Broken Rules

by Olivia Jake

  And this time, even Kara didn’t push for information. She had never seen Alex like this before. As much as she wanted to know what was wrong, what she wanted more was to see her friend be ok. But every time they talked, it was clear she was far from getting there.

  Alex couldn’t help but wonder if she were wrong about thinking that things should have been easier with Marco. She wondered, if it were easy, then would any of it have been worth it? She knew it couldn’t possibly have hurt so much if it had been easy, if she didn’t care so damn much. Alex had little relationship experience to draw upon. While her relationship with Jesús was of a different nature, it was the antithesis of easy. It was a challenge from the start, and while it took a long time for them to get to where they were today, although they still had their issues from time to time, it was one of the most meaningful, rewarding relationships in Alex’s life, and she knew that if it had been easy, then what she got out of it would likely pale in comparison.

  It didn’t help that shortly after they broke up, the Vanity Fair issue finally came out, pouring salt on wounds that were still fresh and raw.

  Alex got an advanced copy of the magazine. They chose the shot of Marco in the tub in his tux for the cover. But almost all of the other shots were used throughout the article. Seeing them was like a trip down memory lane. There was the shot of him in the pool with the rubber duckies, him with his dogs, on the beach with the sea lions, with his family cooking, in the bar with Ceci. Each photo had meaning for her, and she found herself smiling as she looked at them. Never before had a shoot become so personal. Then Alex started reading the article.

  VF: It was hard not to be disarmed by Marco Flores’ stunning good looks, irresistible charm and natural charisma. But the more I’ve come to know him, the more it’s clear that his rise to fame isn’t just because of all of the above, though, they certainly don’t hurt. It seems as though he’s somewhat of a rare breed in Hollywood. As far as this writer could tell, there’s substance beneath all that style. Over the course of the interviews I did with him, both at his home in Los Angeles as well as his family’s home in the Galapagos Islands, he seemed open, honest and sincere. He didn’t seem to take the Hollywood machine too terribly seriously, not to say that he doesn’t appreciate everything that it has so far afforded him. In fact, the only area where he wasn’t more than solicitous was when it came to his love life.

  But we’ll start with where it all began, on a tiny island in the Galapagos chain called San Cristobol. I was glad I did that part of the interview second so that I could first get to know the man he has become, and then meet the women who shaped his life.

  Alex continued to read and Tiffany seemed to do a good job capturing the Marco she had come to know. Then again, he was an easy subject. She was right about him being open and honest, which only made it easier for the writer. When she got to the question about romance, she was relieved and impressed with how tactfully he handled it.

  VF: It’s clear what a strong influence your mother, grandmother and sisters have played on your upbringing. Being surrounded by a houseful of women, do you think it’s influenced your relationship choices?

  MF: Well, I imagine it’s influenced all of my choices, not just relationships. It’s what I know.

  VF: Speaking of relationships, there have been plenty of different women seen on your arm over the past few years, but you’ve never been officially linked to any of them. Is that on purpose? Is there anyone special in your life?

  MF: You know, it’s flattering that there is so much interest in my personal life that this article is even being done on me. It’s all still a bit overwhelming. It wasn’t that long ago that I was just a tour guide. So there are still a lot of things that I’m getting used to. Having shared so much with you and your readers is, well, it’s nice that I have a chance to show people, those who are interested at least, that I’m more than just a pretty face. (Here he flashed that award-winning smile, as if driving the point of his pretty face home.) But I think there are some things that should remain private. You’ve met my mother and grandmother! Dios! Can you imagine them reading about my love life? (Marco laughed here)

  VF: It was true, especially for his grandmother Patricia. It was easy to imagine her handily chastising her Adonis grandson for what she would likely see as airing laundry that no one should see. And, it was hard not to respect how artfully he dodged the question. He’s clearly learned from his albeit short career in Hollywood, how to successfully navigate the press. Perhaps that’s just one more of his secrets to success: evasion without insult. To the untrained eye, he seemed to easily laugh off questions he wished to avoid. But, when one looked a little deeper, what could be seen was incredible self-restraint and control. He never once lost his cool during the interviews, and according to all the people he’s worked with, they’d never seen anything other than a professional, all-around good man, wrapped in a perfect package.

  Alex knew about love and loss, but no amount of knowledge or past experience could have prepared her for just how much she missed him. While their relationship wasn’t perfect, it had become such a big part of her life that now, its absence was just as defining. Reading the Vanity Fair article and looking at all the photos, she was reminded of just what an amazing man and family she had met, and just how much they had all come to mean to her. But none of that mattered anymore. She knew that she screwed up, an understatement, and hurt him irrevocably. Beyond that, she knew first hand that their actual life together was far different than the perfect pictures and tidy summary of his life that the article portrayed. She tried to make it work. Perhaps not hard enough, but she opened herself up to something that she had vowed she never would. And she was glad she did. While it was cut too short, she could see that now, still she wouldn’t give up that experience for the world.

