Hidden Desire

by David Horne

  “Hidden Desire”

  M/M Gay Romance

  David Horne

  © 2019

  David Horne

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This book is intended for Adults (ages 18+) only. The contents may be offensive to some readers. It may contain graphic language, explicit sexual content, and adult situations. May contain scenes of unprotected sex. Please do not read this book if you are offended by content as mentioned above or if you are under the age of 18.

  Please educate yourself on safe sex practices before making potentially life-changing decisions about sex in real life. If you’re not sure where to start, see here: http://www.jerrycoleauthor.com/safe-sex-resources/ (courtesy of Jerry Cole).

  This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Products or brand names mentioned are trademarks of their respective holders or companies. The cover uses licensed images and are shown for illustrative purposes only. Any person(s) that may be depicted on the cover are simply models.

  Edition v1.00 (2019.11.18)

  http://www.DavidHorneauthor.com

  Special thanks to the following volunteer readers who helped with proofreading: Dave C., Penny T., RB, Naomi W., Jennie, JayBee and those who assisted but wished to be anonymous. Thank you so much for your support.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter One

  Lance

  “Tell me why we’re going to this game again, Olivia?” I teased my best friend as we headed through the crowd to the stadium that housed the college hockey games. We were both lucky enough to attend Penn State, and the team was at the upper end of the standings.

  “I told you that my friend Polly has a guy that plays on the team. She invited me, and I figured why not? I knew you’d get a rush from seeing these strapping young men out there.” She grinned at me and her bright blue eyes twinkled. She was the first friend I’d come out to after getting close to her in my senior year. She moved to Pennsylvania from Minnesota to live with her mom after her parent’s divorce, and we connected instantly. I listened to her talk about the divorce, and she heard me out on things I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else.

  “They are hot as hell,” I agreed as I opened the door for her and several other people. I shook my head and looked through the crowd to find Olivia’s chocolate brown hair. She looked a bit like everyone else, but I saw a hand wave up into the air from the right, leading me to her. I walked over, and she pointed out where Polly was holding our seats. We headed right across the crowd and walked down some steps to seats a few rows back from a bench where a few men in hockey uniforms stood. I ran a hand through my tousled black hair and sat down as Olivia introduced me to Polly. I gave her a broad smile and reached for her hand, kissing it gently. Polly blinked at me and tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear as she pulled back from me.

  “This guy isn’t straight? What a waste.” She sighed, and I chuckled along with Olivia.

  “Which one is yours?” I asked Polly as she glanced at me. She pointed to the bench, and I looked down to see a tall guy speaking to the team, using hand gestures as he made his point.

  “He’s the captain.” I didn’t know just what that meant but assumed that he led the team in some form or another. I didn’t follow any sport too closely, but I loved watching the men playing them. As I watched the teams skating the smooth ice, I decided that hockey players were right up there with rugby players. What can I say? I took care of myself and enjoyed men that did the same. I just found that being gay wasn’t announced over the loudspeakers at most events and usually settled for the guys I met at the local college bar.

  We were twenty-one. Life was all about having a good time while we finished school.

  I watched as the guys shot something into the goal before the game, listening as Polly explained it to Olivia. They were hitting a puck across the ice, and the general idea was to get it into the net with some shit happening in between the shots on the goal. I could enjoy it and lean back as everyone headed back to the benches. We were seated behind the home team. I could get used to this view.

  I found myself drawn into the game. I grew up on the east coast and didn’t know why I never watched hockey before now. I messed around with a few football players that were secretly curious but never considered a hockey player. They were both muscular and skilled the way they handled everything out there on slick ice. The game was exciting, and I found myself yelling with everyone when our team scored. Polly screamed and stood, raising her hands in the air as her boyfriend glanced our way. I noticed the one that seemed to be around to help with goals the most and was also hot with his long dark-blonde hair and muscular body.

  The game ended with a big win and an ecstatic crowd. There were screams and cheering as people slowly filtered out of the building. We followed Polly, and she turned to us as we found a spot near the entrance. “The guys always go to a bar in town. Want to join me?”

  “Frank’s?” I asked as she shook her head and glanced around.

  “It’s called The Table. Kind of a dive but the team generally gets left alone there.” Her voice was low, and I looked at Olivia.

  “What do you think?” I asked as she seemed to consider her answer. She was the better person of the two of us and had an early class in the morning.

  “For a while?” I saw her smile and nodded. Olivia was trying to compromise, and I appreciated that. We followed Polly out to the parking lot where she told us where the bar was before heading to our cars. Olivia drove tonight, so I knew I’d be leaving when she did unless something else came along to cause me to stay.

