I've never been more humiliated in my life. I look at Macie, who looks mortified and over at Preston, who looks like he's about to murder her. I guess because she is letting the alcohol flow through her veins and alter her brain, she doesn't stop there. She looks at Preston as she speaks this time. "At least when me and you were fucking I had the decency to take birth control, so you didn't have a bastard child in a family that thrives on a perfect reputation, but then you were always extra careful with the rest of us.”
She looks from Preston back to me. “I didn't even get as much time as the rest of them, because I'm not blonde like you. I got one time with him, and then he moved on to girls that could become you in his mind; a filler or substitute until he got you. Did he tell you that? Did he tell you that when he comes with someone else, he calls out your name? Not all of us can be the perfect Kinzleigh Baker."
I slap her, hard. I didn't plan it, it just happened. It was like a reflex when I heard her say those things, especially that about my child. I won’t tolerate anyone calling him a bastard child. No one talks about my family that way. I may have to answer to the consequences of conceiving my child outside of marriage, but my child doesn't deserve to be spoken of that way when it isn’t his fault. Breyson deserves more than that. Wait a minute. It just clicked. I look at Preston and he doesn't look happy. In fact, the look on his face as he looks at her is terrifying. If she was looking at him instead of boring a hole in my head, she might back off. "Is she the one you lost your virginity to?"
His eyes relax a little when he looks me in the eyes. It's more of a guilt that takes the place. Maybe, because of what happened between her, Breyson, and me at Presley's pool party last year. I don't understand what I did to her. "It was a long time ago, Kinzleigh," he says in a hushed tone.
Why does this woman have to be involved with every man I actually begin to have deep feelings for. I remember the words that came from Preston's mouth. When I lost my virginity, it was the first girl that took an interest in me sexually and she was nothing like you. Has she been plotting some kind of evil revenge on me since the beginning? I feel so hurt right now. I have done nothing to deserve her hatred. I look back and she is holding the side of her face in a stunned manner.
She begins to move closer to me in a way to intimidate someone. "How does it feel to know you get my seconds for once. Hand-me-downs don't feel so good, do they? I narrow my eyes in anger. It's sad really. Maybe, she's gone crazy. I'm about to just tell her the truth when someone speaks behind me.
"I advise you to walk the fuck away, Lexi. When you mess with Kinzleigh, you mess with my family. I protect what's mine. You're about to place yourself in a man's shoes. Are you sure you want to do that?" I haven't heard that voice in so long. It's like a trigger to things that have been locked away lately, but it's also like coming home. Ryland.
Chapter 22
Kinzleigh
Lexi stares behind me and begins backing away. "Fine. I said my piece. I just did what the rest of the girls around here have wanted to do, but didn't have the backbone to do it." She turns and walks away, leaving me to remain in the pool of embarrassment she threw me in.
The band is still playing, but the sea of people that surround us is staring as if it's the most interesting thing that's happened all night. I hate drama. I always have and always will. It's the one reason I'm glad high school is over. The sad thing is people like Lexi will probably never change.
"Kinzleigh, are you okay?" A hand rests on top of my shoulder from behind. My shoulders fall and I close my eyes. I can't explain what hearing his voice does to me. He's the closest thing I have left of Breyson, because he's where it all began. I haven't seen Ryland in a year. I don't know what to expect when I turn around. Anything could happen with my emotions.
I make a 180-degree turn until I'm standing face to face with Ryland. He's standing before me in a swimsuit with water beads all over his body. His body looks more fit than I remember and his hair is shorter. The blonde curls are no longer present. He no longer looks like a high school kid. He now looks like a man.
My eyes lock with his and that's when I recognize it; hurt. His demeanor is completely off. Ryland was always the fun loving, goofy kid. That was what drew you to him as a friend. He liked to have fun and he didn't care what anyone else thought. The serious vibe he is giving off is just...wrong. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
"I'm okay. How are you? It's been a while..." For a second I'm taken back to that week last summer of the four of us hanging out at his pool house. It seems like so long ago, yet it seems like just yesterday. It's funny how that works.
