Heat Vol. 5 (Heat: Master Chefs #5)

by Kailin Gow

  “You probably think I was able to so cavalierly leave you and just move on with my life, but…” He snorted. “I thought I could, too. But… it hasn’t been easy. I think of you all the time.” Chuckling, he grabbed a lock of my hair and held it up. “It seems every girl in New York has your hair, your walk, your style. Then they turn around and… well, it’s not you. It’s never you, and I feel my heart break all over again. A while back I started to contemplate coming back here, if only for a weekend, a day… even just a moment so I could tell you to your face just how much I love you and want you in my life. I actually had my finger hovering over the ‘enter’ button, ready to buy a ticket for a flight out, but… Well, my mom needs me and I couldn’t just bail out on her.”

  “That’s very admirable of you, Bobby. I’m sure your mom really appreciates your help.”

  He nodded. “When I found your dad, I knew I had to come out. I’m not sure if I was using that as an excuse, or what, but… Well, you're here with me now.”

  “I’m glad you came, Bobby. I’m really happy to see you and of course, I want to thank you for finding my dad. I’ll forever be grateful for that.”

  “I was happy to do it… happy to see you with him again. I feel like I found a part of your childhood.”

  “That’s exactly what you found.” We smiled at one another and quietly sipped our coffees.

  “When we last saw each other… I,” he finally said. “I knew we weren’t on the best of terms. We’d gotten into a routine, in a rut. I guess I was to blame for that. I mean… look at you. You're well on your way to such big things, such success, what with your line of foods, and here I am, a culinary student who’s helping his mom out at the family restaurant. Your life is so full and exciting… for crying out loud, you're famous and you're already at the top of your field while I’m floundering as little more than a short order cook.”

  “Short order cook? Bobby, you’re more than that, and you know it. And you're not floundering. I heard you're making a good name for yourself in New York. It may not show now, but I’m sure your good reputation will open hundreds of doors. Just wait and see. Just because you have another path to follow than mine, doesn’t make it any less important or great. It might take you a little longer – after all, I had Errol’s help getting me started, if not who knows where I’d be – but you’ll get there… wherever it is you want to go.”

  “Wherever it is, I want it to be with you.”

  I had no idea what to say to him in reply and remained silent.

  He shrugged. “That’s right. I forgot. You met up with your past. How can I compete with the history you have with that guy? I’m just some punk kid from Brooklyn, while he’s… well, I don’t know what he does exactly, but I’m sure it’s grand. I mean, just the designer duds he had on the other night. Man, I’m just a chump next to him. How can I ask you to give all that up, to give all this up?” He swept his arm around us. “Paris… your whole life is here while mine is back there. I mean, I have to help my mom, and believe me, it really keeps me busy. I barely have a moment to myself… although I did find the time to look for your father. I thought it was the least I could do, and I’m glad I did. I mean, just the look on your face when you saw him was worth everything… everything.”

  “Bobby, you're rambling. What are you trying to say?”

  He sipped his coffee, his eyes dark and contemplative.

  “I have so little to offer you. I don’t have a grand chateau, and I don’t have millions, and I don’t have a brother with connections in the food industry. I have none of that.”

  “Bobby.”

  Setting his coffee down, he cupped my cheeks, his deep blue eyes boring through me and bringing me back to the first day I met him. I knew I still had love in my heart for him.

  “I want you back.”

  He was so blunt, he caught me off guard and I just stared at him while his hands dropped to clasp my hands.

  “I love you, Lilly and I want you to come back to New York with me.”

  “Bobby, I have…” Our lives were so incompatible… on two different journeys, and an ocean apart. He had to know that. “My work, my friends… everything.” And I still had so much to learn about who I was. I wasn’t ready to leave that behind. “Errol just made me responsible for Errol King Foods while he’s on a business trip in Hong Kong. And surely there’ll be a trial soon, and I have to be there, either to testify, or at least be present. I want to be there when those men are found guilty and when they’re sentenced.”

  “I love you, Lilly. Doesn’t that mean something?”

  “I love you, too, Bobby…” My heart broke as I looked at him and realized just how much I loved him.

  “But…”

  “But… New York? That’s a world away.”

  He pressed his lips tightly together and looked down at our clasped hands. “I guess that’s what I suspected you’d say. That’s probably why it took me so long to get around to asking you… I didn’t really want to hear the answer.”

  “I can’t imagine my life away from Paris, and I certainly can’t imagine a life in New York.”

  “It’s a great city.”

  “I don’t doubt that, but it’s not my city, it’s yours. I wouldn’t fit in there any more than you would fit in here, despite all the months you spent studying here, Paris is still a foreign city to you.”

  “I’d show you around, and… you’d adjust.”

  “Bobby, it’s not just that. You know where our relationship was going… and that was while we were both living here in Paris. The sex was great, but we weren’t really going anywhere. We were stagnating. If I go to New York with you, how long do you think it would be before the novelty of it all wore off and we’d find ourselves back to the status quo? A month? Maybe two?”

  He looked up at me and I was taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. “I was stupid and foolish then, but I’ve grown, Lilly. I’m ready to go to the next level, to take a step forward with you. Lilly, I want you to come back to New York with me, not just as my girlfriend, but as my girl.”

