Provenance

by Carla Laureano

  “I hate to jump the line . . .”

  Delia leaned forward and winked. “Advantages of being a friend of the owner.”

  Kendall’s guilt wouldn’t let her choose anything complicated, so she said, “A peppermint tea would be great actually.”

  “Coming right up.” Delia went to the hot water dispenser at the bar and came back a minute later with a paper cup. “Come on. We’ll grab that little table in the corner.”

  Kendall studied Delia as she wove her way through her coffee shop. Despite her youthful, alternative appearance, there was something settled, even wise, about her. Those were two things Kendall wasn’t sure she’d ever be. Or maybe it was just that Main Street Mocha was Delia’s home, her business, her happy place.

  “I am so glad you’re okay,” Delia said when they were seated in the corner, away from listening ears. “When Gabe came in looking for you, I was afraid you might be stranded somewhere.”

  “I would have been, if not for you. Thanks for sending him out to the house after me. It would have been a long, cold night if he hadn’t shown up when he did.”

  Delia nodded, saying nothing, just looking at Kendall in that focused way of hers.

  Kendall sipped her tea and tried to figure out how to broach the subject.

  Finally Delia sighed and cocked her head. “Okay, Kendall, spill. What happened?”

  Heat rose to Kendall’s cheeks for maybe the ninetieth time today. What had happened to the self-assured woman who didn’t need anyone’s validation? “How do you know something happened?”

  “Because you just told me it did.” Delia sobered. “Are you okay? Did you . . . do something you regret? Did Gabe do something you regret?”

  Kendall’s eyes widened when she realized what Delia was implying, though she was warmed by her sudden sharp tone. She was ready to jump behind Kendall if she needed the support. “No, nothing like that. I mean, we spent the night together, but we didn’t sleep together.”

  Delia exhaled. “Okay, good. I didn’t think that was Gabe’s style, but sometimes you don’t know people as well as you think you do.”

  “But I did kiss him.”

  “Oh.” Her mouth rounded in surprise. “And? He wasn’t bad, was he? You’re not trying to figure out how to let him down easy?”

  Kendall laughed at the scandalized look on Delia’s face. Clearly this had been a topic of conversation at one point among the women, though it only took one look at Gabe to understand why. She lowered her voice. “No, it wasn’t bad. It was . . . good. Really good. Like, put on the brakes before this goes too far sort of good.”

  “So where’s the hang-up?”

  Kendall bit her lip, not sure how to explain the situation. “This morning, he was distant, like he regretted everything. I know he’s really religious, but it’s not like there’s anything in the Bible against kissing, is there?”

  Delia’s brow furrowed. “No, thank goodness. But what do you mean, really religious? That’s not exactly how I would describe him.”

  “I just mean his faith is obviously important to him. How many guys would purposely not take advantage of the situation? No one around, things heat up a little . . .”

  “Well, yeah, that’s Gabe. His faith does mean a lot to him, and I’m glad to hear that it applies to all areas of his life. Frankly, that’s kind of hard to find.” Delia studied her thoughtfully. “Kendall, are you a believer?”

  Kendall shrank back from the question and cupped her hands around her tea. “I mean, I believe God exists. But I don’t go to church or anything.”

  “So you wouldn’t call yourself a Christian?”

  Kendall choked on her mouthful of peppermint tea. “No. Definitely not.”

  Delia rubbed the side of her nose. “Yeah. I think this is a conversation you need to have with him and not with me.”

  “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

  Delia reached for Kendall’s hand and gripped it hard. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Then why won’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”

  Delia looked like she didn’t want to answer, but finally she sighed. “Okay, you cannot be mad at me if I got this wrong, because you really need to talk to Gabe. But if I had to guess, I’d say that he’s putting on the brakes either because you’re leaving soon or because you’re not a Christian.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?” Kendall blinked at the other woman. “So it doesn’t matter how much we like each other or how compatible we are—he’s not interested because I’m not a church person?”

  Delia smiled gently, but there was a tinge of sadness in her eyes. “It’s not a church or no-church thing, Kendall. Christians generally only date people who believe the same thing because it would be like . . . trying to operate the same machine while using two different manuals. You’ll inevitably have conflicts because you’re approaching life in completely different ways.”

  “And that’s really important to him?”

  “I can’t speak for him. But I do remember him saying he and his last girlfriend broke up because they wanted and believed different things. So yes. I imagine that could be a factor.”

  “Wow.” Kendall wasn’t sure what else to say. She felt blindsided by the revelation, and she couldn’t decide if she felt better or worse. So maybe he really did like her, really was attracted to her, but he’d realized after their conversation that there couldn’t be a future between them.

  “I’m sorry, Kendall. I really do think you two should talk, however awkward it might be.”

  “No, it’s fine. I thought that maybe I’d done something wrong. But now I know it’s because I am something wrong.” Kendall pushed back her chair. “Thanks for the information. I appreciate it.”

  “Kendall—”

  She waved Delia down. “I’m okay. Thanks for the tea.” She turned on her heel and marched as quickly as she could out of the coffee shop, determined to make it outside before hot tears spilled from her eyes onto her cheeks.

