Most of the first three days were spent passing rust-colored foliage and barren fields. The fall harvest had come and gone, and many of the country’s youth were attempting their first year of study in one of the kingdom’s war schools, the rest sticking close to home, taking on the extra chores for a family trade.
We stuck to camping, not wanting to draw extra attention in any of the local inns. For the most part, the days were long, but I would have gladly suffered a constant sun to avoid the night and the jesting of our more brazen comrades. After all, Darren and I were husband and wife. The jokes that passed were innocent, but the silence that remained long after when Darren and I retired to our tent was not.
Silence and the momentary flicker of pain. Darren tried hard not to show it, and I tried hard to pretend I was blind. Even when he held me, as he had since that first night of the wedding, I felt a growing divide. Not grief, which would surely thaw, but guilt. It built with each moment that passed.
My nights were spent endlessly tossing and turning. If this is us now… But I couldn’t bear to think of the future. I just prayed to the gods it was worth it.
By the fifth day west, we had reached Demsh’aa, nestled at the base of the Iron Mountain Range.
Darren and the rest set to questioning the villagers, leaving me standing at the doorway of my parents’ apothecary. Paige stood guard further back, giving me privacy. I wasn’t worried about Darren’s safety, the village—contrary to Blayne’s belief—contained no rebels whatsoever. Derrick had made it clear Ferren’s Keep was their only base. The rebels hiding out down south were nomadic, never remaining in the same town long.
I watched an older woman explain something to a young girl at the front. She had the beautiful blonde hair and keen blue eyes of my brothers. Brother. Her lips were pressed and hard.
A man at her right with curly locks and a crooked nose helped another young apprentice with a potion for one of their waiting clients. The shop was packed full with waiting customers. The flimsy boarding had been reinforced and painted over, and new brocade curtains covered the windows. It was easily the most profitable building in the whole square. The coin Alex and I had been sending home during the apprenticeship had been put to good use.
As I watched my parents, it felt as if a palm were pressing down on my chest. Their demeanor had changed since that last visit. They had dark shadows under their eyes, and they were slow to smile.
You did this. I made myself take a little step forward and another, until I was at the front. I waited for them to notice.
My mother was first. For just a moment, there was light in her eyes, and then it died. She reached out for her husband, and then my father turned and spotted me as well. They left the shop to the girls and walked me back to their house across the way. It, too, had undergone many changes.
For a moment, there was a stilted, uncomfortable air as the three of us entered the building in silence, and then my mother made a small choking noise, pulling me into her embrace. Her arms went around my shoulders and her face pressed against my hair. My father’s feet shuffled across the room, and then the pressure tightened until I was listening to their hitched intakes of breath, a wordless moment fraught with emotion as the familiar scent of woodsy pine and cloves enveloped me whole.
“I wish you had been there,” I finally croaked.
“I’m sure you made a beautiful bride.” My father’s voice shook as he brushed my hair along the back of my head.
My mother was sobbing. “The capital where Derrick…”
I clenched my eyes, blinking back the tears at the mention of his name. I knew why they had refused to visit, but it didn’t make the pain any less.
I wasn’t sure how long the three of us stood there in the entry. The first hour was spent in silence with locked limbs, white knuckles, and glassy eyes.
These were the two that had raised me. Their presence begged for the past, for when I was just a little girl crying to my parents instead of an adult who so easily made mistakes. When I was just Ryiah, not a mage, and certainly not tied up with the Crown, in love with the brother of an evil king. I wanted them to tell me this was all just a dream, that I could make the nightmare vanish, that we could turn down the hall and see my youngest brother laughing in the corner with an impish smile.
But I couldn’t.
And yet, for the first time in the last two months, I didn’t have to be so alone. My parents needed to be prepared for what was to come in case I failed. I had no doubt the first people the king would seek out were my family.
It was much later into the evening, as wax dripped from candles long forgotten, that I finished telling my parents everything that had changed. It was much different than my visit before. Their hearts had already been hardened to loss, their youngest was dead, and their second son had joined a rebel cause. Hearing that their only daughter intended to betray the Crown, that she intended to break up the New Alliance and help the rebels all the while under the Black Mage’s nose? I suppose they had come to expect that the gods were not in our family’s favor.
“Oh, Ryiah.” My mom’s hand shot out to grasp my own. “You don’t have to be the one to do this.”
My response was devoid of feeling. “Don’t I?”
She looked away, biting her lip. My father said nothing.
They knew it even if they didn’t want to admit it. I was the only one, and wishing that I wasn’t the girl stuck with this destiny wouldn’t change a thing.
“We will do exactly as you say.” My father had finally spoken. “We’ll have one of the apprentices keep an eye on the roads and keep a bag of necessities hidden away. The moment we hear of anything unusual, we’ll leave.”
“Where will you go?”
My mother cleared her throat. “South. I have a cousin who lives just outside of Port Ishir. We’ll tell her we’re looking to start up a second apothecary closer to sea and give a change of names. You and Alex have certainly given us enough coin to open a second shop, and the girls can run our first in Demsh’aa. No one will be the wiser.”
