The Purloined Panties - An Erotic Detective Adventure

by Carol Gregory

  “Shouldn’t we get dressed if this guy comes in?” Asked Valerie.

  “No, I’ll get us some robes.”I responded.

  Sure enough the doorbell rang. I let in Robert. I introduced him to Valerie. Sheila came out looking sexy in a miniskirt and sweater top. She kissed Robert and they waved as they left.

  I refilled our wine glasses, lit some candles and lowered the lights. I put son CSN&Y on the stereo and led Valerie to the sofa. I took my robe off and helped Valerie off with her robe. We sat down, Valerie to my left. We kissed, out tongues embraced.

  “I’m nervous,” Valerie said. “I’m not sure what to do with a woman. God, you are beautiful.”

  “I’ll tell you what. I’ll do something to you and then you do the same thing to me, okay?”

  Valerie nodded. I leaned over and licked her left nipple and bit on it lightly, sucking on it for several minutes. I sat up and she did the same with my right nipple.

  Valerie sat up and I did the same with her right nipple. She reciprocated with my left nipple. We kissed again and I massaged her breasts. She massaged mine. We continued to kiss.

  I sat Valerie so we were facing each other on the sofa, our legs around the other’s waist. I massaged her legs as she did mine. Her eyes focused on the scar on my left hip. She touched it and looked at me inquisitively.

  “When I was with the Marshal’s office I was shot. It caused me to be forced into a disability retirement.”

  “Does it still hurt?”

  “Sometimes it hurts. I can’t run long distances. It’s one of the reasons I still swim and workout at the gym.”

  “Your body is magnificent,” Valerie said. “I wish I could look like you.”

  “I work hard at keeping the hard body. I work out at Sheila’s gym. I lift weights. I swim. I do something every day. You are very beautiful too. You have a wonderful softness. I want to lose myself in your flesh.”

  “I’m not soft, I’m fat.”

  “Don’t be silly. You have a wonderful shape. With a little exercise and toning guys would be dropping at your feet.”

  Valerie laughed. We continued to rub each other’s legs and thighs. I ran my hands to the inside of her thighs. She did mine.

  “I remember reading about you in the newspaper,” Valerie said. “That was a pretty wild story about the Church of the Loving Way. Were you scared?”

  “I shook for two days after it was over,” I admitted. “But I was in the middle of the plot. I didn’t have time to think about being afraid.”

  “What did you think about a church devoted to sex?”

  “I thought it was great. I wish the church was all about pleasure and not about theft and murder. The evil of the leaders trumped the positive aspects of their message. Nobody was forced to be in their holy orgy. Everyone had free will. The evil became a cancer destroying the good.”

  “What’s happening with the trial?”

  “I’m not sure if there will be a trial. Once the interrogation started everyone started to turn on everyone else. There are only two who were arrested who have not cut deals.” I pushed Valerie onto her back and traced her labia with my fingertips. I slipped two fingers in her pussy. “Let’s concentrate on us.”

  I leaned over and licked her navel. I buried my face in her soft midsection, biting her soft flesh tenderly. I kissed her abdomen and licked down to the top of her pussy. I licked the inside of her thighs and her labial lips. Valerie purred softly. I nibbled on her clit for a moment and then kissed my way up her torso to her mouth. We kissed again so she could taste her own juices.

  “Let’s go to the bedroom,” I said, taking her hand. I lit two candles in the bedroom and pulled back the bedspread and top sheet. We crawled onto the bed together and embraced. We kissed and groped each other. I put my head on the pillow and lay on my back. Valerie mimicked my actions from the sofa. Her full lips felt warm and exciting as she kissed my breast. She ran her hands over my abs and kissed my navel.

  Valerie sat between my legs feeling my calf muscles. “You must be very strong,” she said. “Your body is amazing.” She leaned over and kissed my thighs. She kissed the scar on my right hip and ran her hands behind me, grasping the cheeks of my buttocks. She kneaded my muscular ass. Valerie licked the inside of my thighs and my pussy lips. She inserted her tongue into my cunt, tasting my juices as they began to flow.

