“How should I know?” It comes out harsher than I intended.
Katie lowers her head and I’m officially the shittiest person.
“I saw him this morning in Theology,” I offer.
She nods but doesn’t say anything else.
Jesus, how could this day get any worse?
“Hernandez!”
I pull myself out of the water, hair dripping into my eyes.
“Now you’re just starting to p— Tick me off.” Coach Schmidt waddles his way over to me. “That’s the worst lap time you’ve ever had. What’s going on?”
“I-I pulled a muscle,” I lie. I should probably be worried I’m getting so good at it.
Coach grunts in my direction, marking something on his clipboard that makes me feel self-conscious. Maybe I’ve already peaked at sixteen, and the rest of my athletic career is just a sad downhill slope, ending with a botched deal to get my face on a box of cereal.
“Is everything okay, Chris?” he asks without looking away from his work.
“Yes, sir.”
“Nothing going on at home?”
“No, sir.”
“Girl problems?”
I actually have to keep myself from laughing.
“Definitely not, sir.”
“Well, whatever’s going on here, you need to solve it and get your head outta the sky and into the pool. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He gives me a slap on the shoulder and moves on to the next lane.
I stare at the water, watching small waves lap against the walls. Swimming has always been easy for me. It’s simple. No thought required. I can lose myself in the motions and coast.
So, what changed?
“Hey, Mike!”
Davy jogs up to me, blond hair slicked down with water. A towel hangs around his neck and lips spread in a smile.
It’s a struggle to keep my eyes above the waist.
“H-hey.” I take a step back because he feels too close.
“How’s it going?”
“It’s fine.” I grab my own towel from the bench wrapping it around my exposed body. I just feel like I need a barrier between us.
“I heard Schmidt-head laying into you pretty hard,” Davy says.
“Yeah.” I shuffle my feet in the puddle of water beneath me. “Guess I’m not all here today.”
“He can be a real dick sometimes.” Davy throws a glance over his shoulder. “And I for one would like to know just what exactly qualified him to coach. I doubt that man has ever swam a lap without needing an oxygen tank waiting on the side of the pool.”
The image of Coach Schmidt floundering around the pool like some deranged sea cow pops into my head. I can’t help the giggles.
“You’re picturing it right now, aren’t you?” Davy chuckles along with me. “I mean, the guy looks like Danny DeVito fucked a midget and he popped out nine months later, holding that same clipboard.”
The giggles are full-blown laughter now.
“There,” he says and gives me a pat on the shoulder, “I like this look on you a lot more. You aren’t one for sullen expressions.”
A whistle blows from behind us, and Davy sheds his towel.
“The midget spawn beckons.” He gives me one last smile, then dives into the pool.
I watch him for just a moment, memorizing how his body slices through the water.
Operation Ignore Chris has been going beautifully all week, and I’m starting to think he gets the idea. By Friday, he doesn’t even look at me as we pass in the hallway, just keeps his head down and keeps moving like the rest of us.
Good. He’ll be much safer that way.
And bonus. That guilty feeling I’ve been dealing with gets a little more bearable every day. So that’s good.
I think.
“What’s the movie choice tonight?” Tanner asks as we step into the blazing sun outside the school.
“I don’t care,” Jackie whines. “After that fucking Algebra quiz, I’ll watch anything as long as I’m stoned out of my mind.”
“All right, Mike,” Tanner leans over and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “We both heard her. She has forfeited her right to complain about our movie choice.”
“I swear to God, Tanner,” Jackie says and swings at his shoulder but misses, “if you make me watch the Matrix one more time, I’m going to just unplug myself.”
“What a perk. I’ll get it queued.”
“Fine then.” Jackie pulls me away from him. “Mike is riding with me, so he can’t be influenced by your sadist tendencies.” She strokes the back of my hand. “Someone has to make sure he stays pure and unchaste in the eyes of the Lord.”
She probably thinks I’m laughing at her absurdity, but it’s really because I’m wondering if she knows where that hand has been.
“And you think you’re a better influence than me?” Tanner, lowers his glasses to look down at her. “Are you going to teach him how to jerk off under a raincoat on the back of the church bus?”
“Touché.” Jackie releases her hold on me.
“Mom, Dad, stop fighting,” I tell them, batting my eyelashes. “It only hurts the children.”
“Jesus.” Jackie laughs, opening her driver’s door. “What a fucked-up family we’d make.”
“Is it any worse than the real ones?” Tanner asks, leaning against the trunk.
We take a moment before shaking our heads.
“I’d be okay being related to you two,” I tell them.
“Speak for yourself,” Tanner says in all seriousness. “I enjoy being an only child, thank you.”
“Same here,” Jackie chimes in. “Then again, sometimes I do feel the urge to annoy the shit out of someone, and I guess that’s what family’s really for. Just don’t come looking if you need a kidney. Now, Gweny here and I will see you at tu casa.”
“What, who’s Gweny?” I ask.
“And what’s that about two croissants?” Tanner joins.
I reel on him. “You’re joking right? How many times have you been to my house, Tan? You haven’t picked up any Spanglish from Dad’s blathering?”
