Dreaming Eli

by JoMarie DeGioia

  “I don’t want to talk about Bill tonight, Cupcake.”

  Cupcake. God, she loved it when he called her that silly nickname.

  “Me, neither.”

  “Then let’s go upstairs and quit talking altogether.”

  She let the heat of his words, of his eyes that now held the promise she knew he could deliver, send her apprehensions crumbling like day-old scones.

  There would be time enough to regret her decision to date this guy.

  When he left Cypress for good and forgot all about her.

  Chapter 20

  Eli urged Caro up the stairs and back to the bed she’d helped him pick out. He stripped off her cute Sweet Escape uniform and revealing the real treats underneath. She smelled so good, like the stuff she baked and a subtle scent he knew he would always associate with her. She was a sweet escape for him in Cypress. From the first.

  She turned the aggressor suddenly, putting her eager hands on his body until he was as naked as she was. He was hard as a rock, and wanted to be inside her so badly he ached with it. Their conversation downstairs, about one of his foster mothers and about Bill’s job offer, was forgotten as she fell to her knees and took him in her mouth. He couldn’t think of anything but her hands stroking him. Her tongue and lips caressed his shaft and he braced his legs apart. Running his fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes and arched toward her.

  “God, Caro,” he groaned. “Damn.”

  She murmured something he couldn’t quite catch and took nearly all of him. His orgasm was coming, pulling everything inside him tight and hot as he moaned her name again. When her hands reached around to grab his ass, he lost it. He somehow managed to remain standing as he came so hard he almost cried.

  When he caught his breath, he looked down at her. Her expression was proud, her eyes bright and her delectable mouth in a smile as she gazed up at him. Reaching down, he took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

  “You drive me crazy, Cupcake. Do you know that?”

  “I try.”

  He kissed her, running his hands over every inch of her he could reach. Boston and Cypress and the rest of it didn’t matter tonight. Tonight he would make love with the girl who made him feel so damn good he could almost believe he was worth it.

  He got his lips on her in the big bed, all over her body until she begged him for what he would gladly give her. Her climax was intense, and when he was deep inside her? He was seized with the rightness of it. Something about Caro made him feel emotions he couldn’t even name.

  After, in the little while they had together before she had to head back to her apartment, they held each other in the soft half-light. The days were getting shorter, even if the daytime hours still brought the heat. This was so nice, and he just reveled in the smell of her skin and the feel of her body pressed against his side.

  “How long were you at Chapman?” she asked, her voice soft and drowsy.

  “Three years.” He kissed her brow. “Why?”

  “Just wondering at that job offer. Were you expecting anything like that?”

  “I was hoping for something like that.”

  She was quiet, and he wondered if she was wondering about his plans.

  “I hadn’t told him I want it,” he said.

  “But you do owe him an answer. You’ve worked for him for three years.”

  “Three years, yeah.”

  It struck him then. Three years. That whatever-it-was that made her so sad that day at the lake happened just as long ago.

  “Caro, what happened to you three years ago?”

  She stiffened, and then let out a breath. “I was engaged. He cheated. End of story.”

  “Not if you’re still upset about it three years later.”

  She sat up and drew her legs to her chest, grabbing her hair and doing that twist thing as she pulled it over to one side. “He died. In a car crash two weeks before the wedding.”

  “Shit.” He sat up and turned towards her. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  She shook her head. “He was cheating on me, which I found out at the same time I found out about the car crash. It sucked all around.”

  He was dumbfounded. First, that she’d lost her fiancé and then discovered that the asshole had cheated on her.

  “It’s no wonder you’re still twisted up about it.”

  She looked at him, and in the semi-dark her eyes were shiny. “I’m not mourning him, Eli.”

  “That’s good. Isn’t it?”

  She nodded, biting her lower lip. “Yeah.”

  He could read people, and he could tell she was sure as hell mourning something. “You can tell me anything, you know. I don’t sit at the table under a tree, sipping sweet tea and trading secrets.”

  That got a small laugh out of her. She took in a deep breath, he’d seen her do that a few times before, and faced him fully.

  “I was pregnant, Eli.” She closed her eyes for a beat and opened them again. “I lost the baby. That was what I was sad about that day. It was three years to the day.”

  Eli couldn’t manage to get a word out, which was a first in his memory. Damn, that sucked. His heart twisted for what she’d lost.

  “Aw, baby,” he finally said. “I’m so sorry.”

  He drew her close and held her as she curled into him. This embrace was something else, too. Completely different from the frantic heat and passion they’d just shared. He realized he wanted to take away her pain, but he was just the guy giving her a little bit of fun in her life. It struck him then. She’d said she’d needed fun when she’d opened her bakery. She must have still been depressed over her loss back then. How couldn’t she be?

  “I never told anyone,” she whispered against his shoulder.

  His heart froze, and then began to pound. This was her secret. A heartbreak she’d kept to herself.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  She nodded, not saying anything more. As he held her close, soothing her with gentle kisses that grew in intensity until they made love again, he could guess what was happening to him. He wanted to take away her pain. He wanted to make her smile. Make her laugh. Make her moan. He suspected he might be falling in love with her.

