The Alpine Yeoman

by Mary Daheim

  “It’s not a ‘thing,’ ” Vida replied indignantly. “It’s authentic, made of pith, which comes from a swamp plant.”

  “You found it in a swamp?” Leo asked, trying to look innocent.

  “Fie on you, Leo,” Vida retorted. “My daughter Beth sent it to me. They had a safari night at the country club she and her husband belong to in Tacoma. Beth thought I’d enjoy wearing it. And I do. Have you no sense of adventure?”

  “Not when it comes to hats,” Leo replied. “I suppose that under the right circumstances, it could be quite … adventurous.”

  Vida caressed the band that went around the crown. “It’s real. A lawyer friend actually wore it on safari last year. He donated it to the safari night auction for the Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital. Or is it a clinic? I don’t recall, but it’s in Tacoma.”

  “I’ve never been to Tacoma,” Mitch said, having recovered from stifling his laughter. “What’s it like?”

  “It’s quite large and very busy,” Vida said, sitting down at her desk. “Too large and too busy, in my opinion, but not nearly as dreadful as Seattle. I often feel sorry for Beth because she has to live there instead of in Alpine, but her husband’s law practice is very lucrative.”

  “And free hats,” Leo noted.

  Vida glared at Leo. “Not free hats! Beth paid a hundred and sixty dollars for this. The bidding was quite ferocious.”

  “I stand … or sit corrected,” Leo said, running up the white flag and sinking his teeth into a raspberry Danish Kip had brought from the Upper Crust.

  I chose a maple bar, being in a prosaic Monday morning mood. By the time the mail arrived shortly after nine-thirty, it dawned on me that the letters, emails, and phone calls about the mayor’s plan were beginning to dwindle. That was typical of readers’ attention span. I decided to follow up with another editorial to convince SkyCo residents that this was the wave of the future and they’d better get used to it. Of course, that wasn’t necessarily true, but I’d say it anyway.

  Leo came in a few minutes later to show me the mock-up he’d put together for all of our merchants who sold gardening and yard supplies.

  “I know we ran something like this in our spring special edition last month,” he said, “but everybody got off to an early start because of the warmer weather. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it another shot. Harvey Adcock at the hardware store and the folks at Mountain View Gardens liked the idea, and then everybody else including Delphine Corson fell into line. I think I’ll take her out to dinner just for the hell of it.”

  I was surprised, given that Leo had dated our local florist a few years earlier and found her too eager to take their romance to a higher level. “Isn’t that a bit risky?” I asked.

  Leo chuckled. “Just because my ex seems inclined to forgive if not forget doesn’t mean I have to live like a monk. Say, I tried to track down that company Roger’s working for, but I can’t find a local or even an online listing. I asked the Duchess about it. She was kind of vague, though she did say their main offices were out of town. I wonder if she gave us the right name. I tried to Google them.”

  “Any luck?”

  Leo shook his head. “I found several. One in Chicago, another in the Southwest, even one in Australia. But nothing local.”

  “It may be a subdivision of a bigger company. Call Amy, Vida’s daughter. She ought to know.”

  “Good idea,” Leo agreed. “I’d like to include them in this garden ad. They must do outdoor parties, including rentals like tents and canopies.”

  My ad manager went on his way. Vida and Mitch had left on their rounds. Maybe my House & Home editor was giving the Fritzes another try. I finished my editorial, though it wouldn’t exactly rock readers out of their complacency. I was in a quandary about Helena Craig’s confidences. If there was a story, it should go to Mitch. But for now, I’d hold off. High school hookers were as touchy a subject as I could think of. In fact, I preferred not thinking about them at all.

  Mitch didn’t return until after ten. He usually had covered the sheriff’s office and the courthouse by nine-fifteen. I expected him to come into my office with major news but saw him pouring a coffee refill and picking up his second or third raised doughnut. I decided to get more coffee, too.

  “Anything of interest?” I asked after he sat down at his desk.

  “Yes, but I don’t know what it is,” he replied with a quirky expression. “It’s the sheriff. Maybe you already know.”

  “I do not,” I said, sitting in his visitor chair. “If I did, I wouldn’t have to ask.”

