The Summer I Learned to Dive

by McCrimmon, Shannon

  “You,” he said and took another bite of his sandwich. It looked like he winked at me but I wasn’t quite sure.

  “Well, I’m glad you think I’m so humorous.” I took a bite of my sandwich and turned my body in the other direction so I wouldn’t have to face him while I ate. He didn’t respond and didn’t seem to care. We ate the rest of our lunch in silence. He really crawled under my skin.

  ***

  I spent the rest of the day working outside with Jesse. Luckily, we were too busy working to have time to talk, not that we would have said much of anything anyway. I didn’t understand what he found so funny about me and it really bothered me, but I was not about to let him know this.

  My grandparents came home late in the afternoon when Jesse and I were finishing our work. I was exhausted. My arms and hands ached all over. I didn’t know how he had the strength to this on his weekends and work all day for my grandfather every other day.

  “Finn, you look spent,” Nana said, gently touching my sweaty chin. My grandfather stood on the porch with Jesse talking about the house, looking at the progress that had been made.

  “Looks good, Jesse. Guess we’ll have to put a coat of paint on her soon,” he said, touching a beam of wood with his bare hand.

  “Finn was a big help today,” Jesse said, nodding in my direction.

  “Well good. She’s earning her keep then,” he said and laughed.

  I didn’t respond to his sarcasm. I looked at Nana, rolling my eyes at what he had said. “I’m going in to take a shower.”

  “He’s just playing with you, hon. He only teases people he loves. He won’t admit it, but he’s appreciative of your help,” she whispered to me.

  “I wish I could believe you,” I said and walked toward the front door.

  “Finn,” Jesse said, stopping me.

  “Yeah.” I was facing him.

  “Thanks for your help today,” he said and smiled.

  “Sure.” He drove me crazy. All he had to do was smile at me and say something nice and all was forgiven. I was mad at myself for allowing him to affect me so much. What was Jesse to me? Nothing. He was just a really cute guy that I had to be around—a lot—which made it very difficult to ignore him.

  Chapter 9

  My mother sent me another text message. I was receiving one from her every day. They were always the same: “Finn, please come home. We need to talk about this. You can’t shut me out of your life forever. Love, Mom.” The idea of talking to her about it all made me sick. I wanted to avoid it and wished that it would disappear forever but I knew that it wouldn’t. Eventually, I would have to talk with her and I dreaded that. Who knew when that would be? All I knew was that I felt that she had betrayed me. I deleted the message and placed the phone in my pocket.

  I grabbed the picture of my dad and me and sat on the bed, studying it, trying to discover who he was. Since he died when I was two, I don’t have any memories of him. I wish that I did. Year after year, I would ask my mom about him but she didn’t disclose much. She always had vague comments that didn’t really tell me who he was. Her comments were more like, “He loved you. He loved having a daughter.” I wanted to know more, so much more.

  “You have his red hair. Which he inherited from your grandfather,” Nana said entering my room.

  “What was he like, Nana?” I asked, still staring at the picture. She sat down next to me, not answering me for a minute. She looked down in deep thought.

  “Happy and full of life. He could be the life of the party, always wanting to have a good time, no matter the cost,” she said reflectively.

  “What did he want to be?” I asked, looking at her.

  She smiled at me and touched my chin. “He had so many dreams. There were so many things he wanted,” she said, standing up.

  “What were they?”

  “He loved you very much.” She squeezed me gently and took the picture frame out of my hands. She placed it back on the dresser. “Come on and help me make a cherry pie,” she said.

  I started to follow her down the stairs and glanced at the picture of my dad and me one more time before I left the room. I still had so much to learn about my father and hopefully in time, she would tell me.

  ***

  “I need a butcher’s revenge and whistle berries!” I yelled to my grandfather in the kitchen.

  “You’ve gotten really good at that, Finn,” Hannah said.

  “I didn’t think I’d grasp it. I guess working here for almost two weeks has helped.” I smiled. She took a slice of apple pie out of the pie case and carefully placed it on a plate.

  “What are you doing tonight?” she asked.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  “Meg and I are going out. Do you want to come with us?”

  “Sure,” I answered too eagerly. Being invited somewhere by people my age was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to break away from the old Finn and agreeing to hang out with my peers was one way of doing this. I had never had a “girls’ night out.”

  “Great. We’ll leave after work,” she said enthusiastically.

  “Hannah, wait. I don’t have anything to wear but this uniform,” I said staring down at my pink lollipop of an outfit.

  “That’s not a problem. You can borrow something of ours. I’m sure Meg has something cute for you to wear.”

  ***

  Time flew by quickly and before I knew it, it was closing time for the diner. I was anxious to go out with Meg and Hannah. I wanted to get to know them better, to make actual friends. They were always in a good mood and joked around a lot. They always seemed to be having fun. I wondered what we would end up doing, where we would end up going.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Meg said to me. She had her bright yellow purse in her hand and stood by the front door, ready to leave.

  “I need to grab my purse. Hold on,” I said running to the back.

