by Gina Gordon
“You did the best that you could.”
“I’m afraid it wasn’t good enough.” He turned their attention to where Aleks and his flavor of the week stood talking to a group of people. If Carrie had a sniper rifle she would have taken the slut out from a distance. She couldn’t stand the way her hands roamed all over his body.
“I’m afraid he’s going to end up like me.”
“I don’t think that’ll be the case.” He would always have someone. Carrie knew that. How long that someone stuck around, was the more likely question.
“She looks...”
“Like a slut.” Carrie quickly put her hand up to her mouth to cover it. That came out before she had a chance to filter her words, but the chuckle from Mr. Turko relaxed her a little.
“My son does have the tendency to attract that type of lady.” Mr. Turko turned to face her. “I wish he would settle down. I’m sure you know someone that would be good for him. Someone who won’t take his crap. Maybe someone who might be able to overlook his history.”
Mr. Turko looked at her with a strange glimmer in his eye. Maybe there was someone out there for Aleks, but it wasn’t Carrie’s responsibility to find her. Especially since the woman he just described fit her to a tee. Was he trying to tell her something?
“If you’re waiting for Aleks to settle down, you’ll be waiting a long time.”
“Maybe, but I will say that even though he has a date draped around his body, he doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you.” Mr. Turko winked, and they both looked in Aleks’s direction. He was gone. Flavor of the week still remained but Aleks...
“What are we talking about?”
Stood right in front of her. Immediately Carrie felt her face tense. Her look must have turned into a snarl because Aleks actually took a step back.
“Enjoying yourself, Dad?”
“Yes, I am. Just catching up with Carrie. I haven’t seen her for a while since she doesn’t have an excuse to come over to the house anymore.” He winked at her.
“Mr. Tur...John, you know I miss hanging around your house.”
“Maybe you should come by. Maybe you should both come by for a visit.”
It was unfortunate that Carrie’s conversation with Aleks’s dad was ruined by his presence. She couldn’t sit around and chit-chat with him. Besides, she needed to make sure the party was running smoothly.
“I really should get back to the party and make sure everything is okay.”
“Do you want help?” Aleks asked.
“Not from you.” She sneered one last time. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
What was she thinking? Showing Aleks that she cared. What was Mr. Turko thinking? Was
he really trying to make her believe Aleks looked at her for a reason other than friendship? Carrie was sure that’s what he was getting at. Regardless of his intentions, it was a good idea for her to leave Aleks and his father alone. They needed to talk. They didn’t do that very often.
Carrie approached a group of people and tried to join in on the conversation, but she was thinking about Aleks. Without even realizing it, her placement in the circle ensured she had the perfect view of him. She was pathetic.
Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them break through. She would wait. Wait until she was alone. Her pity party wouldn’t last very long, but it needed to be acknowledged. At least for a little while.
Aleks glanced in her direction more than once. Probably just gauging her rage. He knew eventually he would have to hear about his date choice. That’s what they did. Aleks picked inappropriate women to go out with and she ragged on him. Partly out of jealousy, partly out of frustration, partly as an attempt to make him wise up and notice her as a woman. But even after all these years it still didn’t work.
He looked because he was nervous, that’s all. But there was nothing nervous about his stare. It was soft and sympathetic, and it looked like he was longing for something. Yeah, the skinny chick he brought to the party. He probably couldn’t wait to get out of here and take her home. But he wasn’t with her, was he? Carrie shook the thought out of her head. There was no way his subtle glances had anything to do with wanting her. There was just no way.
* * * *
Aleks watched Carrie sashay toward a group of people. Before she joined the conversation she stole a quick glance over her shoulder. For a split second their eyes met, but she quickly looked away. He thought maybe if his dad was around she would stay, but apparently not.
“Nice party.”
“Yep.” Aleks continued to keep his eyes on Carrie, although she did her best to ignore him. When she did look at him it was with disgust.
“If looks could kill... That girl is mighty mad at you.” “Yes, she is.” They both looked over.
“You love her.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t a question. Your mother always said your eyes were the window to how you were feeling. For the first time, I see what she meant.”
Aleks couldn’t believe his dad would say something like that. They never discussed their feelings. They didn’t discuss much of anything, and he wasn’t about to start now.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, no? I know love when I see it.”
“You? Love? You haven’t dated anyone since Mom left. What do you know about love?” “I know that it ties you up inside. It makes you do things, feel things, think things you never
would have thought you were capable of. And I know the pain of losing that love. I loved your mother with all my heart, and when she left she took my heart with her.”
This was the first time they had talked about his runaway mother. At a party with fifty people milling about.
“Dad, we don’t–”
“No. We do. I see it for the first time. She loves you too.”
“I don’t know about that. She’s pretty pissed.” Aleks glanced over and caught her gaze.
Carrie had every right to be pissed.
“Why did you bring that girl with you?”
“Do we really have to do this here? Now?”
“I haven’t done right by you. I haven’t been a good example. I’ve let you grow up afraid to love. I let you grow up thinking that making a connection with someone wasn’t worth it.”