He just shrugs. “I thought she was talking about flaky pastries. Now, I’m hungry.”
I can only blink at him.
“Anyway…” Jackie leans into the car to crank it. “I changed my mind. Winnie is out, and Gweny is in. Gwendolyn just rolls off the tongue….”
“Funny,” Tanner says as he squints his eyes, “she doesn’t look like a car from the nineteen-twenties.”
“Hardy har-har.” She climbs in, lowering the window. “Don’t spend too much time making out, you two. I have a long week to forget.”
“We’ll keep it short.” Tanner bangs on the top of the car. “Try not to run over any little old ladies.”
“Do I look like Taylor?”
I’m still laughing as she drives away, blaring some old-timey Broadway number about a modern major general. Whatever that is.
Tanner’s SUV isn’t far, but I feel like I’ve been baked by the time we climb in.
“We’re not actually going to make us watch that movie again, are you?”
“Et tu, Michael?” Tanner cranks the car, hot air blasting through the vents.
“Oh, I see.” I draw the belt across my lap, fastening it. “You know Latin, but no Spanish.”
“That’s what a private education affords me. I can learn a dead language for only forty thousand a year.” He plugs his phone into the aux cord and starts one of his infamous dub-step playlists. I’m sure to have a headache by the time we reach his house.
We ride for a few minutes before he speaks, raising his voice over the music.
“So, I heard an interesting rumor today.” Tanner pushes his glasses up his nose.
“And what’s that?” I inquire, adjusting the vent closest to me. There’s not enough air conditioning in the world.
“It’s about Chris,” he says.
At this point, you’d t
hink my heart would have burst out of my chest. But it holds tight, ricocheting off my ribs.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah.” We turn onto Roswell road, traffic coming to a halt. “I was gonna say something earlier, but Jackie seems to be a taking a shining to him, so I didn’t want to invoke her wrath.”
“Smart choice,” I reply, stomach tighter than a pair of skinny jeans.
“Now, keep in mind, I heard this little bit of gossip from Tabby, so there is a fifty-fifty chance it’s true.”
Of course, it was that trash mouth. She is quickly becoming my least favorite person.
“So, what did she say?”
“Well, you know the story about how he got the black eye,” he starts, “but rumor has it that it really was a fight with his old man. And the topic of their quarrel? Apparently, Chris is gay.”
My pulse hits light speed. The edges of my vision are starting to blur a bit. Isn’t that what happens right before you faint? A metallic taste in my mouth makes me want to gag.
“And what makes her say that?”
“Tabby was in his class when he and Redford went toe to toe over the school policy,” he continues, oblivious to the fact I can’t fucking breathe. “She says things got pretty heated.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” I try to play down the situation. “I was there too. Chris just seemed to be pointing out facts. Totally neutral.”
Except, he wasn’t. He was enraged and doing a poor job of trying to keep it under the surface. And Tabby might be an idiot, but she’s an idiot with observational skills and a knack for spilling secrets. She’ll be a great politician one day.
“Like I said,” Tanner says as we turn onto a side street. “Tabby’s info isn’t always the most reliable. I just found this bit to be especially interesting, given Chris’s situation with his dad.”
“I wouldn’t read too much into it,” I mutter, finding it more and more difficult to speak around the lump lodged in my throat.
“Surprisingly, I’m hoping this one isn’t true.” Tanner lowers the volume of the screeching music. “I can’t imagine Mr. Myers would tolerate his son doing that kind of thing.”
That kind of thing.
Those words hurt more than the time I broke my wrist riding Tanner’s mountain bike when I was nine. He picked me up and carried me all the way back to the house, not complaining a single word.
Tanner’s always been that way. Sure, he’s nosy and gossips a bit too much, but that’s because he cares, and he’s my brother. Maybe even more so than Tommy. He and Jackie are the family I got to choose. We tell each other everything.
Well, mostly everything.
Tanner readjusts the volume and I stare out the window, trying to blink away the threat of tears. When we pull into his driveway, Jackie’s waiting on us, perched on the trunk of her car.
“What took so long?” she complains. “Did you two strangle a drifter together?”
“You must be psychic,” Tanner calls, bounding up the stoop. “What am I thinking now?”
“You’re imagining a threesome with Trinity and Neo from the Matrix.” She chases him, flinging the door wide open.
“Bingo!” he shouts from inside.
They already act like brother and sister, despite their hesitation to draw the similarities. They’re my best friends, and that makes them family. My best friends, and I can’t even tell them I’m hurting.
I could tell them. I could tell them right here, right now. Just throw myself over that boundary, never to look back again. No turning back.
But there’s a chance I could lose them. I could lose everything. And I’m not ready for that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it.
“Come on, Mike!” Jackie calls. “You’re going to miss me breaking Tan-Tan’s fingers if he even thinks about playing this fucking movie!”
Saturday comes, and I find myself alone in the house.
Mom and Dad had a wedding up in Blue Ridge they couldn’t talk me into tagging along for. Rosy is staying over at a friend’s for the night. So, it’s just me, myself and I.