  Jesse stood in the small room, leaning against his locker. He looked at me and nodded. I opened my locker, standing within a few inches of him. I could hear him breathing and felt the heat from his body. Or maybe that was the heat from my body?

  “Are you going out with Hannah and Meg tonight?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said, too afraid to look at him, still staring at the empty locker.

  “Good. That’ll be fun,” he replied and left the room.

  I stood there for a few long seconds, puzzled by his statement and then walked out of the room. Jesse and my grandfather were at the bar talking.

  “Bye, Charlie,” Meg and Hannah said in unison.

  “I’m going out with them tonight,” I said, walking toward the front door.

  “Three girls together, sounds like trouble doesn’t it, Jesse,” he said.

  Jesse shook his head and said, “Yes it does.”

  “You’re so funny,” Hannah said, grinning. She walked out of the front door, and Meg followed.

  “Bye,” I said.

  “Do you need some money?” my grandfather asked. He rummaged through his back pocket and took out his wallet.

  “I’ve got tip money,” I said, tapping my purse.

  He handed me a twenty dollar bill and said, “Here’s some more just in case.”

  “I’m okay, really,” I tried handing the money back to him but he refused to accept it. He shook his head slightly.

  “Just take it,” he commanded. I complied, placing the twenty dollar bill in my purse.”Be careful,” he said and then started talking to Jesse again. It was his way of showing he cared. I wished he’d say what he meant rather than do things like this. We were speaking two different languages and trying to figure out what he was really saying to me was a challenge.

  I walked outside and got into the back of Hannah’s car. There wasn’t much
room for me to sit. It was inundated with books, folders, food wrappers, and soda cans. I had not expected her to be so messy. I made a small place for me to sit and buckled my seat belt. She must have seen my disgusted expression.

  “Sorry it’s so dirty, Finn. Meg and I share this car and she’s a total slob. Most of that stuff is hers,” Hannah said, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

  “That’s not true!” Meg protested. She turned her head, facing me. “My sister exaggerates.”

  “It’s fine,” I lied.

  “Meg just can’t admit that she’s a total slob,” Hannah said. Meg punched her lightly on the arm. “Ow. That hurt!” Hannah said

  “Don’t call me a slob then,” she said and buckled her seat belt.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

  “To the hottest spot in town and we’re going to look drop dead gorgeous, too,” Meg said, smiling at me, almost mischievously.

  ***

  I caved and allowed Meg to curl my hair and put makeup on me. She kept swearing that I had the “perfect skin.” She loaned me a denim mini skirt, cowgirl boots, and a short sleeved emerald green button up shirt that hugged my body a little too closely. It made me feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t like attention called to me. She and Meg were very persuasive and insisted that I wear the outfit. The reflection I saw in the mirror looked like mine, only a different version. Maybe what I saw was the new and improved Finn?

  “You look great. I am a master at making people beautiful,” Meg joked.

  “Like you had to do much,” Hannah added and rolled her eyes.

  “Fine. Finn’s pretty, but look how great her hair and makeup look,” she pointed at me, grabbing my head so that I was facing Hannah. My expression must have been obvious because Hannah laughed.

  “Meg, she’s human you know. That’s a real head you’re holding,” she said. Meg realized what she was doing and let go of my head. I thanked Hannah with my eyes.

  Hannah drove us to You Bowl Me Over, Graceville’s only bowling alley and given the packed parking lot, one of its most popular hangouts among locals, too. It definitely needed updating, but that didn’t impact business. Every bowling lane was being used. The adjacent restaurant and bar had no empty tables. It seemed as if the entire town of Graceville was there. The air smelled of cigarette smoke and popcorn— not a good mix. Meg grabbed my arm making me walk with her. She was touchy and didn’t understand boundaries, but I liked that about her.

  “There they are,” she said and continued pulling my arm toward one of the bowling lanes. There were two boys: one bowling, the other waiting for his turn.

  “Strike!” the boy said and immediately hearing that voice and seeing his face, my heart skipped a beat.

  “What’s he doing here?” I whispered to Meg, trying to sound annoyed, but for some reason I wasn’t.

  “We hang out with Jesse a lot. That’s Matt, Hannah’s boyfriend.” She pointed to the tall, good looking, brown haired boy who resembled Jesse. He was talking to Hannah. “He’s Jesse’s cousin,” she said, putting on her bowling shoes. “Matt, this if Finn,” she said to him.

  He smiled at me. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said, his voice was very deep and his accent was thick. He could have been radio announcer for a country western station.

  “Hi.” I waved and then instantly put my hand down to my hips, feeling foolish for waving at him since we were within a few feet of each other. I sat down and took off the cowboy boots Hannah had lent me. I looked at the bowling shoes. They were hideous and smelled like stinky feet. Jesse plopped down next to me.

  He turned his head in my direction. “You curled your hair.”

  I touched it nervously. “Meg did.”

  “It looks good,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I said, surprised by his compliment. I hated to admit it to myself, but I liked hearing him say it. Any sane girl would.