  We walked into the bar, and I looked around. It was a dive, but it offered the same thing every other bar did. There was a long bar in the center of the room, a couple of pool tables, and some TVs set up at various angles. A loud rock song played through the room, and another search came up with a small table that was currently empty. I followed the girls to the bar, and we ordered some drinks before settling in the booth. Polly sipped her cocktail and glanced around as her cheeks flushed pink.

  The door opened, and we all looked over as guys walked into the bar in groups. The team was here, and a cheer rang out through the room. Polly straightened up and smiled as she stood up, walking over to embrace her boyfriend. I could see the presence that he had within the team as they gazed at him with proud faces. He held Polly for a moment before kissing her. “They’re cute,” Olivia said as I glanced at her.

  “Do you see anything you like here?” Olivia blushed. She broke up with a guy a month ago and wasn’t jumping back into the dating pool.

  “Sure. They’re all hot, but I don’t know about meeting someone. Everything was hard with Tyler and how that ended.” She shrugged, and I saw how vulnerable my best friend was at this moment. She was a sweet girl that wore her heart on her sleeve and sometimes, it bit her in the ass. I glanced over to see the guy I was eying on the ice lean over t
he bar and order something, taking in his ass in the slacks that he wore. Damn. I wish he were gay.

  Eventually, a few of the guys came over with Polly to sit down. I noted that Dane, the guy I was interested in, was one of them. He sat across the booth beside Polly and her boyfriend, James. He nursed a beer and chatted about the game and his last year of college. He was a sports medicine major and seemed to be serious about having a backup plan, despite the way James swore he’d be picked up for the pros. I sat back, sipping my gin and tonic as I thought about the degree I was getting in marketing. I knew that I could do a lot with it and had connections in the area. It just seemed like a smaller dream than some of the others had at the table.

  I hated the insecurities I faced during my weaker moments.

  Dane said something, and I blinked as I looked at him. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “How long have you two been together?” He asked, gesturing between Olivia and me.

  “Oh, we’re friends. Nothing more.” Olivia laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Best friends, but completely platonic,” I stressed as I met Dane’s stormy gray eyes. He nodded and looked at me for a long moment before taking a long sip of beer. Olivia nudged my foot under the table, and I shot her a dark look.

  Chapter Two

  Dane

  Lance was an interesting guy. I didn’t sense that he was here to find a woman for the night when we met. He stayed beside Olivia’s side, and that was why I asked about them. I’m a naturally curious person by nature, and I got my answer when he gave me that look at the end of the conversation. He was into men, at least along with women.

  I left that night after only one beer. If I was going to get picked up by the pros, I needed to stay disciplined. I worked out early in the gym every other day with the team and ran every single morning. I was in the best shape of my life and playing well.

  I also determined that I was gay in high school. Being one of the star players, I got attention from a lot of women. I slept with some since it seemed to be expected but felt nothing. I managed to work through it enough to please them, but I wasn’t aroused and left wanting more. I ended up at a party after graduation, drunk and confused about every aspect of my life apart from hockey. It was that night that I shared my first kiss with another guy. It’s blurry, but we started talking and ended up in a bedroom, making out. He was visiting some relatives from New York and tagged along with a cousin to the party. The feel of his lips against mine made me feel an instant attraction, and I let my hands roam over his body.

  We didn’t have sex that night and parted ways without ever seeing each other again. In college, I found room to experiment. I kept a specific front for the team though I never slept with puck bunnies to back it up. I couldn’t do it and had flings with men under the radar. I wasn’t ashamed of it. I just wasn’t ready to have my life out there yet and only told my mom and sister. Since dad died ten years ago in a robbery, it was the three of us against the world. They accepted every part of me, and Mom encouraged me to be true to myself. I figured college was where you got to know yourself, and I was spreading myself around between hockey, classes, and guys. It was a busy life.

  I headed to the apartment that I shared with a couple of the guys, taking a taxi to be safe. I drove to the game with Mike, but he always partied well into the night. I was the first one home, and I headed to my room to change into shorts and a t-shirt. I dropped back on the mattress after setting an early alarm and thought about Lance.

  He was tall and built with dark tousled hair. His skin was pale, but it complemented his shimmering green eyes that reminded me of emeralds. They were intense and told me so much in just one gaze. I could see that while he adored Olivia, he wanted me. I glanced down at my cock that wanted to join the party. I stroked it over the shorts in the dark, giving in and slipping my hand under the waistband. I stroked slowly, closing my eyes as the pressure started to build in my groin. I groaned as I shot cum into the cotton, closing my eyes as I breathed in.

  I cleaned up in the bathroom, and changed into new shorts, determined to get some sleep.

  I rose early and left the house for a run as the sun was rising. The air was fresh as the city came to life and I breathed it in before heading down a street in the neighborhood. I had one earbud in and played some rock music as I jogged steadily over the pavement. I kept thinking about Lance, aware that my attraction to him was stronger than it had been with anybody else. I knew there was interest at his end as well and wondered what I should do about it.

