Your Bed or Mine?

by Candy Halliday

  He still looked puzzled.

  Alicia said, “I was hoping if you and I went out occasionally, maybe everyone would stop seeing me as the threatening divorcée waiting to pounce on their husbands.”

  Rick laughed. “I see,” he said.

  They started walking again.

  “And then Zada rushed over and asked me to back off where you were concerned.”

  His head jerked in her direction. “Really?”

  “I told Zada I’d do her a favor, if she’d do one for me and invite me to join the Housewives’ Fantasy Club. The minute it spreads through the neighborhood that Jen, Tish, and Zada have accepted me, I’ll be taken off the Woodberry Park blackball list.”

  Rick said, “But I heard Zada refused to invite you to their meeting.”

  Alicia said, “Exactly. And that’s why I’m strolling down the walking path with you right now.”

  Rick stopped walking.

  The expression on his face said he knew exactly where the conversation was heading.

  “Look, Alicia,” he said. “I might have teased Zada about you yesterday, but I’m not interested in purposely making her jealous in any way, shape, or form. I wouldn’t do that to her. First, because that’s not who I am. Second, Zada had a womanizer for a father, and I don’t think she’s ever gotten over it.”

  Alicia wasn’t ready to give up yet.

  “Not even if it means you keeping Simon and the house?”

  “No,” Rick said. “I know Zada and I are playing games with each other right now, but that’s one game I’m not interested in playing.”

  Alicia gave in and said, “You’re a good guy, Rick. Zada obviously doesn’t know you very well or she wouldn’t have asked me to back off.”

  “That’s been our problem all along,” Rick said. “We should have waited until we knew each other better before we got married.”

  “I can certainly identify with that statement,” Alicia said, but she had no intention of elaborating any further.

  Nor did she have any intention of telling Rick, that regardless of his refusal to play her let’s-make-Zada-jealous game, she wasn’t ready to back off yet. She’d accomplished exactly what she’d wanted to accomplish when she saw Rick leave the house and head for the walking trail: She’d let him know exactly where she stood.

  She was also willing to bet Rick would never repeat one word of their conversation. Not to Zada. Or anyone else. Rick was just that kind of guy. Straight up and honest.

  “Well,” Alicia said, confident that her mission was over. “Since I can’t persuade you to help me further my cause with an invitation to the Housewives’ Fantasy Club, I can at least let you enjoy the rest of your walk in peace.”

  Rick laughed. “I didn’t say you couldn’t walk with us, Alicia. I just said I wasn’t interested in making Zada jealous.”

  Simon growled in disagreement.

  Alicia jumped back.

  “Simon!” Rick scolded, jerking on his leash.

  Alicia said, “There’s no need to keep scolding poor Simon. Dogs and kids never like me. I think they can sense I’m uncomfortable around them.”

  “Seriously?” Rick asked.

  Alicia nodded. “I was bitten by a dog as a child. And I’ve never really been around kids.”

  “I’m an only child, too,” Rick said.

  “Oh, I’m not an only child,” Alicia said. “I have a twin brother. We just have a hypochondriac for a mother. My mother’s germ phobia kept us away from other kids. And her allergies prevented us from ever having pets.”

  Rick said, “You never thought about getting a pet as an adult?”

  Alicia laughed and shook her head. “A goldfish, maybe,” she told him. “But that would be the only acceptable pet on my list.”

  Rick’s cell phone rang.

  Alicia saw her chance.

  She waved good-bye and hurried off.

  But she couldn’t keep from smiling as she walked away. She’d seen Zada watching from the window. Felt those dark-brown daggers aimed at her back.

  Too damn bad.

  Zada could have completely avoided any angst from her.

  All she’d asked Zada for was a simple invitation!

  Rick placed his cell phone to his ear when Alicia walked away. Joe didn’t waste any time filling him in on the scoop.

  “I thought you’d like to know I just watched my wife and Jen go through your front door a few minutes ago.”

