I almost snorted, recalling just the opposite sort of reaction a year before. She had been most pleased that I had chosen to take up with the rest of the regiment’s women in the barracks, much to Paige’s outspoken disapproval.
The commander saw us back to the hall without incident. “I’ll have my men bring out cots for the rest of your lot.”
And here was my opportunity. “Thank you, Commander.” I grasped the woman’s wrist as she retreated, slipping a thin roll of parchment just under her sleeve. It was a move I’d practiced in the mirror that first night we arrived in Demsh’aa. It took all of three hours to perfect just the right twist of the wrist and shifting of my cloak.
The commander stiffened in shock but recovered far too quickly to voice her surprise aloud.
I’d composed the letter that same night. My mother had sewn it into my cloak with a bit of thread, and I’d worn the smelly thing ever since, refusing to take it off even for a moment. The last thing I’d wanted was for Darren or the others to find a mysterious letter hidden away in the paneling of my sleeve.
“Darren and I appreciate your cooperation in this matter,” I said hastily, taking a step back to stand beside the prince. “We hope not to take up too much of your regiment’s time.”
The woman smiled. This time there was a confidence that she hadn’t carried just a couple of seconds before. Nyx was an intelligent woman; she knew the paper held some purpose I could not speak aloud.
“I am more than happy to cooperate. I, too, have this country’s best interests at heart.”
FIFTY MINUTES LATER, I made an excuse to Darren and the others that I needed to bathe despite the extremely late hour of our arrival. The stench of my cloak was enough to discourage any protest on the parts of our guards. Darren had been immersed in his scrolls, reviewing everything the Crown knew about the rebels in preparation for the interrogation that following morning.
Paige, of course, accompanied me. Luckily, however, we’d spent over a year at the keep and she had come to consider bathing trips a simple task.
I feigned a quick search of the bathhouse.
“There’s no one inside. I’ll be as quick as I can.”
My guard nodded along absentmindedly, her gaze locked on the dark corridor beyond. Rebels were far more likely to be stalking a princess in the halls, not hiding out in the unheated waters of an unoccupied bathhouse an hour past midnight. She trusted my inspection without question.
When I entered the building, Nyx was waiting in the shadows on the opposite dais. I knew she would come; the commander had far too much at risk not to.
The first thing I did was cast out a listening “wall.” It wasn’t foolproof, just a thick, stagnant wall of condensed air, but I wasn’t planning to shout.
I didn’t bother with the candles. If Paige took it upon herself to check on me later, I wanted the inside to be as indiscernible as possible.
“Your Highness—”
I held up a hand, stopping her. “Derrick told me everything.”
“Everything?”
“Before he was caught, my brother confessed the truth about this keep—the truth about you, the truth about the old king and Caltoth, all of it. At the time, I didn’t believe him…” I paused and looked her straight in the eyes. It was hard to see them in the dark, but I thought she looked scared. I wondered what she thought of me. “Every word out of his mouth sounded like something you had constructed to recruit naïve rebels.”
“I swear, every word was the truth!”
“I know that now.” My words were bitter and low. “But I didn’t then. I didn’t because you never gave me the chance. You used my new position to fund your regiment, you had one of my best friends return just to test my loyalty to the keep, you sent my own brother to abuse my ties to the Crown, you made me lie to my husband—” my lips started to tremble, but I made myself carry on, “—but never once did you ask.”
“Ryiah.” Nyx’s whisper was apologetic.
“You can understand why I doubted your cause.” The rage rose and boiled in the center of my chest. It was back, and however misdirected, I couldn’t keep from relaying it to her in an angry hiss. “I lost him, Commander! I lost my own brother because you never gave me the chance to understand. I lost him because I was overwhelmed and blind and I couldn’t see the truth until it was too late.”
“King Lucius was a tyrant.” Nyx stood a little straighter, arms folding across her chest. “I couldn’t risk the chance you’d run to the Crown and destroy all those years of planning. There was too much at stake. Derrick was never supposed to tell you. That was never a part of the plan—”
“But he did.” I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to send the anger away before things got too heated. It would be too easy to yell, to raise my voice and forget why I was here. “I just didn’t believe him.”
“I am sorry for your loss.” The woman paused; she seemed to have difficulty speaking. “He was a great soldier, one of the brightest I’ve seen.”
“He was.”
“Derrick reminded me of Raphael.” One of the dead lords who had tried to poison Lucius. “He kept begging me to recruit you against the others’ advice, telling me I was making a mistake.” She paused. “I suppose he was right after all.”
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then she asked, “What changed? If you didn’t believe him while he was…?” She averted her gaze.
“Alive?” I took a deep breath and braced myself against the wall. This was it. What I was about to say now, I could never take it back. But if I didn’t, we would go to war. And so I told her, leaving nothing out, sharing every detail from my mission during the apprenticeship to the girl in the Candidacy stands, and especially the king.