A bit of relief worked itself into my chest. Their plan could work.
“You need to be careful, Ryiah.” My father pushed a lock of hair to the side of my face. “This Blayne…” His eyes darkened as his fist curled in his lap. “He isn’t the type to overlook things. If you make even one mistake—”
“I won’t.” My shoulders tensed. “You and Mom won’t lose another child.”
“And your husband?” My mother’s gaze locked on my own. She knew how much he meant; she could see it in my eyes. She was afraid of the thing I would lose. She was afraid for me.
I thought of what the Pythian ambassador said on the night we met: “You’ve found yourself a happily ever after in a time when there are none.” If only I had realized the truth before. “Justice has a price.” I looked my mother in the eyes. “He is mine.”
WE ARRIVED at our destination a week later. Frost coated the grass, making a crunching noise as our party approached the base of the great keep fortress. It was as towering as it was dark, a menacing stone beacon like the mountain itself, built directly into a portion of the Iron Range. Hidden away behind it was a small town accessible only by passage within; it housed the country’s most talented blacksmiths that supplied the king’s regiment.
Ian’s parents were two of them.
I now wondered how many weapons they had hidden away amongst their own, unnoticed, while fulfilling the Crown’s orders for steel. I wondered how long their son had known about his parents’ cause, and my view of the apprenticeship took on a whole new light.
All those times Ian had tried to strike up a friendship with the unfriendly Darren, perhaps it hadn’t been quite so innocent as I thought. Would he have been quite so enthusiastic to spend time alongside me if I hadn’t been the girl who caught the prince’s eye? Everyone had seen the way Darren talked to the lowborn girl, shunning the rest of our year.
My stomach churned. Gods, every one of us wa
s tainted. All of us shades of gray. This world of innocence was a lie.
Our group declared itself at the base of a raised walkway. The sentries spent a moment checking our seals before they recognized their guests. We were waved forward, and the first of two iron gates raised. By the time we passed our second set of sentries, a hostler was ready for our steeds while the twenty-two of us disembarked and stood, rubbing our arms underneath layers of wool. The keep’s entry with its stone tunnels was even colder than the outside.
We were told to wait.
Commander Nyx arrived ten minutes later, the air of surprise touching her mouth, but a sharp distrust lingered in her steel eyes. Her gaze locked on me, and I wondered how much Alex had told her since arriving several weeks before. Did she suspect I was here to turn over the rebels to my husband?
I kept my eyes level, willing the commander to silence until I had a chance to explain. The woman had to know the keep could easily overtake our party if we were here to arrest. Darren and I might have more power than most, but the keep was comprised of two thousand members, and they had the backing of several northern townships that kept the rebels’ cause.
“To what do I owe this unexpected visit, Your Highness?” Nyx’s tone betrayed none of her emotion; if anything, it showed more warmth than I had ever experienced during my stay in her regiment just one year before.
Darren frowned at the openness of her request. The prince wasn’t fool enough to discuss his mission in an open tunnel. Who knew what others might be within hearing. The many floors of storage were just beyond. Some of the crates and barrels were large enough to hide a man. Darren’s sharp gaze flit over the shadowy crevices at the entry of the keep’s central passage.
“Can we speak somewhere private?”
Her gaze narrowed. I could tell she was unwilling to find herself alone with the Black Mage. Not without knowing my relation in the matter. Not without knowing whether or not I’d told him the truth. Because if he knew, it would mean certain death.
Still, if Nyx voiced her reluctance, it would put the commander at the top of his list.
“Of course. My personal chambers would be best.”
We followed the commander down the passage and through the storerooms. The lowest level of the keep was also the coldest, its air made chilly by stone walls, untouched by insulating tapestries to keep away the frost.
After passing through a locked set of reinforced doors with another set of guards waiting nearby, we reached the commander’s personal chambers. She produced a ring of keys and paused, her hand on the door’s lock.
“I trust that you don’t need your guards to partake?”
She sought to limit potential witnesses.
Darren was quick to agree, but I was not. I did not trust the crown prince of the realm alone with the leader of the rebels. I’d never been privy to the secrets of the keep—who knew if there was a secret collection of mages and knights that she had already readied, waiting just beyond the commander’s walls to accost a threat before it became more?
“I will join you both.”
Darren gave me a raised brow, no doubt recalling his brother’s orders and thinking himself capable of meeting the commander alone, but he didn’t question my decision aloud.
Nyx looked anything but pleased.
“Very well. If you both would follow me.”
Paige let out an angry huff as we passed. She wasn’t pleased about being left behind; Henry at least trusted me to see to the prince. Paige did not trust anyone but herself.
She was the wisest of all.
The rest of our unit resigned to wait.
Commander Nyx turned the key and led the two of us into a large barren chamber. The draft wasn’t much better here than the hall beyond. Its furnishings were bare, save for a thick rug and the seating area on the left that included a long, rectangular slab of a table and twenty chairs.
