Twisting Fate

by Charisse Reid

  She bites the edge of her lip and nods. "I meant it. I can help you if you'll let me. If cheerleading is what you want then cheerleading is what you'll get. If you want to stay at home that's fine too. I'll raise the baby like my own. You may not love me now, but give us a chance and you may. I don't expect anything from you permanently, Kinzleigh; at least, for now. I can support you and the baby, put you through school, and give you whatever you want. You know California is where you want to be. No one even has to know the baby isn't mine if that's what you want, to keep down questions. I'm done with school and starting a career. I bought a house, Kinz. Come back with me to California. Move in with me."

  I hold my breath as I wait for some kind of response. She stares at me and the silence is deafening. The longer she sits here the more nervous I become. She finally releases a breath and takes a seat on the edge of the bed, tears falling from her eyes. I'm not sure if those are good tears or bad tears. My stomach is beginning to knot up. Upsetting her is the last thing I want to do.

  Taking a seat beside her I grab her hand in mine. I remain quiet as I allow her time to process everything. I hate to see her cry. My insides die a little when she does. I'm starting to think maybe I made the wrong decision by coming here, when she turns toward me pulling her leg up on the bed. The movement causes me to look in her direction.

  Don't look between her legs. Don't look between her legs.

  Maybe we should have put my boxers on her, because my dick is starting to harden and now is not the time nor the place. I would have never in a million years have thought I would be turned on by someone pregnant. "You know I do love you, right?"

  Maybe I didn't hear her correctly. "Well no, Kinz, I didn't know that."

  "Preston, You're one of my best friends. I will always love you, but I can't love you like I love Breyson. Do you really want to be with someone that can't give you her whole heart?" She pauses to let me think and I do. I think back on the fact that I could find a girl that would love me and only me; be happy to give me her heart, but I've thought on this since she started dating him and the answer remains the same. Some of her is better than none of her at all. I believe people can change; I have to. She may think she'll never love me that way, but there is always the possibility that she will. I have to believe in that possibility, because the alternative will never be good enough. If I turn her away I will always live with the regret of what if.

  "Yeah. If it's you, Kinz, I think I do."

  "If I was going to be in a relationship with anyone else I'd want it to be you, but you need to understand going in that I will never love you the same way I loved him. The truth is, before you got here I had already decided to leave. I can't be surrounded by everything that reminds me of him anymore. If I'm going to have any chance at moving on I have to get away from here. I'll go with you and even be in a relationship with you as long as you're okay with knowing that and still want me to. I do love you, Preston; always have, always will. We were kind of pushed into it when we were born. Now that I've finally admitted to myself you can't live without love, I recognize the feeling when it's there."

  My heart begins beating in a weird rhythm each time she says those three words, no matter how she means them. Love is love regardless of the context. I pull her hand toward me telling her what I want. She stands on her knees on the mattress and closes in on me. To avoid her losing her balance I place my other hand on her hip as she straddles me.

  I wrap my hands in her curly, blonde hair and pull her face to mine, so I can look her in the eyes. There is one thing I need her to understand so that she can allow herself to move on. I press my forehead to hers and whisper an inch from her lips. "I'll never try to replace him, Kinz. It's okay to love him. I just want you to love me too."

  I want to kiss her and I allow myself to. My lips brush against hers and she doesn't pull away. Instead, she kisses me back. I slide my tongue through the crevice of her mouth in search of hers. She allows me to find hers and they mingle; tangling with one another in a dance. Her taste is hypnotic and addictive. With each taste, each touch, I find myself wanting more of her.

  She begins grinding against my hardened dick. The rhythm is enough to drive me mad. My cock has wanted her for so long it throbs with each contact from her. It's pressing hard against the denim of my jeans. She picks up the pace in her kiss from slow and steady to hunger and need. She moans out in frustration. I can tell she needs to get off, but I don't want our first time to be in this damn hotel room like a bunch of high schoolers after prom. It would fit since obviously she went to prom, but I need more with her. I didn't come this far for a quick fuck.

  I pull away from her and look her in the eyes. "You need to get off, Kinz?" I can tell she's irritated and I can't deny that I like this side of her; I love it.

  She nods her head. "It's these freaking hormones," she breathes out in aggravation. "I get so turned on with little effort at all. It's cruel."

  "When I said I would take care of you, Kinzleigh, that meant all of your needs including these. Tell me what you need from me. I want our first time to be in our own bed, but anything else I'll do. I just have one question. When will you come back with me?" Her face is flushed, but she stops long enough to ponder the question at hand.

  "You're sure this is what you want? No regrets?" She sounds short of breath and wraps her hands around my neck, combing them through the bottom of my hairline.

  "With all that I am," I say.

  "Tonight." The way she says it is so final it catches me off guard. I'll admit that I expected her to say after graduation, but this makes me happy.

  "What about your parents and graduation," I ask.

  She growls out low. "Can we please discuss this later? I haven't been with anyone else in months and I feel like I'm being tortured here."

  Sitting here with her straddled on top of me is my dream come true. I smile and fist her hair in my hand. "Anything you ask of me consider it done.

