Lilian wondered if Kevin knew that steam was pouring out of his ears.
“Kevin, are you okay?”
“Y-yes, I’m fine… it’s just… I’m just… auu…”
Before the situation could degrade any further for poor Kevin, a new voice spoke up, sounding almost surprised.
“Kevin? Lilian?”
Two sets of eyes turned to see Lindsay standing a few feet away. With her were several other girls who Kevin vaguely recognized as belonging on the tomboy’s soccer team. Her wide eyes blinked in surprise. Kevin had the distinct impression that he was the cause, and he belatedly realized that she had probably never expected to find him in a women’s clothing store. He could understand. Less than a month ago, he would have never expected to find himself in a women’s clothing store, either. The girls behind her were pointing at Kevin as they giggled.
It took every ounce of willpower Kevin had not to run away screaming.
Gathering whatever was left of his nearly nonexistent dignity, Kevin coughed into his hand and tried to pretend he was not in a women’s clothing store making a fool of himself.
“Lindsay, what are you doing here?”
“Just picking up some items that I need, and window shopping, too, I guess.” Which was her way of saying her friends wanted to look at cute clothes and dragged her along, as Lindsay didn’t like shopping at girly stores. She was a tomboy through and through. “And you two? I’m kinda surprised to see you looking at more clothes. Didn’t you guys do some shopping just a few days ago?”
“We did,” Lilian answered for both of them. “We’re just looking right now. I wanted to try this on―” she gestured to the dress she was wearing, then gave a beaming smile in Kevin’s direction— “―and Kevin was kind enough to indulge me.”
“Is that so?” Lindsay grinned as Kevin tried to hide his blush by sinking his face into his shirt. Behind the blond tomboy, he could hear girlish squeals and words like “how romantic” and “what a nice boyfriend” coming from the peanut gallery. He wished they would stop talking. “That’s nice of him.”
Lilian nodded her head effusively. “Isn’t it?” Her brilliant smile was soon replaced by curiosity. “You mentioned that you were doing some shopping of your own. Are you looking for clothes?”
“Naw.” Lindsay shook her head. “We’re just sort of wandering around. We were actually about to grab some ice cream. Would you two like to join us?”
Kevin and Lilian looked at each other, silently conversing. A moment later, they looked back at Lindsay and nodded.
“Sure,” Kevin said.
“Cool. I think this is the last store my friends plan on dragging me to. Once they finish looking around, we’ll head over to the ice cream parlor.”
***
Kevin and Lilian bought some ice cream with Lindsay and the rest of her soccer friends. Since they had already eaten, however, they only got a small bowl with two different flavors (chocolate and strawberry) that they ended up sharing―all Lilian’s suggestion, of course. How the beautiful fox-girl had convinced him to share a bowl of ice cream with her was something Kevin would never understand.
“Is something wrong, Kevin?” Lilian asked when she noticed his spoon pause halfway to his mouth.
“No,” Kevin said after a moment. He ate the spoonful of ice cream, swallowed, and then went in for another scoop. “I was just thinking about something, that’s all.”
“Oh?” Lilian’s tone was tinged with inquisitiveness. “What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing important.”
“Hmmm…” Lilian decided not to try prying the information from him. It probably wasn’t that important anyway. Certainly not as important as enjoying ice cream with her mate. “If you say so.” Scooping some ice cream onto her spoon, Lilian held it up near Kevin’s mouth and smiled. “Here, you should try some of the strawberry ice cream as well.”
Kevin looked like he wanted to turn into a kappa,a type of turtle yōkai,so that he could hide within his shell.
“I-I can feed myself you know. You don’t have to feed me like I’m some kind of baby.”
Lilian pouted at him.
“I know that. I’m not doing this because you can’t feed yourself. I just want to do something nice for you.”
Kevin tried not to feel too embarrassed by Lilian’s words or actions. He also tried to ignore his racing heart, instead choosing to silently contemplate the fox-girl, before slowly deciding there was no harm in indulging her.