After I’ve done what every warm-blooded teenage boy would do in a house to himself, I clear my internet history then settle in on the couch—desperately bored. A stack of homework I’m putting off until tomorrow waits upstairs, as well as half a dozen sketches just begging to be finished, but I lack the motivation to focus on any of it.
Tanner and Jackie are busy today, too. How am the only person who doesn’t have some place to be?
So, here I am, flipping through endless channels of shows I don’t care about on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.
A half hour of Food Network later, my phone buzzes. I dig it out, swiping through the message to open it.
Hey, lazy bones. Wanna grab a cup of coffee?2:35pm
I smile at Jackie’s text. Maybe my friends haven’t completely forgot about me.
Thank God. I was seriously contemplating blowing my brains out from boredom.2:35pm
The television shuts off with the click of a button and I start looking for a pair of shoes.
I thought so. I’m already on the way. Don’t tell my mother I’m texting and driving she’ll have a2:36pm
The message ends abruptly. I have a small anxiety attack before my phone buzzes again.
Cow. Sorry, speed bump. I’ll be there in five.2:37pm
I exhale, bending down to grab a pair of sneakers. Locking the door behind me, I sit on the front steps, waiting for my best friend/distracted chauffer.
The coffee shop buzzes with life as Jackie and I step inside, escaping the beating Georgia sun.
“What’s so special about this place?” I ask, looking around. “We passed like a hundred Starbucks on the way here.”
“I dunno,” Jackie replies, brushing a bit of cigarette ash off her jeans. “Chris wanted to meet here.”
“Wait.” I stop in my tracks. “We’re meeting Chris? I thought you said Tanner was going to be here.”
“No.” Jackie keeps moving toward the barista at the counter. “I said I wish Tanner could be here. He always buys my drink for me. Now, I have to spend birthday money. Chris asked me to meet him here. Though I’m not really sure why. Oh my God!” She turns back to me. “What if he’s going to confess his undying love for me?” She makes a swooning motion.
My eyes roll involuntarily. “Why do you just assume everyone is in love with you?”
“Because they are,” she replies, giving me a quick wink before resuming her path to caffeine.
“Not quite,” I mutter under my breath. This is just great. How am I going to ignore him properly without Jackie getting suspicious and asking questions I’d rather she didn’t?
I step up to the counter beside her, snickering as she orders a hot chocolate. She’s a twelve-year-old.
“Extra whipped cream, please.” She hands the barista her debit card. “Hey, Mike. I’m going to go grab that table in the corner. Grab my drink, would ya?”
I nod, and she practically runs across the shop, swooping in to snipe the table from a little old lady. She’s the best.
“Hey, Mike.” Davy stands behind the counter, an apron tied around his waist and a cap covering his blond curls.
“H-hey.” What is he doing here? God, he’s even cuter with clothes on… “What’s up?”
“Just working,” he replies, flashing a row of his pearly whites. “My uncle owns the shop, so I get put to work pretty regularly. Especially on poetry nights.”
“Poetry nights?”
“Oh, yeah.” Davy leans against the counter. “We do poetry readings every other Tuesday.”
“Oh, okay. Cool.” Thank goodness, it’s not today. I don’t love Jackie that much.
Davy leans toward me, and I instinctively take a step back.
“…Did you want to order something?”
“R-right!” I glance up at the menu. “A latte, please.”
I pass him my card.
“Coming right up,”
Our hands brush as he gives me the receipt. He gives me a wink. Or am I imagining that again? Maybe he just has a tick.
“T-thanks,” I stammer, moving down the counter to the ‘pick up’ sign.
Jeez, what a cluster this day is turning into. Why couldn’t I be content with a night of vegging out on the couch?
“Mike?”
I turn to see Chris looking at me like he’s seen a ghost.
“What are you doing here?” he questions.
“Last I checked, this was still a free country,” I answer. “Plus, Jackie invited me. And believe me, I would have declined if I’d known you’d be here.”
“Well isn’t that nice of you to say,” he sneers.
“Look,” I say as I inch closer, so I can lower my voice. “Let’s just through this with as little awkwardness as possible, okay?”
“I don’t see how that’s going to be an option….”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Chris cranes his head. “It’s… I’m going to sit down.”
He stalks away, and heat rises into my cheeks. Why does he make me so upset?
“Mike.”
The woman behind the counter slides two mugs towards me.
I grab the saucers, performing a balancing act as I navigate to the table in the corner.
“—hoping that it would be the two of us.” Chris looks up as I approach. “But it’s not a big deal.”
“What’s so important, Chris?” Jackie asks, taking her mug. The hot chocolate has a mountain of white fluff on top, like some cocoa dusted mountain.
“We’ll get to it,” he says, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. “I’m going to grab a drink.” He leaves the table, but heads for the restrooms, not the counter.
“What’s his deal?” I play dumb.
“Who knows?” Jackie swipes a finger through her whipped cream. “He seems worried you’re here.”
“I can see that.”
“You don’t really think he’s in love with me, do you?”
I suppress a laugh. “Could be.”
“Oh, I hope not.” Jackie fidgets in her chair. “Damn my classic beauty!”
My latte is still scalding as I raise it to my lips. “Fuck, that hurt!”
There Goes Sunday School Page 18