  Alex knew she’d be ok as she put the magazine, cover side down, on her desk. She cherished that time together enough that she wouldn’t throw the magazine away, but that didn’t mean she needed to see his perfect image staring up at her. She would get over him, eventually. She just needed time to let the wound heal, time where there were no articles about him, no memories of their time shoved in her face, time away from all things Marco. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself, that in time, she’d feel better. Distance and time, it was a mantra she said over and over again.

  And then James Willen called.

  CHAPTER 25

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve been avoiding me, Alex.” James said, hitting the nail on the head. Of course, Alex would never say as much.

  She laughed and tried her best to play it off, “Oh, James, you know how it is. Work’s been crazy busy. I’m sorry I never got back to you. Every time I picked up the phone to call, something else came up.”

  “I do know how it is, Alex. I’ve actually been in and out of town getting ready for my next movie. I was going to call you again, but I figured if you were interested, you would have phoned me back.”

  Alex felt a pang of guilt, but she wasn’t that worried about James Willen’s feelings. He was a big boy and she was pretty sure he had his pick of women to choose from.

  “But you’re calling now…” Alex said.

  “Purely business, Alex. I wanted to call you directly after I saw the Vanity Fair issue with Marco Flores.” He paused and just hearing Marco’s name made Alex’s heart start beating faster.

  “You know, he’s playing the lead in my new film, Where The Truth Lies, and after I saw what you were able to get out of him, I knew you were the only photographer I wanted for the ad and marketing shoot.”

  Alex heard his words, but equally loud was the sound of her heart pounding in her own ears.

  “Alex, you there?” James asked, bringing Alex back to reality.

  “Sorry, James, yeah, I’m here. And thank you, wow, that’s quite a compliment.”

  “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. I’ve gotten to know him a little bit over these last f
ew weeks, and he plays his cards closer to his vest than I would have thought. Somehow, you were able to capture a side of him that I haven’t seen yet. We’re still in the pre-pro stage, and I’m confident that he’ll come out of his shell once we start shooting, but my schedule’s booked all through production and then I’m already out of the country after we’re scheduled to wrap, so I want to do the shoot now, while I’m still in town.”

  “Oh, ok. Um, are you working with an agency? Are there approved concepts? Or are you looking for my input?”

  “I’m working with Sam Davis again. After her last campaign, I wouldn’t trust anyone else. And obviously, I know you two are friends, so I’m hoping it can be a collaborative effort. I’ve only just recently reached out to her, but I wanted to make sure you were on board, then I thought we could all meet. Since there’s nothing yet for either of you to see, I can send you a script and take you through some of the mood boards, give you a sense of the tone and feel of the project.”

  “Great, ok.” Alex was on auto-pilot. There was no way she could just say no. But more than that, she didn’t want to say no. She wanted to see Marco. Kind of. Although, shooting him could go terribly, terribly wrong. He could refuse to work with her. Or he could refuse to do what she and Sam wanted him to. But that would be his decision. All she could do right now was say yes to the shoot.

  “Excellent! I’ll have my assistant work out the dates and details with your rep.”

  “That sounds great, James. And thank you for thinking of me for this.” She said sincerely.

  “There really wasn’t anyone else, Alex.” He said, sending chills up Alex’s spine. There was something about him that she found attractive, and whatever it was, was still there. But she knew it wasn’t nearly enough. Not after what she had with Marco.

  “Thanks, James. I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Me too, Alex. Me too.” James said sexily and then hung up.

  Alex tried to soak in what this all might mean, and she knew that the reality was that it would probably be neither an amazing shoot which brought them back together where they professed their love to each other, just as it would probably not be the worst shoot where he stormed off stage. The likelihood was that they’d both be professional, do their jobs, and then, after the shoot, go their separate ways. Alex wasn’t sure which would be worse: embarrassing drama or utter indifference.

  CHAPTER 26

  Alex’s email to Kara and Sam read:

  By now you’ve both probably heard from James Willen re: the upcoming shoot. I need some female advice, accompanied by wine or vodka or tequila or all three. Can we all get together soon, like tonight? My treat.

  Kara replied first:

  Tell me when and where and I’m there.

  Then Sam chimed in:

  Ditto.

  Alex made reservations for a small quiet Italian place that was convenient for all of them. It was dark, intimate and somewhere they could have a conversation without yelling.

  She spent the rest of the afternoon reading the script, so totally able to see Marco play the young husband torn apart by what seemingly was his wife’s suicide. But something doesn’t add up, and as he starts digging through the few clues, he uncovers secrets she had been keeping their entire relationship, and he realizes he never knew the woman he thought he loved. But he also uncovers that there’s no way it was a suicide. She was murdered. He’s torn between pursuing the investigation as he’s battling with feelings of anger and resentment at her having lied about everything. But even knowing that, he knows in his heart that she loved him, that that couldn’t have been a lie. And whatever woman she was with him, he knew she could never have killed herself. Ever.