“W-well, I suppose it would be okay if you’re just trying to be nice.”
“Thank you. Now try some of this strawberry ice cream. It’s really good. It even has cheesecake bits in it.”
While he and Lilian partook in a bowl of cold, creamy goodness together, the other members of their little troupe gossiped. Quite naturally, they were the subject of said gossip. The all-girl’s soccer team spoke about him and Lilian with all the subtlety of a Death Star destroying a planet.
“Oh. My. God. Aren’t those two just the cutest?”
“I know, right? They look so adorable sitting there together, sharing a sundae. It’s, like, totally cute.”
“I’m still surprised Kevin had it in him to even speak to a girl like Lilian. I mean, just look at her! She’s gorgeous!”
“I know, right? Wasn’t he, like, majorly shy around girls or something?”
“Totes. The poor guy couldn’t even talk to a girl a month ago. Now look at him.”
“I wonder what changed?”
“I know, right?”
“Jessica… you say that way too much.”
“I know, ri—I mean, sorry.”
As the conversation flowed around her, Lindsay stared at the blond and the redhead. Kevin was blushing, sending furtive glances in the direction of the other girls as they talked. His cheeks would darken in hue each time, like solar flares, before his eyes skittered away again. Lilian must have heard the gossip as well, but she didn’t seem to care. All of her attention was on Kevin, delighting in the act of feeding him ice cream.
Just how Lilian had convinced Kevin to let her feed him was something Lindsay would never understand. It should have been impossible—yet there she was, seeing it with her own eyes. Maybe the girl’s miraculous powers of persuasion lied behind that sexy pout of hers, or perhaps it lay within those large green eyes, which held an innocent allure few men—and maybe even some women—would be unable to resist. Lindsay couldn’t say for sure.
Maybe it has something to do with her boobs…
Now there was a thought. Lilian’s breasts were definitely enticing, and large. They were also the subject of much conversation at school, both from guys and girls, and Lindsay had once heard that all men loved big boobs. Then again, Eric had been the one to say that, and he was a pervert. She probably shouldn’t listen to him.
Regardless of the how, seeing them like this really did strike home the point that Lilian was a much better match for Kevin than she was. Lindsay had never made a concerted effort to make Kevin hers, which she supposed was because he had already liked her, but Lindsay would be lying if she said that had been the only reason.
The truth of the matter was that she had wanted him to man up and tell her how he felt without any prompting on her part. She still didn’t know if that decision had been a mistake or not, but guessed that only time would tell.
“Are you all right, Lindsay?”
Snapping out of her trance, she looked at her friend, Chelsea, who was staring at her in concern.
“Hmm? Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You haven’t touched your ice cream.”
Lindsay looked down at her untouched bowl of vanilla ice cream, then grabbed the spoon and scooped some up.
“I’m fine. I was just thinking about something and it distracted me.”
Chelsea looked unconvinced, but seemed to decide not to pry.
“If you say so.”
The gathering of giggling females continued talki
ng as Lilian and Kevin had traded positions, with a blushing Kevin now feeding an ecstatic Lilian. Lindsay remained contemplative,
absentmindedly eating her ice cream while debating the merits of having not pursuing Kevin more seriously. However, all of that was about to change.
“MY TIT MAIDEN!”
It started with bestial shouting. As the loud, resounding cry of joy and lust reverberated down the hall like the roar of a perverted old man hyped up on Viagra, Kevin, Lilian, Lindsay and everyone else turned their heads to see Eric Corrompere flying towards them at Mach speed.
“Oh, my beautiful Tit Maiden, with those overgrown mammaries that I love so much!” Eric cried out, tears streaming out of his eyes in quantities so vast it was a wonder he hadn’t caused the entire mall to flood. “It’s always a joyous day when I get a chance to bask in those grabiliciously ginormous gazongas of yours!”
He appeared before Lilian, his hands reaching out to grab hers. None of them knew for what purpose, but it didn’t matter anyway. He didn’t succeed.
