The snakes fascinated Justin but left her cold. “Ugh, you can watch the horrible, slimy things if you like but count me out.”
“It’s the best part of the zoo. You like them, little missie don’t you?”
Lilly chuckled her approval as he held her up against the glass. “Look at the size of that one.” He admired an enormous python as it slithered by.
“Justin, please.” She grabbed his arm. “I can’t stand them.”
“Oh, all right.” He reluctantly moved away. “They’re behind glass. They can’t hurt you.”
“I know, but I hate them. At the orphanage some kid put one in my bed once.” Remembrance sent a shudder through her. “I thought I was going to be bitten and die.”
He picked up her hand and squeezed it. “You don’t have to be afraid ever again, Holly.”
I wouldn’t be afraid of anything if I knew you’d always be around for me, she thought, clamping her teeth together so the desperate words wouldn’t spill out of her mouth. That was the problem, her terrible burden, not knowing whether he would be around or not.
They visited the butterflies next. The humidity hit them the moment they entered the enclosure.
“Now this I do like. Some of them are so colorful,” she exclaimed with pleasure.
Justin held Lilly, but she kept reaching out trying to grab hold of the pretty things as they fluttered past.
“No you don’t. You’d squash them.” Laughter added an extra resonance to his voice. His eyes crinkled up with amusement. He was enjoying himself. With all his power and wealth, he had never stopped to smell the roses or enjoy the simple, natural beauty around him.
He slipped his free arm through hers and whispered. “Where to now, my sweet little Holly?” His voice caressed her skin, feather light, but every nerve ending felt it.
“A walk through the aviary would be nice.”
“All right, then we’ll have lunch,” he decided. “I saw a sign earlier, pointing to the restaurant.”
“Sounds good.”
“Nothing there will taste as good as you.” He leaned across Lilly’s head and kissed her. “If we tire her out she might sleep for the afternoon and...” He left the sentence hanging between them intimate, warm with promise, sexually charged.
Her breathing constricted and the heat of desire surged from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
In the huge aviary, gaudy parrots fluttered overhead squawking to each other, and colorful finches sat on every branch. A cheeky, rainbow lorikeet flew down and sat on a boy’s head. Unfortunately, Lilly’s excited squeal frightened it away.
Outside the aviary, Justin strapped Lilly in the stroller. “I don’t think my back could stand carrying her for much longer. She’s as heavy as lead.”
“I know,” Holly conceded.
“I don’t know how a little thing like you can carry her at all.”
“I’m awfully strong,” she flexed the muscles in her arm, “even if I don’t look it.”
He felt a strange pain tugging at his heartstrings once again. Holly liked to think of herself as tough, but she wasn’t. She would always be vulnerable, as emotionally soft as marshmallow. She needed to be looked after, to be cosseted and cherished, and he feared he wasn’t capable of giving her what she needed so desperately. He was afraid he couldn’t give her what the laughing young soldier had. Unconditional love in its purest, sweetest form.
Her hand slipped into his and he automatically squeezed her fingers. Did she have any inkling of his thoughts? He suddenly felt vulnerable because his emotions were affected, his feelings raw for the first time in his life. It scared the hell out of him. That’s probably why he overreacted last night. This exposed nerve added a dangerous dimension to their arrangement. Lilly was an adorable little cherub. He didn’t dislike kids but they wouldn’t fit into the life he had mapped out for himself.
“Let’s get something to eat,” he said gruffly, trying to cover up his turmoil. He had initially believed Owen when he accused Holly of offering him sex. After getting to know her he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Holly. If she ever found out what power she wielded over him... But she wouldn’t, not if he kept his wits about him and stuck to his original plan, hot, commitment-free sex.
The restaurant overlooked a grassy lawn area surrounded by colorful flowerbeds.
“This is lovely, Justin. Thank you for bringing us here.”
“My pleasure, I didn’t think I would enjoy it, but I have. It’s something different from my usual pursuits.”