He pulls me in for a hug against his damp chest. I assume he's been surfing; he always was. "Why don't we go someplace we can talk?"
"Okay," I say and can feel Preston getting closer. It's then I remember that we aren't alone. We can't talk openly here. It's weird, but it feels like Breyson is something that we share, our secret even though it's not a secret at all. I feel ashamed that I never thought to call and check on him. Braxton and Briar had each other, but who did Ryland have? Has he been dealing with Breyson's death alone? They were so close I feel selfish that all I worried about was my suffering and misery.
"She's not leaving my side," Preston says stepping in closer.
"Do I need to give y'all some privacy?" Macie's voice finally brings me back to the present. Crap, I forgot she was here. That is so rude. Everything that has just happened has me in a head spin.
Ryland and I look at her at the same time. I guess her southern accent sticks out in California. It's one you don't hear that often. "And you are," he asks as he scans her body. The look in his eyes is one of pure male hunger and lust. I've seen that look before. It was the way Breyson used to look at me.
Hold the phone. Why is this just now occurring to me? This could have been really awkward. How do they not know each other? I look between the two as they stare at each other. What do I do? Oh my gosh, I have no idea what to do. This completely goes against the grain of the original plan. "This is..." I'm stumbling over my words. "Well, she's..."
"I'm Lauren." She holds out her hand at Ryland. "I'm just a friend Kinzleigh met along the way. I came to visit for a few days."
A cocky smirk begins to unfold on his face. He takes hold of her small hand in his. "My friends call me Rye. It's always good to hear an accent from my parts." This is completely and utterly the strangest thing I've ever been involved in. It's like knowing something top secret, but being scared to voice it aloud to someone else.
"I thought she was..." My head whips in his direction as the words tumble out of his mouth. I feel like I'm trying to catch a falling vase before it shatters. This information could be disastrous. It may be wrong to keep it to myself, but that's something I'll have to live with. She doesn't need anything else thrown at her right now.
"She is staying for a week, babe. Lauren is here until next Sunday." I hope he gets the emphasis on her name as I stare daggers at him. Preston is clearly confused, but refrains from saying anything more.
"Why don't I show you around, Lauren. I'm sure Kinzleigh doesn't mind if I borrow you for a while. I'll return you safe and sound." They are still staring at each other. I notice Macie is starting to blush, or maybe it's the heat. I have an eerie feeling about this. Should I make up some kind of excuse?
I'm plotting something together, but when I see the smile on Macie's face it all comes crashing down. It's the first time I've ever seen her smile. Maybe it's wrong to let her go off blind with Beau's brother and him with Beau's girlfriend, but it's not in me to take away the one ounce of happiness I've seen on her. What can possibly happen in one night anyway?
Macie looks at me as if she's waiting for my opinion. "It's okay. Go have fun. You deserve it," I say with a small smile of encouragement. "Rye will take care of you." Her smile gets a little more pronounced.
I keep thinking every second that they are together, this big, invisible elephant in the room is going to show itsel
f, but it doesn't. More questions definitely need to be asked before she goes back home. He begins pulling her away from the crowd when I yell, "Do I need to wait for her or are you bringing her to our house?"
"I'll get her home; text me the address. Don't wait up." The turn of events has me dizzy. I'm not even in the mood to hear the bands anymore. I haven't even seen Presley and usually she makes herself known wherever she goes. Where is she? "Oh, Kinzleigh," he calls out as he continues walking, but now backwards. "We still need to talk. I'll call you and we'll come up with the details."
In no more time than it took me to nod I watch their retreating forms disappear into the crowd of people. Preston turns me to face him. "I'm sorry about Lexi. I don't know what her problem is, but I never expected her to act like that. If I would have known anything like this was going to happen I would've told you who it was. I didn't think that mattered at the time."