Quicker than a whip, Lilian snatched her hands away from his grasping appendages, the fingers of which wiggled like a perverted tentacle monster. This did not deter Eric, however, who simply began crying joyful tears that much harder.
“Please give me the chance to squeeze those giant tatas of yours!”
Lilian opened her mouth to speak―likely to let the lecher know where he could shove his request―when a fist brutally drove itself into Eric’s cranium.
“DOOF!” Eric was slammed face first into the floor. He sat up, rubbing his head as a large lump formed on top, and glared at the person responsible. “What the hell was that for?!”
“That was for being an idiot.” Kevin’s right eye twitched violently as the vein on his forehead pulsed in time with his heartbeat.
“An idiot, am I?!” Looking like an enraged baboon, Eric jumped to his feet and menacingly shook his right fist at Kevin. “Who are you calling an idiot?!”
“You, obviously.” Kevin sat back down and crossed his arms. “Seriously, Eric, can’t you, for once in your life, think with something other than that thing dangling between your legs?”
“Maybe I will when you start thinking with yours!” Angry and defiant, Eric stood to his full not-inconsiderable-height and stared his best friend down with an expression reminiscent of the Hulk's—if the Hulk had looked like a human that had been crossbred with a monkey. “Maybe if you weren’t such a pansy and actually acted like a man for once, I wouldn’t have to act like this! Did you think about that? Well?!”
Kevin’s eye twitching increased.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means what it means.”
“That’s not an answer! And don’t try to sound so cryptic! You’re not a wise old man wearing a bathrobe; mysterious and vague doesn’t suit you!”
As Kevin began arguing with Eric, Lindsay leaned over in her seat and whispered to Lilian, who was watching the battle of words unfold with rapt attention.
“It looks like Kevin’s beginning to get a bit protective over you, huh?”
Lilian smiled.
“It does seem that way, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you did to help Kevin get over his girl problem,” Lindsay continued, “but I’m glad you did.” Looking at the curvaceous redhead, Lindsay bit her bottom lip. “And please, take care of him for me.”
Observing the soccer player with keen eyes that saw more than they probably should, Lilian sat silently for several seconds before her countenance softened.
“Don’t worry, I will. I promise.”
Lindsay gave her a grateful, if watery, smile.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The two smiled at one another, sharing in a moment of camaraderie, one that they had yet to experience in the three weeks they'd known each other. It looked like this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship—
“I’m just saying that if you stopped pussy-footing around, we wouldn’t be in this mess! You’d have your girl and I’d have my Tit Maiden! Everyone would be happy!”
“No, they wouldn’t! You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about! No one would be happy but you! And stop mentioning Tit Maidens!”
—and the deterioration of another friendship.
Chapter 2
Mall Time Troubles
Half-an-hour after leaving the ice cream parlor Lindsay and her soccer friends, along with Kevin, Lilian and Eric, met up with Justin, Alex and Andrew.
Several minutes after that, they ran into Christine.
“Let go of him! Can’t you see that Kevin doesn’t like you yanking on him like that?!”
“Me? Ha! You’re the one who’s pulling his arm off, ya damn vixen! You let go!”
“You first!”
Standing on the sidelines of what looked to be an epic argument between a certain fox-girl and a snow maiden, Eric, Lindsay, Alex, Andrew, Justin and the rest of Lindsay’s soccer team all watched the ensuing conflict with their best “I have no idea how this happened” faces.
“Wow, those two really don’t want each other to have Kevin,” Katy, one of Lindsay’s soccer teammates, said, her eyes riveted on the battle.
Lindsay watched the tug-of-war between Lilian and Christine—who had appeared a few minutes after they’d left the ice cream parlor—worrying for her friend caught in the middle of this fiendish struggle. Kevin wasn’t looking too good, what with the eyes rolled up in the back of his head and the arm yanking and everything.
“Do you think we should stop them, Eric…” Lindsay trailed off, her expression deadpanning when she saw Eric viciously biting his T-shirt and glaring daggers at his best friend.
