Lost in the Shadows (The Lost Series Book 3)

by Tracie Douglas

  “Then what is it? I don’t understand.” I step back, and he releases his hold on me. Feeling exposed, I look around, searching for something to cover myself with. The idea of putting my clothing back on makes me sick to my stomach, and a feeling of shame washes over me. So much for being the kind of woman who knows what she wants and goes after it.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he admits and takes a deep breath. “I’m afraid of hurting you.”

  His words cause something to take root within me. Something I’ve never felt before. It’s no secret that I’ve felt strong feelings for him for some time now, whether he wanted me to or not. I couldn’t help it. It just happened.

  Listening to this confession only makes it more real.

  I’m in love with him.

  I’ve fallen hard for this beautifully broken man.

  Chapter 23

  Damien

  Her faith in me and the man she wholeheartedly believes I am is more than I can handle, but it fills me with hope. I want to scoop her up into my arms and let down the rest of my walls. I want to believe I can give her everything she deserves and more.

  But my fear is real.

  I don’t want to hurt her.

  Hurting her would be something I could never come back from.

  “You aren’t going to hurt me,” she claims and steps toward me. My hands itch to reach out to touch her, to claim her, but neither of us is ready for what that means.

  “I can’t claim you.”

  “That’s what you don’t understand, Damien.” Her voice is silky smooth, hitting my dick with each syllable. “You’ve claimed almost every piece of me already. You claimed my person the night you chose me. You claimed my trust the day you came back for me. You claimed my name the night you married me. You claimed my friendship during our time here. You claimed my heart when you finally let me in tonight.”

  “Penny—” I start, but she silences me with one slender finger pressed against my lips. The animal in me wants to flick my tongue out to taste her.

  “I’m not expecting you to feel the same,” she tells me with love shining from the depths of her eyes. My heart tugs in my chest, wishing I could say the words she deserves to hear. “The only thing you have left to claim is my body, and while I appreciate the chivalry you’re determined to show me, it has to stop. I need you to claim every little piece of me. I need you to make me yours in every possible way.”

  Fuck.

  She’s left me speechless.

  This confession has me ignoring every promise I made to keep her safe from me, because I’ll be damned if her words haven’t made my heart pound in my chest. I’m barely coming around to the idea she thinks I’m a good man, but being someone worthy of her?

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to calm the variety of lust and emotion raging.

  “Damien, please touch me,” she whispers, and I open my eyes to find her standing nearly naked, the blanket a pile of material at her feet, still wearing only her blue thong. My cock pulses painfully, needing to be closer to her.

  I swallow hard. If we’re going to do this, it needs to be slow.

  “Penny,” I mumur and reach for her warm body, giving in to her request and my animal instinct. “You are fucking perfect.”

  She responds by moving closer. I feel her shiver the moment her skin touches the fabric separating us. My hands find the curve of her hips and hook into them, yanking her harder against me.

  “Damien,” she whispers as her hands snake up my back, finding their place around my neck again.

  I lean in, stopping an inch from her lips, waiting for her to close the gap. I’m anxious to feel her lips against mine, to taste her.

  “Angel, if you want to stop at any time, I will.” I lift my hands from their spot on her hips and cup her face. She needs to know that even as things progress between us, I will stop if she changes her mind. God, I hope she doesn’t change her mind.

  She nods before lifting up onto her tiptoes and closing the distance between our lips. It’s fucking magic. The small kiss we shared the night we married has nothing on this one.

  We poor ourselves into this kiss, saying the things we can’t say yet but doing it with passion and our connected mouths.

  I want her to control the kiss at first, needing her to feel confident, but the moment her tongue slips between my lips, I can’t hold back any longer.

  The need I’ve spent too long controlling snaps, and I lift her up. My arms wrap around her wasit, and her long legs wrap around me. I settle one hand on the warm flesh of her ass, kneading it as I walk forward into the room. I don’t stop until my legs hit the edge of the bed.