For what it's worth he looks a little worried. That makes it a little better. I'm actually surprised I didn't have a panic attack. It seems like they are starting to get better and less frequent as time goes by. I'm finally able to control them again. "It's fine. It's not like it's your fault. I never asked for a name anyway." I begin to stare off unintentionally.
"What's on your mind?" He twirls a lock of my hair around his finger as his eyes settle on my lips.
"I was just thinking; I don't really want to stay here anymore. Do you want to go see a movie? We could even stop for ice cream on the way home." I look up at him from underneath my lashes as I wrap my arms around his waist. My arms are stretched, because of my protruding stomach getting in the way between us.
"It sounds like a brilliant idea. I'm always ready when it comes to spending time with you." He kisses the middle of my forehead and brushes the tip of his nose down mine. Linking my hand in his we walk hand in hand down the beach in the direction of where we parked.
It's a summer night, but something in the air shifts. I can't explain it, but the only thing I can compare it to is when you can sense a storm coming. It's a strange feeling and one that leaves me uneasy. I look over at Preston, but he looks completely at peace. I can't help but to think that something is about to happen.
The water is calm and everyone in passing is laughing and having a good time. Maybe I'm just letting Lexi's poisonous attitude get to me. I just need a change of scenery and everything will go back to the way it was, because nothing in my life is ever normal.
***
The garage opens and Preston drives the car inside. It's late, but for some reason I'm not tired like I usually am. The light comes on as the garage door closes back into place. He grabs the grocery bag full of our favorite ice cream and we exit the car.
I stand at the door waiting on him to unlock the door to the house. "Why don't you go get comfortable and I'll bring up our ice cream, okay?"
"Okay," I say and leave him to disable the alarm. Walking into the bedroom I open the drawer full of my pajamas and begin shuffling through its contents. It's probably the only clothes I have unpacked in our bedroom from the stuff Mom shipped. Something white catches my attention peeking out from the bottom. I'm not known to be the most organized person. My sleep clothes are just dumped in my drawer instead of being folded.
I grab ahold of it and pull it through the clothes buried on top of it. When I get it out I realize what it is and my hearts plummets to my stomach. It's Breyson's shirt that I've slept in on many occasions since his death and it's never been washed; at least, I don't think it has.
I hold it to my nose and breathe in, letting the fragrance permeate. I can still smell his cologne; although faint, it's still there. As the smell lingers in the depths of my nostrils the memory comes back of that day in my room where he left it, before we left for the airport. It's crazy how that happens. One familiar smell and memories you've worked hard to keep suppressed for your sanity are unlocked with no effort at all.
"You can wear it if you want to." His voice startles me. I throw it back in the drawer and look in the mirror. Preston is standing just inside the door with two bowls full of ice cream.
I slide off my linen pants and toss them in the hamper. "I don't know how that got in there. I guess Mom found it in my room and sent it with the rest of my pajamas." My words come out jumbled together.
He walks toward me and sets the bowls down on top of the dresser. "Kinzleigh, it's okay to still be sad sometimes when a memory resurfaces or you find something that reminds you of someone you loved. I've seen you do it with Grams throughout the years since her passing and this is no different."
He grabs the bottom hem of my tee shirt and pulls it over my head. In one motion he reaches behind me and unclasps my bra. He searches my eyes. "I told you when you came here that I knew you would have bad days and that I would help you through them. Do I like that you loved someone before me, no, but can it happen, yes. If I didn't believe whole heartedly that the heart can love more than once I wouldn't have still asked you to be mine."
He hooks his finger under the strap that rests on my shoulder, pulling it down my arm until it falls to the floor. "If you want to wear it, then wear it. If it helps you on the days you miss him, then I'm okay with it. That's part of loving someone; selflessness."