“Yes, I’ll bet it is.” She smiled mischievously, as if she knew something he didn’t.
“What would you like to eat?”
“Fish and chips,” she answered so promptly he laughed.
She was so childishly sweet sometimes, so uncomplicated and thoroughly decent. She belonged to an era when people were honest, kind and generous, not out for all they could get. Where the hell did that episode with Owen fit in?
He ordered two serves of fish and chips and two coffees. By the time he got back to their table, Holly was feeding Lilly a jar of baby food. He hoped she wasn’t going to breastfeed her here as well. He’d come to look upon her breasts as his own exclusive property. He sure as hell didn’t want some other guy ogling them or, for that matter, any other part of her exquisite, creamy white body.
“Here we are, hot fish and chips,” he said, trying to divert his thoughts from her body.
“Thanks. They smell delicious,” she told him shoveling the last spoonful of custard into Lilly’s hungry little mouth.
“You know, I’ve forgotten how good the simple things in life can be,” he said, blowing on a chip to cool it down for Lilly. “We should do this more often.”
“I’d like that.” She reached across the table and ran her fingers across his knuckles. “I’d like it a lot.”
He glanced into her honest blue eyes. She turned her head away but wasn’t quick enough to hide her innermost thoughts. What he read in them shocked him to the core. His heart slammed against his rib cage. Raw vulnerability cut a swathe through his emotions. Hell, things were moving too fast, careering out of control.
He wanted to put the brakes on, stop this thing between them dead in its tracks, and he could only think of one way to do it.
“When we’ve finished eating, we’ll go. I don’t want Lilly falling asleep until we get back to the apartment. I’m in the mood for a long session of hot sex.”
Sick disgust curdled his stomach as Holly recoiled in shock, her eyes widened with hurt, her pupils darkened to navy. Lips that were only seconds ago turned up and smiling now drooped and trembled. He wanted to grab the ugly words back, but it was too late. The damage had been done.
“Whatever you say.” She couldn’t hide the bewildered hurt in her voice.
She couldn’t believe what he had done. Purposely, callously he had ruined their outing. She felt as if she had been viciously mugged.
Pushing her unfinished food away, she stood up. If she never ate fish and chips again, it would be too soon. They would always remind her of today. Fool that she was to think there could ever be anything more between them than the shoddy deal they had stitched up together. Sex in exchange for a roof over her and Lilly’s head.
Chapter Thirteen
Holly thought she heard Justin’s mobile ring. She certainly heard him curse as he rolled away and picked it up off the bedside table.
“What is it?” she asked sleepily.
“They’ve hung up. Don’t worry, go back to sleep.”
It was still dark. She felt, rather than saw him swing his legs out of bed and stand up. The phone rang again, and he snarled into it. “Devereux. What! Couldn’t it wait? It’s the middle of the bloody night.”
He came back about five minutes later, carrying Lilly. “Sorry, I must have woken her up.” He handed her over. “Some imbecile has stuffed up big time in Sydney. I have to get up there straight away.”
“O
h?” She put Lilly to her breast. “Put the light on if you like. Do you need me to pack for you?”
“No, thanks. I’ll throw a few things in an overnight bag. I keep shirts and suits in my office up there.”
“Don’t you have someone else who could go?” She didn’t want him to leave with bad feeling between them. What if something happened to him?
“It’s important. I’ll have to fix this myself. Look, Holly…” He sat on the bed and rested his hand on Lilly’s head. “I’m sorry about what I said at the zoo. I can be an insensitive bastard.”
“At least I know exactly where I stand now. For a little while I forgot we had a business arrangement. Foolish of me, wasn’t it?” Gross stupidity if she were brutally honest.
He winced at her bluntness. “We’ll talk about it when I get back. This break might be a good thing, give us a bit of breathing space to sort things out.”
Her heart overflowed with dread. Was this the chance he had been waiting for she thought frantically? An excuse to get away from her? A polite letter in the mail maybe? Services no longer required? Worse still, I’ve found someone else?