  That’s what she got for not leaving it alone, for pushing boundaries that had no business being pushed. Because now it wasn’t nervousness or fear that she felt; it was hopelessness. She might not be entirely sure what she wanted from Gabe, but he’d made it more than clear he wanted nothing from her.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  AFTER DROPPING KENDALL OFF at the B and B, Gabe went straight home and was nearly knocked off his feet by an overly excited Irish mastiff. He’d had Luke come over and feed and play with the beast, but it wasn’t the same as having his master home. Gabe chuckled from his position on the floor and scratched the dog until Fitz was nothing more than a squirming pile of happiness.

  “Ready to eat?” he asked. The dog’s ears perked up, and Fitz followed him into the kitchen, where the bowl was conspicuously empty . . . as it always was. Gabe scooped out the food and filled the bowl, but inwardly, his mind had gone back to Kendall. He wasn’t sure what to think about how they’d left things. They’d never really managed to talk about what came after their two passionate kisses, because they’d gone into a religious discussion and then found the letters from Kendall’s mom. This morning, things had been more than awkward . . . even before she’d practically leapt from his truck so she didn’t have to deal with his goodbye.

  That had to be his fault. He shouldn’t have taken her hand on the way back. It had been a moment of weakness, a sudden need to reestablish a connection with her, even though he had no business doing so.

  Her coolness should make things easier for him. If she wanted to put the brakes on, it saved him from the hard, messy conversation of why they shouldn’t take their relationship any further. Even if that was the last thing his heart actually wanted.

  He blew out his breath and swore softly. There wasn’t any point in trying to deny it, trying to call it something else to preserve his self-respect. He was falling in love with Kendall Green.

  “Well, you’ve really managed to step in it this time.” The very thing h
e said he would never do again, he went and did again.

  But it wasn’t fair to compare Kendall to Madeline. They were nothing alike. For one thing, the only detail he and Madeline had in common was their choice of profession. He and Kendall, on the other hand, shared a sense of humor, a sense of history, and from the way Kendall had been singing along at his gig, the same taste in music. Never underestimate the importance of radio station harmony in a relationship. And yet Kendall was so wounded by her past experiences, he wasn’t sure she would even consider the possibility that she needed God in her life. So far she’d been taught that the only person she could depend on was herself.

  And now, by pulling away, he was just reinforcing that belief.

  He groaned. What did he do now? The one thing he couldn’t do was disappear after he’d said he would help her uncover everything she could about her past. The first step to doing that was finding someone who could cut a hole in the ceiling tomorrow morning. He pulled up his contacts list on his phone and scrolled through the names and numbers. There. Mike Millan. He was a retired contractor who did handyman work in the area, small jobs that other contractors couldn’t get to because of their workloads. He also lived right in town. He dialed the number and was pleased when Mike picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey, Mike, it’s Gabe. I have a favor to ask of you.” He explained the situation and what they wanted done.

  “You had me at ‘searching for hidden treasure,’ but ticking off Phil Burton is a bonus. I’ll be there at nine.”

  “Perfect. Thanks. I owe you one.” Gabe clicked off, satisfied that at least that was lined up. But even if they were to uncover something that would help them find out the history of the home and the identity of its architect, it didn’t tell Kendall anything else about what had happened to her mom and why she had never been brought back to Jasper Lake. For that, they needed something else entirely.

  Could he . . . ? Would Kendall blame him for invading her life or thank him for it?

  No, that wasn’t the way he should approach this idea. Kendall needed to know, once and for all, the truth of her own provenance. She might not thank him for it, might even be angry, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do. Gabe found his laptop in the other room and searched the web for several minutes, then picked up the phone. In mere minutes, the plan was set in motion.

  For better or for worse.

  Kendall didn’t make contact with him for the rest of the day, leaving Gabe checking his phone compulsively like an idiot. Finally he texted her that their contractor would meet them the next morning at nine, so he would pick her up at the B and B. He expected some sort of reply or comment about how she was excited to see what was in the house, but all he got back from her was a thumbs-up symbol.

  She had completely detached.

  “For the best,” he told himself out loud. Fitz cocked his furry head as if he didn’t believe him. That was okay. He didn’t believe himself either.

  When Gabe couldn’t stand his restlessness any longer, he pulled on his coat, hat, and boots, shoved his laptop in a backpack, and ventured out in his truck. Even he wasn’t crazy enough to trudge through a foot of snow to get coffee. Apparently everyone else had the same idea, because the street in front of Main Street Mocha was crowded with cars in both directions and the plate-glass windows were fogged from the heat of so many patrons.

  Gabe kicked the snow off his boots before he entered the coffee shop. Delia’s part-time employee, a high school girl named Mary, was working the register and the espresso machine like she was born to it, which was practically the truth—she’d been working here since it was legal for her to have a job at fourteen. Whoever said that teenagers weren’t capable and reliable had never met the girls who worked in Delia’s business.