  “Valerie, that feels great,” I moaned. She sucked my clit while burying her fingers behind me. I felt the slow build up of arousal. I pulled her head back up to mine and we kissed again.

  I reached down and finger fucked Valerie. I was not gentle, but commanded her reaction. She moaned and then groaned. I knew I would bring her to her first orgasm of the night. I increased the momentum.

  “Oh, God, oh, shit, Jesus Christ!” she yelled as her body stiffened. I felt a flood of her juices flowing. I could feel Valerie’s heart pounding.

  I flipped positions to a sixty-nine, pulling her on top of me. Her cunt was in my face. Her nose was buried in my vagina. She attacked my clit with the same vigor I was using. I was already nearly ready. She quickly put me over the top. I climaxed, even as I brought her to a second orgasm.

  Valerie did not relent. I came a second time and then a third time. Finally I had to pull her off of me before I went crazy. Again we embraced and kissed. Finally we lay side by side in each other’s arms.

  Valerie took a deep breath and talked, “I have never had someone do that before.”

  “Eat your pussy?” I asked.

  “Bring me to orgasm,” she said. That was the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced. I couldn’t even get my last boyfriend to go down on me.”

  “Honey,” I said, “what good was he then?”

  We rested a few minutes and then got out of bed. We walked out to the living room. I put on my robe as Valerie got dressed.

  “I wish I could stay, but I have class in the morning,” she said.

  “We will do this again soon,” I said as we kissed and walked to the door.

  The rest of the week was uneventful. Sissy Harwell called me and we went over plans for Friday. Valerie called just to talk. Sheila was pretty scarce, spending her free time with her latest lover.

  I left the office early Friday and headed over to Linbrook Hardware. I had called ahead to make sure they had what I was looking for. I stopped at Lindel's, the local deli, on the way home and bought a rye and some corned beef. I bought bagels and lox for the morning.

  Sheila pulled in the driveway the same time as I did. She looked upset. We walked in and I put my packages on the kitchen table and Sheila sat down. I pulled a bottle of chardonnay out of the fridge and poured two glasses.

  "Talk to me," I said.

  "My trainer gave notice. I think Robert is seeing someone else. I am late with my period. How was your day?"

  I got up and gave her a hug. "Your trainer is a sourpuss dyke. You will find a better one. You have only dated Robert for a few days, so give him a chance. And this is not the first time you thought you might be pregnant." I poured her a second glass of wine.

  I emptied my bag from the hardware store and got a black marking pen.

  "What are all those mousetraps for?" Sheila asked.

  I marked numbers on the bottom of each one and explained my plan about catching the underwear thief. "As soon as the girls leave to go to the fraternity party I am going to set the mousetraps in the underwear drawer in each bedroom. Whoever the burglar is he knows the routines of the sorority sisters. I am betting he will strike. I will set quietly in the office until I hear a yelp."

  "It sounds like a solid plan. What will you do with the thief?"

  "That depends on who he is. I will probably cuff him and call the cops."

  "Let's go out for dinner," Sheila suggested. "I'm buying."

  "Where do you want to go?"

  "Let's go to Spires by my gym. I left ,y new employee in charge and I want to be sure she closes okay."

  We took my Barracuda t
o Spires. I had a sandwich and a bowl of clam chowder. Sheila ordered fish and chips. We ate and talked. I finally told her about my night with Rich and his friend on Friday and my double date on Saturday.

  "And I was feeling sorrow for you," Sheila said. "You are getting more action than me. And I know you fooled around with that college girl. I'm surprised you aren't getting bowl legged."

  It was good to kick back with my best friend. We finished and Sheila was true to her word and picked up the bill. We headed across the street to the gym. It was just closing. Sheila introduced me to her new helper, Shawna. We talked. It turned out Shawna was a junior at Cal State Fullerton studying kinesiology.

  "I think you may have just solved your first problem," I laughed. "And she's cute too."

  "You might be right. And my third problem may be over. I'm cramping. Let's get home," Sheila said.