  I switched my thoughts to the workout I’d be doing in a couple of hours. The guys were meeting me there, and I planned to push myself today. I wanted to be the best I could be when starting with the NHL, so I’d have a better chance. New guys were known to sit out a lot of games and be a backup player, and I wanted to avoid that. It wasn’t a death sentence to your career, and many players rose above it in incredible ways. I wanted to go in well.

  I ran for ten miles and jumped in the shower as my roommates slowly rose for the day. They were going to the gym despite looking a little worse for wear, but I admired their dedication. We drove in my car, and I sipped my water with electrolytes on the way at stoplights. I was feeling good and grinned at the guys in the team gym as we greeted one another in our ways. I was closer to some of the guys more than others, but we worked as a team. James was one of them, and I knew I could ask him about Polly’s friends. He might ask me some questions, but he was one of the few that knew I was gay. He was accepting of that, and if I acted respectably in my life, he was cool with whatever I did. Shaming the team was a big mistake, and it could ruin my future faster than anything else.

  I went to work out my legs with him, and we upped the weight on the press. I wanted to go all the way, and he sat beside me on his machine as I sucked in my breath. I pushed as a song by Alice in Chains blared over the speakers, feeling the sting in my muscles. I started working out as soon as I was in sports, knowing that it was a great habit to get into. I kept up with it. “Damn, Dane. Great job. You’re going to be unstoppable.”

  “I hope so.” I smiled as I looked around, deciding what to do next. I already did my run, but I could ride the bike for a bit. Arms were tomorrow’s workout. We showered quickly when we finished, and James asked if anyone wanted to grab lunch. I agreed, and we went to our favorite corner deli, filling the room as we ordered. Like the bar, it was low key, and the regulars here kept our presence under the radar. I got a sandwich and sat beside James at the table as he checked his phone. “Polly?” I asked, and he shook his head slowly.

  “Yep. She’s nuts.” I could see how much he liked her and appreciated it. A lot of guys my age were all about easy pussy, but James was serious about his girlfriend. We all went through that phase for the most part, but he was always more focused on his game. Even now, he focused on the team as he made her feel like the only woman in the world. “You left early last night.”

  “I’m a good boy. Remember?” I unwrapped my lunch and took a bite as James chuckled. We chatted with the other guys and left, discussing plans tonight since we didn’t have practice until tomorrow. I wanted to know where Dane was, but I hesitated to ask as some of the guys left to play some pool. “So, Polly and some friends are at a small party tonight. Low key. Want to come along?” James asked as I pretended to think about it.

  “Like a house thing?” He nodded, and I ran a hand through my damp hair. “Yeah. Why not?”

  We were showered and dressed in jeans and our team sweatshirts, so he told me to follow him. I hopped into my Charger and started the engine, revving it as I grinned. This was my dream car, and Mom agreed to it with the money Dad left us, knowing how hard I worked through the years. I watched as James pulled his GMC out of the parking lot and followed him down the street, wondering who was going to be there tonight. I wasn’t ready to talk about Lance yet, but I did want to feel the situation out.

  I was nervous as we headed up the walkway and James rapped on the doo
r. A guy opened it, and he greeted James with a smile as he welcomed us inside. There was a big living room that had about fifteen people gathered in it, sitting on couches and at tables. My eyes scanned the faces, seeing Polly’s red hair as she threw herself into James’ arms before they kept moving. I saw brown hair and searched closer as I heard Lance’s laugh, feeling myself relax.

  I grabbed my one beer from the fridge and decided that I’d make my way over to Olivia and Lance. They were with a couple of other people, and I noticed that Lance was staring at me as I turned to face the crowd. I smiled, and he glanced away as I cracked open the can. He grabbed Olivia’s arm as I approached them, and she looked at me with wide eyes. “Hi. Olivia and Lance?” I asked, pretending that I remembered them from the night before.

  “Yes. Hi. It’s Dane?” She asked, extending her hand to me as I took it.

  “It is. How are you?” I looked at the available seats and chose one beside Lance that was close enough to still talk to Olivia. He sipped his drink and looked at me for a moment as curiosity washed over his face. “Did you like the game?” I asked them as Olivia shot Lance a look.

  “It was great. We’re both new to the sport, but it’s exciting. I’m assuming that you’re one of the better players?” She smiled, and I shrugged one shoulder in a gentle motion.

  “I do all right,” I said as Lance raised a brow and looked at me.

  “I saw you on that ice. It was flawless,” he said, and I leaned back with interest. “They were all saying that you’re going to the pros at the bar.”

  “Hopefully. That’s the plan.” I replied, and our eyes locked as warmth flooded me. I felt the connection and kept my eyes locked to his for a moment before looking away. I needed to take this slow and determine his comfort level, as well as mine. We could talk here and go from there.