  “Okay, I’ll believe Dodge practices extreme discretion at home. It just seems strange when his wife is an inquisitive journalist.”

  “That’s why,” I said dryly. “I even tried feminine wiles early on, and he told me I didn’t have any.”

  “But you married him anyway,” Mitch said, sounding bemused.

  “Yes. I couldn’t resist his utter lack of charm. So what was or wasn’t going on with the sheriff?” I asked after taking a sip of coffee.

  “It was what wasn’t. Everybody was very subdued. In fact, the only one who was around when I got there was Lori Cobb. Obviously, the sheriff had called a meeting. That’s what took me so long. I had to go back to see if I could find out what was happening. I flunked. Even Mullins wasn’t talking.” Mitch bit into his doughnut.

  “Keep checking,” I said.

  “Sure.” He brushed crumbs off his brown shirt. In March, he’d finally stopped wearing a tie to work. It was hard for him to shake his big-city ways. I’d had that problem early on in Alpine, too. “They’ve got three vehicles in impound,” he went on. “I’d never looked out in back, but I decided to snoop a bit. One’s the Porsche from the wreck that took out the milepost sign, the other’s an abandoned sedan. Fong had told me that the ATV belonged to the murder victim. It was found by the landing strip near the Skykomish Ranger Station. Is the strip for public use?”

  “I think so. It’s mainly for emergencies, though. What are you thinking? Fernandez met someone who arrived by air?”

  Mitch shrugged. “Why else would it be there?”

  “I considered it a possible rendezvous point. Nobody goes there without a good reason. Maybe you should check with the ranger station.”

  “Wouldn’t Dodge have done that?”

  “Probably.”

  Mitch laughed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just can’t quite figure out how you keep from trying to kill him.”

  “It’s not always easy,” I said, getting up as Vida returned, pith helmet at a slight angle.

  “Well now,” she said, marching over to Mitch’s desk, “I found a Fritz. The girl’s very pregnant. Her parents both work for the state department of game. She was home alone. She calls herself Bambi.”

  I laughed. “That fits Miss Fritz if Mom and Dad work for the game department.”

  “True. She liked my helmet.”

  “I’m surprised,” I said. “I’d think she’d be afraid you were hunting wild animals. Does she plan to return to school after the baby arrives?”

  “Yes,” Vida said, making her way to her desk. “Bambi seemed remarkably cheerful. She’s giving the baby to relatives in Oregon. Medford, I believe. They’re childless.”

  “Not pining for the father of the kid then?” I inquired.

  “Not in the least. I don’t think there is a father.”

  I followed Vida to her place as she sat down. “What do you mean?”

  “People are very peculiar sometimes,” Vida said, tugging at her left earlobe. “I gather she’s carrying her uncle’s child. That is, he was the sperm donor. I assume her aunt—who’s actually her mother’s cousin—is barren. If so, it would make rather a nice story, don’t you think?”

  “It would, if the family didn’t object. It seems to me that Freeman is being a bit of a stick about this in keeping her out of school. Maybe the Fritzes didn’t explain the situation. As a feel-good story, it’s perfect for Mother’s D
ay next month. I’m guessing that’s when she’ll deliver.”

  Vida nodded. “May sixth. I’ll keep in touch. I think this is a first for Doc Dewey. Elvis Sung might have already done such a thing when he was still practicing in Hawaii. I’m always puzzled why people want to live on islands so far from anywhere else. They must feel disconnected.”

  “Adam loved the time he spent there in college,” I said. “The people are very friendly.”

  “Yes, I suppose they would be.” Vida turned thoughtful. “Isolated and all, cut off from the rest of the world. Rather like Alpine in the early days, when the only way into the town was by train. More sun and beaches, of course. I don’t think I’d care for that.”

  It was pointless to comment on how much other people enjoyed the islands. I’d been there once, though it had been no pleasure trip. Just after purchasing the Advocate, I’d gone with Adam to get him settled in. The only sightseeing I had time for was of the campus and the dormitory. I felt cheated, but I was still adjusting to my new situation in Alpine. Adam had lived with me in my newly purchased little log cabin for only a month before starting his checkered college career. Once we arrived in Honolulu, he spent most of his time checking out girls. If I’d had a crystal ball, I would’ve figured it had to be badly cracked.