  We helped Shawna close up and went home. As soon as we walked in the phone was ringing. It was Robert for Sheila. Her problems were all behind her. He asked her if he could come over, but she put him off and invited him for breakfast Saturday. It was an early night.

  Saturday the weather was like it had been every day for the past week. It was overcast in the morning. I sipped coffee and ate bagels and lox while reading the LA Times. The Dodgers beat the Mets 1-0 when Tom Haller drove in Wes Parker in the fifteenth inning. The Angels lost. Willis Reed scored 37 points as the Knicks took the first game in the finals against the Lakers.

  Sheila was up and waiting for Robert. He showed up and took her out for breakfast. I cleaned the house and worked in the yard for a while. I hit the pool and did my laps. By lunch I was worn out at wanted to take it easy until I had to leave to go to the ABG house. I made a corned beef sandwich and grabbed a Coke.

  Sheila and Robert returned. She kissed him goodbye and headed to the gym to check on things. I knew that Shawna was working and they would talk about the trainer spot. I watched some sports on television. At three I showered and dressed. I work black jeans with a flare on the bottom so I could wear my ankle holster. I wore a black blouse. I grabbed the mousetraps and headed to the ABGs.

  When I arrived the house was in chaos. The place was packed with coeds. Sissy Harwell was earning her keep helping the girls with their dresses, hair and make-up. Valerie and a couple of the older members were directing the flow. Pasta and salad was served early in the evening. A couple of the girls were being picked up by boyfriends, but most were carpooling. Valerie explained that if they drove they could leave whenever the felt like it and not be dependent upon one of the fraternity member who would no doubt be drinking.

  At seven almost everyone had left. Valerie gave me a hug and wished me luck. Sissy finished cleaning up and left by eight. I grabbed my traps and set them out according to plan. Each drawer would have two traps. Additional traps would be hidden under panties. I turned out all of the lights and placed myself in the easy chair in Sissy's office. I propped the door open just enough to see if someone walked by the door in the hallway.

  Waiting was the hardest part of any stakeout. I had to sit in the dark and stay alert. I figured in the perpetrator cam it would be later in the evening, but before midnight. I sat in the dark and listened. Occasionally I stood and stretched. I tried not to check the time every five minutes.

  At nine-thirty I heard a sound. Someone was turning the lock in the front door. I pulled my Smith and Wesson out of my purse and put it on the table next to me. I felt the gun in my ankle holster just to know it was there. The door to the office opened. I took the gun in my hand and waited.

  "Petra, are you in there?" It was Valerie.

  "Get in here and be quiet," I said in as quiet a voice as I could. "You should not be here."

  "Should I leave?"

  "No, you are here now. I hope no one is returning with you."

  "No," she said as she grabbed my hand. "Now I am scared."

  "Fifty-fifty nothing happens tonight. If someone does show up the odds are they will not be dangerous. If they are dangerous I will shoot them. Does that make you feel better?"

  "Just a little," she said.

  We sat in quite. Valerie kept checking her watch. Everything was quiet. Valerie began to nod off.

  At eleven I heard a noise. I nudged Valerie and whispered for her to stay quiet. The back door opened. I strained to listen for footsteps, but heard none. We waited. I stood up and walked across the room and stood behind the door. I waited until I hear soft footsteps. A door creaked. For a moment everything was quiet.

  There was a yelp and a cry. I moved quickly toward the sound as a loud, "Oh, fuck echoed the hallway. Gun drawn I entered the bedroom and flicked on the lights.

  It was everything I could do not to laugh. Hopping around the room holding a pair of panties in his right hand with a mousetrap snapped shut on his right thumb was a short, skinny young man. He wore no shirt, blue deck shoes, and a pair of red woman's panties. Barely concealed in the tight red panties was the kid's hard-on. I quickly stepped behind him, pulling his arms back. I cuffed him, Then I released the spring on the mousetrap.

  The young man was crying and sad he was sorry. Valerie came in to the room. "Pokey? Pokey Philips?" Then she laughed.

  "Who is he?" I asked.

  "That's Pokey Philips. He's the son of Ruth Philips who worked here before Sissy. And he has an erection in those red panties."

