by Matt Haig
He nodded in mock agreement. ‘You are absolutely right. I have to stop this. I have to stop this . . . And by this, I clearly mean you.
You three. You are a serious hindrance to the revolution. Wouldn’t you say, Leaf?’
Leaf was the name of the snake around Mortimer’s neck.
Evie could see the snake clearly now, under the moonlight. It was a plump vivid-green emerald tree boa.
‘Me and Leaf go way back . . .’ Mortimer explained to Evie. ‘As far back as me and your mother, actually. Ecuador. I found him not too far from your old hut . . . He resisted my Talent a little. But we got there, eventually . . .’
Evie’s dad stepped forward. ‘Mortimer, please, leave us alone.’
‘Don’t be a spoil-sport,’ Mortimer said. ‘Let’s play a game! It’s called “Snake, lion or gorilla”. Basically, you can choose how you want to die.’ He pointed at Granny Flora. ‘Oldest first. That seems fair. How do you want to die?’
‘No,’ said Evie’s dad. ‘Me first. Start with me. The one you knew first . . .’
Mortimer looked at him with pity. ‘Poor old Santiago. Always too late, too weak, too pathetic to be the hero.’ He then spoke to Granny Flora and repeated his question, slower this time. ‘How. Do. You. Want. To. Die?’
Granny Flora chuckled darkly. She didn’t want Evie to see she was scared. ‘I am a mere eighty-two years old. I have no plans on dying any time soon, thank you very much.’
Mortimer cupped a hand to his ear, pretending he hadn’t heard. ‘Snake, you say? Well, that’s convenient. Because Leaf right here—’
‘No,’ said Granny Flora, playing for time. ‘I choose lion.’ And she pointed at one of the male lions. The one with the largest mane. The one furthest away. The one who had stood behind the lioness at the zoo.
Mortimer beckoned the lion forward. The beast prowled closer. Its mane looked black in the dark.
It growled in front of the three of them.
Evie’s dad noticed the look on his daughter’s face. He could see she was focusing deeply on the snake around Mortimer’s neck. He knew whatever she was attempting would take some time. So he decided to speak.
‘You know,’ he said to Mortimer. ‘You’re right. I’m too weak. I don’t have any special Talent. I am just a man who tries to fix broken things. But I would rather be me. I would rather be able to do a little good than to do a whole world of bad.’
‘Oh, are you giving me a lesson?’ said Mortimer, fake-yawning. ‘So inspiring.’
Evie’s dad kept speaking, playing for time, as Evie stared at the boa constrictor. ‘I knew the very first time I met you in Ecuador that you were bad news. But, somehow, I can’t hate you. Even after all you’ve done. To be as evil as you are must be such a curse. To have no light in your soul. Nothing but darkness . . . You don’t deserve hate. Hate is a waste of energy. You have a great Talent, but it means nothing. Because you have lost yourself. You are nothing. You are a black hole.’
‘Shut your mouth, Santiago,’ snapped Mortimer.
‘No. No, I won’t. Because you don’t understand what you are doing. What is the point of all this? What happens? What will you do?’
‘I . . . I don’t want to be an app-ten-tice,’ said Sam, pulling his hand out of Mortimer’s. ‘I want to go home.’
Evie, meanwhile, was concentrating very hard on trying to make the world disappear. She remembered what Plato had said. You must go to the woods. There, you will find all that you seek. There, your past will free your future . . .
And so she kept staring at the snake around Mortimer’s neck, as if it held the answer to everything.
Leaf’s Revenge
s Evie stared, she had the strange sensation that she had seen him before. The snake. Leaf. But where? But where? But where?
The zoo. No, it wasn’t there.
And then she had it.
The dream!
The dream of the green tree snake and the poison dart frog.
She still remembered that dream vividly. Because it hadn’t been a dream at all. It had been something that had actually happened. To her. To the her she used to be. The little girl called Isabella Eva Navarro. Something that she kept remembering, night after night.
And she thought of it now.
Evie stared at the snake around Mortimer’s shoulders. And then she closed her eyes as she remembered.
She tried to picture it all.