  It was a good thing she would head back to her apartment in a little while. Otherwise he was liable to say something to completely change the rules of their arrangement. They were only dating each other. That was true. She knew he wasn’t sure about staying in Cypress and she had family here that anchored her in ways he couldn’t even imagine.

  He’d seen it at the festival. The easy love among all of them despite the fact that she didn’t see her siblings or nieces as often as she’d like to. He knew her parents loved her, too. That they’d supported her after the horrific end of her wedding plans. They would have supported her with that more profound loss, but for reasons he couldn’t fathom she hadn’t told them. Hadn’t told anyone before him, remarkable as that was.

  She roused herself and kissed him, gazing up at him with those changeable eyes. “Thanks for dinner. And for everything else.”

  He smiled and stroked her cheek with the backs of his knuckles. “Anytime, Cupcake.”

  ***

  One week had passed since the inevitable had smacked Caro right in the face. She was in love with Eli.

  That was the only explanation she could come up with for why she’d told him about the miscarriage. She could blame it on the sex, and that he’d nearly made her cry with the pleasure he’d given her. But there was something in him that drew her, almost since that day out by the lake.

  He hadn’t said anything more about it since, or about the Chapman job offer for that matter. But on those rare times she’d glimpse that faraway look on his face, she’d known he was thinking about heading back to Boston. She shouldn’t be surprised. Hadn’t she known all along that what they had was just for now?

  Luckily, she had plenty of other things to think about, and a very good means to occupy herself with the bakery. Orders had come in for
a few cakes and their fall items continued to be very popular. It was October at last, and the mornings and evenings were much cooler and less humid than they’d been just a couple of weeks ago.

  She’d gotten in a run this week, something she hadn’t been able to rouse the least interest in since sometime in August. Eli had dragged her out with him on Sunday morning, but with his long legs he’d had to slow himself to stay with her. Luckily they’d only run for about an hour and then climbed into the huge tub in his master bathroom. Oh, what that man could do with a handful of body wash.

  “There’s that expression I’ve seen on your face a lot lately,” Jane teased. “Hmm, I wonder just who put that there?”

  “Never mind.” Caro wiped down the kitchen counters as they finished up their prep for the next day. “Do you think we’ve got enough of the biscotti?”

  “I can slice and bake more in the morning if we need to.”

  “Thanks. That should work.”

  Jane made her way out the back of the bakery while Caro put the few aprons in the bin for the laundry service to pick up in the morning. It was just after four o’clock, so she sat at her little desk in the back and went online to pay the bills. She thought back to when she’d first opened, and how the bills had seemed astronomical when compared to the money coming in. That was no longer the case, thank God, but it would be silly not to keep that in perspective. Things do get better.

  She’d gotten over Brad in a heartbeat, and over his cheating almost as quickly. The miscarriage had been much harder on her, and she acknowledged the fact at least to herself, it might have been worse since she’d never shared her loss with anyone at the time.

  There seemed to be babies everywhere in Cypress, which she’d seen at the festival. Tammy Chapman’s little ravioli was a gorgeous dark-haired cherub and Claire was about to deliver her Baby Chapman any day now. Jessie had only touched on the subject, but Caro suspected that she and Noah would want to add to their family soon. And she’d heard whispers that Harmony and Rick might have something to announce in the coming months as well.

  Oliver, funny guy that he was, called it a plague of babies. He and Todd didn’t even have a dog together yet, so Caro gave him a pass for his attitude on the subject. They weren’t in that place yet, she supposed.

  She wasn’t in that place either, was she? Nope. Not even a little bit. She was dating a guy with a clear expiration date stamped on his beautiful backside. There was no way she could be thinking about having his pretty blond children.

  She gasped and straightened in her chair. An ache settled in her chest, a yearning for something she hadn’t even known she’d wanted. It was like when she’d lost the baby. The feeling of mourning something she’d barely had time to recognize before it was gone. It was like that with Eli.

  She loved him, not that she would ever tell him. Yet it would be over soon. Of that, she had no doubt. He would go back to Boston and take up his new job. He would return everything he’d borrowed, except her heart. That he would take back with him. No relationship. No love. Sure as heck no baby.

  “No future,” she murmured.

  Shutting down the computer, she tidied up and handled a few last minute things before setting the alarm and heading out back to her car. The yoga studio called to her, so she grabbed her stuff out of the trunk and headed to the four thirty class.

  She was just rolling out her mat when Cassie Chapman strolled in. “Hi, Caro!”

  “Hi, Cassie. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  Cassie brushed a thick dark curl off her forehead and sighed. “My brother is a tough customer.”

  Caro knew that Cassie ran the kids’ program out at the Adventure Trails for her brother, Jake. She also knew that the siblings were very close.

  “Jake must be getting excited for the baby,” Caro said.

  “He can hardly sit still! Not that he’s much for sitting still.”

  “How much longer?”

  Cassie scrunched her face as she thought. “Maybe a week? I’m not sure.” She jumped as her cell phone buzzed. Drawing it out, she looked at the screen and let out a yelp. “Speak of the little darling! Claire’s in labor!”