That’s exactly how he felt. Except when it came to Carrie. They had the connection. He might even love her, but why would he inflict his issues on someone so perfect? She deserved a better life. “I have been lonely for so long. The Taylors have something special. I want that something for you. I’ll be damned if twenty years from now we’ll be the two old men having Christmas dinner alone.”
“Even if I do love her, I’m not the right person for her.”
“I bet she would disagree.”
Aleks looked at his dad with sarcasm.
“It doesn’t make you any less of a man if you give yourself over to a woman. Especially one who has been in your life for so long.” His dad slapped his hand on his shoulder. “You better wise up, son. One day you’ll wake up and she’ll be with someone else, and that feeling is worse than not taking the chance in the first place.”
It had taken almost twenty years for his dad to give him sound advice. Maybe he was right.
“There you are, babe. I’ve been looking for you.” A bony arm slid its way around Aleks’s back, and a body sidled up to him. The wrong body. His date. “You must be Aleks’s dad. Great to meet you.”
He watched his dad and date exchange pleasantries, a sick feeling rising in his throat.
What was he thinking bringing her here? Pulling a move like this might have been the last straw for Carrie. After what they had shared, for him to show up with some random skank was a slap in the face. He should have thought this through. He should have thought harder and longer for another way to distance himself. Instead he jumped into his plan the only way he knew, the selfish way. The easiest way–for him. He never thought about what this would do to Carrie.
He never thought that she could feel... Exactly! You never think, Turko.
Aleks looked over, hoping Carrie could see the sick feeling he couldn’t ignore, the guilt he couldn’t shake.
His eyes roamed from left to right, but she was gone. * * * *
Carrie entered the kitchen through the patio door and stepped around the flurry of workers. The party was winding down and had been a huge success. Her parents were surprised, grateful, and having a blast. That was all that mattered. The fact that Aleks Turko brought a date, the fact that they had shared the most intimate time and he brought a random girl into her home to flaunt in her face, that was all beside the point.
She sidled into the dining room and watched through the window as the remaining guests flitted from table to table. The sky lit up with orange and pink hues as the sun made its way to the horizon.
They’d done a good job. The four of them. Martina was already considered family. The moment she had met their parents she had been adopted, and ever since Carrie could remember Aleks had been one of them, an honorary Taylor. It would make sense that he was involved in the planning.
As if he knew she was thinking about him, Aleks wandered into the dining room with Rob and Martina, the flavor of the week trailing behind. Carrie could smell her cheap perfume from ten feet away.
“We did a great job, huh, Care?” Rob sauntered over and wrapped his thick arms around her. “Yes, we did, brother. Mom and Dad look really happy.”
“What about you, Aleks?” Carrie tightened at the sound of the flavor of the week speaking in a squeaky, airhead voice. She was sure her brother felt her tension. “You helped too.”
“I know, babe. We all helped.”
Carrie felt the little plate of food she had managed to get down regurgitate in her throat. A
slow burn of wrath simmered under the surface.
“Oh, Aleks, don’t be so modest.” Carrie eyed the flavor menacingly. “After all, you did do
the most work. Making sure the bartender had ice is hard work.” Her brother chuckled.
When was she going to learn not to let these floosies get under her skin? Maybe when he bringsagirlhomethat’sworthyofthefiftydollarlipsticksheneedstomakeherselfattractive.It would be especially hard now that Aleks had reeled her in and prevented her from loving anyone else ever again.
His date seemed to hold her own as Carrie eyed her angrily, but her look softened when she looked up at Carrie’s man. Not her man. Aleks was not her man.
“I don’t think she’s being very nice.” She pouted her collagen lips, her words coming out in baby talk.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Carrie screamed.
Rob grabbed Carrie by the arm and yanked her back before she had the chance to lunge at the fake blond. “Okay, Carrie. Let’s go and make sure Mom and Dad are having a good time.” Martina latched onto her other arm and helped push her out of the room.
Carrie loved the fact that the bimbo recoiled a bit at her outburst but not Aleks. He just took it in stride. No emotion. As usual. No reaction to Carrie in the least.
Before she was fully out of the room she stopped and glared at Aleks. “By the way, I knew you would be too busy socializing so I put aside a piece of carrot cake for you. It’s in the fridge.” She turned and let them usher her out, vowing that was the last time she’d go out of her way
to make Aleks Turko happy.
* * * *
Even though he knew it earlier this week, even last week, even when they were kids, Aleks had finally come to terms with the fact that he was in love with Carrie. Carrie Taylor a.k.a. his surrogate sister.
It was the tiniest thing putting aside that piece of cake. His favorite cake in the whole world. She knew that. She knew him better than he knew himself. The sexual fantasies, the lingerie, all tugged at his cock but the other stuff, from the physical and emotional reaction she had to the women he brought home to the cake, that tugged at his heart.
“Mmm, I love carrot cake.” His date purred against him. Aleks had actually forgotten she was there. Her hands snaked up his chest and wrapped around his neck. “Let’s see what naughty things we can do with some icing.”