  “Perfect,” Rick said. “At least someone’s there to call 911. Zada’s probably passed out on the floor.”

  Joe said, “You really went through with it?”

  “Yup,” Rick said proudly. “The kitchen. The guest bedroom where I’m sleeping. Even the guest bathroom.”

  “I have to tell you, Rick,” Joe said. “I truly didn’t think you had it in you, buddy.”

  That makes two of us.

  But Rick said, “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do, Joe.”

  “I’m sure that’s what Zada’s thinking about now,” Joe said and laughed.

  “Guaranteed,” Rick said.

  “What do you think Zada’s next move will be?”

  Rick said, “We could both avoid going into the living room, but we can’t avoid using the kitchen. She might hold out for the rest of today, but Zada will fold by tomorrow and clean up my mess. Then maybe we can sit down like two rational adults, and I can remind her that I’ll gladly buy her a place of her own anywhere she wants.”

  “And you really think she’ll accept your offer?”

  “No,” Rick said. “But I can always hope.”

  “Hey, the girls are coming back out,” Joe said. “Gotta run.”

  Rick closed his cell phone. He dropped it back into his shorts’ pocket. And looked down at Simon.

  “I think we’d better extend our walk longer than usual this morning for safety’s sake, boy,” Rick told the dog. “After the mess I’ve made and Alicia showing up, we need to give our master plenty of time to calm down before we go back home.”

  Zada stood watching at the kitchen door.

  When she saw Rick and Simon start through the backyard, she jumped back from the door and hurried across the kitchen to the table. When Rick and Simon walked into the kitchen, she was sitting calmly on one of the now cushionless kitchen chairs, thumbing through her latest issue of Oprah’s O magazine.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Rick bend down and unfasten Simon’s leash from his collar. Simon immediately trotted over and placed his big head on the magazine she was holding in her lap.

  “Did you have a good walk?” Zada asked sweetly, rubbing Simon’s head.

  “We had a great walk,” Rick said.

  I just bet you did! Zada fumed.

  But she said, “I was talking to Simon.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed,” Rick said, “Simon can’t talk. I was answering for him.”

  “Simon talks to me all the time,” Zada said in baby talk. “Don’t you, my sweet buddy?” She gently stroked the big dog’s ears, still never once looking at Rick. And if he thought for one second she would give him the satisfaction of even uttering Alicia’s name, he was as crazy as she’d been for egging Alicia on in the first place.

  Two seconds.

  Five seconds.

  Ten seconds.

  “Well?” Rick said, just as she knew he would.

  Zada finally looked at him. “Well, what?”

  “Cut the crap, Zada. Don’t you have anything to say?”

  “About what?”

  Rick’s ears turned deep red.

  Zada almost laughed out loud.

  “About your challenge today,” Rick said. “As if you didn’t know exactly what I meant.”

  Zada blinked innocently. “What about it?”

  Rick said, “Don’t lie and say you weren’t shocked that I beat you to the punch and trashed the kitchen before you and your domestic diva buddies could trash it yourselves.”

  “Do I
appear to be shocked?”

  “Yes,” Rick said. “You appear to be so flipping shocked you can’t even carry on a simple conversation.”

  Zada’s face turned red this time.

  Rick did laugh out loud.

  “And in case you haven’t gone upstairs yet,” Rick said, “I also beat you to my bedroom and my bathroom.”

  Zada tossed her hair nonchalantly.

  “Then that was your mistake,” she told him. “We agreed the bedrooms were off limits.”

  The look on his face was priceless.

  “When did we agree to that?” he boomed.

  It was a lie, of course.

  But Zada was counting on Rick not remembering the conversation they had in the courthouse hallway word for word. He had, after all, been standing there like a zombie.

  “We agreed the bedrooms were off limits while we were arguing over the king-size bed,” Zada said with a straight face. “I said flipping a coin for the master bedroom wasn’t a topic for discussion. My bed, I said. My bedroom. And that bedrooms were off limits. You agreed, and said, quite smugly if I remember correctly, ‘For now.’”