  Lowering her down onto it, we climb the bed together. I settle between her legs, never breaking the kiss, our lips frantic for one another. When her head hits the pillow, she reaches for the hem of my shirt, ripping it up and over my head.

  Her teeth graze my bottom lip, and I can’t help the growl that resonates from somewhere deep within my body. I get the sense that despite her innocence, my angel is going to be something of a wildcat in bed. Which I don’t find surprising, given the brazen behavior she’s displayed tonight.

  Her bare nipples brush against my bare chest, causing her to writhe in need. My brave girl arches off the bed, seeking a stronger contact, and even as her hands make their way across the lines of my back, I know it isn’t enough. Because it isn’t enough for me.

  “Touch me,” she moans between kisses, and I respond by snaking a hand between our bodies to find her perfectly shaped breast. “Oh god…”

  I relax a little, flicking and plucking at the taut nipple, needing to taste the rosey bud for myself.

  Breaking our kiss, I feel the overwhelming urge to worship every inch of her body, making all of it mine. I capture her nipple between my teeth. She hisses at the twinge of pain but arches her back higher off the bed, offering herself up to me

  I suck the rosebud into my mouth while I use my free hand to hook her leg around my hip, then grind my hard cock against the wet warmth of her pussy.

  “You have too much clothing on,” she moans, tugging at the waist of my jeans.

  “I don’t want to go too fast, angel.”

  “I want to feel you, Damien.”

  “Soon,” I promise before taking the other rosebud into my mouth, repeating the nip of my teeth against the sensitive nub. Her fingers thread into my hair, and she gives it a little tug before holding it in place at her breast.

  “More,” she mewls, but there are other places on her body I want to taste. Places I know she’d rather me be much quicker if she knew what I plan on doing to her.

  “Angel, we have all night,” I chuckle, feeling just as anxious but in control of myself. This night is about her, and I’m on a mission to make her first time, no, our first time memorable.

  “I’ve been waiting for you, for this moment, my entire life, Damien. Please don’t take too long. I don’t know if my heart can handle it.” She looks down at me with sapphire eyes so dark, I nearly lose myself in them. Smiling to myself, I vow make her come more than once before giving her what she’s sweetly begging for.

  Lowering my head, I place a gentle kiss on her hot skin, the first of many along the pathway of her body.

  I’m going to make her scream my name more than once.

  Chapter 24

  Penelope

  He moves lower down my body, kissing and licking his way to my belly button. Pausing momentarily to hook his fingers in the straps of my thong and pull it down past my knees. I lift one leg at a time as he removes the lacey piece, then tosses it somewhere over his head.

  “Fucking beautiful,” he murmurs before his mouth follows the curve of my hip and his hands slip between my leg, pushing them apart. “Spread your legs for me, angel.”

  My heart skips a beat as I prepare myself for this moment.

  Finally, he’s going to claim the last remaining piece of me.

  We will become one, and our marriage
will no longer be in name only.

  Except once my legs are spread, he doesn’t move.

  Cracking an eye, I take a peek at him and find him staring at my sex. No, not staring. Lusting. He’s lusting for my sex.

  “Damien, what are you doing?” I feel a flush of embarrassment hit my cheeks and try to close my legs.

  “Don’t ruin my view, angel.”

  “Your view?” I ask, adding more resistence against his hold, but it’s futile.

  “Yes, I’m taking in the sight and glory.”

  “You sound like a crazy person. Please let me up.” I lift up and try to move out from under him.

  “Lie down,” he tells me, but this isn’t how I imagined this moment would be.

  “Please don’t do this,” I beg, feeling a well of tears behind my eyes. I turn my head to look away, afraid to tell him to stop.

  “Penny, look at me, please,” he commands in a soft but firm voice. I do, reluctantly, but still. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Why are you trying to hide yourself from me?”

  “The way you were looking at me just now…” I answer coyly.