She didn’t want to leave him. She loved him, even if he didn’t love her in return. She hadn’t forgotten Robbie. His special corner of her heart would be treasured as long breath remained in her body. They hadn’t spent enough time together. Their marriage had been so short, so sweet, over before it really began. Two lonely people craving love, who had found each other.
What she felt for Justin was different, nothing sweet about it. It was an older, mature love. She had grown up a lot in the last few months, and of course, Lilly couldn’t remember her father. Justin was the only man in her life.
Once he left he mightn’t come back to her like Robbie. Lilly had dropped off to sleep again and she eased the little button mouth away from her nipple. She climbed out of bed and hurried into the bathroom where Justin was having a shave, a towel draped around his hips.
She came up behind him and slipped her arms round his waist. “Don’t leave us behind.” She rested her cheek against the still damp skin of his back. “We could come with you.”
“I’ll only be gone for a week or so.”
“We could have a holiday. Please.” The ugly words he had said at the zoo slipped to the back of her mind the moment he took her in his arms, but she knew they would rise up to plague her once he left. “I’ve never been to Sydney before.”
“I’ll be too busy.” He turned her around and kissed her on the mouth, leaving flecks of shaving cream on her lips. He wiped her face then his own on a towel and gave one of his cute grins. “You’d distract me too much.”
She took hold of his arms. “Don’t go. I’ve got an awful feeling you mightn’t come back.”
He laughed. “Don’t be so melodramatic. If you’re worried about other women, don’t be. I’ll be too busy. This is strictly business.” He nibbled his lower lip. “Maybe I’ll take a couple of weeks off later on so the three of us can go to Fiji.”
She had to be satisfied with his vague promise or risk having a full-blown argument with him. They had fought a lot in recent weeks. Her temper was volatile, his cold and cutting, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling of impending doom. It tied her stomach up in knots.
After he left, she returned to bed and lay there cuddling Lilly. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did she have to care so much for him?
Holly must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew was Lilly climbing all over her.
“Well, darling.” She kissed the baby’s plump cheeks. “We’ve got the place to ourselves for a week. What are we going to do with our spare time?”
After they were both bathed and dressed, they went out into the kitchen for breakfast. On the bench near the refrigerator lay a pile of money and a note.
In case you need cash while I’m away. Spend it anyway you choose, Justin.
No words of love. She never expected any, but some regret, reluctance even, because he was going away. Was that too much to ask? When she counted up the money it added up to five hundred dollars.
“Come on Lilly Pilly,” Holly scooped her up off the floor. “We’ll go for a walk in the park to fill in time.”
“Juju.” The baby looked around for the man who had become a major focus in her young life. On the one hand, it pleased her that Lilly loved him. On the other hand...
If, no, when, Justin banished them from his life she would be distraught.
“I know you want him to be here with us. So do I, but Justin will do exactly what he pleases.” A commitment shy man like him couldn’t offer them a long-term future. Couldn’t he see there was more to life than merely making money? He had more money than a single man could go through in a whole lifetime, no matter how extravagantly he spent yet he seemed driven to increase his wealth. Maybe it became an obsession for men who weren’t born into wealth, to those who clawed their way up from humble beginnings.
***
Holly lay in bed reading a book. It was ten o’clock, but she knew she wouldn’t sleep for hours. When the phone rang, she pounced on it straight away. “Hello.”
“Holly, it’s Justin.”
Hearing his voice turned her insides mushy. “How are you?” she asked excitedly, but didn’t let him answer. “It’s so good to hear your voice. I can’t sleep when you’re not lying next to me,” she gabbled, knowing she should stop but somehow unable able to. “Are you very busy? When will you be back?”
“Hey, hey, steady on.” Laughter filled his voice, and he sounded so clear he could have been in the next room. “How’s Lilly?”
“Good, missing you.”
“Are you in bed?” he asked in a low, sexy voice.
“Yes, but I can’t sleep.”