  The truth she’d sprinkled in with the lie worked.

  “Damn,” Rick mumbled under his breath.

  “What did you say?” Zada couldn’t resist asking.

  “Nothing,” Rick grumbled. “I didn’t say a thing.”

  He walked out of the kitchen shaking his head.

  Zada stuffed a hand in her mouth to keep from laughing.

  “Gee, was it something I said then?” she called out as he headed down the hallway.

  Simon’s ears pricked. He whimpered, then trotted after Rick.

  Turncoat, Zada thought. Until she heard the doorbell.

  “Don’t worry,” Rick yelled out. “My legs still aren’t broken. I’ll get the door.”

  That better not be Alicia! Zada vowed.

  Until she heard the last voice she was expecting.

  “You obviously won the house in the divorce, Rick. But what have you done with Zada?”

  Zada jumped up from the chair.

  Mom!

  No! No! No!

  Yes, her mother had left a dozen messages on her voice mail since Friday. And yes, she did intend to call her mother back. After she figured out a way to explain what had happened in court. A way that would keep her mother and her sister from whispering behind their hands that she was every bit as human as they were, and had taken Rick back.

  “Calm down, Nora,” she heard Rick say. “Zada’s in the kitchen. Go see for yourself.”

  The kitchen!

  This kitchen?

  Have you lost your freaking mind?

  Nora Thornton breezed into the kitchen before Zada could take the first step forward to stop her. Zada’s sister, Sally, breezed in right behind her, dragging her two squirming sons by the hand. The eight-year-old managed to wrangle away from his mother first. The six-year-old quickly followed.

  Sally didn’t seem to notice the boys had jerked free from her grasp. Neither did Grandma Nora. They were both standing in the middle of Zada’s destroyed kitchen, shocked expressions on their faces.

  “Boy, were you wrong, Mom,” eight-year-old Tommy said, looking around the kitchen. “Me and Timmy could never be as messy as Aunt Zada.”

  Sally’s face flushed.

  “Timmy and I,” she corrected. She looked back at Zada and shrugged. “Kids.”

  “Yeah, kids,” Zada said, frowning at her sister. “Funny how they only repeat exactly what you never should have said.”

  “This is no time for bickering, you two,” Nora scolded.

  The boys ran off down the hall calling Simon’s name.

  “Well?” Nora said, frowning at Zada. “Can I assume a pack of burglars ransacking your house is the reason you haven’t returned my calls? You had to know Sally and I have been worried to death about you. The last we heard from you, you were headed off to divorce court.”

  Before Zada could answer, Nora continued, “And what’s Rick doing here if you’re here? You did get the house, I hope.”

  “Not exactly,” Zada said.

  “You mean Rick got the house?” Nora frowned again. “Then what are you doing here? I thought if Rick got the house, you had to move out immediately.”

  “Mom,” Sally said. “Give Zada a chance to answer.” “I,” Zada said. “Well, I mean Rick and I …”

  Sally’s eyebrow came up.

  “You see,” Zada began again.

  “Yes,” Sally said with a knowing smile. “I think I do see what’s going on here.”

  Zada said, “Rick and I are not back together, Sally.”

  “So you are divorced?” Nora asked.

  “Not exactly,” Zada said.

  “Well what exactly is going on, Zada?” Nora demanded. “Stop talking in riddles!”

  Zada said, “The judge won’t grant the divorce until we reach a property settlement.”

  Nora looked around the kitchen. “So you’ve decided to do what? Divide everything right down the middle? Including Simon’s dog food? Grain for grain?”

  “Very funny, Mom,” Zada told her. “Rick and I have ninety days to reach a property settlement. Rick moved back in to …”

  Sally gasped. “What did you say?” She looked at Nora, then back at Zada. “My ears must be playing tricks on me,” she said. “You? The woman who swore she would never let any man move back in if he moved out, let Rick move back in?”

  “Temporarily,” Zada stressed.

  Sally laughed. “That’s your story and you’re sticking to it. Right?”