That brightly coloured, pretty blue and black frog. She had known this frog meant danger. But the snake hadn’t. The snake had been even younger than her. It hadn’t known that the frog’s skin was full of enough fatal poison to kill ten grown men.
She remembered urging the snake not to touch it.
‘It will kill you.’
She remembered the snake stopping to look at her.
‘If you even touch that frog, you will be dead,’ Evie had said, with her mind.
She remembered feeling the snake inside her mind. She remembered hearing its thoughts. ‘It looks plump. It looks tasty.’
‘No,’ Evie had told the snake firmly, pressing the thought into him. ‘It is deadly. It is a poison dart frog. You are still a very young snake. You don’t understand these things.’
‘Why do you want to save me?’ the snake – Leaf – had asked.
‘Because I can.’
She had known that both the snake and the frog could kill her, but that hadn’t meant she wanted them dead.
And then she remembered the important bit. Of the dream. Of the memory.
The snake had said: ‘Thank you. You are a good human. Not like Mortimer.’
Mortimer. He had actually said the name.
‘Who is Mortimer?’
‘He is after me. He is trying to control me . . .’
As Evie kept her eyes closed, she felt the snake enter her thoughts.
‘It was you!’
Evie opened her eyes and focused on the snake. Thought of the bow and arrow technique. ‘Yes, it was me. I tried to save you. Unlike Mortimer, who tried to control you. Who is still trying to control you . . .’
And then she heard Mortimer’s voice. ‘What’s going on? Leaf, what are you doing? You are under my control . . . You know you are under my control . . . I command you. I command everything. I have power over the dawa . . .’
The snake was moving around him now. Coiling around him. Around his neck and chest and stomach. Squeezing tighter. And tighter.
‘You don’t control me,’ thought Leaf. ‘No one controls me. You took me from my home, and I won’t forgive you. You will not harm the girl who saved my life. I will not let you . . .’
‘Leaf!’ shouted Mortimer, his eyes bulging. ‘Slide off me! Get off me and across the grass and constrict yourself around that old human woman! Now! Now! Nowaaaagh!’
Sam stared up in horror and fascination.
‘Wow,’ he whispered.
Mortimer tried to grab the snake and pull it away with his tattooed hands, but it was too late. Evie knew that Amazonian emerald tree boas could kill their prey quite quickly and it was really only a matter of seconds before Mortimer was lying still, dead, on the ground. Leaf sat there, still wrapped around his former master, making sure he wasn’t going to move again.
And now, with Mortimer gone, the animals were freed from his control.
So Granny Flora used her Talent and reached out and touched the face of the lion who was about to kill her. And he sat down, like a pussy cat.
‘Good boy,’ said Granny Flora. ‘There’s a good boy.’
Within minutes there were cars and lorries and flashing lights heading towards them on the road at the bottom of the grass slope they were standing on. The four dogs who had dug the hole emerged from the tunnel the rabbits had dug, awake and no longer brainwashed.
The Maltese terrier yapped, ‘What’s going on? What’s going on?’
‘Bibi!’ said Evie. ‘You’re you again.’
Then, out of one of the lorries – which had ‘LOF
TING ZOO’ written on the side of it – stepped Ramesh and his mother, with her tranquiliser gun.
The police were there too. With lots of questions, obviously, but one of them was soon to be answered. They had footage of Mortimer, with Leaf around his neck, breaking into the zoo.
‘Well,’ said Granny Flora, ‘I guess Plato was right. We had to stay and solve this. And we did. Well, Evie did.’
Evie’s dad agreed. ‘Yes. Yes, she did. She’s my star – mi estrella – and I should have followed her all along.’
‘Thanks, Dad,’ said Evie.
And there would be hugs and smiles and tears later. But right then, there were two people with the Talent who could help the animals get back to the zoo. So that is exactly what they did.
An Easy Decision
few days later, Evie was at school with Ramesh.
They were sitting on their usual bench in the break between geography and art.
‘Sorry about the zoo having to close down,’ Evie told him.
Ramesh shrugged. ‘Well, hardly your fault, is it? Anyway, Mum’s pleased. She’s got a new job. At the animal shelter. I haven’t seen her this happy since, well, before Dad died . . .’