“Damn that Kevin!” he grumbled, though, because his mouth was full of shirt, it sounded more like “mam ma Feffin!” Lindsay did her best to translate the boy’s unusual tirade. “Foof Af Fim, fanfing fere wif fose fomen fifing ofer him! Fuffy Bafard! Fam fu, Fefin Sfif!”
Somehow, Lindsay actually managed to translate the string of unintelligible mutterings: “look at him, standing there while those women fight over him! Lucky bastard! Damn you, Kevin Swift!” At least, that was what she thought he was saying. It wasn’t like she had ever listened to someone speak while they were gnawing on their shirt.
Standing to Eric’s left, Alex and Andrew were also discussing the dilemma of Kevin, whose arms looked like they might tear at the seams if they were pulled any harder.
“I am feeling this strange combination of envy and sympathy for our friend.” Alex’s frown expressed his conflicting feelings quite accurately. “Is that natural?”
Andrew took a good, long look at Kevin. The blond teen’s limp body dangled between the two girls as they yanked with all their might. Each time one of them pulled him toward them, Kevin’s head would flop around like a wet noodle, making him look more like a ragdoll than a human. Neither of the girls fighting over him seemed to notice that he was already unconscious.
“I am not sure. I certainly do not believe feeling pity and envy for one person at the same time is natural, and yet, I cannot help but share your sentiments. I am unsure as to whether I envy him or feel sorry for him.”
“… Cat… fox?… cold…”
Everyone within Justin’s generally vicinity stared at the boy very, very oddly.
Lindsay turned back to the tug-of-war, frowning.
“I’m still not even sure how this happened,” she mused. Should she stop those two before they hurt Kevin even more? She wanted to, but…
“That,” Andrew started, also turning back to the War of the Kevin, “Is something I believe the rest of us would like to know as well.”
His words were met by several nods all around, as it seemed everyone wanted to know the exact same thing. Lindsay tried recalling the events that had led to this moment.
***
Not long after Eric joined the group, they met up with Kevin’s other friends. The
twins joined their expanding party first, having met them just as they were leaving the ice cream parlor. Justin was the third person to join them after he saw the group coming out of a sweet shop with several bags of candy.
With the group having expanded, they all decided to travel to the arcade. None of the girls were big on arcade games, but that didn’t mean they weren’t into earning tickets to win prizes. Some of the stuffed animals at the ticket booth were just too adorable.
While on their way to the arcade, they ran into Christine. The yuki-onna dressed in gothic lolita fashion had been coming out of a store that sold, well, gothic stuff, just as the large troupe walked past her. It didn’t take the girl much effort to spot Kevin within the group. It also didn’t take very long for her face to turn a lovely shade of “beach-ball blue” as she remembered her dream that morning.
“YOU!”
The entire group halted in their tracks, turned, and watched as Christine stomped over to Kevin with a face that could outshine a star.
Kevin blinked several times as the snow maiden marched up to him with DOOM in her eyes, or embarrassment—no one present could be sure. With tsunderes, those two things tended to go hand in hand.
“Eh? Christine?”
Kevin was about to smile at his friend and give her a proper greeting when he noticed something unusual about the girl.
“Hey, are you feeling okay? Your face is all, um, blue.”
“You… you… you…!”
Christine’s face became, surprisingly enough, even bluer than before, shifting from an icy hue to a deeper ocean blue. The temperature around her also began dropping at an astonishing rate, causing several girls to cry out when they were suddenly struck by icy winds and hoarfrost that froze their skirts solid.
“My Gothic Hottie!”
Eric, completely oblivious to the mood, as well as Christine’s embarrassment-induced rage, rushed toward the pretty girl with snow-white skin. His hands, already extended, made creepy grasping motions that had all of the girls shivering in disgust and fear, or maybe they were still shivering from the cold. Perhaps a combination of both? Kevin wasn’t sure.
“Oh, how I’ve missed those tiny titties of yours! Please give me the honor of squeezing―guh!”
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