  Alex knew just by reading the script that this could be a career-defining role for Marco. She was shaken just by the words she read. But knowing him, knowing what intensity he could bring to the role, and knowing what a master James was, this could really be something special. She knew she had no right to be happy for him, or feel proud of how far he had come. But she did, nonetheless.

  Once again, she got to the restaurant first and ordered a nice Barolo. Just the first couple sips helped relax her. About 15 minutes later, both Sam and Kara walked in. Simply seeing them both, there for Alex in her time of need, made her misty.

  “Oh no, Alex. The waterworks are already starting and we haven’t even gotten to the table!” Sam teased as she pulled her into a tight hug. Alex laughed and sniffled.

  “Now you can see why I had to call this emergency meeting!” Alex exclaimed and all three women laughed as they went to their table.

  “Soooo, Aleeexxx…” Kara started.

  “It’s ok, Kara, you don’t have to walk on eggshells.”

  “Whew. I thought it was going to be a really long night if I did!” they all laughed, and then both Kara and Sam looked expectantly at Alex.

  “Kara and I walked in together. She told me that you and Marco weren’t together anymore?” Sam said with her usual bluntness.

  Alex took another sip before answering, “Yeah, that’s kind of why I wanted to meet with you both. With this shoot coming up, I, hell I don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know, sweetie?” Kara asked.

  “Everything. I don’t know how I should act around him. I mean, it’s going to be awkward seeing each other… and, oh who am I kidding: I think I want him back but I don’t even know if he’d ever be able to take me back after what I did…”

  “Whatever you did, it couldn’t be any worse than what I did to Laurent. And he took me back.” Alex and Kara exchanged a look, then Sam continued. “He never stopped loving me. Even when I stopped loving me. When I hated myself for betraying him and for not believing that what we had was so special that I threw it away because I was afraid that I’d be one of those women who chose love over career, and I didn’t realize that I could have both.” Sam said as she reached out and took Alex’s hand into hers, giving it a light squeeze.

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure I can top yours.” Alex said ruefully.

  “Well, before we play ‘who’s the bigger jerk’, do you want to be with him?” Sam asked sincerely.

  “Almost every minute of every day.” Alex said with a small laugh. “I never thought I could miss someone so much. You know, after my parents died, I missed them so much, I never thought I’d feel such a sense of loss ever again.” She paused, steeling herself for strength. Talking about her parents, even all these years later, was still painful.

  “But with them, there wasn’t anything I could do. They were gone, and they were never coming back. The crash took them. Now, with Marco, I worry that if I just let him go, it will be my fault that he’s gone, even when he’s still there. I, I guess I feel like I’m being disrespectful to the relationship that could be, if that makes any sense. Like, to throw away something that was so good isn’t respecting how special it is. I mean, how special it was.”

  “So then there’s your answer.”

  Alex shook her head. “It’s not that simple, or that clear. I still don’t know if I can deal with all the things that come with him being an actor. The invasion of privacy. The tabloids. All that crap. You know, even though this town has made me what I am today, I really fucking hate a lot of it.” That got a good laugh from all the women, as they all nodded in agreement.

  “More than that, I don’t know if he feels the same way. I hurt him. I really, really hurt him.” As Alex said this, her eyes filled with tears again.

  “You know, Alex, the last time I saw you was when we were out with James and Laurent, and we haven’t had a chance to even talk about Marco since then. I didn’t realize it was so serious.” Sam said and then Kara piped up.

  “Have you seen the pictures of the two of them?” Kara asked eagerly and Sam shook her head. “Oh my God, you’ve got to see them. Then you’ll see how good they are together!”

  “Kara, they’re just pictures!”

  “Alex, with all due respect, I know you’re the photogra
pher, but a blind person could see the connection between the two of you in those shots.”

  “Ok, now I’m dying to see them!” Sam said and Alex pulled out her phone to show her.

  “Oh my God, Alex, Kara’s right. These are amazing. You guys look… you look so happy together.” Sam said almost reverentially.

  And once again, the tears started flowing. “Oh, damnit! Jesus, this is ridiculous. I’ve become a waterfall!” Alex said, laughing through the tears as both Sam and Kara reached for her hands to give her a reassuring squeeze.

  “So now what? I don’t trust myself anymore to make any decisions when it comes to me and Marco. I need your help. What do I do?”

  Sam held onto Alex’s hand when she said simply, “Well, you could always start with an apology.”

  CHAPTER 27

  Sam was right. Regardless of how it turned out, of whether they could ever be friends, or more, again, Alex owed Marco an apology. She just didn’t have the vaguest idea how to go about it, or whether he’d even answer the phone if he saw her calling.

  But after that dinner with the girls, Alex realized she had one thing that she could use as a peace offering. She went to the lab and made large, 16x20 watercolor paper prints of each of the shots of them together. There was the first one of them in the tub at his house, then the two of them with the sea lions, Marco pouring alcohol into her mouth at Ceci’s bar, the two of them out on the boat, and countless others from their time together.