  He ordered an Americano, extra hot, then wandered over to a corner table, where he plopped down in a chair and pulled out his laptop again. He might have downplayed the situation when he was assuring Kendall of his help, but in reality, he still had massive amounts of work to accomplish. The first model was almost finished—the one that showed what Jasper Lake would become with Burton’s interference—and he was beginning to think that he’d done too good a job. It looked modern and appealing, like Breckenridge or Vail. But he hadn’t yet added in the traffic or subtracted the businesses that would undoubtedly be pushed out by bigger corporate-owned entities once Jasper Lake became a legitimate moneymaking proposition.

  And he had yet to put together the model of his own vision, something that would build on what the town had already established rather than take away from it.

  He’d been counting on Kendall’s help to catch that particular vision.

  A cup was plunked down in front of him, sloshing coffee onto the table, dangerously close to his laptop. He looked up and saw Delia standing in front of him, still dressed for church, her hands on her hips. “Well. You’ve done it this time.”

  “Nice to see you too, Delia,” he said placidly, even though her words and her expression sent dread into his gut. “What’s going on?”

  She pulled out the chair opposite him and sat, drumming her fingers restlessly on the tabletop. “Kendall came to see me.”

  Uh-oh. He had no idea why that would be a bad thing, but from the look on Delia’s face, it was.

  “Why did you start something that you know you can’t commit to?”

  Gabe winced and rubbed his hand through his hair, stalling. “She told you about that.”

  “That you kissed her and then froze her out? Yes.”

  “Hey now, that’s not entirely true. She kissed me first.”

  She cocked her head. “Yeah, and you were not at all a willing participant.”

  She did have a point, but it wasn’t as if he’d slept with her and taken off. A kiss was . . . a kiss. An exploration. Sometimes it went somewhere and sometimes it didn’t. But he knew he was justifying himself.

  Delia’s expression softened. “I thought you said you weren’t going to get involved with someone who wasn’t a Christian.”

  “Exactly why I put the brakes on things.”

  “Yeah, you should have put the brakes on first.”

  He frowned. “I know we’re friends, Delia, but where’s this coming from? Other than pushing me to date more, you generally don’t have strong opinions about my love life.”

  “I do when it hurts someone else I consider my friend. Kendall came to me for advice, and I had to tell her.”

  “You had to tell her that . . . ?”

  “That you didn’t date women without the same beliefs as you.”

  “Delia!” Gabe gaped at her, a burst of anger filling him. “That wasn’t your place!”

  “Well, she was there thinking she did something to offend you. What was I supposed to tell her? She’s a friend, Gabe. I wasn’t going to lie to her.”

  “But still . . .” He had no idea how Kendall would have taken that information, but he suspected it wasn’t well. “I need to talk to her.”

  “I told her that she needed to discuss this with you as well, but I’d be surprised if she brings it up.” For the first time, Delia looked remorseful. “She kind of shut down. I thought it might make her feel better that it didn’t have anything to do with her. After all, you guys have known each other for all of a week. It’s not like it’s anything serious.”

  “Right,” Gabe said, but inwardly he knew that wasn’t true. Maybe they’d only met a week ago, but there was . . . something . . . between them that transcended the usual one-week relationship stage. Something that told him they’d connected on a real, deep level.

  What was he supposed to do with that?

  Delia drifted away, leaving Gabe to sit there and think about what he’d done. He’d been pretty much on autopilot when it came to Kendall, ignoring the feelings that he knew were brewing. He’d let his own blindness keep him from consulting God on what he should do about the relationship, had inadvertently hurt someone he cared about.

&nbs
p; He pulled out his phone and texted Kendall. Do you have time to talk?

  She took so long to answer that he thought she was either asleep or ignoring him. And then finally she replied, I’m catching up on some work at the B&B. We’ll chat tomorrow when you pick me up.

  That was the last thing he wanted to do: have a serious conversation while in the cab of his truck, on their way to do a little demolition. But Kendall’s response was a clear brush-off, an indication that he’d legitimately hurt her. He would have to do this on her terms.

  And it was probably good that he had some time to think. Because he needed to know what he wanted and be prepared to stick to it, no matter what it might do to their burgeoning friendship.

  He just had a feeling that when they were finished, there wouldn’t be a friendship to speak of at all.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  KENDALL IGNORED THE ACHE in her chest every time she thought of Gabe and instead focused on her computer screen. She had no right to be upset, no right to expect things that Gabe hadn’t promised her. It was good, actually, that she’d had things put into perspective for her. In a single week, she’d forgotten the whole reason she’d come to Jasper Lake—to sell her property here and buy the house that had been the closest thing to home for the last several years. Going through the photos of the Woolridge House, making notes on her pocket notepad, was a good way to realign her focus.

  But she had to admit that Gabe wasn’t the only thing dragging her mind back to Jasper Lake. She’d resisted any feeling of connection to this mountain town, the missing pieces of her past leaving painful jagged holes inside her. But finding her mother’s letters had changed all that. Yes, there were still gaps in the narrative; it didn’t change the fact that things had gone wrong in ways she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. But it showed her that the one thing she’d always feared was untrue.

  She’d been loved.