When I was done, the commander was silent. She kept parting her lips and then swallowing, unwilling or unable to speak. When she finally cleared her throat, her words were hoarse. “I thought the worst of it was over… I-I’ll admit, a small part of me considered that Lucius had passed down his secret to his sons, but I thought it was Pythus.”
The rebels thought King Joren had orchestrated the murders the night of the Victors’ Ceremony in Montfort.
“Darren is innocent.” I needed her to understand what I was about to say. “All of this, it was Blayne.”
“And yet it is the Black Mage who is investigating our keep.”
“Because his brother asked him to!” My whisper came out a defensive shout, and I made myself lower it. “Darren risked his life to save your soldiers that day of our apprenticeship. If he had known the attack was planned, he wouldn’t—”
“Perhaps Darren wanted to look the hero.” She was unconvinced.
My nails dug into my palm. “He lost his best friend that day, the daughter of Commander Audric, Eve. He would never sacrifice her.”
“Perhaps—”
“Perhaps nothing!” I took a menacing step forward. “I watched the prince cry for the apprentices who died during the attacks in Mahj, the attacks you initiated.”
“Salt is a precious commodity. Cutting off the Crown’s primary resource would have forced Lucius to cut back his army—”
“I watched Darren sacrifice, again and again, for his country. He is nothing like his brother, nothing.”
Nyx wore a frown plastered to her mouth, but said nothing. She had spent over twenty years nursing a distrust of the Crown. She didn’t know Darren the way I did. The commander might not have been there in Mahj the day the rebels tried to kill the prince, but it was her cause that had been willing to sacrifice the boy I loved.
I needed her to understand that could not be the case.
“I will help you,” I said softly. “I will finish what my brother could not. I will find the proof we need and convince the Pythians not to honor the New Alliance. But I need your assurance Darren will be safe from the others. What we are planning, however it plays out, Darren will not be charged with his family’s crimes.”
“He is a p
rince of the realm. When the Crown’s secrets are exposed, no one will trust him on the throne. Even if I were to believe you, that Darren is innocent, you can see that the others will not. They will never trust a prince of tainted lineage to lead.”
“He doesn’t need a crown.” I had already made up my mind. “When this is over, you can put someone else on the throne, but Darren is free.”
“Any acts he commits under his brother’s orders—”
“He will not be accountable.” My words came out a growl. “Darren is not responsible for whatever the king requests of his Black Mage.”
“He is hunting rebels.” Her voice was hard. “You expect my men to stand by as—”
“I expect you to tell them whatever it takes. If anyone harms a hair on his head, I will turn this entire regiment over to the king.”
“You would sentence thousands to die?”
“You would sentence thousands to die. If you cannot control your men, it would be their blood on your hands, not mine.” I was bluffing, but she couldn’t read my expression in the dark. “You will not be able to stop this war without me. You need me.”
“All for him?”
“All for Jerar.” I folded my arms. “But I will not let Darren be the cost.”
Nyx was silent. I knew she would say yes; she had no other choice. She couldn’t afford to walk away.
“Very well.” The woman drew in a resigned breath, and then another. “I will report everything you have told me to my men and send word to the Caltothian king. Horrace needs to know about this new development. How can we assist?”
“Darren believes the rebels reside north and that the southern attacks were feigned to lead the Crown astray.” My tone was flat. “I need you to give him a reason to believe he is wrong. The longer we remain at the keep, the less time I have to search the palace and the higher the chance the whole keep is exposed.”
“You want me to stir up activity in the south?”
I shook my head. “Blayne has Marius and several patrols combing the Red Desert as we speak. No one would be safe. I want you to have one of your own put on a good show here. Make Darren believe he has discovered one of the rebels. Have the man claim he was paid to recruit for a leader in the south, and that there are rebels hiding among the palace staff, biding their time, waiting for their chance to murder their king.”
“I would be sentencing this man to certain death.”
I took a shaky breath. “Darren will not kill the rebel, not right away, not if he believes he has information that can help him identify the ones in the palace. Have the man bargain with his life, claiming that without him it will be too late for Blayne.”
“And then?”
“I will find a way to help him escape.” My mind was already made up.
“A rebel escape under the Black Mage and twenty of his closest guards? That’s an impossible feat.”
“Just prepare the man.” I folded my arms resolutely. “Make sure he knows the hideouts your people keep in the Iron Range. And whatever you do, do not send him south. That’s where Darren will look.”
“How much time do I have?”
“At least a week. Darren would be suspicious if he came across a rebel too easily.”
“And after you return to the palace?”
“You ready your men, and you wait.”
“I have one of our own stationed in Devon.” The commander paused and her tone grew somber. “She was the one who was able to inform us the day your brother was caught. We didn’t have enough time for a rescue. The only group we had on standby were not enough…” She cleared her throat quietly. “Saba will keep watch over the palace. Should you need to reach us, visit the lower city blacksmith. I will send word you are working with us. Any communication can be sent through her. The palace envoys are watched.”
The two of us continued to talk strategy.