  “Your girl?” I said. What did that even mean? Nothing. It meant absolutely nothing. He was far from being ready to take a step forward in our relationship, and he didn’t even realize it. And I wasn’t about to coax him forward. If he wasn’t willing to give me his name, to put a ring on my finger… to make that ultimate commitment, then…

  Looking at him, his eyes so filled with deep emotion, his hair framing his face in a way I simply adored, I felt a deep churning of sexual tension that grew despite my reservations. I didn’t know what more to say to him.

  “Look… can you just think about it? I mean, take the time to consider all your options… you know, the pros and cons. Paris versus New York… Rial versus Bobby,” he said with a wry grin.

  I smiled, knowing I wanted him, but for how long? An hour? A night? There had to be more to our relationship than just that… and I had more, with Rial.

  Chapter 10

  “Hey, kids,” my dad said as we came into the apartment. He sat up and flicked the television off. “Have a nice stroll?”

  Bobby headed over to sit beside him. “It’s a beautiful night out.”

  “Yeah, Paris is quite a city.”

  “Don’t get me started…” Bobby said.

  “You know,” I said as I reached for my purse. “I’ll let you guys debate the merits of Paris and New York while I go to the market. If we’re to have breakfast tomorrow morning we’ll need eggs and milk and…. I’ll only be a few minutes. You men enjoy yourselves.” I rushed out the door before they could argue.

  Once outside, I stopped and stood on the sidewalk a moment, simply breathing in the cool night air. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and suffocated around Bobby. I knew he was waiting for an answer, but I didn’t know what to say to him.

  “First thing first,” I told myself. “Groceries.”

  I turned on my heel and headed to the all night market two blocks away. As I picked up
some milk and eggs, I marveled once more at the great meal Bobby had been able to serve us. Not only was there little to work with in the way of ingredients, but the majority of my best cooking utensils, and pots and pans were at Rial’s.

  Smiling at the true talent he was becoming I turned to the freezer and just as I reached in to grab the last pint of butter pecan ice cream, a dainty, well manicured hand reached in for the very same pint.

  “Pardonnez-moi,” I said as I turned to the woman, only to be met by a familiar face. “Taryn!”

  “You have no idea how I’ve been craving this.” Her smile was a mile wide.

  “Me, too.” I laughed as I pulled out the pint and held it up to her. “Here. I can survive with Rocky Road.”

  “I owe you one. I don’t know what it is about pecans, but these days, I just can’t seem to get enough.” She leaned in to give me a hug. “How are you holding up? I hear you’ve had quite a day.”

  “I’m better than I would have thought.”

  “And Bobby?”

  “He’s doing fine. He’s already back on his feet… cooking up a storm.”

  “That’s my kid brother for you. You knock him down and he gets right back up again.” She pressed a tight and solemn smile, and seemed prepared to talk of my ordeal, but her eyes brightened up and her smile widened. “I’m happy everything turned out well, and you're safe.”

  “Thanks.” We walked through the aisles together, while I picked up a few more items.

  “I didn’t have a chance to thank you yet for bringing Bobby back to Paris.”

  “I’m hardly responsible for that.”

  “Of course you are. He came back here for you.”

  I shrugged as I squeezed a loaf of bread and added it to my hand basket.

  “Anyway, I’m just glad you were able to tear him away from New York.”

  “Why? He loves New York.”

  “Maybe a little too much. Truth is, he needs to put Bobby Cummings, the street smart kid from Brooklyn, behind and get started on his own life. He has to become his own man.” She laughed. “Mr. Robert Cummings sounds nice, doesn’t it? I mean, I admire him for having set aside his studies to go help my mom out, but… I don’t know. Setting you aside? I don’t think that was such a good move. And to tell you the truth, I think my mother’s come to rely too heavily on Bobby. She just assumes he’ll stick around and run the restaurant, and he probably will, if someone doesn’t give him a solid kick in the butt. New York isn’t where he really belongs, not anymore.”

  “Where does he belong? Here?”

  We arrived at the cash register and I emptied my little basket and piled my things on the counter. “Here,” I said, reaching for her ice cream. “Let me take care of that.”

  She hesitated, but I insistently tugged on the pint and set it beside my things. We remained silent while I paid the cashier, and grabbed my bags of groceries.

  Outside, we faced one another. “Why don’t you come by to see Bobby?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Reaching for one of my bags, she added, “Let me make myself a little useful on the way.”

  I was reluctant to resume our discussion about Bobby, but my curiosity got the better of me. “So you really think Bobby’s better off here?”

  She let out a contemplative huff. “For now, I think so, yes. I mean, he wanted to go to the Culinary Institute more than anything, and he was a good student. Chucking it all away? I’m sure that doesn’t sit right with him. He’s just convincing himself that he’s doing the right thing by staying in New York to help Mom, but… I don’t know. Maybe it’s just an excuse to run away.”

  “He does seem devoted to her, and how would she manage without him?”

