Out of the Mountain
Page 23
“Let me have a better look at it. I won’t touch it.” Farran finally spoke. I turned the necklace toward him.
“It’s a seeing spell of sorts. She has embedded a memory into it or something of the kind,” Farran said after studying the power radiating from it for a moment.
“There is nothing she could show you that you would want to see.” I slammed the box shut at the curiosity behind his eyes.
“Yes, I suppose you are right.” He sighed, looking weary. I handed the box to Rowan and pulled Farran into a hug.
“Don’t let the old witch get to you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He kissed my head and swiftly disappeared.
“We need to hide it,” I said to Rowan as I began scouring the room for places to stash the necklace until we could figure out how to get rid of whatever was stored inside it. Rowan watched me for a moment before prying up a piece of tile in the bathroom floor under the sink and sliding it neatly into a hidden compartment.
“How did you?”
“Long story,” he grumbled. I turned the water on in the tub and exited the bathroom to give it a moment to fill.
“You enjoy bathing.” Rowan stated it as a fact; he did this often . . . like he was making a card catalog of facts about me in his head.
“I know. It’s kind of extravagant, but I had never had a hot bath before I came here. The monks didn’t have the need of that luxury, so I didn’t get it either. It helps relax me, almost in the same way as meditation does,” I admitted as I placed my dagger on the desk and my boots by the door. It would also give me an excuse to spend time alone, give me time to think. He nodded pensively. I sighed, making my way back into the bathroom and shutting the door. The water was steaming, and I took my clothes off, quickly throwing them into the basket behind the door.
I was just about to slip into the water when my outer thigh caught my attention. I had forgotten about the bandage. I sighed, stepping back out of the water, and slowly peeled back the bandage. When I started to see something dark beneath it, I yelped, smacking the bandage back against my leg in fear.
“Are you all right?” Rowan said from behind the door.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly, scared to see what was under the bandage.
“I’m coming in,” he warned, and I yelped.
“Wait!” I conjured underwear and a robe just as the door swung open.
“What’s the matter?”
“My leg . . .” I started, and he looked down at the bandage, eyes beginning to glow.
“Let me see.”
“Wait!” I jumped back from him, frightened. He narrowed his yellow gaze.
“I’m afraid to see the rest of it,” I admitted, voice shaking. In a flash I was sitting on the counter, his hands at my leg peeling the bandage away. I focused my eyes over his shoulder so I couldn’t see it as the bandage slipped free from my leg. I saw him stiffen from the corner of my eye and slid my eyes shut. Warm cloth met my outer thigh where the cut had been, but I felt no remnant of the earlier sting. His fingers slid over the spot, and I grabbed his shoulder firmly.
“Blood magic is unpredictable, but this is not something we expected to happen.”
“Is my leg rotting off?” I yelped, terrified of the black I had glimpsed.
“Of course not, but the magic left a mark,” he said, and I took a deep breath before glancing down. The line where the blade had slid across my skin was a slightly raised slash as black as ink. It looked like some sort of bizarre tattoo.
“Awesome!” I whispered, turning my side and pulling the robe away from my leg to get a better look in the mirror.
“I wouldn’t think that this would please you,” Rowan said, and I rolled my eyes.
“What do you want me to do? Cry about it?” I jumped down from the sink and decided it looked pretty badass.
“No, but this is a consequence you should not have to pay,” he growled.
“You think it looks that bad?”
“That was not my meaning. It would be one thing if this was a choice of something you put onto your skin, but you are going to be forced to bear twelve marks of blood magic, Vinnie.”
I hadn’t thought about that . . . would they all do this? I certainly couldn’t spread them out all over my body now. It would look like I had random slashes of black ink spread in odd places, and if Rowan was right (which unfortunately he usually was) I would be wearing these marks for the rest of my days. I took a moment to process that information.
“What if I made some sort of design with the cuts, kind of like a tattoo?” I bit my lip as I looked down at my outer thigh. Rowan looked at me for a moment before leaving the room. I followed him out and watched as he took a seat at my desk. He pulled out a pen and paper and looked at my leg before he began to draw. I watched in awe as he drew my leg and mark with deft fingers. Every line perfectly swept across the paper. He added to the picture a series of eleven other marks of varying size. When I saw what they resembled a smile split my face.
“It looks exactly like tiger stripes!” I exclaimed excitedly, leaning in closer to admire them.
“I thought you might enjoy it.” He smiled shyly, and my laugh seemed to become stuck in my throat when the proximity of that perfect dimple and my mouth was noted. I could just lean in and kiss it. Silence fell between us, and we both stood frozen.
His eyes were a blazing yellow, his perfect lips now pursed in a hard line. I could see the pulse at his throat and knew his heart was beating just as fast as mine. His eyes fell to my lips and fire lit low in my belly in anticipation. My eyes found his lips again of their own accord, the lips that just this morning had been pressing firmly against Adelaide as he denied his feelings for me.