  “What about it?”

  I chew my bottom lip as I try to decide if I should tell him how it made me feel. Because if I’m honest, I liked it. I liked it so much, it felt wrong.

  “You liked it?” he asks with a knowing smile. I shrug in response and feel another flush of embarrassment. “Angel, you’re supposed to like it.”

  “I am?” I feel stupid, but then my education on the things that happen between a man a woman are based on the teachings I received from the men who bought and sold me.

  “Yes, you are.” He tilts his head to study me a moment. “Do you want to stop?”

  I shake my head and release my legs, allowing them to fall open. I feel wanton but strangely powerful. “I want you to look at me like that again.”

  “I’m going to do much more than that,” he chuckles, his words piquing my interest. “I’m going to worship you. Now, lie back and let me finish staring at the world’s prettiest pussy.”

  “Damien,” I gasp, feeling a shiver of need roll through my body, settling between my legs with a throb. This time, instead of staring, he lowers his head until I feel the rush of his hot breath inside from the spot now throbbing incessantly. “Please,” I gasp, unsure of what I’m asking for.

  “You smell like fucking peaches and cream, angel,” he purrs. The sound of his voice does something to me, because I suddenly want to lift my hips and force his face against me. “Do you taste like it, too?”

  I feel his tongue dip between the lips of my pussy as his fingers spread them wide, revealing the aching parts of me. I feel electric, but it’s not enough. I need to feel his hot tongue against me. I lift my hips, offering myself up to him.

  He swipes his tongue down over the aching bud, sucking it between his teeth when he swipes up. I nearly come off the bed; the sensation is almost too much for me.

  “Yes, angel,” he chortles before swiping his tongue again. This time, it makes me feel hot all over my body, not just my face. “Just like that.”

  I can’t respond because I can’t speak. I can’t even understand the words coming from his mouth because all I can do is feel as the flicks and suckles come faster

  The tension in my body builds, pushing me forward but never feeling like it’s enough.

  As if he reads my mind, Damien slips the tip of his finger into my pussy, careful of its length. I feel like a rubber band ready to snap. He picks up the pace, and soon, I thrust my hips in sync with his hand and tongue.

  The edges of my vision begin to blur when a second finger is added. The burn of my muscles stretching around both fingers is heightened by the build of pleasure in my belly.

  I’m close, and he knows it. Once again picking up the pace when my body adjusts to his fingers, he hooks them around, flicking the sensitive spot inside my body.

  My heart pounds, my pussy aches, and my body gives, surrendering itself to an explosion of pleasure.

  Gasping his name, I feel my body convulse with each wave, his mouth still working me. He slips his fingers from me, replacing them with his hot tongue.

  He groans when the rush of my come touches his tongue. He laps it up, holding me prisoner as the pleasure begins to subside.

  “Peaches and fucking cream, angel.” He sucks on my clit, and I nearly come off the bed again, the sensation is so hard it’s almost painful. “My new favorite flavor.”

  I giggle, no longer feeling shame or embarrassment. Not after my first orgasm and the feeling of his mouth pressed against me.

  He lifts up onto his knees and off the bed, meeting my eyes as he unbuttons his jeans and slides down the zipper. My breathing hitches, and I watch as he pulls both his jeans and his boxers down past his hips to the floor, revealing the hard length of himself to me.

  I moan loudly, feeling the familiar ache between my legs again. I take in the sight of him, studying him in all his glory. He’s beautiful.

  The pure size of him frightens yet excites me. He is much larger in length and girth than his fingers. I wonder if he is going to fit, unsure of the one-size-fits-all theory I’ve been told about. Only the idea of his beautiful cock inside of me sends a rush of wetness between my legs, and I forget the worry.

  “We’re going to take this slow, angel. I don’t want to hurt you.” He lifts a leg and places it onto the bed, finding his spot between my legs. I reach down, wanting to touch him, surprised at the velvet softness of him. He reaches for my hand, holding it still as I begin to stroke him. “No, if you do that, I won’t last.”