“Everything depends on Pythus.” The commander’s brow was furrowed. “I could send word to Horrace to contact King Joren himself, but their countries’ ties were severed after the New Alliance. Do you have a plan?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “No, and the Pythians are set to arrive in six weeks.”
“I would not trust a letter. Not even an envoy. You need to approach their ambassador in person. Duke Cassius will be traveling to oversee the warships?”
I was certain.
“Good.” Her response was terse. “And whether or not you find proof, you need to convince him to turn. That will be your only opportunity to stop the alliance. After, it will be too late.”
She wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know, but that didn’t stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, the anxious fear squeezing at my lungs and choking me out from the inside.
“The Pythians might not be swayed by justice.” Nyx said this as an afterthought. “Promise them whatever it takes. Give them a reason to pick us. Even in their greed, they have never sought to stage wars on their own people. Any rule is better than that of a corrupt king.”
I nodded.
“The Pythians might not be enough.” The commander placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “The Crown’s Army is twice the size of their own. Even with the rebels and Caltoth standing united, we still may lose.”
I was silent. I didn’t want to think of an outcome in which we lost… what the world would be like if we did.
“Your twin and his wife arrived at my keep a couple months back.” The commander sounded apologetic. “They made it very clear they wanted a part in my cause. I have them as part of Sir Maxon’s squad. Would you like me to send word before they arrive?”
“Yes.” My voice caught and I shook my head, shaking away the sudden emotion at the mention of my brother and best friend and the last time we had crossed paths. “Tell them everything,” I croaked. “I can’t keep sneaking away to meet like this. It will raise too much suspicion. I had to risk tonight because… because I was afraid of—”
“Of what we might attempt with a prince in our keep.” Nyx didn’t bother to shy away from the truth. “I understand. And you wouldn’t be wrong.”
“It will give them some time to prepare. For Alex to… to understand.”
“It will be hard for everyone.”
“It already is.”
I disrobed and stepped into the shadowy pool. My teeth were chattering from the cold, but I needed to wash. Paige was waiting just beyond the door.
The commander watched me. “It will only get worse, Ryiah. No matter how hard it gets, you must not tell the prince the truth.”
I started to lather my arms with soap, forcing myself to concentrate on the task at hand. I didn’t want to think about Darren now. Nothing would change. I wouldn’t tell him and I would hate myself every second of it.
To do otherwise would be to put the others at risk. I trusted Darren with my life, but he also loved his brother. I couldn’t trust him not to give Blayne a chance to explain. And it was that chance I feared. Because a king had too much power in a chance.
Maybe I was making a mistake, but the stakes were too great if I wasn’t.
“I know you think the worst of me,” Nyx added, “because I was—am—willing to sacrifice those you love, but what you do not understand is that we will not be able to save everyone. For a cause such as this, no one will come away clean.” Her voice lowered. “Least of all us.”
Commander Nyx had made hard decisions all her life. She’d spent years building up a rebel army as she watched a tyrant of a king stage false battles the people didn’t need. I wondered how many people she had lost along the way. What had she been like before all of this? After she’d lost her brother, did she have anything left to feel? All these years of biding her time, waiting, knowing there was an evil plaguing the lands but she couldn’t yet strike.
For the first time, I pitied her. I only had to see this through to the end; she’d had years.
The next ten minutes passed in silence, and then, as I finished and stepped out of t
he cold, I brushed the hair back out of my eyes.
“Commander?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry you lost your brother.”
Her intake of breath was soft. “I am sorry you lost yours.”
4
A couple of hours later, I awoke to find the prince sitting at the edge of the cot, his hands folded above his head as he stared straight ahead. He was already dressed in a formal leather jerkin and a thick wool cloak, heavy boots at his feet.
“Darren?” My voice cracked as I sat up in bed, clutching my thin chemise to my chest. My breath fogged up the air—I had forgotten how cold the keep’s winters could get.
The sun wasn’t even peeking through the window bars. Our room seemed to be the only one facing the outside of the keep, and I could see the darkness still pooling across the barren landscape, the keep’s flaming torches lining its fortified walls.
“I can’t sleep.” He still hadn’t raised his head. “I keep trying, but all I can think about is Caine. What will happen if I find a rebel today? Gods, Ryiah, what can they possibly think to gain? A nation in ruins so the Caltothians can tear us apart? How could anyone wish for that?”
There was a pang in my chest, and I swallowed it down. I couldn’t confess. Telling Darren the truth would only relieve my own guilt.
And what I felt, what I wanted for him, none of that mattered. The country did. The people did.
But I didn’t.
I swallowed, my mouth full of sand as I spoke. “Some things will never make sense.”
Darren sighed and lifted his head. “I’m going to the training courts. I can’t just sit here waiting.”
I was standing, pulling on a pair of breeches and a tunic. “I’ll join you.”
“Ryiah.” His eyes found mine, and I could see how fatigued the prince really was. He must not have slept at all. “You don’t have to do this. What my brother said—”
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