I stepped back taking a deep breath of air that wasn’t filled with the scent of him and made my way slowly into the bathroom and shut the door. I took another look at my mark before slipping in the tub, and a frustrated tear fell from my eye. I swiped at the traitor and submerged myself in the now-lukewarm water. He wasn’t mine, but my heart didn’t agree. It broke with wanting him, and I gave up on keeping the tears at bay and let them fall silently as I went through the process of bathing. Luca was so good and nice and trusting. It would be so easy to love someone like him. He was everything I should want. He was kind, attractive, funny, and I loved talking to him and trusted him . . . why wasn’t that enough?
I was trying to give him a chance and right when it seemed like it was working, something as small as standing too close to Rowan shattered the entire façade. It just didn’t make sense. I didn’t want to feel this way, but I couldn’t force myself to stop it. I dried off, wiping my now-puffy, red eyes (great), and conjured my favorite comfy pj’s from the dressing closet. I took a deep breath to steady myself before I walked from the bathroom to the bed with single-minded purpose: climbing under the covers and squeezing my eyes closed, willing sleep to come quickly.
“Vinnie . . .”
“Just don’t, OK?” I mumbled, feeling my eyes sting hot with fresh tears.
“I do not understand . . .”
“I’m fine,” I growled, wishing he would leave it be.
“You aren’t,” he replied, and I sat up as I turned to face him, angry at his tone. His eyes widened when they met mine.
“Just leave it.”
“I had no intention of upsetting you.” His voice was urgent and unrecognizable. I groaned in frustration, dipping my head into my lap as a sob broke loose.
“Please tell me what I can do?” He sounded desperate.
“There’s nothing you can do.” I sighed and felt his weight sink onto the bed next to me. I jumped away from him, angry at how oblivious he was. “Actually there is! Keep away from me,” I complained, and he stood, slowly walking across the room.
“You are going to have to explain this to me.”
“You want an explanation?” I asked and he nodded. “You are oblivious! You see and hear everything and nothing at once!”
“I a
m far from oblivious.”
“Then you are cruel.” My voice shook, and hurt crossed his face.
“Vinnie!” he complained, but I stopped him with a hand.
“I heard what you said in the hall to Adelaide. You made your feelings toward me very clear. You know how I feel about you and I am trying to work around it. I wish it was as easy for me as it is for you, but I’m having trouble dealing with it. We shared one kiss, and it’s as if it contained a lifetime of emotions for me to sort through. My heart hurts.” I grabbed my chest as my words spilled from me in a rush that I couldn’t stop.
“Kissing Luca was great; it was fun, even. So easy and comfortable. He’s cute, funny, and smart. I look forward to seeing him. It should be simple, but even standing near you sweeps those feelings away as if they never existed!” I swiped at my face, embarrassed all over again when I noticed the stricken look he was giving me. I was attacking him. I took deep breaths trying to get myself back under control. Everything felt raw. My tigress was feeling caged again, and I hadn’t noticed that she was fueling my emotions to this breaking point. I was going to hate myself in the morning.
“What I said to Adelaide was true,” he began, and I let out an indignant snort.
“Thanks for making it extra clear.”
“I am not interested in you as I am her. I do not wish to be romantically involved in the same manner either . . . She is but a distraction, one on a long list of many. You know the oaths I swore; you saw it with your own eyes. You should also know that your mother was right: my world view has shifted many times over since then. But no matter what change came, the only thing that has remained the same is my desire to honor, protect, and guide you. I would put your life before my own without a thought. You are the most important person in my life, Vinnie, and I cannot allow what we feel to come in between what I swore to do.” His eyes were pleading me to understand. My heart had broken and then mended with his words. It was full to bursting at the last sentence.
“What ‘we’ feel?” I enunciated the most important word.
“Love is fickle, Vinnie. It is too easily allied with hate. I have seen much in my life, and this I know for certain. What we have, this oath that bonds us . . . it is more. It will never go away. I will not risk your happiness on mere feelings of attraction between us. I cannot.” He begged for understanding. He wanted me to let this go. I didn’t want to, but for now I would. I would take what he had given me and let it sit. My tigress was purring happily. She wanted him as much as I did.
“We will see . . .” I sighed lying back into bed and turning my back to him.
“Yes, I imagine we will,” he replied as the lights went out.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Six days later, I had seven perfectly placed marks on my outer thigh. I used Rowan’s drawing as reference, and it was looking pretty badass. That armed Luca, Briony, Malachi, Griffin, Finley, Tamora, and Tasmin. My week had flown by with training, and with Mauve’s insistent planning, you would have thought that this coronation was for her and not me. I told her that I loved the gift and couldn’t wait to wear it. I had slowly been pulling back from Luca, and he had noticed, easily giving me room that he must have thought I needed. I hadn’t gotten the chance to have a good chat with him about it yet, but I suspected he knew it was coming. Rowan had returned to the part of stoic sentry. I wasn’t going to rush him, but I had a feeling he would eventually see things my way.