“Me either,” he growled in his throat. “I want to make love to you.”
Her heart leapt. He did miss her. “Well, come home then.”
“I wish I could. What are you wearing?”
“The black nightie, I...”
“With the split up the side?” he asked huskily.
“Yes.” Heated excitement skidded along her veins. “You’re not doing what I think you’re doing?”
He gave a low feral growl. “What do you think I’m doing?”
“M...Making love to me over the phone.” She couldn’t believe the effect such a thought had. She was shocked, but felt fabulous, out of this world. Her hand trembled so much she nearly dropped the phone.
“Close your eyes,” he instructed in a low sexy voice. “Push your nightie up over your hips – slowly, and put the phone down.”
With trembling hands, she laid the phone on the bed. Grasping the silky material between her fingertips, she raised her hips and pushed the garment up to her waist before stretching out flat on her back.
She picked up the phone. “What next?” she whispered.
“Keep your eyes shut and think of your favorite flower.” His soft purr slid over her like warm, sweetly perfumed rose oil.
She could almost feel Justin’s hands on her body, strong, sure, sensuous. Heat built up in her sex, making it tender and sensitive.
“Are you hot?”
“Yes, are you?” One part of her wanted the tautened agony to end. The other part wanted it to go on forever.
Silence reigned for a moment. Was he doing what she thought he might be doing? It raised the sexual tension between them and built up the need until it became a flaming pyre.
“Draw your knees up.”
She did so.
“Let them fall open. No wider. Oh God,” she heard him groan and tried to visualize what he might be doing. Was he lying naked like her on silky sheets, flat on his back, trembling with need, massaging his arousal? Just the thought, let alone the pictures building up in her mind almost made her climax.
“Not yet, it’s too soon.” The relentless, sexy voice continued. “Take your forefinger and touch it to the tip of your tongue. Is it wet?”
�
�Yes.”
“Good.” She could have sworn she heard the rustle of silken sheets, almost felt the heat of Justin’s body, the power of his manhood, the way the hairs on his legs tickled as they rasped against her skin.
“Put it on that divine, rosy bud of yours and start massaging it gently, slowly building up the speed. Are you doing it?”
“Yes. Oh, Justin.”
“Faster, harder.”
She obeyed the sexy command instantly. It felt so good.
“Hold the phone close to you,” he growled. “I want to hear you when you come. Imagine it’s me. Oh God, Holly this is killing me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“If all else fails, take a freezing cold shower.”
She moved her finger faster and faster, building up the tension. Her whole lower body convulsed as the deepest, most intimate parts of her anatomy ignited.
“Justin,” she cried out his name as she climaxed. The cooling gush put out the flames, and she floated on a sensuous cloud of euphoria.
“How do you feel?”
“Wonderful,” she sighed.
“Will you be able to sleep now?”
“Oh Yes.”
“Lucky you.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “Sleep tight Holly.” He hung up the phone. He couldn’t believe the way he felt, breathless, trembling. Agony and ecstasy all rolled into one. He started working to slake his physical desire, as for his tumultuous emotions…
Why the hell didn’t he tell her about Owen being suspended from the hospital pending an enquiry over sexual misconduct? It was the reason he’d rung her, not to have phone sex, enjoyable though it was.
That sleazy little bastard had lied about Holly. Fired her because she rejected his advances. And you’re just as bad he thought with distaste. He had wanted to salve his conscience for blackmailing her into his bed by deliberately refusing to believe she hadn’t offered Owen sex for money. Deep down he knew she wasn’t capable of doing such a thing.
Oh God, he wanted her so bad it was killing him. The urgent call to Sydney was like manna from heaven. He needed time to get his emotions under control. To work out how he felt about her without sex. What a load of crap. He didn’t have the guts to admit his true feelings even to himself. He was terrified of making a mistake. Every time he thought of poor Brad, driven to suicide by a vicious greedy wife, he broke out in a cold sweat.
The Millionaire's Redemption Page 14