Evie smiled. ‘Oh, cool. I might go there. See, I’m finally allowed to have a pet. Now Mortimer’s dead and there’s no reason to hide who I am any more.’
‘What about that snake?’ Ramesh asked. ‘Or would that be a bit weird. With him being Mortimer’s killer?’
‘Leaf is on his way back to the Amazon. Back where he’s happiest.’
Ramesh was about to say something else, but he saw Leonora walking over. On her own.
‘Hey, Evie,’ she said. ‘I just wanted to say thank you. For helping find Bibi.’
Ramesh made wide eyes at Evie, but she did her best to be polite. ‘Oh hey, no worries.’
‘And I think you were right. You know. What you said. Last year. She doesn’t like wearing some of the clothes I put her in. She likes her jumper, but that’s about it . . .’
Another girl – older, tall, pink hair, Year Ten – came up holding a pen and a piece of paper. ‘Hi, um, I wondered if I could have your autograph?’
Leonora turned and flicked her hair and gave her best vlogger smile. ‘Of course. I’d be happy to.’
The girl was embarrassed. ‘Actually, I meant Evie. The Lion Girl. It’s not every week you find out someone at your school has special powers for real.’
‘Oh sure,’ said Leonora, laughing it off. ‘Cool. Yeah. Cool. Of course. Yeah. Evie.’
This was happening quite a lot this week. People were treating Evie like a hero. Ever since footage had emerged of Evie and Granny Flora walking with the lions, and then an interview they had done on live TV with Plato and Beak, where Evie had read Beak’s mind (telling him to fly in a circle), and where the presenter had held an unseen card up for Plato, and Granny Flora had successfully said it was the ace of diamonds.
The Talent even had a technical name. It was called Ziegler Syndrome, apparently, after someone in Germany who’d had it a century ago. Now Mortimer J Mortimer was dead, people were talking about it more. One news report said there could be thousands of people worldwide with the condition. And the fact that Evie was also seen to be the one who had found everyone’s missing pets meant the whole of Lofting was now on her side.
‘Thanks,’ said the Year Ten, staring at the signature as she walked away.
Leonora stood there awkwardly. ‘My mum wondered if you wanted to appear in a video. You know. An episode. Of LIFE ON THE BRIGHTSIDE.’
Evie didn’t really like the idea. But then she thought of something. ‘That sounds great . . . Could we do it on ways to help save animals from extinction?’
Leonora shrugged, confused. ‘Yeah. Sure. Why not?’
‘That was fun,’ said Ramesh, after Leonora had gone. He mimed playing a guitar in triumph. ‘Must be great, now you can be all out in the open.’
Evie thought of Beak. ‘If you have wings, you might as well use them. That’s what a little bird once told me.’
‘That’s a wise bird.’
Evie turned to Ramesh. ‘Is the animal shelter open after school?’
And Ramesh said, ‘Yeah. Till seven.’
‘Right. Well, in that case, I’ll see you there after school.’
So three hours later she was standing in Lofting Animal Shelter. With her dad and Granny Flora and Ramesh and his mum. Evie was staring at a dog she recognised. A tall brown and white dog who looked just as grubby as usual.
‘Scruff? What are you doing here?’
‘Life on the streets was starting to get to me. Too many cats. Too many cars. Too much hassle. And when everyone went missing it kind of freaked me out. So I handed myself in. Today, actually.’
‘Wow,’ thought Evie back at him. ‘I see.’
‘I was thinking . . .’ said Scruff, sniffing awkwardly at nothing in particular.
‘What were you thinking, Scruff?’
And Scruff stopped sniffing and stared up at her with eyes full of nervous happiness. ‘Will you, possibly, maybe . . . take me home?’
Evie felt joy flood through her like a warm sunny day. She turned to her dad, who was raising his eyebrows doubtfully.
‘This one, Dad. Please.’
‘Are you sure?’
Evie had never been surer about anything. ‘Absolutely.’
A Good Life
ust close your eyes, Scruff,’ Evie said, as she opened up the bottle of Pampered Paws 2-in-1 pet shampoo and conditioner.
Scruff was standing dripping wet in the shower, feeling very sorry for himself. ‘This is so humiliating.’