Normally, his dick would stand at attention at a proposition like that, but she wasn’t Carrie and he wasn’t interested.
“Aleks?”
“Not tonight, babe. I’ll take you home.”
He had it bad. Aleks knew it. But what was he going to do about it? There had to be some goodness inside him. Some redeemable quality.
If Carrie loved him, like his father suggested, there had to be something about him that was worthy of her. She wouldn’t waste her time on just anyone. Years of friendship told him that she didn’t enter into anything lightly, especially not love. Carrie analyzed everything to death. She had to have spent some time analyzing her feelings for him. He just didn’t know where those feelings fit into her life.
Aleks needed to find out, but he feared he was too late. His stunt today might have already sealed his fate in the friendship category forever.
He had persuasion on his side. His ace in the hole. Maybe giving her what she wanted might persuade her to give him another chance. Then, after all was said and done, if Carrie decided that she wanted nothing to do with him, at least he would know he’d tried everything he could to get her.
Chapter 14
Carrie hunched over her sewing machine. The quick rattle of the needle bobbing up and down soothed her. She hadn’t had any intention of visiting her workroom. When she’d asked Martina and Rob to finish up, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and hide. But before she hit the stairs to the second floor she’d noticed a woman wearing a straight, a-line dress and immediately an idea for a teddy came into her brain. Instead of hiding, she ended up in the basement, sifting through fabric and lace, trying to put her idea into action.
It didn’t matter that the piece would be stained with her tears. Her actions were cathartic. Hopefully by the time she was done she could regroup and try and piece her heart back together.
Carrie wasn’t concerned about being in the basement, which was Aleks’s domain. Most likely he was already in his car, driving to the bimbo’s place, and wouldn’t be home before the clock struck midnight. She would be long gone by then.
She was torn between complete devastation and complete peace. On the one hand, she just wanted to crawl into a hole. She didn’t know how she would ever recover from this. Aleks had been her heart for most of her life and it would be hard to cut him out of it. It would also be hard to keep him around knowing her dreams of a happily ever after would never come true. On the other hand, it gave her a sense of calm to finally know where she stood. Aleks bringing that bimbo to the party told her in no uncertain terms that there was nothing between them other than friendship. And maybe, just maybe, she could move on. Eventually.
She didn’t notice the figure standing in the doorway until a shadow loomed over her.
Carrie hoped like hell it was her brother or Martina or one of her parents. Anyone other than the man who she knew was standing there simply by the smell of him.
When she looked up, that same haunted look was spread across his face, but this time she didn’t feel sorry for him. This time she was angry. Despite it being a special occasion, Aleks was still Aleks, dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt. No matter what he wore, he was always the hottest man in the room.
“Don’t use that face on me,” she spat in disgust.
“What?”
“That face. The ‘woe is me’ face. The ‘I have issues and I need you to love me’ face.” “When have I ever asked you to love me?”
“Exactly!”
Carrie stood up quickly and the chair slid along the carpet. She tried to leave, but he blocked her way.
“I won’t stay in here with you. Please let me out.” “No.”
“Shouldn’t you be lying horizontal right about now?”
“Do you love me?” His words knocked her back a few feet. Carrie was glad
for the space. “Answer my question.”
“There’s nothing to answer.” She wiped her eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn’t make their way down her cheeks. “Even if I did, you can’t give me what I need and I’m obviously not enough to hold your interest.”
“Is that what you think?”
“You brought that bimbo into my house!”
“That was a mistake. I thought...I thought that’s all I was capable of. I convinced myself I
wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t...I don’t want to hurt you, Carrie.”
“Too late. You’ve been breaking my heart for years. Every time I see you with a girl. Every time you pat me on the back instead of taking me in your arms. I let myself fall in love with you and now I need to let you go.” Carrie rested her bottom on the edge of the sewing table and hung her head. “Look, I’m not an idiot, Aleks. I know I’m not perky and blond or–”
He crowded her space in less than three strides. “I don’t want blond and perky.” “Oh, no? Little Miss Compliment certainly seemed to think you were into her.” “I took her home.”
“And then you banged her.”
“No! Christ, Carrie. Will you listen?”
“I’m done listening. I’m done with this game we’ve been playing.”
“Fine! Don’t listen. Just feel.”
He captured her lips, pushing her back against the sewing machine. She tried to grab on to something, anything she could get her hands on but they flailed, grasping onto spools of thread and fabric. The only concrete thing for her to grab on to was him.
Carrie had never felt so much intensity, so much angst radiating from one sensual kiss. Aleks pulled away. Eyes that were once green were now black. “I’ll give you what you want.” “Don’t do this, Aleks.”
He looked at her. Really looked. Carrie knew anything she uttered would be unnecessary.
Her anger had turned to desire the moment his lips touched hers, and she had no doubt he could see the fire blazing in her eyes. And Aleks made no attempt to hide the hunger in his.
“You wanted to be with Aleks the man whore.” He moved his hands over her body. Skimming her breasts, they slid down between her legs and cupped her sex.