  Zada groped for an answer.

  Sally reached out and grabbed Nora’s arm.

  “Come on, Mom,” she said, pulling Nora out of the kitchen. “We know Zada’s safe now. Let’s give the lovebirds some privacy.”

  “‘Lovebirds’?” Nora repeated. “Oh,” she said when she realized what Sally was implying.

  Lovebirds?

  Lovefreakingbirds!

  “Sally, come back here!” Zada yelled.

  Zada hurried down the hall after them.

  Sally pushed Nora through the open front door.

  “Sally!” Zada yelled again.

  But Rick stepped out of nowhere, blocking her path.

  “Is there a problem?” he asked, grinning at her.

  “Yes,” Zada said. “I’m looking at it.”

  She pushed Rick out of her way.

  “Get in the car!” she heard Sally yell.

  The boys stopped wrestling on the front lawn. They both sprinted for the driveway. Zada reached the minivan just as Sally was backing up. Sally’s window slid down before she drove off.

  “We’re really happy you took Rick back, Zada,” Sally called out, waving madly. “Call us in a few days when your second honeymoon is over.”

  Second honeymoon?

  Second honeyfreakingmoon!

  Zada was livid.

  So livid, she pitched a mad stomping fit, right in the middle of her driveway. She’d never been any more angry, until she glanced over her shoulder.

  Rick was walking toward her, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Just curious,” he said, fishing his keys out of his jeans pocket. “But was that some mystic tribal fertility dance you were doing? You know, for our second honeymoon?”

  Zada took a threatening step in his direction.

  Rick threw his hands up and stepped back.

  “Hey!” he said, still grinning. “I was only kidding.”

  The look on her face must have scared him.

  Rick’s grin disappeared.

  “Not that you care,” he said, his expression serious now. “But I’m going to the training center, and I won’t be back until late. We have a new class starting tomorrow morning. I need to help Scrappy get things ready.”

  Zada didn’t answer.

  She whirled around.

  She stomped down the driveway.

  And marched across the street.
/>   Jen caught up with her as she reached Tish’s porch.

  “Was that Sally’s minivan I just saw driving off?”

  “No,” Zada said. “That was my worst nightmare driving off. Sally and Mom. Both of whom Rick happily invited into the kitchen-from-hell to see me, which humiliated me to no end. And then Sally, of course, came to the immediate conclusion I had taken Rick back.”

  “You poor thing,” Jen said as Tish opened her front door. “I’d kill myself if anyone saw my kitchen in such a mess.”

  “You’d kill yourself if someone found a measly crumb on your kitchen counter,” Tish teased.

  Her expression turned serious when she looked at Zada.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Zada looked back over her shoulder as the Hummer backed down the driveway. She pointed. “He’s what’s wrong!”

  “Surprise, surprise,” Tish said, but she stepped aside.

  Zada and Jen walked through the door.

  “I’m so angry right now,” Zada said, “you may have to bail me out of jail for first-degree murder.”

  They all three headed for Tish’s kitchen.

  “Joe and the boys are at the clubhouse pool,” Tish said when Zada flopped down at the table. “Take a deep breath. Calm yourself down. And tell us what happened.”

  Chapter 10

  Rick felt like a first-class jerk.

  First, for sending Nora and Sally into the kitchen.

  Second, for teasing Zada about Sally’s assumption.

  He knew Zada gave Sally a hard time about her husband. He knew Sally was loving rubbing Zada’s nose in the fact she had let him move back in.

  But the hurt look on Zada’s face had said it all.

  He’d crossed the line, embarrassing her in front of her mother and sister.

  The realization that he’d hurt Zada by walking out—far more than he’d ever made her angry—hit Rick like being mowed down by a two-ton truck.

  He started to turn the Hummer around and go back to apologize. But he knew Zada would never listen. Not right now. Not when she was still so angry at him.

  He’d apologize when he got back from the center.

  Tell her he was sorry. Ask her to forgive him for being such an ass.