Reaching in the drawer, he pulls the shirt back out and places it over my head. All I can do is stare at the man before me as I place my arms in the appropriate holes, letting the shirt fall. It's snugger than the last time I wore it, but still fits loosely. "I'm just asking you not to hide anything from me, or lie to me. We're a team. When you hurt, I hurt and when you're happy, I'm happy. Got it?"
With every coming day he tugs on my heartstrings more than the day before. I've always loved Preston as a friend and a brother, but it's quickly turning into something so much more. I guess there is something to be said about a person that takes time to be your friend first and stand by you even when you're mourning the loss of someone else.
He leans in and kisses me. "Come on, let's go watch movies and stuff ourselves full of ice cream before it melts. We can share and then have two flavors instead of one." He holds up his fingers to emphasize two with a big grin on his face. It makes me laugh.
"Who said I wanted to share my rainbow sherbet?" I grab my bowl full off of the dresser and begin backing away. He knows I'm teasing, but not by the expression on my face. I've always had an expert poker face when I wanted to, as my dad would say, never giving anything away. He picks up his bowl of mint chocolate chip and begins moving forward like an animal getting ready to pounce.
"I can make you share." He gets a heated look in his eyes. Oh... my.
I dip my spoon in the bowl and scoop out a spoon full. Turning it face down, I place it in my mouth and seductively inch the spoon out, wiping it clean. I close my eyes. "Mmmmm," I moan as the fruity flavored ice cream coats my tongue.
When I open them he is standing right in front of me, face almost touching mine. I didn't even hear him walking. He tilts his head to the side a mere inch and closes his lips in on mine. I haven't even had a chance to swallow the ice cream when he slips his tongue between the split of my lips. His tongue begins playing with mine, mingling in the cold liquid remaining in my mouth.
A throaty groan sounds as he grabs my breast through the fabric of the shirt. He pulls free, breaking the connection between the two of us. My breathing has turned heavy. He licks his lips, making me want more. "I know what you're doing. It's not going to work. You're the sexiest damn woman I've ever laid my eyes on and my dick will probably hate me, but luckily I am a strong man. When I say I want something, I don't stop until I get it and I'm a patient man. I won't bury myself inside you until after your doctor’s appointment."
My mouth drops slightly. That cocky little bastard. I knew he was still buried somewhere down in there under all that caring and sweetness. He shoves his spoon filled with mint chocolate chip ice cream in my mouth. I close my lips around it and he pulls the clean spoon from my mouth, before he kisses me on the ed
ge of the lips. "See, sharing isn't so bad," he says and walks to the bed, continuing to eat his ice cream.
What exactly just happened here? I'm really not even sure. Did I just get played in my own game? Damn him. I really need to work harder, because I'm seriously lacking a much needed skill. I turn around and he is sitting in the middle of the bed pigging out on his ice cream. He is staring straight ahead at the television that he hasn't even powered on yet. His lips are pursed together tightly in between bites.
He knows I'm at a disadvantage and the little twerp thinks it's funny. It's kind of hard not to find the humor in the situation. I guess I did set myself up for that. The smile I'm trying really hard to hold back breaks free and I start to laugh; a laugh that quickly becomes uncontrollable. It's the hardest I've laughed in a really long time.
Apparently it's contagious as well, because he almost spits ice cream when he bursts into laughter after me. I find my flip flop on the floor beside me and pick it up. I throw it at him. It catches him off guard, causing him to have to swat in front of his face to knock it off its course to his nose. This, in turn, makes me laugh harder.
Suddenly, I stop cold and my eyes widen in surprise. I can feel my cheeks heating from embarrassment. He jumps up when he takes in my expression. "Kinzleigh? What's wrong?"
I hold up my hands in a stop position, in hopes he won’t come any further. He doesn't get the memo. I begin backing away. I want to crawl under a rock and die. If I can just get to the bathroom maybe he won't notice. My panties are saturated, but I don't feel anything trickling down my leg. "It's nothing, just don't come any closer."
I'm trying to come up with any excuse to get him out of here. "Kinzleigh, tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me. Is the baby okay?"
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