeah, sorry, I think that margarita hit me a little hard.”

  “Does alcohol always make you talk to yourself?” he teased.

  “The voices in my head just get a little louder, that’s all.”

  Alex was awash in emotions. She was both surprised, and feeling guilty that she was flirting with someone other than Marco. And not just flirting, but enjoying it. She wondered if Marco had simply awoken something that had been dormant for so long. That, perhaps it wasn’t him, his family and the islands, but rather it was something inside of her that was now bubbling up to the surface.

  From their brief conversation at the bar, it was clear to Sam that her friend needed time to gather her thoughts. She redirected the conversation, allowing Alex to exhale as Sam asked casually, “so, James, you just got back from shooting for two months in Romania?”

  Alex smiled at Sam, grateful that the attention was off of her while James recounted production in Romania. As he talked, Alex couldn’t help but compare him to Marco. Whereas Marco didn’t take himself seriously at all, it was clear that James did. James wasn’t a bad man, but he wasn’t Marco. Unfortunately, that didn’t prevent Alex from feeling something for him. In her current state, she wasn’t sure what it was. With Marco, Alex felt safe. Excited, but safe. Even just this brief interaction with James, Alex felt unsettled. She couldn’t be sure if it was anxiety or excitement, but there was something about James that kept her interested.

  It didn’t help that Marco was out of town, or that, just as fast as their relationship had developed, that’s how quickly it stalled because of his trip. It had gone from 0 to 60 and then back to 0, giving Alex what felt like emotional whiplash.

  As she was reflecting, she was half listening to James talk. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, not being 100% present or comparing his every move, word, every little bit of his personality to Marco’s. If she couldn’t be there mentally, she should have just said no to the date in the first place. So she tried to focus, and be there, with James, Sam and Laurent, rather than in her head with Marco.

  Every now and then, Alex would see Laurent stroke Sam’s hand, or put his hand on her thigh. A couple times, she just saw him looking at her like she was the only woman in the room. Like he cherished her. Alex smiled at Sam and couldn’t help but be reminded of what Patricia whispered to her when they said their goodbyes. Was that the way Marco looked at her?

  “Voices in your head talking again?” James asked and Alex laughed, shaking her head.

  “Gosh, I’m really not usually this spacy. Someone must have spiked my margarita.” She deflected.

  James tenderly brushed her hair off her forehead and placed his hand there as if he were feeling for fever. His touch made Alex jump, producing a small smile from James. Even though they were small touches, between this and his hand on her back, there was something very forward about him. Like there was no question as to whether he could put his hands on her. It was too familiar too quickly. They hadn’t established a bond yet. It was as if he felt entitled. But there was something that compelled Alex to play along.

  “Any fever, doctor?” It must have been the tequila flirting, Alex wasn’t quite sure where that came from.

  “I might need to do a more thorough exam, just to be sure.” James said, making Alex flush again and Sam clear her throat. Laurent picked up the ball and changed the subject.

  “Alex, I was just saying that Sam had told me you just came back from a shoot too.” Laurent asked. They had each recounted their recent travels, and now it was Alex’s turn.

  “Yes, though not nearly as dramatic as Romania. We were down in the Galapagos Islands for a photoshoot for the better part of a week.” Alex tried to play it off.

  “Who were you shooting? And, any pesky directors imposing their wills?” James asked, playfully referring back to when they had met. Alex had put her foot in it, lamenting 11th hour input from a director after the shoot practically wrapped. This was, of course, before she knew he was a director.

  Alex laughed at the reminder and James shot her a mischievous grin. But then, upon thinking about who she shot, Alex’s breath caught. She swallowed and recovered, hoping no one noticed, “Um, Marco Flores for Vanity Fair. They’re doing an article on him.” Not one to brag, that’s all Alex offered.

  “You’re kidding! I’m meeting with him next week. He’s testing for the lead in my next movie. Well this evening just got even better! Now I can get the real inside story on him. Spill!” James said, a little too enthusiastically.

  Alex felt her hackles go up. It wasn’t just because of her relationship with Marco. It was that suddenly, she became useful to James. Like this had just turned into a business deal. She had worked in this industry long enough to know that information was power, especially dirt, which obviously, James was keen on getting. Whatever spaciness or flirtatious feelings Alex had before was replaced with steely resolve. She suddenly felt very protective of Marco. She knew that what she had been privy to, the Marco that she got to know, that was for her eyes only. Aside from their relationship, what she saw with his family was so intimate, so personal, she would never share that with anyone. To do so would be a betrayal even beyond this date.

  That said, she had spent the better part of the evening listening to James recount his latest production, and what he had to go through and who he had to win over in order to get the movie that he wanted. She knew enough to know that challenging a man like
James head-on was a no-win situation. She figured if she played dumb, he’d buy it and leave it be.

  Wherever her soft, feminine, flirty side had come from, it, in that instant, retreated.

  “There’s really not much to tell. I was just the photographer. You’d have to ask the writer. All I do is take the pretty pictures.” James nodded, accepting all too easily Alex’s explanation, and took another bite of his dinner. That he didn’t challenge her description of her career spoke volumes, whether it be lack of respect or lack of interest to delve further. Interestingly, Alex saw something flash across Laurent’s face. As quickly as it registered, that’s how quickly his poker face reappeared. He was a perceptive one and Alex guessed that he didn’t quite buy her simple, dismissive answer. But he was also respectful. Alex knew she could trust Sam not to tell him about her relationship with Marco, but by the look on his face, it seemed her answer to James’ question told Laurent more than she had ever intended. Thankfully, he didn’t let on, and the conversation drifted to James’ next movie, which he was happy to talk about and Alex did her best to feign interest.

  The rest of the evening went fine. More small talk about all of their respective projects. By then, it felt almost like a client dinner. A lot of industry talk. Nothing too deep or personal. Whatever Alex had felt earlier, she now knew this would be the first and last date with James, but she was glad at what it proved to her. That whatever it was that she and Marco had, it was special. On paper, and given everything she had experienced with actors, James was leaps and bounds the better choice for her, if the two were competing. But that didn’t matter. What she felt for Marco wasn’t something that Alex had ever felt before. All she could do was give it a shot.

  Alex tried not to retreat back into her head, but it was a struggle once it became clear that she had no interest in James. Unfortunately, all she could think about was Marco, and how much she wished he were there with her.

  James was the one who had picked the restaurant, one of the trendier spots, known for being a celebrity hangout. When the four of them finally walked out, sure enough, there were paparazzi. Caught up in James’ question about seeing her again when he got back from a scouting trip the following week, Alex didn’t think much of the flashes as they went off. She assumed that because she wasn’t anyone, and no one in their group was a celebrity per se, that the shots of the four of them, or really, the two couples, wouldn’t ever be seen by the light of day. She also figured that by the time James got back, he’d forget to call, or realize there wasn’t any spark.