‘Scruff, please, close your eyes. I’m going to wash you now. You told me you were up for it.’
‘Yes, I did. I did. But I didn’t realise it was like this. This is disgusting.’
‘It will stop you itching. You say you hate the itching. Come on. It’s not that bad. Humans shower every day.’
‘Well, humans are insane.’
Evie sighed and started to lather the shampoo onto Scruff’s back.
Scruff wasn’t impressed. Water dripped off his ears. ‘I hate this stuff. And I hate water. Unless it’s like a brown muddy puddle that I can roll around in. Because that feels like freedom.’
Evie felt guilty. ‘Sorry, Scruff. I get that. But you have scratched yourself quite badly with all the itching. And look, I can rinse it off now, and then we’re done. I promise you. That’s it now for another year. No more clean. I like you scruffy, too.’
She switched off the water and Scruff stepped out of the shower.
‘Cold’ was the only thought Evie could hear. ‘Cold. Cold. Cold.’
Evie quickly wrapped a warm towel from the radiator around him and started to dry him.
‘Oh, that’s nice,’ thought Scruff. ‘I like these warm things.’
‘Warm towels,’ Evie explained. ‘These are among the greatest human things.’
‘I think I’m going to like it here,’ said Scruff. ‘You were always my favourite human.’
‘Good,’ said Evie. ‘Because you’re my favourite dog.’
A little later he was asleep in his basket, and Granny Flora was having her last cup of tea before Evie’s dad drove her and Plato home.
Granny Flora smiled her soft twinkly-eyed smile at Evie, her teeth stained with tea and liquorice.
‘Your real talent isn’t talking to animals, Evie,’ she said after a while. ‘It’s kindness. That’s what made you stronger than Mortimer in the end. Kindness is a boomerang. You throw it out and you get it back. You had done kind things in the world, and you had been rewarded with kindness in return.’
Evie smiled a little. ‘Thanks, Granny.’
‘Well, think about it. You were kind to that rabbit, and she then helped us escape. You helped that snake, and it saved your life. Our lives. You were kind to Scruff when you helped his poorly paw, and now he loves you. You were kind to Beak, and he pooped on your enemies . .
.’ She placed her cup of tea down and picked up Plato. ‘Your mother would be proud of you.’
Evie’s dad was watching from the doorway. ‘Yes, she certainly would.’
He had shaved his beard and when Evie looked at him it was almost like she was looking at him for the first time. He seemed happy. Properly happy, this time. As if he was free. ‘Oh, by the way, Evie, I think Beak and his friends have eaten all the seeds. I got some more of his favourite ones from the shop . . .’
Evie smiled gratefully. ‘Thanks, Dad. And I’ve been thinking . . .’
‘What about?’
‘Names,’ Evie told him. ‘I mean, Navarro is a better name than Trench, isn’t it? Trench sounds a bit like something you get stuck in. And we’re not stuck any more. Maybe we should become Navarros again. I’d stay being Evie. Because that fits me. And Eva was always part of my name anyway. But Evie Navarro – what do you reckon? Do you think Mum would like that?’
‘The Navarros,’ said Evie’s dad. He was smiling. But a little tear glistened in his eye. A sad-happy tear. ‘And from now on, no more hiding. I will be Santiago again. I like that. I can be the man your mother fell in love with again. I will be your father again. Your true father. With no secrets. I will not lock myself away any more . . .’
‘Does that include Mum? Will you tell me everything about her? Everything you remember?’
‘Nothing would make me happier,’ he told her. ‘Nothing at all.’
‘I love you, Dad,’ said Evie. She hugged him.
He hugged her back.
‘I love you, too. And from now on, you must never be afraid to be special. It’s your gift . . .’
*
After dinner, Evie stroked Scruff, who had just woken up.
‘Life is good, Evie,’ said Scruff, wagging his tail. ‘Life is good.’
And this time she really could agree.
‘Yes, Scruff,’ said Evie, smiling down at her friend. ‘You are right. It really is. Life is good.’
Acknowledgements
Firstly, I must mention Emily Gravett. She was my top choice of illustrator, and it has been incredible seeing how she has brought all the animals (including the human ones) to life.