  On the other hand, it was a good thing that I didn’t have a crystal ball. If I did, I might have smashed it to bits.

  TWENTY-ONE

  LEO STOPPED IN TO ASK IF I’D LIKE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH him at the ski lodge. I accepted the offer and ten minutes later we were seated in the restaurant section.

  “If you tell me you’re quitting, I’m leaving now,” I said before looking at the menu, which I knew by heart anyway.

  He chuckled. “No, it’s not that. I just felt like a change of pace. I can only eat so much grease every day.”

  “I almost believe you.” I told him about how Milo and I had gone over to have dinner in Leavenworth.

  “I’ve driven over there a half dozen times,” Leo said after we’d given our orders for the King Olav version of the Caesar salad. “Kind of a fun little town. Maybe I’ll take Delphine there Wednesday night. If nothing else, the atmosphere will be interesting.”

  I smiled. “I recall you and Milo once talked about dating Delphine. Not at the same time, of course. Aren’t you afraid she might rush you off to the nearest JP?”

  “I made it clear a long time ago that marriage was a bad idea,” Leo said. “Delphine’s lonely. Her ex moved away after the divorce, right?”

  “Yes. I never knew him. That happened before I arrived in Alpine.”

  Leo looked puzzled. “Vida never told you?”

  “No. I gather she blabbed to you.”

  He shook his head. “Delphine told me. Her husband came out of the closet. He was the one who wanted out.”

  I laughed. “Poor Delphine. They had a couple of kids.”

  “Took the guy a long time to figure it out, I guess.” Leo grew serious. “What’s up with Vida? She took off like a rocket around eleven-thirty.”

  “I missed that. I must’ve been in the back shop with Kip. Was she upset or angry?”

  “I couldn’t tell. She’d been on the phone and so had I. The next thing I knew, she bolted out of her chair, grabbed her coat, and rushed off. By the way, I called Amy about the Party Animal outfit, but she wasn’t home.”

  “Good grief, I hope it’s not another Roger crisis.”

  “I don’t think so,” Leo said. “Just a few minutes earlier, when I told her I was trying to include Party Animals in our ad, she was all aglow. In fact, she mentioned that he had another assignment today. That’s good news, for a change.”

  Our food arrived, and we moved on to other topics. Leo and I agreed that Mitch’s spirits had seemed better the last few days, which meant Brenda must be improving. He asked about Tanya. I told him that she, too, was on the mend, thanks in part to Deputy Blatt’s attentions. She had spent the night again with Bill at Milo’s house.

  “That’s beginning to sound serious,” Leo said. “Of course, it’s a rebound romance for both of them. Those don’t always work out too well. Mutual misery isn’t a solid foundation for the future.”

  I agreed, but I felt that at least Tanya was seeing somebody who wasn’t weird. We split the check and headed back to the office.

  By one-thirty, Vida hadn’t returned from lunch. I went out front to ask Amanda if she knew where Vida had gone.

  “I wasn’t here when she left,” our receptionist replied. “I was in the restroom. I seem to spend half my time peeing these days.” She caressed her bulging abdomen. “Pressure, according to Dr. Sung. It has to be a boy. A girl wouldn’t make me so miserable.”

  “Don’t count on it,” I said. “Babies are tricky little creatures.”

  Despite her complaint, Amanda beamed. “I can’t wait. July seems so far away.”

  “Trust me. It’ll seem even further in June.”

  “Gee, thanks, Emma,” she said. But she giggled.

  By two o’clock, Vida still hadn’t showed up. I was feeling antsy, so I left my cubbyhole and headed for the sheriff’s office. If nothing else, I could listen to Milo growl at me about whatever was going on at his workplace. Mitch had considered checking in there again, but decided to hold off. Now that school was back in session, he’d headed up to see Principal Freeman and take some pictures of the not-so-happy students who’d been forced back into the classroom on a fine April day.

  To my surprise—and maybe relief—everything seemed normal at headquarters. Lori was in place. Dwight was behind the counter, and Milo was in his office with the door open.