  I moan in disappointment, “I want to touch you.”

  “We’ll have plenty of time for that later, but this is about you,” he explains, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. I pull my hand away, letting his find its way to my clit. He rubs it, sending a shock of electricity throughout my body.

  “I need you to relax, angel. This isn’t going to feel good.” He pauses to nibble my lip. “Not at first, but I promise to make you feel good as soon as it’s done.”

  I nod, feeling the head of his cock at my entrance. He leans over me, releasing the pressure on my clit to hover over me. Our eyes meet, and I see the same concern and need I feel reflected back at me.

  “Make me yours,” I whisper, cupping the sides of his face with my hands. He surges forward, slowly pushing into me. My breath hitches in my chest as the feeling of what we’re doing burns through my body.

  He stops, letting me acclimate to the feeling of him, and after a beat, he pushes into me further. I moan. The pain of it is intense, the anticipation torturous.

  I lift my legs for a better angle and wrap them around his waist. He closes his eyes on a gasp, and I feel him shiver as he struggles to keep control. “Fuck, angel, you’re so tight. I don’t know how much more my cock is going to be able to handle.”

  Not wanting him to stop, I lift up and push my body into him, hurrying the process a little. My muscles burn and stretch, taking him in inch by inch. And then I feel it, the sharp tear of my innocence as he pushes through it.

  I cry out as my body tenses from the pain. Tears fall from the corners of my eyes, and he stills. A pained express crosses his face as he struggles with the decision to continue or pull away. I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “I’m okay,” I whisper with a kiss and adjust my hips against him, relieving some of the burning. He pulls back, but before I panic, he surges forward, creating a spark of pleasure through the pain. He repeats the movement, this time pushing farther into me until there is no pain. Claiming me completely and utterly, leaving me with no question as to who possesses me now.

  Mind, body, and soul. I’m his.

  “Good girl,” he murmurs before slipping his hand between our bodies, his fingers once again finding the sensitive nub and bringing it back to life. “You were made for me, Penelope. You’re mine. Fucking perfect.”

  I whimper, torn between the two s
ensations he’s creating in my body. Unable to think about anything else, I close my eyes and feel, until my body explodes around him and I see stars.

  I vaguely hear my name on his lips as he finds his own release seconds later.

  I lift my head, capturing and claiming his lips while we both ride out the sensations of our orgasms. When he begins to slow, I hold on to him tighter, not ready for him to break the connection between us.

  “I love you, Damien,” I tell him in a whisper, giving him my heart once again, knowing he already claimed it.

  He may not say the words back, but he kisses me softly, telling me without words how much he cares.

  Chapter 25

  Penelope

  The sun filters into the bedroom, hitting our bodies and killing the chill that seconds ago touched our skin.

  After our first time together, Damien drew me a bubble bath in the large garden tub. He insisted I soak the worn muscles, and when I refused to get into the tub alone, he climbed in behind me. He made me come a third time before the water became too chilled.

  We’ve spent the last forty-eight hours under a pile of snow and blankets, keeping ourselves busy with other things.

  He’s started to tell me more about his life and his family. His large family sounds like mine, except the evil stepfather thing and the fact that I’m the oldest and he’s the youngest of his siblings. Still, I’d love to hear the stories about the torture his sister laid on him growing up.

  I learned my husband officially retired from the military after an incident that happened to his team. He hasn’t given me a lot of detail about it, and it seems like a sensitive subject, so I didn’t ask too many questions. I figure one day, when he’s ready, he’ll tell me about that part of his life. But it explained a lot about him and the kind of work he does.

  “I work for Cole Securities. My former team leader, Kingston Cole, runs the company, and everyone from the team works for him,” he tells me while drawing shapes on my naked flesh.

  “Is he the man who got you the connections with the chapel and the flight?”