  “My mother is a lot more industrious than Bobby lets on. She’d find a way.” She turned to me. “He used to be devoted to you, you know. I know he still has a lot of growing up to do – far from my mother’s possessive arms – but he’s changed a lot since meeting you. You bring out something special in him, something I’ve never seen before.”

  I pressed a wan smile.

  “But something happened between you two, right?” she went on. “I mean, it’s none of my business, but Errol did mention something about you and his brother, Rial.”

  She could have been angry or upset that I’d set her brother aside to pursue a relationship with her new found brother-in-law, but her smile was warm and her eyes understanding.

  “It’s a bit awkward talking to you about this. I mean, Bobby’s…”

  “Yeah, he’s my kid brother, but I know affairs of the heart aren’t that simple. I don’t begrudge you wanting to find out what Rial has to offer. You're young and talented and beautiful, and you're right to take the time you need to find out what kind of man you really want in your life.”

  “To complicate things even more, I have a past with Rial.”

  Taryn nodded. “Errol mentioned that. You two were engaged?”

  I stopped walking and turned to face her. “I hate that Bobby got caught in the middle of all this. Up until recently, I’d forgotten all about Rial and the engagement. I’d forgotten everything about my childhood. If not, I never would have started anything with Bobby. I never wanted to hurt him.”

  “I know that. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball.” She chuckled. “You gotta figure out if you want to dodge it, or run out to catch it.”

  I laughed. “Well, I think I got it smack in the face.”

  “You seem to be doing okay. I mean, after all you went through in the past forty-eight hours, I certainly didn’t expect to see you out and about… doing your groceries no less.”

  “I lost it, when Rial and I were kids.” I pointed to my head. “I guess the love I had for him was really something strong… that Romeo and Juliet type of thing… and being separated almost destroyed both of us.”

  “I get you there. Errol and I have that kind of love… where you think you’ll die if you don’t see the other soon.” She looked sidelong at me and winked. “Like now. I’m already eager to have him back home. I don’t know how I’m going to manage with him in Hong Kong.”

  “Let’s have lunch together every day and commiserate.”

  She laughed. “You're on.”

  “I’m glad you came,” I said as we arrived at my building and reached my door. “I think it’ll do him some good to see you.”

  “Why’s that?”

  With my keys in hand, I turned to her, tears stinging my eyes. “As much as I love Bobby, as much as I wanted to be with him… I have too much to lose by leaving Paris for New York.” I shook my head, not wanting to say what I had to say. “With Rial, I have so much to gain. I have everything to gain, and I don’t just mean the chateau and the beautiful car and things like that. I mean, every day with him, I’m recovering a part of my past, my childhood, and I know I still have so much more to discover. I really do think I was meant to be with Rial for life. I’m becoming the person I was destined to be, and Rial is a part of that, while Bobby…”

  She looked past my shoulder and I immediately knew. With my heart at my heels, I turned to see Bobby, his face a mask of disappointment and loss.

  “I felt like a shmuck for letting you do your groceries on your own. I thought I’d go out and help you bring your groceries back.” He shrugged. “It’s the least I could do seeing how you’re letting me stay here.”

  “Bobby,” I whispered.

  “I thought you’d take rue de la Faisanderie back, but I see that you took rue Spontini.”

  “I’m so sorry, Bobby.”

  “Yeah. I guess I should’ve seen it coming.”

  Taryn wrapped her arm around him. “Buck up, kid. You’re a Cummings. You won’t be alone for long.”

  He forced a crooked smile.

  “I bet there’s someone waiting just around the corner to snatch you up.”

  “I’m in no rush.”

  “Can I give you a hug, too?” I said.

  He pulled me into his arms for a fie
rce hug. “Don’t worry about me, Lilly. I may be down, but I’m not defeated. I’ll bounce back. It might take a while, but…”

  “I wish things could have turned out differently.”

  “Don’t. Things turned out like this for a reason. I may not know what that reason is yet, but I’ll find out sure enough.” He pulled back and looked down at me. “Rial is the better man for you. I get that, but having known you is going to make me a better man as well. I’m not going to just sit back… I’m going to be a master chef… like Errol. The Cummings name is going to be synonymous with gourmet. You’ll see.”

  “And I’ll be the first one to toast your success.” I said.

  “If I might add,” Taryn said. “You're also going to have your hands full taking care of your little nephew or niece.” She pointed to the barely visible bump on her belly.

  Bobby’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “I’m going to be an uncle?”

  “That you are. In seven months or so.”

  “That means Mom is going to be a grandma. Maybe now she’ll stop nagging me about settling down and starting a family.”

  I smiled, reassured I’d made the right decision by choosing Rial. Bobby was far from a commitment to anyone. And I was far too eager to get settled down and build a life around my career, my man and the family that was sure to come.

  “Come on,” I said, slipping the key in the lock. “Let’s get this ice cream in the freezer before we end up with some very sticky cream.”

  While they came in behind me, it was clear the tension in the air made everyone uncomfortable.

  “Ice cream,” my dad said, oblivious of the tension. “Perfect.”

  “You mind if I crash at your place?” Bobby said to Taryn.

  My lips parted to protest, but I knew he was right. He couldn’t stay with me, not under the circumstances.

  “Sure. I’ll show you the baby clothes I bought.”