  He leaned back against the chair, his arms folded. “I’m surprised you bowl,” he said.

  “I have bowled before - when I was a kid,” I said annoyed.

  “Everyone bowls when they’re a kid, it doesn’t count. I’m surprised you’re here you know, now.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, folding my arms.

  “Because bowling isn’t intellectual, it’s just pure fun.” He got up and grabbed his bowling ball. He stood at the edge of the lane pondering, then he dropped the ball suddenly, making a perfect score again. “Can everyone say strike?” he shouted happily. They all laughed.

  I stood up. “I’m getting a Coke, anyone else want one?” I asked.

  “I do,” Meg said and handed me a few dollars.

  I meandered over to the snack counter and waited in a long line. Something about Jesse’s comment upset me. I knew how to have fun. He didn’t know me, how could he so easily judge me?

  I attempted to carry the two Cokes and nachos back to our lane, but was having major difficulty. “Need some help?” Dylan asked, standing behind me. He was with some of his friends. He smelled good and looked just as good, wearing a light blue polo and jeans.

  I smiled. “Yes, is it obvious?”

  “Just a little,” he said, gesturing with his two fingers. He took the drinks out of my hand and we started walking. “So, you found Graceville’s hot spot.”

  “I was brought here.”

  “Of course you were. As you can see, this is the place to be,” he joked. He sat the drinks down on the table behind our lane.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “If you want to join my friends and me, we’re bowling in lane ten.” He pointed to one of the lanes in the distance.

  “Thanks. I’ll probably hang out here though.”

  “That’s cool,” he paused, “I’m having a party next weekend, you should come.” His fingers grazed my arm.

  “Sure.” I smiled too broadly. “That’d be great,” I said, this time less excited.

  “See ya, Finn.” He squeezed my arm gently. “You look nice tonight,” he said and walked toward his friends. I turned my head toward the bowling lane and saw Jesse staring at me. When he saw me looking at him, he turned around in the other direction.

  “Be careful with that one,” Meg said, grabbing her drink. She took at sip. “He’s a player.”

  “You’ve said that before. He seems nice though,” I said.

  “I’m just warning you as a friend. Ask Hannah about him. She would change your mind,” she said and sucked on her straw.

  “It’s your turn, Finn,” Hannah shouted from the lane. I took a huge gulp of my Coke and put it back down on the table. I got to the lane and grabbed the first bowling ball I could find. It was heavy and too large for my small fingers. Not having much strength, I dropped the ball, which immediately hit the gutter.

  “Gutter ball!” they all shouted in unison.

  I shrugged my shoulders, perplexed, almost feeling defeated. Jesse came over to me with another ball. “Here, this is a better fit.” He handed it to me.

  “Thanks.” I took it from him. My fingers fit perfectly into the tiny holes. The ball was light, not heavy at all. I was about to drop the ball.

  “Wait!” he shouted, startling me to a complete halt.

  “What?” I asked, still trying to catch my breath.

  “You need to have some form. You can’t just drop the ball, Finn. Here, take the ball and aim,” he said and stood beside me, gesturing what to do. I watched him and followed his instructions, fully aware how close we were standing next to each other. I dropped the ball. It hit seven pins.

  “Yay!” I said and smiled.

  “Good job. See, you’re having fun aren’t you?” he said smugly.

  I rolled my eyes and then my lips p
ulled up into a faint smile. “Yeah, I am.”

  “Thought so,” he said and smiled confidently. “So, what’d Dylan want?”

  I shrugged. “Oh, he was inviting me to his party next week.”

  “Figures,” he mumbled to himself.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, but before he could answer me, an older man that worked at the bowling alley walked over to him and whispered something in his ear. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but from the bits of conversation that I could hear, I could tell Jesse was upset. His expression was frantic, his posture stiff. He whispered something to his cousin and Hannah then immediately left.

  “Where’d he go?” I asked Hannah.

  “He had to leave,” she said, but I felt like she was hiding something. “My turn to bowl.”

  I took some sips of my drink. “I’ll be back,” I shouted, but my voice was muffled out from the loud music blaring in the background and the sounds of several bowling balls crashing into pins. I headed toward the restroom and saw Jesse walking with Hank, one of my grandfather’s customers. Hank was stumbling and laughing uncontrollably. Jesse had his arm around him, trying to keep him from falling down.

  “Spare!” Hank shouted loud enough for everyone in the bowling alley to hear. Jesse’s face turned beet red. He looked embarrassed.

  “Come on Dad,” Jesse said, walking with him toward the front entrance. He saw me staring at him, at the spectacle Hank was making. He glanced quickly at me, his face disconcerted. I forced a sympathetic smile. He held onto Hank and kept on walking.

  Chapter 10

  I kept what I had seen to myself. It wasn’t my business to discuss it with Hannah, Meg and especially Jesse. He acted as if nothing had happened and treated me the same as he always did. It was probably embarrassing to him that I knew his father had gotten drunk that night. I would have been mortified if my mother had gotten publicly drunk. The look on his face, the pained expression said it all. I had to respect his privacy.