One for each head knight in her squads, I assumed, to meet in private and discuss strategy before addressing the whole of her regiment in the open.
My eyes immediately studied the chamber for any hint of rebel activity, but it was far too plain to be incriminating.
I wondered if Nyx had one of her men do a quick sweep while we were in the hall. How many documents were being burned while the crown prince and princess were occupied? By the time Darren took up his investigation, there wouldn’t be a scrap of paper indicating their cause.
Darren didn’t miss a beat. “King Blayne has sent me to check on our northern post. The Crown recently discovered a rebel who was a former soldier of your regiment. I would like the keep’s full cooperation while I lead this investigation. I trust you can keep your own men in line.” He had used a similar train of speech for the lord overseeing Demsh’aa during our visit. The only difference was that man was a fool and had almost fallen over his round belly thanking a prince of the realm—he had seemed to forget his prince was also the Black Mage—for overseeing his town for that “rebel rubbish.”
“Of course.” The commander pressed her lips into a tight smile. “I will assist in any way that I can. May I ask who the rebel was?”
She was going to make him say it.
I swallowed back a mouth full of bile as I answered instead. “Derrick.” Darren didn’t know about Jacob and the other rebels who had been involved in my brother’s escape. They had never been identified, even the ones who died. All had been too careful to bear incriminating insignia or paperwork on their person.
The commander feigned a sharp intake of breath. “Your brother, Your Highness?”
“My little brother.” That you recruited and brainwashed into service to further your cause. I stared her down, letting the woman silently ponder how much I knew. I wanted her to sweat. I may have taken up her cause, but that didn’t make her blameless. Commander Nyx had used Derrick to use me, and I couldn’t help but think how even the so-called heroes had blood on their hands.
Every hero was a villain in the end. War was corrupting us all.
“We have already investigated his parents’ village.” Darren’s voice seemed to echo across the room.
My eyes flitted back to my husband.
“Ferren’s Keep was the next logical choice. Even if the rebels reside elsewhere, there is a good chance someone here knows how they were able to recruit. Her brother never served south, so it is highly probable that at least some of the rebels or their contacts reside north.”
“A very apt conclusion.” Nyx was nodding along, her shoulders relaxed, not one tense muscle in her stance. No wonder she had managed to keep her role so long without suspicion.
Then again, she was a highborn like her brother, the young advisor who’d overheard King Lucius’s plans so many years ago. And if there was one thing the Pythian duke had taught me, it was that every highborn could lie.
Ironic, really, that the leader of the rebels was a highborn that only recruited lowborns.
A short break of silence followed.
“I need a list of each unit’s men,” Darren said, “with their years of service. I need the names of the cities they transferred from, as well as any personal notes you or your guard find peculiar to their service. My team and I will start interrogating the first squad at dawn. Bring us the one Derrick was a part of first.”
“He received a promotion to Sir Maxon’s squad before he resigned from our keep. Maxon is returning from a patrol along the border. His men should be back in a week and a half.”
The prince shifted from one foot to the next. “Then bring us Derrick’s first. Perhaps someone there will have noticed a change before his promotion.”
“Certainly. We have a dungeon in the back of the keep, do you require such methods in your interrogation?”
Darren’s eyes went dark, and a bit of ice burrowed into my lungs. “I would prefer to question them before it comes to other… methods.”
But he would, if necessary. Darren had confessed that to me during our trip. He would do anything to protect hi
s country, and if he had to hurt a man, or many, he would.
I had tossed and turned every night since.
I needed to make sure it didn’t come to that. If it did—it wouldn’t. This was why I was here. To lead the Black Mage astray. To keep the rebels safe.
To keep Darren safe from their blood on his hands.
“Then I will have them report outside the cell at first light. No other squads will be present. Is there anything else?” The commander’s eyes were on the prince, but I knew the question was for me.
“Private accommodations. And I want a row of cots for the rest of our unit just outside it. We will use our own guards.” My tone came out harsh and abrupt. It was reminiscent of Paige, and for the first time, I realized exactly how hard my friend’s station must have been, guarding a girl who believed she was capable of her own defense. There were people one inevitably let down their caution for, and they were the reason guards were needed.
I told myself I would make it a point to apologize the first chance I got.
Darren wasn’t safe, not until I had a chance to talk to Nyx and the others alone. I’d never felt so tense or alert in my life.
Lowborn modesties aside, I would sooner have the keep presume me demanding than allow Darren to sleep in a barrack full of armed men. Let them think I was the snooty princess from before. Blayne’s orders had given me all the leniency I needed. With Darren, my goal and the king of Jerar’s were one and the same.
I would play whatever role it took.
“King’s orders.” My smile was strained. “You understand.”
Darren was giving me an odd look; I didn’t sound like myself. I knew he would remark on it later, but for now, I kept my gaze locked on the commander.
“I’ll see that the two of you are given the chamber across the hall.” Nyx crossed the room to rummage through her drawers and produced a single brass key. “We reserve it for just this sort of affair. I would never want a prince of Jerar sleeping among the rest.”
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