  Picking her up I turn and sit her gently at the top of the bed. "I've waited years for this." Resting on my knees between her legs, I take the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head. I want to see all of her, though. Reaching behind her I unclasp her bra and toss it beside me on the bed.

  Fuck, she's beautiful.

  I kiss her greedily, skimming my teeth along her bottom lip. I lay her back on the bed so I can have better access to her. Her breasts are full and in need of being sucked. Her nipples are taut from her heightened state. I cup my hand around her breast and rub the tip of my tongue over her nipple. Her skin tastes amazing. Sucking her nipple in my mouth I release it with a pop.

  She moans out and I know she's ready for more, but then she confirms it. "Preston, please. I need more."

  Damn, I love hearing her say my name.

  Sitting upright I hook my index finger under her panties. She gets the hint and lift off the bed allowing me to pull them over her butt and slide them down her legs. She extends her legs and points her toes, allowing me to remove them completely. Her face is flushed a shade of red. I want to know just how turned on she is right now.

  I run the tips of my fingers up the inside of her leg until I reach the center. She allows her legs to fall open and I can't take my eyes off her beautiful pink pussy. It's glistening slightly, underneath the dim lights above the bed, from the moisture. I could nut from the sight of it. Instead, I allow myself to feel it by dipping my thumb inside; so hot and wet. I've never felt anything so amazing in my entire life.

  As I pull out I run the pad of my thumb up her slit and rub it in circles over her clit. I'm so turned on right now, I feel like I could burst into flames from the heat coursing through me. My eyes lock with hers as I continue to stimulate her, pleasure her, and leave my mark on her. "I want to taste you. Let me taste you," I mutter.

  "Just don't stop. It feels so good. I need to get off. Please." I want to watch her beautiful face as she comes. I want to taste her cum on my tongue. I dip, spread and swirl one last time as I lowe
r my mouth to her sweet spot. I use the same rhythm as before, only this time with my tongue instead of thumb.

  My senses are running crazy, her taste, her smell; they’re better than I could have ever imagined. Her pussy is one of those things that you only try once and you're completely hooked. I dip my tongue inside her a few times to get another taste. When I run the tip along her folds she screams out. "Please, don't tease me."

  It's time to show her what she will get every day if she wants it. There is one thing I know without a shadow of doubt that I’m good at: going down on a girl. I begin flicking the tip of my tongue over her clit in a steady rhythm, increasing the speed as her body tells me where she likes it. She grabs ahold of my hair and pulls. I suck her into my mouth and her legs close around my head. "I'm so close."

  I begin flicking my tongue over her clit again and watch for signs she’s starting to orgasm. When her body tells me she's about to come I exchange my tongue for my thumb again and slide my tongue inside her pussy at the moment she begins to cum. I can feel the creamy warmth envelop my tongue as she tightens around my tongue. When I can tell she is finished riding the wave of her orgasm I pull out and swallow. I know I will never tire of the way she tastes. I’ve tried to imagine it for years, but nothing I ever imagined compared to the real thing.

  Trailing kisses along her thigh and over her pelvis she releases her hold on my hair and I sit up. Her face is red and moist. Her eyes are heavy. I love seeing her this way. I could spend the rest of my life just like this and be the happiest man alive. After tasting her this way I'll do whatever it takes to keep her. "So tonight, huh?"

  She bites her bottom lip in her post orgasmic state and points at my crotch. "Yeah, but don't you want me to take care of that first?" I look down and realize just how hard my dick is. It's throbbing for release, but I want her to know this is more than that for me.

  "Nah, we have plenty of time," I say and adjust my erection by pushing it down. I'm going to have blue balls from hell, but she's worth it. "I have a house to show you. Don't we need to stop by your house and get a bag so you can tell your parents?"

  Within a second she is shaking her head. "I'll call them from California. I don't want anything stopping me. I know what I want. Can we leave now?"

  I have to admit I don't like having to just bail on her parents, because they are like my own parents. I've known them since I was old enough to remember, but she's my priority now. If I have to call them tonight when she goes to sleep I will. "Okay. Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll call and book the flight. I'll have you some clothes sent up from the gift shop downstairs and we'll order room service before we check out."

  I bend down to kiss her lips with mine. There is something erotic about her tasting her cum on my lips. I cup the back of her neck and enjoy the taste of her for a moment longer. She's all I care about now. I'll forever be grateful that I decided to come earlier than I originally planned. I don't know what made her accept so easily this time, but I'll take it. I can't wait to start our lives together.

  I release her lips. They are red and swollen from the heat of our kiss. "Okay," she says in a whisper.

  "Take your time." I back up until I'm standing beside the bed. I take her beautiful body in one last time before I exit the room. There are so many things to do and preparations to make. I've always dreaded my future, because it's been planned out since I was a kid, but for the first time I'm actually looking forward to where my life is going.

  Chapter 16

  Kinzleigh

  Standing in the shower I think back on the recent events. The hot water rains down over my sensitized skin. I cannot believe I just hooked up with Preston. What the hell was I thinking? I was so upset I just wanted a distraction from my thoughts and these stupid pregnancy hormones are going to be the death of me. The combination is clearly a mix for not thinking.