  "Call the Fullerton Police for me while I watch our bandit." I turned to Pokey Philips. "Sit down on the floor."

  Philips obeyed. When he sat down the panties were pulled down slightly. His cock was protruding from the top of the panties. Every time he moved the panties rubbed his cock, keeping it erect.

  Valerie turned the lights on in the house. She then came back with a camera. "I've got to get a picture of this," she said as she started snapping pictures. She left and came back with a Polaroid camera and took several more pictures. The doorbell rang and Valerie let in two policemen. I identified myself. They laughed and shook their heads.

  They read Philips his rights and switched handcuffs, returning my cuffs to me. An investigator arrived as they escorted Philips to the patrol car. The investigator recognized my name from the Loving Way matter. He took my statement and one from Valerie. He took the mousetrap that was on Philips’ hand as evidence. We swapped cards. He was leaving as some of the sorority member began to arrive.

  I started to gather the traps that had been set out, using the numbers to make sure they were all accounted for. Valerie was passing around the Polaroid pictures. I called Sissy Harwell and gave her my report.

  I needed a drink. I grabbed Valerie and headed to Reuben's. The crowd was waning. A guitar combo was playing. We had a good time laughing about the way the evening had turned out. At midnight I dropped her off at the ABG house.

  "When will I see you again," Valerie asked.

  "You are the one with finals coming up. Just call me when you are free."

  Valerie leaned over and kissed me. I watched her until she got in the front door safely and then drove home.

  Monday morning the story hit the papers. My telephone started ringing and reporters wanted interviews. I gave statements to the Register and the Los Angeles Times. I refused a television reporter’s request for a live interview because I did not want to be a local celebrity. Newspaper headlines read, "Panty Thief Exposed."

  About Carol Gregory

  Carol Gregory was an amazing woman. She was born in 1942 and died too young in 2012. She was known to me as Cousin Carol. She was quite a bit older than me growing up. She was known as a wild child in the 60’s. The family tried to keep me away from her because she was a bad influence. They failed.

  Carol was a stunningly beautiful woman. She graduated UCLA with a degree in History. She held a few jobs, was married and divorced by the time she was twenty-three. In 1968 I was reintroduced to my cousin. She was living in a house she owned in Anaheim, California. I was just fifteen and in awe of this older woman. She helped me with my homework,
patiently listened to my teenage concerns from driving, dating, to college selection. She was hip and with it in the pop culture.

  Carol completed law school and worked in the Orange County District Attorney’s Office. She ultimately was appointed to the Orange County Municipal Court. A few years later she became a Superior Court judge. She knew how to be discrete with her many lovers.

  By the time I started college Carol tutored me in a more prurient education. We became occasional lovers. She taught me how to please a woman. I lived with her during my last year at college. I still dated. Carol had boyfriends and girlfriends. She taught me tolerance, patience, and how to make a lover call your name out in ecstasy.

  Even after college we remained close. I was married and had my own family. She was close to my family.

  Carol never married again. I know she had many lovers because she loved to describe every intimate moment. I am sure she broke hearts, but she would forever remain independent. She was always sexy and bold.

  Carol Gregory passed suddenly with a brain aneurism. I was named as her sole heir. She had amassed a comfortable estate. It took me many months before I worked up the energy to begin to go through her house and possessions.

  One Saturday afternoon I stumbled upon a box in her closet. In the box were manuscripts for novels and stories she had written over decades. True to form, they were all erotic novels. She had a series of detective stories about a heroine named Petra Jameson. The name Jameson, I am sure, came from her favorite whiskey. She loved Jameson’s Reserve Irish Whiskey. The physical description was Carol, although Carol never took a bullet in the hip. The sex was pure Carol.

  Carol’s love of history is echoed in her stories. Her stories around England’s Glorious Revolution are a good example. She makes history exciting.

  I have been going through the writings and putting them together so others can enjoy them. Carol would want to share them with the world. I hope you enjoy them.

  Carol Gregory loved the works of Dorothy Parker and would quote her often. Her favorite in was: “Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”