  The yoga instructor came in at that moment and Cassie waved a hand at her. “Sorry to run, but my brother’s wife is in labor. We have to rally the Chapmans to keep him from losing his mind.”

  “Give them my best!” Caro called.

  Cassie said she would and hurried out of the studio. A few of the women remarked about the blessed event, at which Caro nodded. The yogi began the class, and Caro did her best to move with her breath and follow the postures.

  Her mind was so cluttered today, it was tough to listen to her body as she moved. To find her center and focus. Finally, the instructor’s soothing voice and the tinkling New Age music began to relax her. By the time the hour was up, she felt decidedly better. Her energy was still scattered though, and her mind took up its circles again as she grabbed her bag and left the Fitness Center.

  She checked her phone and saw that Eli had left her a text.

  What are you up to, Cupcake?

  Smiling, she texted back. Just got out of yoga.

  Learn a few new moves I should know about?

  Feeling those tingles that only Eli gave her, she answered him. That’s for me to know…

  There was a long pause. I’ll be home by six.

  She wouldn’t play games with him. Not now. I’ll be there.

  She drove home to shower and dress for dinner and whatever at Eli’s house. As she got ready, she thought back to Claire and her coming bundle of joy. She was thrilled for Claire. She really was. She and Jake had tried for a long time to get pregnant, and Caro wished them only the best. Her heart did ache a little bit. She’d made enough space in her body at yoga to recognize that and own it.

  Seeing proof of yet another baby didn’t make her miss her own lost little angel, though. No.

  It made her miss the ones she would never have with Eli.

  Chapter 21

  Eli was just coming back to the sales room after his last tour of the day when Jessie came flying in behind him.

  “Claire’s in labor!” she cried. A big smile was on her face. “I knew it. I just knew it!”

  “How?”

  Jessie stopped for a second, and then waved both her hands. “I don’t know. Something she’d said about her back.”

  “Her back?”

  “Oh, good.” Oliver came over to them. “I’m not the only one without a clue about this baby stuff.”

  “But you were in the labor room with Tammy,” Jessie said.

  A horrified expression crossed Oliver’s face. “Only for a few minutes until Ben got there. Girl, please. There was no way I would have stayed.”

  “You would have if Tammy asked you,” Jessie said with a sharp nod.

  “Yes, well let’s not even think about it,” Oliver said.

  Eli wondered about all that baby stuff as they argued back and forth. He’d never been around any pregnant women, and he’d always thanked his lucky stars that he’d never slipped up and brought an unwanted child into the world. He’d been one himself, and he was always very careful to never do that to a kid. When he had kids, it would be different.

  Whoa. His stomach dropped to his shoes. Where the hell had that come from. Since when did he ever think about having kids? It had to be all the hormones in the air. They were obviously making him nuts.

  “Where did they take her?” Oliver asked Jessie.

  “The Women’s Hospital up in Orlando. That’s what Cassie said when she came barreling in here to grab Ben and Rick.”

  Eli realized then that his boss had left while he’d been out. He’d hoped to talk to him about Bill’s offer, now that a week had passed and more info was trickling in about the newest project over on the east side of the property. He wasn’t comfortable keeping anything from his boss, especially given the contentious relationship he had with his father. With the arrival of Bill’s newest g
randchild’s imminent, the man would probably be heading down to Cypress soon.

  “What’s up with the face, handsome?” Oliver asked him.

  “Hmm?” Eli looked around and saw that Jessie was gone. “What?”

  “You looked about a million miles away, Eli.” Oliver gasped. “Don’t tell me you’re counting weeks in your head.”

  “Counting for what?” It hit him then. “No, I’m not.”

  “Whew.” Oliver held up his hands. “Not that I’m against babies, but it seems to be an epidemic around here. First Tammy, then Claire.”

  “That’s hardly an epidemic, Oliver.”

  “Still, once hormones start flying?” He held a hand against his flat abs. “I’m just glad I don’t have the equipment.”

  Eli snorted a laugh. “Oliver, you kill me.”

  Oliver grinned. “At least the day is over. Leave it to Claire to time it just right. She’d said she put in the end-of-month numbers just yesterday.”

  Eli just nodded, his mind on the couple of conversations he had to have and soon. First, there was Bill. He had to tell him his decision about the job offer. Secondly, there was Rick. He had to know about it, too. Third? Third was Caro, and he didn’t know what the hell he would tell her. About the job and about his feelings.

  If his foster placements all had something in common, it was that feelings should never be brought up or dwelled on. He’d learned to suck it up pretty early on. He would just do the same now.

  With all the baby talk, he had to wonder if Caro ever wanted to try again. She was an affectionate, caring person. Everyone only had nice things to say about her, and he’d never met anyone quite like her. Spunky and independent, yet loyal and loving. She would make an incredible mother someday.

  Maybe it was well past the time he should have a serious conversation with her. He never made plans. In fact, he prided himself on the talent for always being ready to bounce that he’d cultivated. Living out of suitcases, or backpacks, had given him the skills to roll with the punches. Maybe he had been settling in back in Boston for the last three years. Maybe he had been starting to think about a future at Chapman Financial. That didn’t mean he was looking to start that future now.