  I have to admit it was hot, but right now I feel like I just cheated on Breyson. He's the only man I've ever been with in that way until...now.

  Oh, God. What have I done?

  The guilt begins to take over my mind, body, and soul. What I thought might make me feel better does, but doesn't. In a sense, I feel like I'm finally in the right direction of moving on, but at the same time I feel guilty as hell for even thinking that. Maybe I just need to allow myself to cry over him one last time.

  The water is as hot as I can stand it, filling the room with steam. I feel so dirty, because I liked what he did to me. I never thought another man would touch me there. I don't understand what to do with all of these emotions running through me. How am I supposed to feel? I'm so confused.

  Pressing my back against the shower wall, I slide down into a squatting position. Tears build up in my eyes and begin spilling over. Is it such a bad thing to want to be happy? I'm so sick of all this sadness. I want Breyson back, but there is nothing I can do. Sometimes we don't always get what we want in life. I get that now.

  Maybe I'm selfish, but I just want to try and build a new life for Bryce and me. He needs a normal family and not a single mother struggling to make ends meet. I know Preston loves me and will take care of us. Our families are as close as any family could ever be and Preston and I go back to childhood. Breyson will always have my heart and my soul, but it's time to allow myself the chance to be happy.

  I can't be tormented and miserable for the rest of my life. I'll have to deal with the pain of losing the most important person I've ever met, but it's not about me anymore. It's about Bryce and what's good for him.

  I am sure of one thing: I'm cursed. Every person I love whole-heartedly gets hurt, but that's another reason for me to take this opportunity. I couldn't control how I felt with Breyson, but I can with Preston. Sure, I meant it when I said I loved him, but he doesn't make my heart race or give me butterflies, nor does he have my emotions running wild.

  Preston has been one of my best friends since I was a child. I may never love him like I loved Breyson, but I can control my outcome with him and I know that he can make me happy. As long as I continue to have control of my own emotions around Preston, in which I do, there is no way he can end up hurt.

  One of the most well known sayings when dealing with a broken heart is that time heals all wounds. I would have never believed it before this day, because it hurts so bad to live without Breyson, but the fact that it's so known has to count for something. Maybe that's the point that the pain will ultimately never cease, but only dull. It's possible that I was living with the expectation it was supposed to magically disappear and that was an unrealistic expectation.

  Something Preston said puts it all in perspective. I don't want to replace him. I just want you to love me too. Is that the magical serum to healing a broken heart, to be able to open your heart up to love at a bigger multitude than one person?

  I allow myself to expand on that thought. Knowing I love Preston too I know that love comes in different magnitudes. With that thought, I supposed that we could increase the size of our hearts by making room for more than one person. I will never love anyone with the magnitude that I loved Breyson, but I can heal from his loss by allowing my heart to love another.

  Like Preston said, it's not about someone replacing another. Was I so scared of replacing Breyson that I condemned myself to a life full of anger and hatred toward anyone else? As the thoughts run freely through my mind I feel as if a burden has been lifted from me. I feel like I'm growing as a person, expanding on knowledge.

  I think, but can't be sure, that it's okay to forever mourn the loss of someone you love, as long as you don't let it consume you from living a normal life. People are going to come and go, and in times of despair we are going to fall, but as long as we get back up and keep going it's nothing to be ashamed of.

  Tonight is a night I'm allowing myself to fall, to cry. Tonight is also a night that I'll get back up, brush myself off, and start living. I'm going to be strong and learn to live with the constant pain in my chest from where my heart fell for an amazing man
; an irreplaceable one.

  My soul will always long for its mate, but longing for him it will have to do until it's time for them to reunite again. I can't make the decision when that day will be. Bryce needs me and there is a reason he was conceived. The plan is set into motion by something higher than ourselves and we have no control over the direction that our lives are going to turn. I learned that the hard way. I thought I could draw out my own path and I was wrong. My fate is preplanned and the more I try to fight it the more it’s going to destroy me. I feel like a puppet dangling from strings.

  Placing my left hand over the tattoo that resides on my rib cage underneath my heart, I close my eyes and let the tears flow. I let myself miss him for another moment. "I love you, Breyson. I always will. I will forever miss you," I whisper as the water trickles down my face.

  I cry for me, for him, and for Bryce. We could've had a beautiful life together, an amazing family. I'm making myself a promise that I will try to be happy from this night forward. Breyson would want me to be happy. I begin to feel a flutter again in my abdomen; my baby assuring me he's there. It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself for what I don't have and be thankful for the blessings that I do. I have to remember it isn't my place to question the things I can't control, but to trust that no matter how much it hurts there is a reason.

  Until this point my thoughts have been repetitive, constantly cycling out until I’m tired of them. I want to stop saying I’m going to do something and do it. I want a new series of thoughts. Out of sight, out of mind, right? California could change everything around for me. Standing, I finish my shower in a peace that I haven't had in a long time. Tomorrow will be a brighter day; a day for second chances.