On a rare day off from training, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I convinced Rowan to leave me in the library for the day as he and the other guards did their weekly outer perimeter patrols and staff meeting. I wasn’t even sure what that entailed, but at the moment I didn’t care as I perused thousands of books and tried to figure out where to start. I had come here with good intentions. I was going to freshen up on some history, read some solid nonfiction, and educate myself. I had even brought along materials to take notes!
There was an information desk at the side of the room. I had noticed it briefly upon my entry, but on my second pass, my eyes caught a stack of boxes atop the counter and I took a longer look. Curiosity got the best of me as I peered around the empty room. No one was in here but me. I quickly hopped onto the counter and opened a box, a smile lighting my face. New books! I dug through the first box, noting some I would need to come back for later, and when I started the second box I knew that I was done for. A new novel by my favorite author! The book was bound in leather, a first edition. I sighed in defeat, kissing my good intentions good-bye, and found a corner to tuck myself into.
Hours passed, and I was deep into a steamy love scene when I heard a throat clear above me. I was completely engrossed in the book and blushed at being caught. Malachi grinned down at me gleefully.
“My, my, what are you reading that has you so flushed?” he joked, and I pulled the book tightly to my chest in defense.
“It’s not only a romance novel. It has action and adventure too.”
“Oh, I’m sure it does.” He patronized me.
“What are you even doing here?” I asked as I stood, marking my page to return to later.
“I’m all done, but everyone else is still hard at work. I thought maybe you could keep me company.”
“Because I wasn’t busy or anything,” I complained halfheartedly.
“Oh come on, Vivi, hanging with me will be better than working yourself up into an insatiable lust all by your lonesome.” He laughed at my expense.
“It better be, because I was just getting to the good part,” I grumbled, and he laughed even louder.
“You know, I just realized that I really don’t know all that much about you. I never would have guessed you lusted after fictional characters. What else are you hiding?” he asked as he walked to a part of the big library I hadn’t noticed. Tucked into a private corner and surrounding a fireplace that would be perfect during the winter were couches and chairs. My back sure would have appreciated these huge, comfy chairs earlier. He sat in one, and I did the same.
“Books have always been an escape for me. I read constantly growing up. It wasn’t easy being a teenager locked inside a mountain and forced to endure silent time every day,” I groaned.
“I am sure it was difficult,” he agreed.
“What about you? Do you have a family?” I asked, interested.
“A mother and a father, still alive and well in the upper district.” He sighed, and it held weight behind it.
“Strained relationship?”
“That’s a nice way to put it . . . but I’m sure you don’t want to listen to my issues.” He blushed, but I urged him on. I wanted to understand him.
“My parents are, for the lack of a better word, geniuses. They are scientists of a kind and work alongside Conduits to advance and utilize magic and science.”
“Wow, that’s amazing,” I said honestly. I had no idea.
“Yes, it would seem that way. Believe it or not, I was being groomed to follow in their footsteps. Much to their chagrin, it just didn’t come easily for me. I wasn’t as smart, and it took a lot more work on their part to make me appear that way. The older I got, the more I grew to resent them and myself. I wasn’t happy.” He shook his head as if to shake off a bad memory before continuing.
“I took to one too many vices before I tried to pick a fight with Silas one night, drunk off my ass and high on some cheap drug. I didn’t even know who he was at the time. I was a spoiled rich kid without a care in the world, but somehow he saw beyond that. He said he had seen the desperation behind my eyes and decided to help me out. He threw me in the cells for a night, and when I sobered up he had a long talk with me, really challenged me to reevaluate my life.
“The guard was recruiting their new group of novices the very next week, and I joined. My parents almost imploded. It was beneath me, they said; I was meant for a greater purpose! I finally realized I would never be good enough for them and stopped trying to be. I’ve never been as happy in my life,” he said, eyes seriou
s in a rare moment. My heart ached for him.
“Their loss,” I said truthfully, and he smiled at me.
“Look where I am now, spending time with a real live princess in the palace. I should write them and let them know,” he jeered, and I laid a hand on his.
“Just because you weren’t successful in the way they wanted you to be, doesn’t mean you aren’t successful.”
“You’re quite the smooth talker,” he joked, breaking the serious mood. I was glad he had opened up to me briefly. I was happy to know him even a little better.
“I have my moments,” I agreed.
“Now tell me what that book is about.” He tried to sound interested and failed, we both laughed at his attempt.
***
After dinner I was feeling pretty content with my day so far. I had actually had spent the rest of the afternoon explaining the book to Malachi and could tell he was thoroughly interested in the ending. I took it to my room to finish and swore I would discreetly tell him the ending later. I thought about how little I really knew about all the people who surrounded me, and guilt seeped in. We had been busy since my arrival and hadn’t exactly had free time to mingle, but maybe I should have put forth more effort? The concept of evolving friendship was still new to me. I was only ever used to being an acquaintance. I wanted to be more, to have more than that in my life.
Decision made, I invited the novices to an impromptu meeting in the barracks and grilled them on their lives. I learned that Briony was an only child and she lived with her grandmother because her parents had died during the war. Luca had twin baby brothers, and his family lived in the farming district close to Briony’s. Their parents had been best friends; they had grown up together.