  Dwight, of course, wasn’t exactly delirious to see me. “You better not be bugging the boss about your remodeling project,” he warned me.

  “I’m not,” I said, going inside the curving counter. “I have to ask his advice about what I should wear when we go out to dinner the next time. I think he’d like my green dress, but it’s wool and the wrong season.”

  Dwight glowered at me and muttered something that was probably unprintable.

  “Hi,” I said, startling my husband, who was absorbed in some kind of reading material. “I have a query.”

  “About what?” he asked, not looking very pleased to see me.

  “About the landing strip,” I said, settling into one of his visitor chairs. “Why was the ATV there?”

  “Because Fernandez was meeting with one of Averill Fairbanks’s spaceships from Uranus. How the hell do I know?”

  “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” I said in mock dismay.

  Milo leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know that Fernandez was the one who left it there. His killer could have driven off in it and dumped it. No blood anywhere on the ATV, in case you were about to ask.”

  “Were there prints besides the vic’s on it?”

  “Several, but all of them smudged. Those things attract attention. The park rangers checked it out, too, after they heard about the kids finding it. And before you ask, they didn’t see Averill’s spaceship or anybody else’s land there on Monday. I might’ve told you if they had.”

  “ ‘Might’ isn’t a very reassuring word,” I said.

  He shrugged. “So why are you really here?”

  “Because Mitch told me something was going on this morning. A meeting, he thought.”

  “That’s right.” Milo sat up and leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I told everybody to be on the lookout for Heppner because he might be part of the investigation. I didn’t go into details, just alluded to the fact that there was some Toppenish connection between him and the dead guy. And no, I did not suggest that he was a suspect. All I want is information, and that’s part of his damned job, on leave or vacation or whatever the hell he’s doing. Can you keep your mouth shut?”

  I was annoyed. “Don’t I always?”

  He leaned back again. “That depends. Damnit, why do you look so cute? You’re ruining my bad mood. Go away.”r />
  I stood up. “I will. Goodbye, Sheriff.”

  “Hold it.” He got out of his chair and came around to where I was standing. “Move away from the door. Don’t look so pissed. All I want to do is hug you. Otherwise, I might go out and deck Gould just for the hell of it. Then I’d have to suspend myself.”

  I nestled against him. “I hate you.”

  “I know. Mmmm. Feeling you always makes me feel better.” He let go of me and swatted my rear. “Now beat it.”

  I left, but I couldn’t keep from smiling. Dwight glowered some more.

  It was a good thing I’d stopped smiling by the time I crossed the street and got as far as the hobby shop. Vida’s Buick was parked there, with one front tire up on the curb. Something was obviously amiss. She usually parked with such precision that the inches on each side to the diagonal white lines matched exactly. I picked up the pace, almost running by the time I reached the Advocate.

  Amanda looked stricken, but I could already hear Vida’s raised voice in the newsroom.

  “I shall never give in!” she proclaimed to Leo and Kip, who seemed frozen in place. “Don’t tell me about legal mumbo jumbo!” She stomped back and forth by Mitch’s desk. “I won’t have it! You hear me?” She yanked off the pith helmet and threw it in the vicinity of her desk.

  “Vida!” I shouted. “What’s wrong?”

  She turned to stare at me with wild gray eyes. “Everything! That tart of a Holly Gross has gotten a court order to share custody and …” She burst into tears and would have slumped to the floor had Kip not rushed to steady her. Leo helped him guide Vida to her chair. Her glasses had fallen off. I picked them up and stood helplessly, wondering if I should call Doc Dewey.

  Vida, however, seemed to be calming down. “I’m such a ninny!” she exclaimed, almost sounding like herself. But she was rubbing her eyes in that familiar gesture of distress. I winced, certain that I could hear her eyeballs squeak.

  “Here, Vida,” I said, standing between Leo and Kip. “Your glasses are fine. They bounced.”

  She stopped rubbing and took them from me. “Thank you. I shouldn’t have come back to work. Now I’ve created a scene. That’s intolerable. But there was nothing more I could do at Ted and Amy’s. They’re inconsolable, of course.”